by Alexx Andria
We were both fucking animals, to be honest. Sometimes we grunted like rooting pigs — I’m pretty sure one or both of us squealed at some point — but I’d never been so consumed by another human being.
“So fucking perfect,” Gage ground out as he threw my legs over his shoulders, grinding into me with each thrust. “Fuck Mari…never enough…”
That last part, said on the tail end of a groan was the hottest thing I’d ever heard. To know that I made him insatiable…it was the most intense aphrodisiac I’d ever experienced.
“Am I yours?,” I asked, clenching my muscles to squeeze his cock without mercy. He moaned and nearly lost his rhythm but he recovered with a crooked, hungry grin as he towered over me. I met his stare with a bold one of my own, daring him to push my limits. “Or maybe you like to share…is it okay for someone else to fuck me, baby?”
“No,” he growled, the menacing little sound sending wild tendrils of excitement chasing my nerves.
“Then prove it,” I countered with a breathless smirk that I knew would drive him crazy.
I wasn’t wrong.
“You’re a sassy little bitch, aren’t you?” he said, taking the unspoken invitation. A tiny thrill arced through me as he flipped me to my belly. I clutched the bedding, holding my breath. I gasped as the sharp whack of his hand across my ass stung with immediate warmth. “Have you forgotten, baby? This ass is mine…everything you are, belongs to me.”
I closed my eyes and lifted my ass. I knew what he was going to do and I was ready. I was prepared for the pain of being fucked in the ass by that monster cock because it was Gage.
I wanted him to know I was all in. I would show him by taking whatever he chose to do to me.
Save your judgement…this was between me and Gage.
The head of Gage’s cock slid through my pussy juices, slicking the way. I was already sloppy wet. The anticipation of splitting apart on his cock…made me drip even more. “Do it, baby,” I encouraged, squeezing the bed sheets.
I expected brutality but Gage was gentle as he fed his cock to my ass, pushing tenderly through my virgin hole, waiting for my body to adjust to his size. “Oh God, Mari,” his cry of pure pleasure added to my own. “Jesus fucking Christ…”
His slow, easy thrusts rocked my body and there was no pain at all. I found my clit and rubbed the aching nub as he fucked my ass and all too soon I was cumming again. The pressure in my ass, the new sensation of being fucked like this…I was gripped by an entirely different orgasm as it ripped through me without mercy.
I cried out, hoarse from breathing hard, unable to form coherent thought as wave after wave crashed over me without end. I may have babbled nonsense — I don’t know, I lost all sense of time and reason — and I was only dimly aware of Gage cumming shortly after me.
He collapsed beside me, his softening cock leaking with the tiny pulses of his own orgasm as we both struggled to recover.
After, the night blanketing us, our breath shallow, we laid there for a long moment, silent.
There was that shift again…that feeling that we had dropped to another level, though the gears were rusty and both of us were unsure of our footing on this new terrain.
I knew he felt it, too. Now was the time to get him to see that I wasn’t going to hurt him.
I wanted to know what was eating him alive. I sensed he needed to vent, to excise the rot inside his soul but if he kept nurturing the pain, it would never heal.
Could I convince him that he could trust me with his secrets?
The dark felt safe somehow. Maybe he would feel the same.
“What happened to you, Gage?” I asked softly, stroking his hair as he settled against the pillow of my breast, his arm curling around my waist. “Why won’t you let yourself be happy?”
“Somethings just aren’t meant to be,” he answered, fading fast.
I shook him gently. “Gage?”
“Hmmm?”
“You can trust me,” I told him quietly. “I hope you know that.”
“You aren’t the problem, baby,” Gage replied with a mild slur. “You shouldn’t trust me.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m fucking rotten inside and you’re not. I’ll just ruin you. I gotta stay away…but I can’t seem to let go. Jesus, I know but I can’t.”
“I don’t want you to go,” I protested, wanting to shake the stubbornness out of him. I want you to stay, goddamnit.
“You have no idea what you’re getting into,” Gage said with a sigh as he rolled away from me. “Go to sleep, Mari.”
But I wasn’t tired.
I wanted to unravel this stupid mystery but Gage was already lightly snoring, dead to the world.
I stared at his back, already well-familiar with every contour on his body, the way his skin felt beneath my fingertips, how his muscles tensed when he was about to cum…I knew this man physically but he wouldn’t let me into that inner sanctum that he guarded like a fucking junk yard dog.
Logic told me, let him go. Holding onto someone who didn’t want to be held was like gripping razor wire in a game of tug-of-war. But my heart stuttered with anguish at the thought of watching him leave without a fight.
He needs me, I told myself.
No, he needs a fucking therapist, a different voice cautioned, which is NOT you.
Solid advice, Inner Voice of Smarts. Too bad I never listened.
18
He was gone.
I awoke to an empty bed and sore muscles. I tried not to let his disappearance hurt too deeply but it did. Booty calls did not end up in sleep-overs. If he hadn’t been so drunk, he would’ve left before I could get him into bed.
Maybe it was my fault for over-estimating my worth.
