She could hear heavy footsteps heading her way, indicating Jensgar had arrived. He had told her he’d had to finish a bit of work and had a meeting with King Leonidas when he left hours before. Lily knew it was only a matter of time before he was given his own pack. Alpha wolf shifters were not as common as one would hope, and many packs were still managed by the king’s agents until an alpha was found to take responsibility for the group. A pack was never complete without its alpha. In fact, a few of those packs had been waiting hundreds of years for an alpha to lead them.
The irony of the entire situation was not lost on Lily. The tables had turned and she realized that she was fate’s biggest joke. Somehow, somewhere the gods were having a good laugh at her expense. First Jensgar rejects her due to her omega status, and now Lily would be forced to reject him so that a pack would survive and flourish. Perhaps this was her punishment, or gift, for wishing to be reborn without omega powers.
“Ready to go?” Jensgar asked when he rounded the corner and gifted her with one of his handsome smiles. “It’s time to break you out of this joint.”
Before she could answer or even ask where she was going, Helena and Aldric followed him into her room. Both looked happy, but there was something else in their eyes she couldn’t quite decipher.
“We hear Dr. Cosmas has cleared you for release. I bet you’ll be happy to get out of here,” Helena said cheerfully before continuing. “We have everything set up in a nearby home that’s available for the two of you to stay in.”
“The two of us?” Lily asked.
“Of course, you and me,” Jensgar answered as if it was a foregone conclusion. “I’m not going anywhere without you.” He gathered the few supplies Lily had accumulated in her room. A brush, deodorant and lip balm, among other things, were carefully placed into a bag. No matter how many times she’d explained that perhaps they should slow down about any further talk of mating, the man refused to listen.
Aldric stepped forward and stated, “That is where you will heal. The rest will work itself out in time.”
Dr. Cosmas came in carrying a small white paper bag. “Don’t forget your medication,” he told her as he placed the bag onto the table beside her bed. “Take them if the pain becomes too much, but you should be fully healed within two weeks.”
“It will be nice to be able to move around again without pain. Thank you, Dr. Cosmas, for everything you did to save my life.” Lily was truly grateful. Though she had offered her life in exchange for Jensgar’s, Lily was happy to be here with her friends and her love.
Jensgar placed the medicine into the cloth bag before handing it to Lily and then scooping her up off the bed. “I think that’s everything. Ready to go?”
“I guess so. It doesn’t sound like I have much of a choice either way,” she commented before realizing how far up off the ground she was. “Are you still growing?”
“I sincerely hope not. And Lily, you always have a choice. If you no longer wish my company, we can make other arrangements. You only have to tell me so.” Jensgar looked her straight in the eyes, making her regret ever saying she didn’t have a choice.
Of course, she wanted him near her. She loved him, but their lives had changed so much in such a short period. “Being with you is all I want, but it’ll make it harder to go when you leave.”
“As I’ve already stated and will continue to, I’m not going anywhere without you. So, you might as well wipe that from your list of things to worry about. I love you. I was an idiot before, and I’ll be damned if I make that mistake twice.” Jensgar spoke with such vehemence that a flicker of hope ignited a tiny flame deep inside her soul. In the end, Lily responded with her heart’s desire. “Then I guess we should go.” She was doomed.
He flashed a blinding smile in response before he turned toward the clinic door. Lily could feel his happiness as he ran his jaw over the top of her head, scenting her as his. She decided to accept it even knowing that in the end circumstances would conspire to separate them once again. Perhaps she should try to make as many memories as possible because in the future that would be all she had.
She’d been stuck inside for too long. The sun seemed overly bright. Habit had her reaching out to the growing world around her and once again, she received static in return. Of course, Jensgar noticed. The man missed nothing. He wore his concern and guilt like a cloak, but he remained silent. She would have to get used to her new world and the role she would play in it. One step at a time.
“Perhaps I could find a job in one of the local shops.” She had all the basic skills. She’d attended college. “I’ll have to start learning how to make my way.”
“You don’t need to worry about that. If you choose to have a career because you want to, then go for it, but if you’re doing it because you think you have no other choices, you do. I’m your mate. It is my honor to care for you.”
“We are not mates. There hasn’t been any biting.” Lily didn’t know why she was angry at his words, but she was. “And I can take care of myself.” Which was funny considering she couldn’t even walk to her temporary home.
“No doubt. But I am here to help you. As for that bite, it will come in time. When you’re ready. And if not, I still intend to stay. Both the human and animal inside of me wants only you. Now let’s get you settled.” Jensgar walked up the stairs and onto the porch of the small home covered in vines. He’d been doing the whole denial thing since Lily found out about his new alpha markings. He refused to listen to reason.
Lily reached up to touch the vibrant blue petals of the vines’ flowers but pulled away at the last moment. She could no longer feel the ebb and flow of their lives as she used to. It felt like part of her body was missing.
Jensgar continued into the house. If Lily thought the outside was beautiful she wasn’t prepared for what she found on the interior. Flowers and vines hung everywhere—from the beams on the ceiling, the fan in the living room, and from the curtain rod over the bay window. The colors weren’t only blue, as were the vines outside, they crossed the spectrum of a rainbow in different shapes and sizes.
