“Look, lady, don’t you ever call me at this time of night, or ever, with this nonsense. What we had is over. What in the world is it going to take to get that through your stupid head.” He gritted his teeth and clenched his mouth as a cold knot formed in the pit of his belly. He walked back to his side of the bed and sat back down. His temples began to pound and his blood pressure must have certainly shot up.
“Look, I will not be brushed off, Carlton Porter. We need to settle things once and for all. Now tell me when you want to meet,” Avery demanded.
“You know darn well that kid isn’t mine! Now stop with the stupid antics. You had that baby at least two months before you told me it was due. I don’t know what kind of lie you told the doctor and I don’t know what game you’re playing, but you got the wrong one. That kid is not mine, Avery!” He lay back in the bed still holding the phone in his hand, and prayed that none of this would blow up in his face.
Meesha stumbled into the room, holding her head. She couldn’t believe the words she heard pouring out of Carlton’s mouth.
Carlton turned around. His heart raced and sweat suddenly appeared on his forehead. “Meesha,” he said, and dropped his cell phone onto the hardwood floor “I….”
“You dirty, filthy, lying dog,” she screamed and rushed up to him and started pounding him with her small fists all over his body. Her nostrils flared with fury.
“How…could you?” She was so furious she could hardly speak. Suddenly, two of their boys burst into the room. Obviously they had heard the commotion.
“Mom, what’s wrong?” CJ said and rushed up to his mother ready to defend her at all costs.
Son, it’s all right,” Carlton said. “Your mother just heard some bad news. She’s going to be okay. Let me get her settled. Go back to your room.”
Meesha couldn’t stop crying; she plopped down on the bed and then managed to look up at her two boys. “Please, do like your father says. I… I’m fine.”
Yes, ma’am,” the oldest one said. He touched his brother’s shoulder and the two of them left back out of the bedroom.
“Close the door behind you,” Carlton ordered and they did.
Meesha picked the phone up off the floor.
Avery was still on the other end and heard everything. Serves him right, she thought. He should have listened to me, and did what I told him to do, but noooo he wanted to play these childish games. Well, this will let him know that I’m not the one to be played with. God don’t like ugly.
“Avery, Avery, are you there?” Meesha barked into the phone.
“I’m here,” Avery answered in an eerily calm voice.
“So, this is the reason for your whole attitude change toward me. You’ve been smashing my husband? Is that his child you have over there?” Meesha was sickened at the thought. She looked back at Carlton and shot him a cold look of disdain.
“It’s not like what you might think. Carlton loves me and I love him. We can’t help that we fell in love. We were going to spend the rest of our lives together until you went and got yourself pregnant…again! Well, having another kid is not going to save your fake marriage, Meesha. You’re yesterday’s news and me and Carlton are going to raise our child together. You wait and see.”
“You’re one crazy heifer,” screamed Meesha. “Don’t you ever come anywhere near me or my family again or you’ll be sorry,” Meesha threw the phone as hard as she could across the room.
Carlton held his head with both hands as he walked back and forth. He was clearly shaken and didn’t know how he could have messed up so royally. Why couldn’t he see that Avery was unstable? He should have clearly seen it when she tried to commit suicide, but he was taken in by his own lust and now he was about to pay a price that his massive millions wouldn’t be able to come close to covering.
“Carlton! Carlton!” Meesha called.
Carlton bolted upright in the bed, a bead of sweat on his brow. He looked around confused and dazed by his surroundings with Meesha standing over him. He looked at her strangely, waiting on her to tell him to get out, but instead she said something that caused him to close his eyes, inhale, and then exhale slowly with relief.
“Honey, what is it? You were practically yelling in your sleep. Are you all right?”
Carlton continued to look around their bedroom. “Yea, yea I’m fine. I guess I was dreaming.”
“Sounded more like a nightmare rather than a dream,” Meesha said while she walked back to her side of the bed, climbed back into the bed, and got underneath the bedcovers.