But even as I tried to counsel myself, I knew it was all bullshit. Gage loved me. I could feel it in his reverent, possessive touch, as if I were the most treasured piece of glass that’d been made just for him.
That kind of inadvertent reveal was hard to fake but it was apparently really easy to run from.
I winced as I climbed from the bed, desperately needing a shower. I didn’t smell like a freshly picked peach, that was for sure.
I laughed at my own thought and started the shower, sitting on the toilet while I waited for the water to heat. Miss Switch walked in, as she normally did when I was on the toilet and after, I’d petted her nicely, she repaid me by biting my exposed thigh.
“Ouch, you little shit,” I said, glaring. “Do you have to bite me every time?”
She meowed in response as if to say, “Of course, it’s our thing” then walked out, flicking her tail in goodbye.
“I think I’ve figured out my dysfunction…I crave abuse!” I stated wryly because there was too much truth in my own statement. “Jesus…maybe I’m the one who needs the therapist.”
I showered and went to the kitchen for my coffee only to find coffee was made for me, waiting in the pot.
Don’t get all mushy, I told myself. So what if he made you coffee before bailing? Big deal. But it was a big deal…at least it was to me.
I fought the genuinely happy smile and poured a cup.
Maybe he’d surprise me and show up tonight. A sudden thought came to me…maybe that would be our thing…he would visit me at night like Batman or something.
Billionaire businessman by day, happy hermit sex god by night.
That’s stupid.
I exhaled and agreed but I still clung to the hope that I would see him tonight.
And, operating on that hope, I cleaned my apartment, ran to the store to get groceries so I could have dinner ready, and spent extra time on my downstairs area so I was ready for action when he arrived.
But by that evening, as I sat by myself with Miss Switch, the emptiness of my clean apartment mocking me and my efforts, I realized as I blew out the candles I’d lit for ambience, he wasn’t coming.
And he didn’t come the next night either.
Or the next.
Or the
fucking next.
By the end of the week of no-shows, I had to admit that I’d just been a booty call and he wasn’t interested in pursuing anything more.
Hurt turned to white-hot anger.
What a fucking pussy.
First sign of a connection with another human being and he runs like a scared kid. Well, fuck him. I didn’t need his bullshit.
But even as I held onto my righteous fury, I couldn’t stop the tears squeezing from my broken heart.
Yeah, I said it.
A broken heart.
I’d fallen for the asshole. Hook, line and sinker. I knew it was deeper than infatuation, more than simple lust.
I wanted to ease his pain and soothe his wounds. I wanted to watch dumb television shows together and debate over which character was better or worse than the other.
I wanted to fall asleep beside him and wake up in his arms.
I wanted to see his dirty t-shirts draped over the bed and his jeans lying on the floor.
I wanted his toothbrush chilling out next to mine.
I wanted a life with him.
But none of that was going to happen because he was a goddamn pussy and he was better at running from rather than solving a problem and I didn’t have time in my life for that kind of bullshit.
In real life, sometimes the guy who fucks you senseless isn’t the one you build an empire with…sometimes he’s just the guy who leaves you with red-hot memories that burn for a lifetime.
I should’ve refused his offer that night. I should’ve told him to shove his money up his puckered ass because I couldn’t be so easily bought.
Hindsight was a bitch. I wiped at my eyes. And so was a scorned woman.
I was going to find Gage, tell him what I thought of him, and then walk away.
No, even better, I was moving out of this city and when I did, Gage would never just show up on my doorstep again.
I guess the best place for a restart was to go where the reset button was, right?
Time to head home.
19
It’d taken weeks and a pricey private investigator but I’d found Gage.
I stared up at the skyscraper poking the sky, readying myself to confront the man who’d turned my life upside down.
I’d tried to prepare myself for whatever I might find but I was a bit terrified that I might discover he had a wife and kids tucked away.
To my immense relief, my PI assured me Gage was quite single, a loner, in fact.
He kept his circle incredibly small and spent most of his spare time pursuing solitary activities. Gage put the emphasis on Table For One lifestyle.
My PI had actually stalked Gage, providing pictures of his daily comings and goings. As I’d thumbed through the stack, I hadn’t felt the least bit guilty. Hadn’t Gage done the same before he’d approached me with his one-night-only offer?
Turn about was fair play, as they said.
I took a certain amount of solace in that he hadn’t lied to me about being a businessman, at least, but I was about to embarrass the shit out of him in front of his peers.
Don’t feel too bad, he deserves it.
Wearing a new designer suit that clung to my curves and accentuated my long legs, I walked into the building with my chin lifted, a sharp look about me.
I looked as if I belonged in this brushed steel and polished chrome world.
The elevator took me straight to the thirty-fifth floor, the home offices of Belcorp Enterprises, where Gage presided as CEO and founder.
“May I help you?” the pretty secretary asked with polite courtesy but I just shook my head and kept walking. When she realized I wasn’t going to stop, she quickly grabbed the phone, possibly to alert security, but I came to say what I needed to say and no one was going to stop me.
As if by magic, I homed in on Gage, spotting him easily through the glass walls of the conference room where he lorded over the meeting from his black leather executive chair.