“How? Were they always here or is this your doing?” Lily asked excitedly. She may not have her powers any longer, but that didn’t mean she still didn’t have the same love for that world.
Jensgar stopped in the center of the open-concept living space appearing as baffled as Lily. “I opened all the windows earlier today for your homecoming but I swear to you none of this was here when I left.” He smiled and his happiness was infectious. “It’s as if they knew you were coming.”
She hoped that was true. Even if she couldn’t reach out to them, it comforted her having them so near. He carried her over to the dark gray sectional, rubbing his cheek against her head one more time before setting her down.
“Are you hungry? I could make us something to eat,” he offered.
Lily had thought long and hard about letting the general go knowing that it was an eventuality—no longer an if, but a when. She could enjoy what little time they had left or make this difficult on him, which wasn’t fair. He had done nothing to deserve her ire. She understood that now. She no longer questioned why he had let her go—exactly as she would have to do.
With a genuine smile she answered, “I could eat.” That was the beginning of their temporary cohabitation.
She went into it knowing that neither of them would come out unscathed.
***
Over the next few days, they’d started to build a routine of sorts and Jensgar was enjoying every moment of it. Every morning he would wake with Lily safely tucked in his arms. She’d allowed him to share the king-sized bed, but that was all. So far, he’d only received chaste kisses and nothing more. He’d bide his time. He knew Lily loved him, but he also knew that she was preparing to let him go. But that wasn’t going to happen.
Jensgar was a patient man and knew he had plenty to make up for before Lily could fully trust in him and their mating.
They shared every meal
together, and they talked for hours or sat in silence when no words were needed. They’d watch movies in the living room and sit out on the porch in the late day sun. Flowers continued to pop up inside and around the house, which made Lily happy and content. They’d had numerous visitors while she was still recovering from her injuries. She spent a great deal of time resting.
Every hiss of pain brought him to his knees. She deserved none of what had been done to her. She hadn’t complained once through this entire ordeal when she had every right to be pissed with him. Not only had he broken her heart, but he hadn’t been able to protect her when it mattered most.
She had offered her life for his, and in so doing, she’d lost her omega abilities and almost her life.
If he lived for an eternity, he would be forever humbled by the magnitude of her gift.
There were many things for which he was grateful, not the least of which was that the skin on Lily’s forehead where she’d ripped out her omega jewel had healed completely without a scar. At least it wouldn’t be a constant reminder when she looked at her reflection of what she’d lost because of him.
“Are you going to sit there staring at me all afternoon?” she asked from her heavily pillowed chair on the front porch. He had ensured that the metal from the patio chair didn’t have a chance to hurt her healing skin.
He didn’t look away. “You are beautiful. You can hardly blame me for staring.”
Lily laughed and said, “Cut it out with the lines.”
“It’s not a line, it’s the truth.” He wasn’t sure what came over him but he stood and closed the distance between them. “I love you. You are my mate,” he told her before lowering his head and claiming her lips in a passionate kiss that he’d been desperate for.
He moaned deeply when she opened her lips, allowing him to dive in and map her luscious mouth with his tongue. She tasted of the lemonade she’d been drinking, but her underlying sweetness made him explore even deeper. She hadn’t turned him away. She was right there with him, tasting and moaning.
Jensgar felt his jeans tighten as his body began to respond to their need. He knew this wasn’t the time or the place. Lily was still healing. He’d kick himself in the ass if she were to reinjure herself. Reluctantly, he slowed the kiss and pulled away.
Her kiss-swollen lips were red, and he could see the tips of her extended canines peeking out from underneath. She was stunning in her arousal, and her scent had changed slightly, mingling with his. A change in scent was common between mates, taking part of their mate’s scent into themselves to combine into their new scent. This was the way it had always been, giving others plenty of notice that the pair were mated and off limits.
When she opened her crystal-clear blue eyes, Jensgar was humbled by the love shining in their depths. However, she quickly looked away, denying him what he so desperately needed.
“We can’t allow this to go any further,” she whispered.
He placed his index finger under her chin and gently turned her head so that she was looking at him once again. “We love each other. There’s nothing that will take me from you.”
“There are plenty of things that will be taking you away from me,” Lily growled and removed his finger from her chin. “You know that now you are an alpha and you can never fully mate with me. You can never have children with me.” A sad truth: alphas could have children only with an omega, while omegas could mate with a non-alpha and still bear young. “For that you need an omega, which I am no longer. Tell me, has the king offered you your own pack yet?”
Jensgar had hoped not to bring up the topic of packs until she was further along in her healing, but he couldn’t lie to his mate. “King Leonidas did mention it when he came to Black Ridge after the attack. He confirmed my new markings were indeed that of an alpha.”
He knelt down in front of Lily’s chair, placing himself at eye level.
“Where and when?” Lily asked. He could sense her sadness.
