Love on the Ledge

by Zoraida Cordova

  Hayden undoes the button and fly of his jeans.

  I pull my panties down, wiggle my hips. I take two steps forward, leaving my clothes behind. He reaches for me, but I wave my finger at him. I take courage from the lust in his eyes. I watch him watch me massage my clit.

  “Come here,” he tells me.

  “Make me.”

  He’s up in a shot. It makes my breath catch. He hoists me up in the air. I wrap my legs around his waist. His dick curls upward. He slides it up and down between my wetness. The tip presses into me and I gasp. I dig my nails into his back to hold on. He pulls back.

  “God, you’re so tight.”

  I yelp when he lifts me higher on the wall. He drives me crazy with the way he bites my neck and moans in my ear.

  “Hayden, I need you.”

  “I need you.”

  “Get inside me.”

  He thrusts his pelvis up. He catches my scream with his lips. It’s kind of nice trying to be quiet when all I want to do is shout. I feel his head inside of me. He slides in slowly, achingly, making room for the rest of him. It hurts a little, in the most delicious kind of way.

  “Baby,” he whispers. “Baby, you feel so good.”

  He pulls me away from the wall and throws me onto the bed, never pulling out. His hands pin mine over my head. I open up wider and he picks up his speed. He’s so slick that he slides out once. For a moment, Hayden disappears. He pulls out, leaving me sprawled on the bed.

  “Hayden?”

  His hands grab my thighs, and then that mouth, that beautiful mouth of his covers my pussy. It’s just a tease, because he returns, climbing on top of me.

  “I couldn’t help myself. I needed to taste you again.”

  He kisses me, lifting a leg over his shoulder. His dick slides back in, and this time he drives it in as far as possible. He kisses away the pain with his lips, and in this moment, I’ve never wanted someone more in my whole life. It swirls inside me and tightens in the pit of my stomach.

  “Look at me, baby.” His eyes are so blue. “I love you, Sky.”

  I answer him with a kiss. In that kiss I want to convey all the love I have for him. It comes in a rush, like the last few weeks. I hold onto it. “I’m coming.”

  My insides pulse around his length. He chuckles against my ear. “I know, baby. Come for me.”

  He thrusts into me until the ripple of my orgasm makes me crash. I press him deeper into me by pressing my feet on his ass.

  When Hayden comes, he shuts his eyes. Even without looking, he finds my lips. We’re sweaty and wet and exhausted. But for the first time in a long time, it feels so, so good.

  Chapter 39

  Hayden leaves in the middle of the night.

  I wake up to a note that says. “See you at rehearsal, Love.”

  My mom might be warming up to him, but seeing Hayden walk out of my bedroom in the morning with a post-coital smile plastered all over his face won’t do us any favors.

  While I brush my teeth, River comes in and sits on the toilet.

  “I happened to wake up this morning,” she says, “and saw an extremely shirtless Hayden sneaking out the house. He’s not much for covert missions. Does he ever wear a shirt?”

  I rinse and spit. “He does! But it doesn’t stay on for very long.”

  “I take it you’ve made up.”

  “We made up and a half.”

  “Good for you, babe. Get yours.”

  I set my brush back in the cup holder and sit on the bathtub ledge. “What’s up?”

  She holds onto the sides of the toilet, looks down at her lap. “I need your help.”

  I brace for the Thing that River’s been holding back since she got here.

  She licks her lips. In the white bathroom light she looks like a broken doll. Her curls hang tangled and her lips are dry.

  “I fucked up,” she says. Her foot starts to tremble. I place my hand on her knee to make it stop. “It’s Will.”

  “River,” I say. “Did you pay him?”

  “I tried. I went to Smitty’s. They wouldn’t cash my chips.”

  “Why not?”

  “I kind of told the dealer to go fuck his mother the last time I was there. Anyway, Mad let me play again, and I won back the three hundred, but Will wouldn’t take it. He said ‘this one’s on the house.’ Sky, what if he kills me?”

  “He’s not going to hurt you, River.”