God, he was so handsome in a suit. I faltered a little, having only seen him dressed down before this moment, but I found my strength again and barreled forward.
Pushing up the double glass doors, I met Gage’s startled gaze as I interrupted his meeting.
I’d rehearsed an entire speech but as soon as I locked stares with Gage, all I could get out was, “You’re an asshole,” before my eyes started to water.
The secretary skidded to a stop beside me, apologizing to Gage, “She just walked right past me. I’ve called security,” she said. “I’m sorry…”
I turned to the secretary, saying coolly, “Don’t worry I won’t take long.” Then to Gage, I said, “Here’s the deal…don’t buy me gifts, show up drunk at my place, let me fall in love with you, and then bail. That’s a shit move. You can deny it all you want but you caught feelings…you were just too much of a pussy to deal with it like an adult. I don’t know what happened to you but grow the fuck up and be original for fuck’s sake. This brooding billionaire act is cliche as fuck.”
The assembled board members gasped, except for one, an attractive man with incredible green eyes who seemed to be enjoying the show.
“She seems to have your number,” the man remarked with a grin.
“Stay out of this, Reece,” Gage warned, his eyes flashing, pissed. Good, let him be mad. He deserved this shit show. Gage gestured to the door, rising as he said, “We can talk privately, Mari” as if I would feel chastised by his tone and agree. Fuck that.
“Why?” I asked, folding my arms across my chest. “Actually, don’t bother. You’re not the only one who has cornered the market on pain. Just because you’re hurting doesn’t mean it excuses your behavior. What you did to me…was wrong. I loved you, Gage, but I’m good now. Now…you’re just a memory. Enjoy your fucked up life, I’m out.”
And I took great pleasure in walking out, leaving him to deal with my embarrassing outrage.
Maybe it was childish but it felt good to say my piece, to show that I wasn’t some helpless woman, sitting like a good girl waiting for him to grace me with his presence.
Seriously, fuck that.
I was a strong, independent woman and I didn’t need his bullshit clouding my judgment or ruining my day from this point forward.
And these tears are tears of victory!
I was definitely not crying because I missed the bastard and seeing him again was like a fresh stab to the heart.
Nope.
Not even.
I burst from the building onto the street but I’d only taken three steps when I heard Gage right behind me.
“Was that necessary?” he asked, his tone cold. “What did you hope to accomplish by embarrassing yourself?”
I whirled to face him. “One of us ought to be embarrassed but it’s not me. I didn’t do anything in this relationship to be ashamed of…you, on the other hand, ought to be terribly embarrassed.”
“What relationship, Mari?” he queried, his expression like stone. “We have no relationship. What we had was a mutually agreeable sexual arrangement, which has concluded. I told you whatever happened between us would be temporary. I never lied to you.”
My cheeks burned but I wasn’t backing down. Gage could play as if nothing existed between us but I knew different.
“You can front because it’s easier than admitting you caught feelings, too but know this…I know the truth. I also know you’re too much of a pussy to face whatever is eating you to start a future with someone you care about.”
Something flashed in his blue eyes but whatever it was became locked behind the iron curtain that slammed down between us as he took a step forward, his hands casually shoved in his trousers.
“Mari…I picked you because I thought you could handle the arrangement. Obviously, I was wrong,” he said with an annoyed sigh but he continued with a shrug. “Look, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Maybe we could come to some sort of agreement.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Well, I enjoy fucking yo
u, that’s true. We seem to be compatible in that way…maybe we could come to a new business relationship.” He reached to caress my jaw and I jerked away from his touch when I realized what he was proposing.
Everything good and sweet associated with Gage that I’d been protecting inside my heart shriveled and died. “Fuck. You,” I replied with all the cold misery frosting my soul. “Don’t come near me ever again.”
“Mari, don’t be so immature,” Gage tried reasoning but I was seeing red and he had no idea how close I felt to murdering him right here on the busy street. “This could be an equitable compromise for us both.”
But I was already on the move, putting as much distance between me and that dickwad as I could manage without mowing people over in my haste.
Gage Donnelly wasn’t the man I’d thought he was.
Or maybe, he’d never been.
Lesson learned.
I would never be so foolish again.
20
Moving day was here.
The moving truck was packed with my belongings — meager as they were — and a plane ticket home waited for me.
Back to California.
It wasn’t failure, I told myself. It was simply a reset. New York hadn’t been the golden ticket I’d thought it was going to be but that didn’t mean San Fransisco or Los Angeles might not be.
I’d struggled for so long, trying to make New York into something it wasn’t out of necessity but that was over.
I had the money to figure things out, go at my own pace.
But for the time being, I wanted to immerse myself in my photography. I wanted to pack a bag, jump in my new car (a rugged, yet sensible all-wheel drive Subaru) and just photograph anything and everything that caught my eye.
I wanted to discover my gift, my purpose.
And I wanted to forget about Gage.
That part would be the hardest.
Each time I thought I was out of tears, they started fresh. The ache in my chest was something I couldn’t quite shake and the memories haunted my dreams.
Sometimes I woke and reached for the man — even though he’d only spent one night sleeping beside me.