He wrapped his arms around his mate and said, “It doesn’t matter where or when because I’m not going anywhere without you. You need to understand how serious I am. I. Will. Never. Leave. You. Again.”
Lily held him close, as if she was afraid he’d disappear. “But that’s not fair to you or the pack you are destined to lead.”
Jensgar pulled back to look her in the eyes. “And any of this has been fair to you? You’re the one who’s suffered the most because of my stupidity.”
His beautiful mate looked at him strangely. “You’re not responsible for my injuries. That crazed beast is to blame, not you. That alpha was driven mad after losing his mate and daughter. Therefore, if we want to get technical, the ogres that attacked his pack are to blame. It was a series of events you had no control over.”
Stunned. There wasn’t another word to describe the emotion running through his body. He sensed the sincerity in each word. Lily truly didn’t hold him accountable for anything that happened. “How can you not blame me? After everything I’ve messed up and put you through.”
The soft skin of her palm caressed his stubbled cheek as a sad smile appeared on her lovely face. “Now that the shoe is on the other foot, I have a whole new understanding of the position I put you in. It’s a no-win situation anyway you look at. I know now that sometimes love isn’t enough.”
He could see the pain it caused her to say the words that love was not enough. He gathered her into his arms—his mate’s suffering was not for public display—and carried her back inside their little house. As they passed by the living room on the way to the bedroom, the flowers and vines seemed to be reaching out to them.
After kicking off his boots, Jensgar knelt on the mattress and placed Lily down before following her. Without missing a beat, he lifted her on top of his body, allowing her to cuddle into him, as he knew his mate loved to do. He wrapped her safely in his arms wishing he could travel back in time and knock some sense into his former self.
He never should’ve let her go. He knew that now, and swore never to be that foolish again.
Chapter Six
To say Lily was pissed beyond belief would be an understatement. If she still had her powers hell would be raining down right now all over the gardens. How could someone have the balls to do something like this? Lily limped as she paced around the gazebo, her leg still not fully healed from her injury. The gods weren’t speeding the process one bit.
“I’m sorry, Lily. I didn’t know this was going to happen. If I had, I would have warned you,” Helena explained, following beside Lily as she paced.
“How can this be? I’ve never heard of such a request.” Even when she had been an omega, she’d never heard of this type of thing happening. “If they’ve heard about Jensgar becoming an alpha, they must’ve heard about me and our ‘situation.’ Knowing that they still dared to make this type of request?”
“They petitioned my uncle, the king himself,” Helena said, sounding as angry as Lily. “Honestly I don’t think my uncle had a choice. Omegas have the right to ‘inspect’ the new alpha to see if there could be a possible match. I would never have thought of doing such a thing. I know people react differently, but I didn’t see this one coming.”
Lily had been pacing for the past hour waiting on news of the outcome. Imagine her surprise when she and Jensgar were called to the pack house only to find King Leonidas waiting for them. He’d explained that three omegas had requested a meeting with the new alpha and more would be arriving the following day. Lily had been so shocked that she stood and limped out of the room without saying a word to the king. Jensgar had been quick to follow her out and assure her that no matter how many omegas were paraded in front of him he’d already made his choice, and he loved her.
Several hours later, Lily began to think things through logically, once she had a chance to calm down. She realized that maybe this was for the best. Maybe Jensgar would have a chance of becoming a strong leader of his own pack with an omega at his side.
“I know th
at look. You wipe those thoughts right out of your mind, young lady. He does not want or require anyone but you.”
“Young lady? I’m older than you.” Lily couldn’t help the smile that broke out even though she felt anything but happy. Helena had been a great friend from the first time they met while being held prisoner by a dark wizard who wanted to harness their powers.
Helena buried her face in the palms of her hands and shook her head. “What’s happening to me? I’m mothering everyone.”
“Because you are a mother and leader of a pack. Two things I may never be,” Lily answered before censoring her thoughts. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that to make you feel bad.”
The pity in her friend’s eyes was something she never wanted to see again. “Don’t pity me that Jensgar and I can never have children. There are so many children orphaned every day due to dark witches and wizards running rampant over our lands, and let’s not forget the ogres they command. We can provide a loving, safe home to a few of them.”
Helena’s eyes lit up. “So you’ve decided to become Jensgar’s mate.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. “I knew you’d come to your senses.”
“Don’t get your horses hitched to that wagon quite yet.” Lily was still fighting between her feelings and what was best for Jensgar. Of course she loved him. That had never changed. In fact, it’d only become stronger since they’d been living together. “This isn’t a done deal.”
“If this is some sort of martyr situation I might have to knock you on your ass,” Helena stated in all due seriousness.
“Knock me on my ass,” Lily sputtered. “What the hell?”
Helena stopped pacing and turned to look Lily straight in the eyes. “I thought perhaps now that the circumstances had been reversed and you’d seen how much the general loves you, this would no longer be an issue.”
“I have learned, now that the tables have turned, and now understand fully why Jensgar refused me.” Lily growled as she turned and grabbed onto the railing of the gazebo, allowing her claws to dig deep into the hardwood.
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