  “I have to go. I don’t know where, but I have to go.”

  Outside the bathroom Elena and Maria are fighting over a hairdryer. Pepe is knocking on doors to make sure everyone remembers to dress properly tonight because there will be pictures. No one knows what’s going on in here, what’s going on with River. It’s like day and night.

  “Does he know where you’re staying?”

  “I don’t think so. But it’s a small town. Not hard to figure out.”

  I’m concerned that River will never be able to stop gambling. More than that, that she’ll meet someone worse than Will. I’ve been scared for River since the day she put a cherry bomb in Frankie Morales’s mailbox because he touched my boobs in gym.

  “No one’s going to come for you.”

  “I found this thing.” She tucks her hair back. “It’s a rehab center in West Bumblefuck, Montana. I still haven’t touched the money from my dad’s life insurance…”

  I choke laugh. When did I stop noticing that River was so lost? “I’m sorry, Riv. I’ve been so wrapped up in my shit that I haven’t been taking care of you.”

  River takes my hands in her. “That was never your job.”

  “I know. But you’re my sister.”

  “Besides, everyone knows I’m the fist, Leti’s the fury, and you’re the heart.”

  I pull her into a hug. I can feel her tremble, like a deep cold has reached down to her bones.

  “I’m going to talk to Hayden. He seems to know everyone around here. Maybe he can help get Will off your back.”

  “I tell you all the time not to be an idiot,” she says. “I just haven’t figured how to follow my own advice.”

  I grab her face and kiss her forehead. “Everything is going to be fine.”

  She tries to smile. “I’ve missed your optimism.”

  I leave her to shower. I tell myself that everything is going to be okay. River has always taken care of herself. She lets us in when she’s afraid, but doesn’t always accept help. It’s the first time she’s sought out help like this. I can’t shake the feeling that she isn’t asking for help, she’s preparing to run.

  Chapter 40

  For the rehearsal dinner, I light long white taper candles all over the dining room. We add two more tables to accommodate the whole family. Pepe keeps fiddling with his three-piece suit while Tony tries to speak Spanish to our great-aunt Victoria. Tony’s family is smaller than ours. He’s got a couple of cousins who’ll show up tomorrow, but that’s about it.

  “Check this mix,” Yunior says. “I’ve been working on some stuff with my friends.”

  It’s a mix of some old school songs and techno. “Is this what they teach you at business school?”

  He puts his finger to his lips. “Don’t let my mom hear you. She’d go crazy if she knew I was doing something other than homework.”

  “Some things never change,” I say, promising to keep his secret.

  Yunior proclaims himself the DJ for tonight and hooks up his iPod to the stereo. I remind him that Pitbull isn’t exactly dinner music, but he acts like he can’t hear me.

  James and Lucky arrive at the same time as Hayden. James and Hayden both wear their “I’m not trying but I still look good” button downs and jeans. Lucky opts for dress shorts and a navy blue tunic.

  “I’ll wear a dress tomorrow, I swear,” she says.

  “You guys look great.” I’m already looking past them and at Hayden. I think about being with him last night and get excited. He holds my arms out and looks me up and down, leaning in close so that only I can hear him.<
br />
  “I miss the white lace.”

  I can feel myself blush. “Can I trust you to behave yourself?”

  “Don’t worry about me. I make friends quickly.”

  I leave him to shoot the shit with my cousins and James. River and Lucky are naturally drawn to each other. Lucky’s done her fair share of traveling, so River picks her brain. An alarm goes off in my head, but then Daisy and two of the other kids run into the table with all the glassware. When a dozen glasses come crashing to the ground, my mom shoos the kids away to their designated table and helps me get a box of new ones.

  “You’ve got enough here to start your own restaurant,” James tells Pepe.

  Pepe smiles widely. “I just wanted to be prepared.”

  “Steven,” I yell. “Where’s the box of champagne?”

  He pulls one headphone out of his ear.

  “I know you heard me,” I tell him.

  He rolls his eyes and goes to do as I ask.

  Leti rounds the kitchen corner with a bottle of wine in her hand.

