“I think I should go to talk to my uncle,” I tell Hayden. “What kind of maid of honor would I be if I let him stew in his nerves?”
Hayden stands and wraps his arms around me. His sweet sweat is intoxicating. I lick the skin on his chest and promise to return.
Before I run downstairs, I run into the bathroom to rinse with mouthwash and spray some perfume. Pepe might be cool like my brother, but I can’t just show up reeking of oral sex.
“Hey,” River says. “Done moaning and groaning?”
“Shut up. I’m going to check on Pepe.”
“I’m sure he’s fine. He’s probably steaming his suit for the ten thousandth time.”
Still, something isn’t sitting right with me, and not just because I swallowed…well…
I go to knock on the pool house door but it’s slightly ajar. I turn to go back. Maybe he and Tony are in there getting it on before the wedding. But when all I hear is crickets, I decide to go in. Everything is spotless. The bed is made. The tux is hung. There’s a full glass of water on Pepe’s work desk along with a piece of paper and an uncapped marker.
I’M SORRY.
There’s the beginning of another word. I—something. But the marker bleeds, like he kept it pressed to the paper and then never finished. My heart thunders in my chest. I ball the paper up and run outside.
“River,” I whisper shout. She’s so startled she slips off her inflatable bed and splashes into the pool. Leti starts awake.
“What?”
River spits water as she swims to the edge of the pool. “What the actual fuck?”
I bend down and try to whisper with as much panic as possible. “Pepe’s gone.”
“No!” Leti shouts and River slaps a hand over her mouth.
“No one can know.” I show them the piece of paper.
“I can’t believe it.” River rips it up into little pieces and lights it in the ashtray. I watch it go up in flame, then ash, then tendrils of smoke twisting in the air.
“Come on,” I say. “We have to go find him.”
Chapter 42
“Are you sure he’s gone?” Hayden gets dressed as soon as he sees my face when I return.
“I just peeked into Tony’s room. He’s knocked out.”
“Where do you think he went?”
“I don’t know, but not far. All the cars are still out front.”
“We’ll take mine.”
“No. I don’t want anyone to wake up if they hear an engine. River and Leti are already downstairs.”
I don’t wait for him to follow me, I just know that I have to get Pepe back here before sunrise. As quietly as we can, we’re out the door.
“Split up,” I say. “You two go right and we’ll go left.”
We take off like racehorses. The roads are pitch-black, and nearly every house we pass is quiet. There aren’t many streetlights, so I shine the flashlight in my phone. It isn’t much, but at least we won’t get run over.
“Oh God,” I say, panicked. “What if he gets run over? What if I don’t find him?”
“We’ll find him,” Hayden says. “Here, make this right. This is the way to the beach.”
“I can’t believe he did this.” Suddenly, I start to cry. I don’t like when people see me cry, so I’m glad for the cover of night. “I wanted them to be the couple that made it, you know? I guess that’s pretty selfish.”
“That’s not selfish at all.” He grabs me and pulls me into a hug. Something digs into my back. He holds up the box with the wooden cake toppers. “Oh, sorry. I just thought this might help.”
After a few minutes of empty road, I shine a light on a blazer. I want to scream at the thought that he might be run over. Hayden picks it up and I break into a jog. My chest hurts and my feet are throbbing. There’s his tie. I run fast. Up where the road becomes a hill is Pepe.
He’s trying to unbutton his shirt. I can hear him crying as I approach. He jumps when I touch him.
“It’s me,” I say. “It’s Sky.”
He bats his hands in front of his face and shakes his head. Crystal tears run down his face. He can’t breathe.
“Look at me,” I tell him, forcing him to focus his eyes on me. “Pepe, look at me please.”
He gulps the air around him and nods.
“I need you to breathe.” I stand beside him and rub circles on his back. “A little at a time, okay? I’m right here.”
Slowly, he inhales.
“You’re doing great. Take your time.”
I put my hand out, silently asking Hayden to hang back. The last thing he needs is another surprise.
“Come, sit.”
On the sidewalk filled with gravel and sand, Pepe sits in his favorite suit. His breaths are long and steady now.
“I’m sorry.”
I rub his back. “What happened?”
“I just—” He starts to cry again. “I just was lying there thinking about everything that was said. I love Tony, so, so much that it physically hurts me to think about something going wrong. My dad walked out on us when we were kids. Your dad. Maria’s dad. We’re a family that gets left, Sky. What if Tony leaves me?”
“He’s won’t.” It’s something I don’t have the authority to promise, but I have to believe in this.
“Maybe not like that, but what if he dies? What if something happens to him and I can’t help him? What if I do something wrong? What if it doesn’t end like I thought it would? What if loving someone isn’t enough to make it work?”
A car drives by on the opposite side of the road. I wonder where River and Leti are right about now. I wonder if anyone in the house has noticed that we’re gone.
“You never left,” I tell him.
He looks up at me with swollen dark eyes.
“You never left me. I didn’t leave you. The people that left us, they weren’t family. I know that you’re scared of being hurt, but isn’t that the whole point of getting married? You’re literally trusting another person not to break your heart, like, forever.”