“Makena all right?” Carlton asked.
“Yes, I fed and changed her. See, she’s sleeping like the beautiful little princess that she is,” Meesha said, pointing at the baby monitor.
Carlton looked at his sleeping beauty, smiled, and thought. Thank you, Lord.
Chapter 9
“Chance favors only those who court her.” Charles Nicolle
“You should know this won’t change anything between us,” Derek told Peyton after their steamy lovemaking. It was what we both needed but it can’t erase the past or present circumstances in our marriage, Peyton. Too much has happened that’s damaged us.” He lay next to her on his side of the bed, head resting on his hand. He turned to look at her. His emotions were all over the place. He didn’t want to give her false hope that making love would rectify all of their problems. Or was it himself that he was trying to convince? He always had a weak spot for Peyton, something he believed she knew and had taken advantage from the very first time they met. He was smitten by her beauty and her boldness. She exuded confidence and had a certain roughness about her that intrigued him. If there was a such thing as love at first sight, he felt it the moment he laid eyes on her. The little boy she introduced him to as her adopted son drew him to her even more. That little boy, Liam, was his heart. He longed for his own children, but even if he and Peyton had other children, it would not replace the love he had for Liam.
He listened as Peyton spoke. He could hear the hurt in her voice and inside he was sorry, but he was not going to retract his words.
“You made love to me only to tell me that nothing’s changed? How could you be so cruel, Derek? I can’t believe you would do something like this. What more do you want from me? How many times or ways can I tell you how sorry I am for everything I’ve done? Do you like seeing me suffer?” Peyton turned over in the bed away from Derek. “Just go, please. I don’t need your sympathy. Just leave,” she cried.
Derek arose from the bed and then paused and looked over his shoulder at his wife. He felt terrible for hurting her but he had his own heart to protect too. Women sometimes act like men can’t be hurt and that a man’s world is hard to shatter but Derek felt quite the opposite. He once loved Peyton with everything in him, but her words, her actions, and her drinking had stabbed his heart too many times to count and he refused to let himself be mortally wounded—again. Not by Peyton, not by anyone. His main concern now was raising Liam to be a good person and an even better man. He hadn’t exactly made up his mind about leaving Peyton, and that was something that she was right about…it wasn’t fair to her and he had to do something one way or the other.
As she stirred around the house the next morning, Peyton hoped that things with Derek would have had a different outcome after last night. To hear him tell her that nothing had changed caused another blow to her already delicate heart. She called for help to get downstairs and her personal assistant showed up in minutes and helped her to the staircase and the lift. Once downstairs, she rolled around, combing through every cabinet she could and every secret place she would normally have stashed liquor. She searched and searched but to no avail. There was not a drop of liquor in the house. She knew there wasn’t but she hoped that maybe, just maybe, a bottle had been accidentally left behind.
After growing more frustrated, Peyton called Meesha. She needed to talk to someone before she called the package store and had vodka delivered to the house, and she didn’t want it to
be her counselor. She needed to hear the voice of a friend, a real friend. At the end of the day, Meesha was the one she trusted the most. Meesha would give her the best advice, listen to her without talking down at her, and sincerely lift her up in prayer. Peyton felt she needed prayer at this moment.
A still small voice told her not to call the package store. She had come too far. Her counselor would have told her that she had to be strong and learn how to face the disappointments, setbacks, and problems of life without turning to alcohol.
“Hey. Peyton. What’s going on, girl?”
“I want a drink so bad, Meesha.”
“Peyton, calm down. You can get through this. Did anything happen that has you wanting to jeopardize all you have accomplished for almost a year?”
“I thought Derek and I had turned a corner and had a chance at rekindling our marriage. I was wrong. I don’t know how to deal with this.” She swallowed hard and bit back tears.
“Wait, hold up. Slow down. Tell me what happened.”