  “What are you doing?” I ask.

  She shrugs. “This one’s mine.”

  I pull the bottle from her and pour myself a glass. “So far only a few glasses are shattered.”

  “Stop expecting the worst.”

  “Have you met us?”

  She smiles, and the light catches the star on her canine. “Have you talked to River?”

  I nod and drink my champagne. “She’ll be fine.”

  “I looked up the place in Montana. They have horses. It’s a sixty day program.”

  “When is she going?”

  “She didn’t say. I feel like I should go with her. Like drive her there.”

  Leti shakes her head. “I wish I could. I’m going to be in Puerto Rico next week.”

  “What the hell are you going over there for?”

  She winks. “Gary invited me.”

  I clink my glass to hers. From here, we watch our family sit down and drink. Las Viejas made trays of empanadas and fried shrimp for appetizers. Tony chats with one of his cousins, his hand wrapped around Pepe. Pepe takes long sips from his drink. Maria is staring at her nails, still bitter she wasn’t asked to be a bridesmaid. My mom stacks five empanadas on Hayden’s plate. River throws her head back and laughs at something Lucky says.

  “You did it, kid,” Leti tells me.

  “The wedding’s tomorrow,” I remind her.

  “Give yourself a break.” She pushes me out of the kitchen and into the dining room. “Sky’s going to make a speech!”

  There’s no sense being angry with her, even for a minute. Sure, I don’t like speaking in public, but I love Pepe and Tony, and if I’ve learned anything these last few weeks is that when you love someone you have to tell them. Even if you think they already know. “I love you” are the most beautiful words you can say to someone when you truly mean them.

  “I had my doubts at the beginning of the summer,” I said. “Not about the wedding, but that you could fit the entire family in a house and everyone would survive.”

  Aunt Cecy raises her glass. “Todavia es temprano, eh!” The night’s still young.

  “As the maid of honor, I really wanted to do a great job. When I was a little girl, Pepe was the one who helped me do my homework. He helped me fix my hair when someone decided to give me bangs.”

  “Me too!” Leti shouts.

  “That’s because you were the one doing the cutting, Leti.” Everyone laughs, which gives me a little confidence. “You know, my Ma was a hard worker. She had two jobs and never complained that she didn’t have any sleep. She’s the strongest woman I know, but even a superwoman needs a little help. That’s always where Pepe came in.”

  I turn to him and lift my glass. “Pepe, you’ve been more than an uncle to me. You’re my father, my brother, and my best friend. Watching you and Uncle Tony finally be able to get married is a dream. Tony, you’ve changed our lives by making Pepe so happy. From you, we can learn that love is truly unexpected. You guys are my best example of a happily-ever-after. To Pepe and Tony.”

  “To Pepe and Tony,” every cheers.

  Pepe takes his napkin and dabs at the corners of his eyes.

  Tony stands. “Thank you all for coming and being part of our, well, wedding month, really. Sky, you’ve been fantastic at everything you’ve done. Thank you for brining James and Lucky and Hayden into our lives.”

  Hayden squeezes my hand under the table.

  “It’s a fantastic feeling,” Tony says, “to find the person you belong with out of all the people on this planet. It only took me fifty years and a lot of missed lunches, but Pepe, my love, I can’t to wait to share my life with you forever.”

  We cheers again, and clink our forks against glasses until they kiss.

  • • •

  For hours we eat and drink and drink and eat.

  Then, we just drink. The party spills out to the backyard, even though Pepe threatens murder on anyone who messes up the wedding setup.

  The grooms are sleeping in separate rooms. Pepe in the pool house and Tony in the regular house. You know, because they want to be traditional or something.

  River strips down to her bikini and grabs one of the pool beds for herself. It comes with a cup holder for her champagne. Daisy and the younger kids cannonball on the other end. It’s like everyone has taken to the romance of the night. The gazebo is lit, and the lights around the pool are set to change colors. I watch the blue fade to purple to pink to red and then start over.

  Pepe rushes past us in a hurry.