His laugh is snotty and wet, but at least he laughs. “I’m afraid, nena.”
“You told me that I had to do what makes me happy. Does Tony make you happy?”
“Yes,” he says without hesitation.
“Then forget about the things that you can’t control. All you have to worry about is walking down that aisle and looking at the man you love and starting your life together. The only thing that should stop you from getting married tomorrow is if you don’t want to.”
“I do want to,” he cries.
“Then, as River likes to tell me, stop being an idiot.”
“Oh, nena.” He hugs me. “I’m so thankful you found me when you did. I just lost it.”
Hayden clears his throat. Pepe jumps and scrambles to his feet.
“It’s just Hayden,” I say.
Pepe rubs his face with his hands. “Oh, God. No. I’m so embarrassed.”
“I guess it’s not a good time to tell you that Leti and River are out looking for you, too? That’s it though, I promise.”
“We were going to wait till tomorrow,” Hayden tells him. “But I figured you might want to see this now to clear your head.”
Pepe takes the wooden box and opens it slowly. I shine the phone light so he can get a good look at it. He covers his mouth and starts to cry again.
Hayden looks panicked. “I’m sorry if you don’t like it. You don’t have to use them.”
“No, no!” He shuts the box and presses it against his chest. “They’re beautiful. They’re us.”
Chapter 43
The wedding orchestra lulls the wedding guests to sit. The orchestra was Tony’s surprise gift to Pepe.
A tall, slender pianist, a blonde with a harp, and a short violinist who reminds me of Captain Jack Sparrow start to play a Beatles medley.
Two hundred plus guests are lined up in neat rows, waiting for the wedding party to walk past the pool, down the cobblestone path, and to the lit gazebo. If
I crane my head, I can see the back of Hayden’s head sitting beside Lucky and James. I clutch my bouquet and breathe in the sweet smell of roses.
“Don’t you feel a little funny wearing white?” Steve asks.
I turn and quiet him with a snarl.
Behind me, Leti fidgets with the buttons on the back of her dress. “Something’s itching me.”
“Maybe you got crabs,” Yunior says.
The terrible thing about having your cousins as wedding partners is hearing their endless commentary. The best thing about it is having your cousins there.
“That’s not where you get crabs, you idiot,” she says, slapping him in the gut.
Behind them there’s even more snickering. I turn around. “Will you all shut up for once?”
I take Steve’s arm when the band slows down their instruments and start the beginning of Led Zepplin’s “All of My Love.”
“I picked this,” River whispers from the back.
“Thank you dear,” I hear Tony say.
As I walk down the aisle, bracing my smile for pictures, I let myself sigh with relief. I even smile at Xandro, who’s brought a date who could be on the cover of Maxim. Good for you, bro.
I take the first few steps to the open gazebo. I have to admire the way Hayden designed it with the wedding party in mind. I smile at the minister, take my place on the tier, and watch the rest of the party file in. Leti is Leti, and waves like she’s in the middle of a ticker-tape parade. Junior throws up a peace sign, which the photographer takes twenty photos of. River gives me her naturally mischievous smile and lets go of her partner’s arm as soon as possible. She got stuck with Uncle Tony’s cousin who smells like garlic. Then there’s Elena and Juliet, who take selfies as they go down the aisle.
“Jesus,” I sigh, drawing the officiate’s ire.
The harpist sets her instrument to the side and pulls out a ukulele. Someone in the crowd giggles. She starts off Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's “Over the Rainbow” with a quick strum. Then Captain Jack joins in on the violin, swaying to the beat. Tony starts his procession on the arm of his cousin Isabella. He holds his head up high as the music swells. His smile is so wide that I know if I did one thing well this summer, it was helping save my Uncle Pepe from making the biggest mistake of his life.
Tony kisses my cheek and takes his place at the altar.
Pepe starts to walk down the aisle with my mother giving him away. When I look at them, I realize that I might not have grown up with a traditional mother and father, but they were still pretty perfect. My mom’s dress is a beautiful salmon color that compliments her dark skin. They both have the same dark eyes and full lips. The same wide smiles. My mom kisses Tony on both cheeks and takes a seat in the front row.
As he gets up on the altar, Pepe grabs my hand, and I give it a squeeze of encouragement.
Then they face each other, and say their “I Do’s.”
• • •
After the ceremony comes the dancing. The bottles of champagne that overflow like fountains. My cousins fawn over the fashion models who have come for Pepe. Las Viejas tut tut at the tiny summer dresses that they don’t approve of for a wedding. Because now’s the time to be conservative.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” a familiar voice says over the mic. Yunior is standing at the DJ tent. He’s got giant headphones with customized, bedazzled Y’s on each ear. I look over at Leti. I guess she knew Yunior’s secret way before I did. “Can I have your attention please? We are going to welcome the illest couple this side of New York for their first dance as husband and wife.”
The record skips, and Yunior hits the mic. “My bad.”
Pepe and Tony shake their heads in his direction. Nothing like family.
“I’m going to kill him,” I say, starting to march off to the DJ tent, but Hayden pulls me back.
“Easy, tiger,” River says. She takes a comfortable seat where she can smoke without people complaining.
