Fear and Aggression

by Dane Bagley

Aspiria finished her meal before she realized that she had not prayed over it. It was the first time in her life that she had eaten without a blessing being offered first. She got back up on the table, and asked a blessing. She had been so scared—so overwhelmed—but now she felt a little better. She offered her prayer, and asked for a blessing of protection on her family. She knew that Roloff and Caryell would be worried sick, and she asked that they would receive comfort.

  Aspiria did not know who her captors were, but she sensed some kindness; at least from the two that were with her now. It was the worst meal that she had ever eaten in her life, but she still expressed gratitude for it. She worried, a little, that they might be offended that she didn’t eat all of it. She worried even more that they might force her to eat those horrific orange things again. Aspiria had never been a picky eater, but she had never had such horrible smelling and tasting food put in front of her. The meat wasn’t too bad. She had never heard of orange food, and she had never smelled something so rancid in all of her life.

  She felt tired, but not sleepy. Her head ached, worse than ever before. She didn’t know how long she had been away from home; in a way it felt like minutes and in other ways it felt like days. She wanted to look at her right thigh, where she had been shot with the dart, but was not comfortable lifting her dress up high enough to see it with these people looking on. She felt like she had been seen and inspected. She could see small injuries on her arm, and she suspected that she had been examined while she was out. Her underclothing had felt just a little off when she had woken up. It was not a pleasant thought, but she did think that she had already been undressed in front of them. She couldn’t tell if they were men, or women. So far, she had not heard a sound from them, and she had only seen them in their strange suits. When she spoke, they did not seem to understand, but when she gestured, they seemed to be very interested.

  What do they want with me? she thought. Maybe I interrupted something that they were doing in the woods. Perhaps I got in their way. Maybe I was shot with the drugged dart on accident. This seems like a medical clinic of sorts. Perhaps I was brought here to recover from the drugged dart. Did they save my life? Those suits seem like they are trying to protect themselves from me. No, they were wearing them when I got shot. I remember seeing that before I went out. I’ve been awake for at least a few hours, why don’t they let me know what’s going on?

  As she pondered her extraordinary circumstances, she began to feel a sensation. It was the first indication of the need to urinate. It was not initially alarming to her, but it lead to a new train of thought. She knew that she was dehydrated until she had had all of those glasses of water. But she had not had any need to urinate for the hours that she had been awake. She then noticed tenderness in her rectum. She was aware that her bowels felt entirely empty. That was not her state before she had been taken captive. The thought of what had transpired during the time she was out made her shudder. She tried to think on other matters, but that fourth glass of water had kicked her kidneys into gear. The initial sensation to urinate was strengthening, quickly.

  The people that were standing guard had been very helpful to her with her glasses of water and her meal. How do I communicate to them that I need to use the facilities? she thought. The cell that she was in was small, completely visible to the outsiders, and with nothing that resembled a toilet facility. Aspiria waited as she pondered, but the urgency was coming on quickly. She got off the table, and walked to the bars at the front of her cell. She tried to make eye contact, with the silver helmets, and the people seemed to be paying attention to her. She put her hand on her belly and gave a facial expression of discomfort. The people in suits looked at her, and then glanced at each other. She could tell that they were somehow speaking with each other, as she could see that their body language indicated conversation.

  They looked back at her, and didn’t move. This time she spoke out loud. “I need to use the facilities. I think that I drank too much water, too quickly.” The people could hear her, she thought, as they seemed to be listening. They looked at each other and began to show evidence of communication again. The one that had brought her the meal and water stepped forward, and began to walk towards her. He stopped short of the bars, and appeared to glare at her, though she could see no eyes. She again placed her hand on her belly and tried to show discomfort and urgency on her face. The suited person looked on at her for a moment and then turned to the other suited person again.