by M. D. Massey
“You’re potentially deadly.” His eyes hold heat, promises, and a vulnerability I’ve never seen in him.
The next thing I know, he rips my panties. We wiggle, laughing as he kicks off his jeans and boxers, showing me he is more than ready. I’m right there with him, though. He teases my nipples as I tremble with anticipation, trying to go slow. I don’t want slow. My dull ache has turned into a burning, throbbing need. Shooting me a knowing grin, he guides me onto him. It feels like diving into a cool spring after crawling through a desert. We both watch as we connect in the most intimate way, for the first time, gasping from the feel of it.
Mac navigates my hips with his hands using a thumb to rub at my core, making me throw my head back as waves of powerful passion come so easily after so long. He lies back to get a full view, watching me with half-lidded eyes. Removing his hands from my hips, he lets me take control, as he traces my body, returning to tease me in a tantalizing way. Breathing heavily with the escalating buildup, I come in intense waves sending shocks through my body from the inside out.
Flipping over, I gasp at the intimacy at having a lover around the same height. We look at each other with ease, kissing while we connect with steady thrusts. His soft curls are beneath my fingers as my desire builds again. This time, the release is stronger, causing me to cry out as I ride out its intensity, and he moves erratically, putting his forehead to mine. I watch him lose control as he gives himself to me – I’ve never thought him more beautiful. He stops moving, both of us breathing heavily and satisfied.
He smiles. “I don’t think I’ll wake up from a dream this time, sunshine.”
I grin and pant. “No, I don’t think you will.”
The early morning sun shines in through the small window. After more fleshy indulgence, I’m on the brink of sleep, in a lazy haze with aftershocks I’ve never experienced before. Glancing at Mac, he has the same look I’m feeling. He notices me gazing at him and tightens his arms around me.
“We should get some sleep,” I say, blinking.
“No way, and miss your trembling body? No thanks, sunshine. We have all day to sleep.” His smile is charming. Opening my eyes all the way, I don’t want to waste time either. Who knows what will happen when we make it to the base?
“I take that back. Sleep is overrated.” I lean up to kiss him, straddling him as I had the first round.
“What?” he asks softly and slowly, with a grin.
“I didn’t wear you out, did I?” I whisper in his ear, making sure my breath hits gently.
Suddenly, he flips me over. “I’ll take that as a challenge.” I laugh, lifting my head as he teases my neck and collarbone. His body tenses. “But I think I should tell you something.”
The tone doesn’t sound good. I groan as his aqua eyes peer into mine. “No. Don’t ruin this, please.” I run my fingertips down the side of his face. The feeling coursing through me makes me feel alive with hope. Hope to get past the next several days, so I can live some more.
“No, you need to know. I told Rudy to tell you, but he obviously hasn’t.” Uneasiness squirms into my brain. Now I’m thinking clearly, his dance was a tease. I seemed like a drunken fool, panting over him.
I wave my hand in a go on gesture. “Julie is his fiancée,” he blurts, letting out a gush of relieved air. My heart speeds as everything clicks into place.
“Why would he lie about that? He said they were like family.” Mac looks at me like I’m missing the obvious, but something else comes to mind I can lash out at. “This is what you’ve been fighting about? And why would you think I’d care?” He looks down. I realize I do care and stuff it down before he can see it.
“I’m not stupid, Kansas, I know you feel something for him. I was afraid if I told you, I would never know if I were second choice. I wanted him to tell you, but we both knew it would hurt you.”
“It’s not like that, Mac. We’re good friends.” How many times have I said this? I sigh throwing it out there, wanting to clear the air. “Yeah, Rudy is attractive. I may have thought about what it’d be like to take a tumble in the sack with him. What female who has ever been lucky enough to be in his presence wouldn’t? I have never made any steps for our relationship to go further than platonic.” I turn over with my back to him.
He sighs, kissing my shoulder before falling back to the bed. “I didn’t intend to upset you.”