Tony and Pepe start to dance to “You Are So Beautiful.” One by one, everyone starts dancing. Hayden pulls me into his big, strong arms, and we sway to ballads, salsas, merengues, and hip hop songs. I don’t notice the sunset until the backyard comes alive with lights.
“Sky,” Hayden says, pulling back to inspect me. I’ve gone rigid. “What’s wrong?”
Slowly, all the guests turn to the gazebo, where a fire has started. Everyone starts to scream.
“Fire!” they shout.
Hayden’s already on his phone calling 911. Tony runs inside the house for a fire extinguisher. Leti dives for the garden hose, but gets tangled up and falls in the pool. Some of my cousins are behind the gazebo, too scared to walk around the fire.
“Sky, come back!”
I run to the gazebo where the kids are and usher them to safety.
“Everyone get back!” I shout. Then I go back to make sure I didn’t miss anyone.
The hair on my back prickles like someone’s standing behind me. I whip around, but there’s no one there. I turn to run back to the front of the house, but I trip on something. A bottle of lighter fluid.
I was right. There’s someone behind me. I see him running into the woods, but I don’t see anything but a bald head and a beard.
Hands grab me from the back and I scream.
“It’s me!” Hayden says. “Baby, it’s me.”
He pulls me back as half a dozen firemen spray the gazebo. By the time it’s done it’s nothing but splinters and a pile of ash. Luckily, nothing else was damaged.
I look at the shocked faces of the weddings guests, but I don’t see her. Hayden tries to hold me back, but I pull away. There’s no time to explain. I run to the front of the house. There’s an empty spot in the driveway. River’s car is gone.
River is gone.
Chapter 44
I tell the police what I saw—a bald man running through the woods. They take the bottle of lighter fluid, but don’t promise much. I don’t tell them that River was here. I don’t tell them that he was looking for her. I don’t even know when she left, but I hope that she’s long gone right now.
Because nothing else was ruined, Tony and Pepe keep the party going. The only way to face something terrible is with a celebration. Pepe did say he wanted to give everyone a wedding to talk about, and even a little fire hasn’t dampened the drunken happiness in the air.
I wrap my arms around Hayden’s waist. “I’m sorry your masterpiece went up in flames.”
He shakes his head. “This? My masterpiece has yet to come, baby.”
He rubs my hands, pulling me into a deep kiss. I take a minute to go into my room to change. My phone is in my charger. I have three messages from Bradley. With all the things that have happened, he’s the last thing I need. I hit delete.
There’s one from River. It’s time-stamped way before the fire. It says, Going rogue.
I want to tell her about what happened, but she needs a clean slate. So all I say is, I love you. When I go back downstairs, I hug my mother. I hug Tony and Pepe. I even hug Maria.
I take Hayden to the middle of the buzzing dance floor. The smell of backyard torches mingles with the charred smell of the wood, but no one seems to mind.
“This one goes out to my favorite cousin, Sky,” Yunior says and starts playing the Talking Heads’s “Burning Down the House.”
I give him a thumbs up. My grandma twirls with Pepe’s assistant, Vera, and Lucky pulls James away from the buffet to the dance floor. Leti screams when she realizes the star on her tooth fell out during the commotion, though I suspect Gary might’ve swallowed it.
“I love you,” I tell him. The words feel true, and I want to say them over and over again.
“Does that mean you’re staying?” Hayden picks me up and spins me in the air. My belly fills with that fluttering of new love.
I haven’t made a decision. Not quite yet. I know that I want to go back to school, and I’ve blown my chances at the fall semester. But there’s going to be the spring. I know I want to he
lp girls like me, like River, like my cousins. I want to let them know that they’re going to be okay.
Being a nurse has changed my life, even if it wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life. I know how to dress cuts, and I’ve delivered babies into this world as many times as I’ve patched up bullet wounds. I’ve become more interested in the wounds that people can’t see.
“Yes and no,” I tell him. “I was thinking of taking a trip. Maybe Greece, and then who knows? My passport is sadly stamp-less.”
He crosses his fingers with mine. “Oh.”
“Come with me?”
He kisses me. “Good thing you asked. I was already trying to come up with ways to fit myself in your suitcase. I love you, Sky.”
I hold him tightly. I’m not sure where we’ll end up, but a kiss is a good place to start.
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Acknowledgments
This book is very close to my heart. I wanted to write about a girl who had a very crazy, but very loving family just like me. Thank you to my family who supports me in this crazy journey to follow my dream. Mom, Joe, Mami Aleja, Danny, and the usual suspects.
Thank you to the Robcos for inspiring Tony and Pepe’s wedding. I took a few liberties with the characters, but their essence is all you. You are the one couple that makes me believe in True Love.
Adrienne Rosado, the Little Mongoose that Could. Laura Duane, Sarah Masterson Hally, Brielle Benton, Hannah Black, and the wonderful team at Diversion Books. Thank you for letting my girls on the verge have a home. Najla Qamber for finding the perfect couple and creating a stunning cover. To my writing friends at Write-o-Rama, NA Hideaway, and NAAU.
Robert Lettrick for your unflinching belief not just in my words, but also in me.
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