“Last night was magical between me and Derek. We made love for the first time in ages. He hadn’t touched me like that, well in months, Meesha. Then afterward he turns around and tells me that it didn’t change anything between us. I mean, how could he do that to me? How could he say that? And why would he even go there if he knew it meant nothing to him. That was just mean and cruel. I’m so tired of being used. I need a drink. Just one tiny drink to calm my nerves.” She yielded to the tears that slowly found their way down her cheeks.
“Listen to me, Peyton. First of all, you do not need a drink. You can do this. As for Derek, that was wrong of him, but knowing Derek the way I do, and you should be able to vouch for this too, you know he is not the kind of guy that would do or say anything to intentionally hurt you. If the two of you made love it’s because he wanted you, desired you. I mean put yourself in his shoes. He’s been hurt by you just as much, if not more than, you’ve been hurt by him. He’s probably afraid to put his whole heart out there and then you stomp on it again. I’m just being for real. I’m not going to tell you what you want to hear. I’m going to tell you the truth.”
Peyton cried softly into the phone, but she listened to Meesha’s every word. Maybe that’s why God had placed Meesha into her spirit to call. She needed to hear the truth.
“Are you there?” Meesha asked after an extended silence over the phone.
“Yeah, I’m here. I was listening to what you said. It hurts so bad though, Meesha. I mean, everything was perfect last night. I just thought—”
“Look, now is not the time to go back to your old ways of coping with your disappointments by drinking. That would be proving Derek right. The man doesn’t know if he can trust you just yet, Peyton. At the least sign of trouble you want to go back to drinking? No way. Get yourself together, girl. You’re bigger and better than that. God has brought you too far for you to give it up all in a matter of minutes by trading it in for a drink.”
“You’re right; I could be dead,” Peyton said, still crying. She looked around to make sure no one was around. She pushed the wheelchair button with her free hand and rolled up the long winding hallway until she got to their home study. She leaned over a bit to open the door and then pushed the button and rolled inside, closing the door behind her.
She rolled over to the huge picture window that displayed their beautiful garden. It was a peaceful spring day. The sun was beaming. She saw several birds flitting around the garden and even a few butterflies. Her tears continued and she used one hand to wipe her eyes before rolling over to the desk and opening one of the drawers to retrieve a box of tissue.
“Are you listening to me?” Meesha asked, concerned about her friend. Peyton could be brass, tacky, gossipy, and sometimes inconsiderate of others’ feelings, but she was also a sensitive person who wore her heart on her sleeves. She felt bad that things hadn’t turned out exactly as Peyton had hoped, but Peyton had to face the fact that she had hurt Derek, Liam, and well, no telling how many other people with her I don’t care about anyone but Peyton attitude. She had her own money well before she met Derek, and she and her family had been instrumental in helping him rise to the top, but being the genius Derek was, when he sold his social media APP a few years after meeting Peyton, he made millions. He didn’t need to work at Adverse City General Bank, he wanted to work there. He was the president of the company because he was a brilliant man. Yet, Peyton had belittled him all throughout their marriage. Sad to say, Meesha surmised that some of what Peyton was going through was payback. Yet, she didn’t want to be the one to judge anyone. She left that up to God. She had her own secret demons, and could very easily be judged if others knew about her shameful past.
“Look, where are you? Are you in your bedroom? Are you alone in the house?”
“No, I’m downstairs in the study. Derek is gone to the office and Liam has already left for school. The housekeeper should be here and Beth, my personal assistant, is here. She’s probably in the family room or kitchen. I’m sure the chef is here, too.”
“Well, I want to say a prayer with you. Okay?” Meesha offered.
“Okay,” Peyton cried.
“First, I want to tell you to let the tears fall. It’s nothing wrong with crying. It’s nothing wrong with that at all. Just know God sees you and he knows your pain and your situation. He has everything under his control, and I believe everything will work out for your good, but you have to be strong, Peyton. You have to fight against the enemy. He doesn’t want you to be free from your addiction. He wants to keep you bound, but you have to take a stand against it. Do you hear me?”