I shake my head and sigh. “You didn’t, Mac. Just be honest with me.” Was I being honest with myself? Now that I know the truth, I’m right in assuming Rudy and I flirt. “I understand why you didn’t tell me. It’s no reason for you and Rudy to be mad at each other when friends are scarce these days.” Something else niggles at my brain, but it’ll come to me in time. This new revelation takes up prime residence in my mind. I should at least admit to myself a part of me wants to be the only one who can make Rudy blush.
Later in the morning, around midday, Mac wakes me in a way I haven’t been woken in a long time, making this day a good one.
We lay panting and laughing when he asks, “Any morning after regrets?”
“Yes,” I state.
He looks worried for a second, but I say, “I regret waiting so long.” A bright smile comes across his features, liking my answer. Feeling elated with floating, happy, shiny thoughts, I kiss him.
We make it out of bed. Mac eats beef jerky he found at Target yesterday. I don’t see how he is eating it as the jerky crunches between his teeth. I stick with an apple and drink flat Mountain Dew we looted. I borrow his comb to comb my hair, knowing I’ll have to get a brush. Already tired of brushing it, I tie it into a ponytail. He smirks, watching me slip on his white t-shirt.
He’s going to the marketplace to pack up his booth. I decide to target practice with the compound bow, and he will meet me at the targets soon. After a kiss that has us both wanting to stay in bed to explore a new stage in our relationship, we part for a while.
The sun shines, lifting my mood higher. Mac and I have great chemistry, which I knew. A burden has lifted from my shoulders. The archery range is beyond the fence beside the greenhouse, a little too secluded, but I don’t worry about famished because of the sun.
My bow shots get better after the first few. It’s a relaxing and stress relieving art. My mood slips a little when I see Rudy come around the corner of the family dorms. He glances at my flying arrows.
“Hey, Rudy! What’s up?” I smile at him, feeling awkward about our dance and my all night activities. I don’t know what to say to him about his lie, so I don’t say anything. Well, not a lie, but an omission.
He studies me as I hit the target. “It finally happened,” he breathes, looking into the distance.
I lower the bow, disengaging an arrow. “What happened?” I ask, caution toning my voice.
“You and Mac,” he shrugs, still looking away. I narrow my eyes and can’t believe he is bringing it up. I feel hurt, stung because my friend is making me feel guilty about something I’m content with.
Mac probably didn’t make it a secret, but I’ll talk to him later. It pisses me off. “Not that it’s your business, but I’ve been fucking Mac for a while now! I’ve been sleeping in his room, remember?” He looks at me, his face impassive.
“You haven’t been sleeping with Mac, you’ve been sleeping in the vault for weeks. I know because I check on you every night.” He shrugs. “You weren’t there last night after you and Mac left the party. Why would you tell me you’ve been sleeping in Mac’s room?”
Awe sweeps through me at his thoughtfulness to check on me, but I’m still mad. “What else was I supposed to do? You wanted space, right? So, I gave you space.”
He shakes his head. “You jumped to assumptions. It was only a suggestion.”
I want to say something to make him angry, most likely because I feel foolish. “Why don’t you go pay for Candy’s services?”
It doesn’t work. He gives me a mirthless smirk. “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” h
e taunts. A cockiness overtakes his demeanor. I only now realize I sound jealous and he’s using it. What the hell did he want me to say?
My mouth hangs open, but I use new enlightenment. “I know you wouldn’t do that, though. Wouldn’t want to cheat on your fiancée.” I try to keep my voice calm but I’m glaring at him, so I’m sure it lessens the effect of any indifference.
Anger flashes in his eyes and his jaw clenches. Finally. He’s mad, too. Now we can duke it out. “He told you, huh? Is that why you slept with him?” He spits in complete chagrin. His fists clench and unclench at his sides. Just like a guy to turn it right back around.
Outraged, I retaliate. “No, I was horny and attacked him like a wild beast!” I deliberately use his description of me that once made him blush. I don’t know why I said it, maybe to get a reaction.
He knows what I refer to, and narrows his eyes. “What about the guy at the base?” This he spits at me in disgust. His question stuns me, but it clicks.
