by Jamie Begley
“It should have been me,” Lily cried.
Beth shook her head against the dirty floor. “There was no way I was ever going to watch him hurt you. You’re my little sister.”
“The ambulance will be here in five, the FBI in ten,” Lucky told him.
“Knox, you and Train take these so-called Christians to the front of the church and get them lined up for them.” Knox nodded. “Cash, Rider, take Saul,” Shade ordered.
Lucky laid his revolver down on the podium. He took off his do-rag and used it to staunch the blood coming from Saul’s wounded hand.
“We don’t want him to bleed to death, do we?” Lucky said sarcastically.
“Get your hands off me! I didn’t do anything. I was trying to stop them!” Brooke yelled as Train approached her.
Shade turned to stare at the lying bitch. She was already planning her defense.
“Shade, you have to see how weak she is! She can never be the woman you deserve.”
“Like you?” Shade snarled.
“Yes! She can’t understand you the way I can! She’ll never love you the way I do!” Brooke’s crazed eyes stared into his.
“Get her out of here before I kill her,” Shade ordered, not wanting to waste another second on her. Train pushed her toward the doorway.
Brooke was going out the front door beside Train when she shoved him, catching him off-guard. As he stumbled, off-balance, she bent down and picked up the gun of the man Shade had killed. Turning, she pointed it at Lily.
Shade lifted his rifle, taking a split-second to aim, remembering his promise to Lily as his finger tightened. A shot rang out next to him, and Brooke’s shocked expression went blank as she fell outside the open doorway with blood pouring from her chest.
Shade turned in stunned surprise to see Lily holding a gun, still pointing it at Brooke. He carefully reached out and took the gun away from her limp hand.
“Lily…?”
“I hit her, didn’t I?” Her voice trembled with hysteria.
“Yes, angel. You shot her in the chest.”
“I know. It’s what I was aiming for.” Lily’s legs gave out, and Shade managed to catch her as she fainted.
* * *
“Do you remember that time you fixed dinner and burned the meatloaf? You didn’t want to admit you had burned it, so you said it was the way you liked it. You managed two bites before you had to admit it was inedible.” Shade picked up Lily’s hand as he talked, picking another story to tell her.
“Do you know why I have so many tattoos? It’s because I felt invisible, as if I didn’t exist. The tattoos made me feel like I wasn’t a shadow.”
“Shade…” King came inside the room. “I’ll stay. Go home and get some sleep. I talked to the doctor…” King’s voice was hoarse, and his eyes were bloodshot.
For the last two days, neither King nor Shade had left her side.
“I’m not leaving her. You go home to Evie. I’ll call when she wakes up.”
King sat down in the chair beside Lily’s bed. Burying his head in his hands, he cried. “They think she’s had a psychological break,” King said. “They want to start her on medication.”
“She’s breastfeeding.” Shade had repeated it several times before and would continue to do so.
Rachel had come by that morning, leaving in tears. She had told him that, when she had tried to reach for Lily, she couldn’t find her.
Lily had confided in him that, as she was growing up, she had hid all her fears behind a door. Shade believed she was the one hiding behind that door at the moment, too afraid to come out and face that she had possibly killed someone.
“Please, angel, come home. I need you.”
Shade’s phone lit up with a text message. He read it before placing it back in his pocket. He went to the hospital door, opening it and finding Jane on the other side. She came inside the room, and Shade made no effort to touch the baby, going to the opposite side of the bed than Jane.
“Lily, I brought John. You told me you were only going to be gone a few hours, but it’s been three days. I need to go home. Cade’s waiting for me.” Jane’s soft voice filled the room as she talked to Lily.
Jane gently laid John down next to Lily. “I told you a few months ago that I envied you. Truth is, Lily, I don’t think anyone could have survived what you’ve had to face in your life. If it was me, I’d want to escape for a little while to rest, too, but it’s time to come home.
“John needs you. As much as I love him, he’s yours, not mine. John is yours and Shade’s, and he needs you.” Jane broke off, crying as she stepped away from the bed.
Shade stared down at his wife and son. “Rachel told me this morning that you had asked her to teach you how to shoot the day she came to visit you when John was born. You did target practice at Mag’s when you visited her. Lily, something inside you told you that you needed to protect your family. That’s what I’ve been doing since the day I met you.
“You were right; I can feel love. I thought I couldn’t all these years, but I could. I confused loyalty with love. It took us almost losing John for me to understand what you’ve been telling me all along.
“The last time you tried to leave me, I could follow you. I can’t follow you where you are now, so you have to come back here to me and John.”
As his son began to whimper, Shade didn’t try to give him his paci or pick him up.
Jane stepped forward. “Let me.”
“His mother will get him. Won’t you, Lily? The nights I went in to check on him, you were already there, watching over him.
“You didn’t want me to kill Brooke, because you didn’t want him to be raised without a father, but he needs a mother, too. I won’t raise him without one.” His voice lost its gentle tone, becoming harsher. “I’ll move Bliss in to take care of him. If she does well, I’ll marry her.”
Jane gave a shocked gasp.