  “Hey!” I call after him. He turns around in a flurry.

  “Hey, bebé.” He twists his fingers the way he does moments before his runway shows. “I’m turning in. I have a champagne headache.”

  “Yeah, tomorrow’s not a good day to be hungover,” I say. “Not that anyone’s going to listen to me.”

  He looks from me to Hayden, then back to me. Pepe pulls me into a bone-crushing hug. I can feel his heart race.

  “Are you okay?”

  He nods. “You know that I love you, right?”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “You know that no matter what happens I’ll always be here for you. And Leti and River. All of you. You’re my babies.”

  I smooth his cheek with my hand. “I know. Go get some sleep. I’ll wake you up for breakfast.”

  He kisses my cheek and goes off into the pool house. The lights are off in minutes.

  “So,” Hayden says, cozying up to my pool chair. “How hard would it be to get you all to myself?”

  I tap my finger on my chin. “Hmmm. Very hard.”

  He leans into my ear, his breath tickling my skin. “I want to taste you right now.”

  His hand slides up my dress and squeezes my thigh. Yunior walks by just then and says, “I see that.”

  Hayden waves at him. “Hey, how’s it going?”

  I sigh. “I think we’re going to have to wait till all the kids are asleep.”

  Hayden turns my face to his with his finger. “I’ll wait as long as I have to.”

  Chapter 41

  When most of the family has gone to sleep, with the exception of a handful who think they’re in the swimming portion of the Olympics, I nudge Hayden to meet me in my room.

  Leti purrs in my direction. She splashes some water at me.

  “There had better not be any puke in the pool when I wake up,” I warn her.

  “I promise, Mommy Dearest.”

  “I love you!” River shouts from her pool bed.

  In my room, Hayden is sprawled on my bed totally naked and erect. He smiles with his arms behind his head. I slink to the bed and crawl onto the mattress. I rake my nails up his thick, muscular legs. In this position, in this light, he looks like a bronze sculpture. He’s a god holding the weight of the world. I never want to see him dressed again.

  “You’re all ready for me,” I say, positioning myself between his legs. I let my hands wander up and do
wn his abdomen without touching his dick once.

  I lick it once from the shaft to the tip, loving the way it jerks in my direction.

  “Aw, baby, you’re killing me.”

  “You said you’d wait as long as you have to.”

  He whimpers. I know I’m being a little mean, but I want to savor this moment. I’ve imagined this while I watched him working shirtless. Me getting on my knees and pulling down his pants. But this is different. Hayden is on my bed like my own personal buffet.

  I grab the base of his shaft and cover the head with my mouth. I lick it in slow circles, over and over until a bead of pre cum bubbles to the surface. He arches his back, shoving his dick further into my mouth. I pull back and gasp, moving my hand up and down.

  He reaches for my face, traces a thumb across my wet lips. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

  I give him a squeeze, then take him into my mouth again. Going down on Hayden is an entirely new sensation to me. I love the way his skin feels on my tongue. The way it gets thicker and harder every time I lick him. The way his legs tremble as I pick up my speed and add quick flicks of my tongue on the underside of his pink head. It’s like the start of an earthquake the way he shakes, pushes up his pelvis, grabs onto my hair and pulls.

  I’ll never get tired of hearing Hayden say my name.

  “I’m going to come,” he warns me. Gives me a chance to move out of the way.

  I shake my head. I let my moan vibrate against his head as his warmth fills my mouth.

  “I love you,” he says between shallow breaths. “I love you, Sky.”

  I swallow and place a wet kiss on his exhausted dick. “Look, it’s going back to sleep.”

  Hayden chuckles. “Not while you’re around.”

  “It’s hot as hell in here.” I get up to open the balcony doors. No one can see into the room, thankfully. Everyone’s deserted the pool except River, who smokes on one of the beach chairs, Leti, who’s asleep with a champagne glass in hand, and an unidentified cousin passed out in a bed of tulips.

  Before I return back to my delicious man, I notice something weird. The light of the pool house is on. Pepe should be sleeping.