My laugh is humorless. “That’s why he asked about Malachi. You told Mac I have someone at the base. Perfect. How did you even know about Malachi? I’ve never told you. For clarification, I had to kill Malachi four years ago!” I yell at him, tears stinging my eyes. My face is hot and blazing red. I know, for a fact, I never mentioned Malachi in my notebook, either.
His eyes widen, staring at me like he’s never seen me before. The silence is awkward. I can see the fight going out of him. His intense gaze flashes pain before looking away from my face. He doesn’t answer my question but asks one instead. “Then why are you so determined to get into the base, Kansas?” Rudy looks as confused and frustrated as I feel.
I stare at him open mouthed. “I was helping you.” I look to the ground. “You helped me, still do.”
“But you were going there anyway,” he says, making a good point. I can see why he jumped to conclusions.
“I was going to see if I could find out anything useful. Gain knowledge and, you know, help people.”
“I’m so sorry, Kansas.” He runs a hand through his hair. When he looks at me, his face is wiped of any emotion. “You’re right. It’s not my business. I’ll see you later.” I let out a breath as he stalks toward the fenced-in courtyard.
Why did he care? I decide on the uncomplicated conclusion – he thought I had someone at the base and wanted me to keep my morals intact. I wipe at my eyes, refusing to cry. I shoot another arrow hard and it goes off target. My great mood is officially out the window. Damn, I forgot to ask him how he knew about Malachi. At this moment though, it’s not important. His actions shock me. I’ve never taken him for a confrontation kind of guy. I shoot a few more arrows and miss the bullseye every time. Taking a deep breath, I need to focus. This target isn’t even moving and I’m having trouble hitting it.
“Hi-ya!” A voice startles me, making my heart go into double-time. I turn to see a man behind me. I don’t recognize him, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t from the community. He sounds cheerful, but in a Pennywise the Dancing Clown way with a smile that creeps me out, making me take a step back. I expect him to give me a balloon and say, “We all float down here.”
He’s rounded in the cheeks and belly with gray hair cut crudely. Brown trousers and a cream colored shirt under a brown vest makes him look to be from a different time. When I look him in the eye, his eyes go two different directions. Lazy eyes, but I know he’s studying me closely. I know he can’t help it, but I wonder if he can keep a watch on different things at the same time. Might be kind of spiffy, except for the whole outward appearance of it.
An eye wanders at the targets. They move back and forth in an eerie way. I shouldn’t judge his disability, but it’s disturbing to watch.
“Good shot,” he says, trying for neutral conversation. I don’t see how he can say that, since only one arrow protrudes from the bullseye.
I try not to look repulsed. It’s not just his eyes, but the vibe coming from him is threatening.
“Thanks. I better be going,” I say, backing up more and bend to pick up my arrow holster. His feet move toward me.
“I don’t think so,” he says, just as cheery. He pistol-whips me on the head and darkness invades.
28
Breathing in Mac through my nostrils, I smile and snuggle closer to him, but realize he’s not beside me. Peeking an eye open, I take in the unfamiliar setting. An apartment bedroom. Awareness and memory burn through my consciousness, remembering the pistol-whip as a throb forms in my head. I’m stupid for not keeping an eye on the man. An unofficial, unspoken rule – never turn your back on an enemy.
“Stay lying down. I’m sure your head must hurt,” a female voice cautions. A woman in her early thirties sits beside me with straw brown hair parted down the middle, going into a bun at the nape of her neck. Shutting the book in her lap, she pushes her glasses, magnifying a black eye. It didn’t cover her dark eyes or long nose, too pointy for her round facial structure and body.
Her lips harden as she smoothes a long, cloth gown. “He wasn’t supposed to hit you.”
“Where am I? Who are you?” I ask her.
“I’m Isabel, and where you are is better left unsaid,” she says, leaning back with an eye roll as if she had better things to do than babysit me.
Deep voices argue in another room somewhere. A bright light bears down on us, indicating electricity. The walls are burgundy, painted in the old life. A sliding mirror door, most likely a closet, is across from me on the double bed. I’m happy to see my pack leaning against the wall next to a vanity and stool, lacking the machete and hatchet. I left those in Mac’s room, but his bow is next to my pack. Boards block the only window. Time to go.