“Who’s going to make sure he’s warm? You know I like to keep the house too cold.
“If you don’t wake up, we’re going to have to give him formula. I’ll pick the best one I can, but that shit’s expensive, and cheaper is always better.
“Who’s going to keep him from riding the motorcycle I’m going to buy him when he gets old enough to ride?”
John began to cry louder.
“For God’s sake, Shade, pick him up.” King stood.
“When King gets too old to take care of himself, I’ll put his ass in a nursing home.”
Shade gave it a final try. “When John turns eighteen, he can join The Last Riders with Chance and Noah. They’ll have a fucking blast.”
“Shade…” King took his arm, trying to move him away from the bed.
“Let me go!” Shade snarled, picking his crying son up and placing the paci back in his mouth.
“You didn’t kill that bitch. You missed her heart. If you don’t come back, she wins, Lily.”
Tears fell down his cheeks as he stared at her. “Lily, I’m begging … please come back.”
When Lily remained unmoving, Shade turned his back to the bed and began rocking his son, placing him against his shoulder as he crooned to him the song Lily always sang to put him to sleep.
“Twinkle, Twinkle, little…”
John began to cry harder.
“Shade!” King’s voice had him spinning around.
Lily was watching him from the bed.
Shade walked back to her.
“I told you it scares him when you sing.”
Chapter 94
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Shade warned as they walked up the pathway to the clubhouse.
“I’m sure. I want to see our house before I go inside,” Lily told him, carrying John as they drew near the corner of the clubhouse to see what remained of their home.
Most of the wood was already broken apart and moved to the side so they could try to recycle as much of it as possible. The Last Riders had already begun the clean-up, moving what furniture cou
ld be saved to the storage room of the factory and throwing the rest away.
Lily stood, looking at her destroyed home.
“I’m sorry, angel. I should have listened to my instincts and had that tree cut down before I had the house built.”
“It wasn’t your fault.” Lily leaned against his side, and Shade wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “We didn’t lose anything which couldn’t be replaced. We’ll build it back. That house was built for a woman who didn’t know who she was by a man who was afraid to show who he was. That’s why it was broken. The house we build now is going to be stronger, and nothing is going to break it apart.”
“You sure about that?” Shade teased.
“Yes,” Lily answered firmly, handing him John who was wrapped in the blanket Shade had dug out from his crushed dresser. It was the one Lily’s mother had made for her.
“I know someone who is going to be very happy with this,” Lily said as she started going through a box of pictures the women had found.
“Who?”
“Leonard, the man at the furniture store. I bet he retires after we repurchase our furniture.”
“You ready to go inside?” Shade asked, turning her toward the clubhouse.
“Are you sure it’s okay? A crying baby in the middle of the night is going to be hard for them to listen to until we get our house built,” Lily worried as they went inside the kitchen from the back door. The kitchen was completely empty as they walked through it to the club room.
“I’m going to lay John down then go see Beth and Razer…” Lily came to a stop in the kitchen doorway, staring in surprise at the club room.
Blue balloons were everywhere. There was a cake and food sitting on the bar counter, and the pool table was filled with presents. All The Last Riders, Sex Piston and her crew, Willa, and Beth standing with Razer filled the room.
“What’s going on?” Lily asked, staring up at Shade.
“They decided not to listen to me and threw you a baby shower,” Shade complained with a grin.
Pleasure filled Lily’s face. “I just have to ask; did you make anything?”
Shade left her side and going behind the counter, he pulled out a motorcycle with a stuffed teddy bear at the wheel. It was made out of diapers.
Lily released a giggle of laughter. “It’s a masterpiece.”
“No. John’s my best work so far, but give me time. I get better each time I make something.”
* * *
“Where do you think you’re going?” Shade glided the towel over his wet body.
As Lily paused while putting on her lipstick, he felt her eyes slide over his body in the bathroom mirror. His cock began hardening at the desire easily visible in the violet orbs.
“I’m going to work.” Her jaw was set determinedly as she stiffened at the bathroom counter. She was ready to get into an argument as to why she couldn’t go.
“Who’s going to watch the baby?”
“I am. He’s going with me. The store’s never really busy, and I can breastfeed him in the back room.”
“Are you ready to go back?” Shade rubbed his wet hair with the towel.
Lily’s eyes went to his abdomen. “Yes.” She licked her bottom lip.
His cock lengthened at her concentrated stare. He hadn’t fucked her for two weeks, wanting to give her time to recover from having her adoptive father kidnap her and then her breakdown.
“Okay.” Shade tossed the towel into the hamper, walking into the bedroom to get dressed. Lily’s look of disappointment followed him.
Taking out a pair of jeans and socks, he pulled on the jeans before sitting on the bed to put on his socks.
Lily put on her white sandals. She was wearing a pale pink dress, looking as pretty as the sunny, early summer day outside.
Shade reached for one of his boots, tugging it on. As he stretched for the other one, Lily kneeled, handing it to him.
“Can I ask you something?” The troubled look in her eyes warned him that it was a topic he had avoided since she had returned from the hospital.
“No,” he said sharply.