“Yes, I hear you. I’m glad I called you, Meesha.”
“I’m glad you called me, too. Now, let’s pray about this.” Meesha said a prayer over the phone. While she was praying she could still hear Peyton’s whimpering, and her heart ached for her as she petitioned God for Peyton’s healing mentally, physically and spiritually. She loved Peyton, Eva, and Avery. They had been her friends for a very long time. As she cried out to God on Peyton’s behalf, she shed a tear too. “Amen,” said Meesha and ended the prayer.
“Amen,” Peyton said. “Thank you, Meesha. You’re such a dear friend.”
“You are going to be fine. You should feel good. Instead of calling the liquor store you called me. That’s a huge step in the right direction. Give yourself some props for that. There was a time, and not too long ago, that you and I both know the choice you would have made. So you see, Peyton, you are growing. You’re conquering this addiction one moment, one day at a time. I love you, girl.”
“I love you too. Thank you sooo much. I don’t know what I would have done. Oh, well, yes, I do. I would have done the unthinkable, thrown away every day that I’ve been sober all because things didn’t go my way. I can’t do that. I can’t be so weak.”
“You’re definitely not weak, Peyton. Don’t even go there. Applaud yourself. Celebrate yourself for making a wise choice. Rather than calling the package store, you called me. Praise God!”
Peyton heard Makena start crying. “Oh, well, I guess that’s our cue. Sounds like Miss Makena wants some Mommy time,” Peyton said, smiling instead of crying into the phone.
“Yep, it’s about that time. She’s ready to eat.” Meesha laughed. “I’m glad you called, Peyton. Call me anytime you need to talk. Okay?”
“Okay, bye, Meesha.”
Peyton remained sitting in front of the window for the next hour, staring out at the magnificence of the garden and the soft blue skies. She loved living in Adverse City. It was a fairy tale place. A place of luxury and splendor--the perfect place for her.
Thinking back on last night, she made a promise to herself. She was going to do everything she could to show Derek that she had changed. She was grateful for Meesha. She had helped to put things in perspective. Like the twelve step program that her counselor often referred to, Peyton had to ask for forgiveness to those she’d wronged and begin to live a different kind of life as a sober
person. It was time for her to put her faith into action. She had no intent of becoming a religious zealot, but she did intend to pray more, seek God more, and treat people better, starting with Derek, Liam, and her friends.
Two sparrows came and perched on the ledge outside of the window. Peyton smiled. “I can do this. You’re going to love me again, Derek Hudson.”
Chapter 10
“Sometimes it's our secrets that define us.” Britney Spears
Meesha looked down on Makena as the little girl nursed. She felt blessed to have such beautiful and precious children. Having a little girl was the icing on the cake and she was more than satisfied with the blessings God had chosen to bestow upon her and Carlton.
While Makena nursed, Meesha’s thought transitioned from the present to her sordid past and the secret she bore—the one nobody but her and God knew about. Most times she could suppress the memories because of her active life. The children, her husband, her role at the Academy, and her friends, left her little time to think about the horrific deed she’d done. However, today was one of those days when it reared its ugly head. It was raining outside, the clouds were overcast, and it must have given the enemy the opening it needed to occupy her mind by bringing to the forefront that terrible night.
She was fourteen years old when she met and fell in love with Terrell Barnes. She and her family lived in Memphis, Tennessee at the time. Terrell was a junior in college from Virginia Beach, attending the University of Memphis and majoring in computer science. Yes, he was much older and a relationship like there’s was forbidden. If her parents ever found out that she was seeing a boy in college, they would flip out. At that time Meesha didn’t care. She was willing to take the chance because she loved Terrell, and she believed he loved her too because he told her that he did.
Terrell was her first boyfriend. No one paid much attention to her at school. She had lots of friends, but boys didn’t seem to be attracted to her like they were attracted to her girlfriends. She didn’t reason that she was only fourteen years old and she had plenty of time for boys.
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