I throw the itchy wool blanket off and say, “That’s okay. I can find my own way out.” I start to get up, and she points a gun at me. I freeze, looking down the barrel. A Glock 22. Reece would be impressed. It looks a little big for her hands, but she doesn’t know any better. She hasn’t even shot it before. The slide sits in place, not cocked back.
“Listen, you little wench. You are going to sit here and shut up. I hoped we could be friends.” Her lips pull into a tight smile as her eyes crinkle behind her glasses. “Honor and obey, you will.” She jerks the gun forward, emphasizing it as I pull back. Maybe when Mac realizes I’ve been kidnapped, he’ll come and find me.
“People will look for me.”
She leans forward, lips curled into a sneer. “Not if they think you left of your own free will.”
I jump to startle her and elbow her in the face. She falls, dropping the gun and I dive for it, but Pennywise steps into my sight, picking it up to hand it back to Isabel.
“They do think that, you know?” the man says as he kicks the side of my face with a fat leg, packing a mad kick. Pain erupts as I fall, catching myself with my hands. Black spots dance in my vision and I feel worse than I did a few minutes ago. He points at my pack. “I heard your little argument with your friend. You’re a sinner and need to be cleansed of filth. My name is Jeremiah, and I will wed you when we figure out who’ll be your new husband. They’re fighting over you.” He smiles as if I should be honored. One of his eyes moves to Isabel and the other strays the other way. “You remove her boots?”
Isabel nods. Did they think I won’t run without my boots? I’d give it some serious thought, but most likely I will.
“You’ll have splendid children. What is your name?” he asks with a smile.
I say the first thing that comes to mind. “Mary.”
“Ahh… a name of the Lord. How delightful,” he cheers, sending a cold chill through my nerves.
Four boys, yes boys, come rushing in, toppling over each other on the wooden floor. When they get through the door, they stand straight side by side. Looking between the ages of fourteen and nineteen, they’ve the same look about them. They all have dark, almost black, crudely cut hair, black trousers and white shirts with suspenders. One of the older ones has thick coke bottle glasses sitting crookedly on his f
ace. I feel bad for him knowing prescription glasses in this new world are hard to come by.
Jeremiah shakes his head in shame, his eyes wandering with a mind of their own, and a face pinched in scorn. “I’ve decided the two eldest will let the Lord choose.”
I choke. How would they know that? The boys nod, looking grim. Jeremiah walks over to my pack and takes out my Smith & Wesson revolver. My mouth goes dry as my stomach sinks.
“Joshua and Joseph, come here.” Jeremiah drops all the bullets, one by one, on the floor, my stomach dropping lower with the clunk of each bullet. One gleams between his thumb and forefinger as he holds it up. “This bullet will send one of you to our Lord, and you will have the honor of Miss Mary cleaning your remains.”
My eyes widen in shock at this twisted game of Russian roulette. It takes more than a few moments for it to sink in. I tremble in rage. “No! No fucking way!” I gesture to Joshua and Joseph. They both gaze at me with soft eyes. “Neither of them deserves to lose their life,” I scream. One of them gives me a small smile before casting his eyes downward. I move, but Isabel cocks the slide back on the gun.
Jeremiah ignores me, they all do, as the boys lift their chins in determination. Isabel smirks as if to say, “How do you like it?” Jeremiah spins the barrel, and slaps it shut. Joshua and Joseph sit Indian style, facing each other.
He holds out the gun, butt first. “Joseph, you will go first.” Joseph, the one with the glasses, takes the gun, but instead of pointing it at himself, he points it at Joshua. Joshua breathes rapidly with his eyes closed. The gun clicks, and he lets out a breath.
Joseph gives him the gun, and Joshua doesn’t waste any time making it click. Joshua turns red, getting frustrated. Joseph smirks taking the gun again, and pointing it at Joshua. “I love you, brother,” he says, squeezing the trigger at a slow, maddening pace, and the gun clicks.