She lowered her gaze to the floor.
“Eyes to me, Lily.” He reached out, snagging a tendril of her hair and gently tugging it.
She did as told, scooting forward until she was kneeling between his thighs.
“I am not going to have any more lies between us; do you understand me? So don’t ask me questions I’m going to answer with a lie.”
“Why did he hide from us? As mean as he was, we would have welcomed him home. He was our father.”
Shade reached out to cup her cheek. Lily hadn’t asked about Saul before, and Shade was certain it was because her mind hadn’t been ready to hear the answers. Lily’s gentle soul still fought to forgive and understand evil, even after it had nearly destroyed her. She had been pushed to learn to defend herself, not because of her own needs, but because of the love she had for John and him.
She was feeling strong, which was why she wanted to return to work. Shade thought it would be good for her. There was no danger for her there anymore. With Brooke in the hospital under armed guard, Merrick Patterson had resigned as pastor, returning to Georgia to be with his son. Apparently, Brooke had gone to Georgia long enough to drop her child off with his grandmother before she had returned to Kentucky.
Brooke would never understand the love Lily felt for him. Hell, he hadn’t believed Lily loved him as much as he did her until Brooke’s revelations the day at the doctor’s office. That day had showed that his wife was able to look past the man he had been. Brooke had also underestimated Lily’s strength to do what it took to keep her family safe and happy, which was why he hadn’t touched her in two weeks.
She was stronger, so he would talk to her that night. He didn’t want her submissive to him if she was only doing it to please him. He would miss that aspect of their relationship, but he would suppress that side of himself if she was doing it only to make him happy. She’ll avoid the conversation, but it’s one we are going to have, Shade thought determinedly.
“I will tell you what we know. Your mother was killed in the flash flood with the rest of the village he was ministering to. Then he traveled from village to village, preaching to whoever would listen and give him and a place to stay.
“He made no attempt to come back until recently. He had come to a village where a Christian group was visiting, and they helped him get paperwork to get back in the United States.
“He showed up at the church one night when Brooke was there, and Merrick was visiting someone.” He watched her reaction carefully to Brooke’s name and gave a silent breath of relief as she continued to listen. “She told him how his congregation had fallen since he left. The egotistical bastard believed he would find it as he left it—too afraid to commit any sins.”
“He’s mentally ill.”
“No shit,” Shade snapped then calmed at seeing the hurt she tried to hide. “Angel, he’s more than mentally ill; he’s a sadistic whack job. Brooke fed that craziness, telling him about Beth’s and our relationships before we were married, that we belonged in a motorcycle gang. She fueled him into striking out then told him she would help him get his church back from Merrick, but it would take time. He would have to prove to his congregation that he deserved the church again. She stashed him at Cal’s house after she asked him who his most faithful followers were.”
“I remember Cal’s parents went there from the time they were little. They were very upset when they heard he had died.”
“They believed Saul could heal her cancer. They placed all their belief in him and even went so far as to stop her chemo, which was why she was slipping so fast. Cal wanted to tell someone, but he wanted to make his mother happy during her last days. Saul slowly contacted more members of his congregation, and they began meeting at Cal’s house.”
“Poor Cal.” Lily’s soft voice was filled with sympathy.
Shade agreed with Lily that time. The kid had wanted
to give his mother peace in her last days; instead, it had been horror-ridden. She had died two days before at home, still believing Saul would save her.
“Cash has talked to him several times and warned his father to stay away from him. Because he needs the job Drake gave him, he’s signed over guardianship. He’s living with Drake and Jace.”
“I’m glad.” Lily laid her head down on his thigh. “The day we went there, it was filthy. I can’t imagine Cal living there.” She shuddered.
Razer had told them they had known something was wrong when they had entered Cal’s house. The front door had been opened by Cal, and Razer had been carrying the Crockpot. Cal’s father had slammed the door shut behind them, attacking Razer as more men jumped them. Then they had grabbed Beth and Lily, threatening to hurt them if Razer didn’t stop fighting. Saul used the storm outside to work them into a religious frenzy as proof God wanted him to punish them. They were tied up, thrown in the trunks of their cars, and driven to the other church.
“It’s over, angel,” Shade reminded her.
Lily rose to her feet. “Yes, it’s over.”
John cried from the other side of their bed.
“He’s hungry.”
“When isn’t he?” Shade joked, going to the chest to get a shirt while watching as Lily sat down on the rocking chair to nurse the baby.
They had moved back into the basement while their house was being rebuilt. He hadn’t wanted to move back downstairs after the fire, but after one night upstairs, the members coming to work the next day bleary-eyed had convinced him it was for the best. He had asked Lucky if they could use it until their house was finished and he had agreed, moving back upstairs for the time being.
Shade had alleviated his worries about his family being trapped in the back room by pulling the workers off the house for long enough to build a trap door which they could crawl through to the club room. It had only taken a day, and he was much more at ease since they had an emergency exit.
Lily switched breasts and John latched on quickly, making Shade laugh. Lily grinned down proudly, rubbing his head with a gentle hand. He took his cell phone out of his pocket, snapping a picture.