by M. D. Massey
“Exactly what you gonna pay me with? Your money’s gonna be worthless when all this goes to shit.” He waves his arms in the air.
Okay, maybe he isn’t a total moron.
Joshua bites his lip. “I can buy you supplies. Food, whatever you need. Whenever we get to the next gas station.”
“Ain’t a bad plan,” Axl says to his brother. “We’re set on survival gear, but we can never have too much food and water.”
Angus nods. “‘Kay. You got yourself a deal. But I’m going to tell you the same thing I told sugar tits over there.” He jerks his head toward me and takes a step closer to Joshua. “My car, my rules. Got it?”
Joshua bobs his head so hard I’m afraid it will give him whiplash. He looks ridiculous because his hands are still in the air.
“Have some self-respect,” Axl says. “Put your hands down. Nobody’s got a gun on you.”
Joshua lowers his hands and shoves them in his pockets.
“You want coffee?” Axl asks me, barely glancing my way.
I nod, and he gets to work making coffee with a fancy-looking coffee maker. It’s similar to something you’d see in a person’s kitchen, only it says Coleman at the top and has a small propane tank at the bottom. It looks expensive.
“Takes about fifteen minutes,” he says when he lowers himself into the chair next to Angus.
I take the third. Joshua stands awkwardly off to the side. He hasn’t moved from that spot since he put his hands down.
“You’re makin’ me nervous,” Axl says. “Take a seat.”
There aren’t any other chairs, so Joshua takes his backpack off and sets it down. He sits right on the ground and awkwardly crosses his long legs.
Angus watches Joshua wordlessly, spitting into his soda can every so often. I have to turn away. Watching him do that makes my stomach turn.
“So what’s your story?” Angus finally asks.
Joshua shrugs but looks down, like it hurts to think about it. “Trying to get home. Just like everyone else on this road.”
“Not everyone.” Angus spits again.
Joshua cringes a little and looks away from Angus, toward the fire. “I lived in Baltimore, moved there four months ago. When this got bad I tried to leave, but we were already on lock-down.”
I sit up straighter and so do the brothers. “You’re from Maryland?” It’s so close to New York. So close to where all this started.
“It was bad where I was. I can’t imagine what it was like in New York.”
“When did you get locked down?” Axl asks.
The shadows created by the fire cut down Joshua’s face, drawing his mouth into an exaggerated frown. He reminds me of the Joker. “Eight weeks ago maybe. It was earlier than they’re saying on the news.”
I stare at him, speechless. The news reports said only New York was locked down that early. Everything else was open until martial law was declared. They lied.
“Shit.” Angus shakes his head. “I told you them bastards was lyin’ to us.”
Axl’s mouth scrunches up like he wants to spit. “Good thing I listened and we got the hell outta there when we could.”
I ignore them and lean closer to Joshua. “What was it like?”
He swallows. “Bad. I know I already said that, but…I just don’t know how else to put it. There aren’t words. All nonessential businesses were shut down, hospitals were overrun, and they had to set-up temporary clinics in the schools. People were literally dying in the streets.”
My stomach twists. “You said ‘were.’ So it’s contained now?”
Angus and Axl stop talking.
Joshua sniffs. “No. It’s not contained. It’s more like everyone who was going to die from it already did. This thing is weird. Only about seventy percent of the population is affected by it. The rest of us are immune.”
“So you’re immune?” He must be. He has papers.
“Yeah. I passed my physical exam. And trust me, if I was going to get it, I would have.” He looks up, and his eyes bore into mine. “I was at the hospital there in Baltimore, working in the ER.”
“You’re a doctor?” A big smile spreads across Angus’s face. Once again he reminds me of a chimpanzee.
“First year resident. I saw it all first-hand, and let me tell you, it wasn’t pretty.”
My head pounds. I run my hands through my hair, then massage my scalp. This can’t be real. “Has it spread then?”
“Yeah, it’s spread. I mean, they’re doing what they can. They’ve been cremating the bodies and putting cities on lock down, but it’s an impossible task. No matter what they do, someone is going to sneak through.” He sucks in a slow breath, like breathing is difficult. “This whole thing, the travel papers and check points. It’s all for show. They know it’s going to sweep across the country and there’s nothing they can do about it. Seventy percent of our population is going to die from this virus. Whatever it is.”
“How do you know all this? You’re just some ER doctor, you don’t work for the government or nothin’.” Axl narrows his eyes at Joshua like he doesn’t trust him.
Axl actually has a point.
“I understand your suspicion, and you’re right. I’m nobody. But we had doctors from the CDC with us at the hospital. I became friends with a woman who worked for them. She got sick and told me all this before she died, so I could go see my family before it was too late. Just in case they’re not immune.” His eyes are damp and he looks away, clearing his throat. Probably doesn’t want to cry in front of the brothers. Not that I blame him.
“I’m sorry,” I say. I guess that’s the good thing about not having any family to lose.
Joshua wipes his eyes with his sleeve while he looks us all over. “So you all passed your physicals, right? Where are you from, what cities?”
“I’m from the Louisville area,” I say.
“Clinton, Tennessee. Not too far from Knoxville,” Axl says.
Joshua frowns and rubs his chin like he has a beard or something. It’s as smooth as a baby’s butt, though. “I don’t know about those areas. If you were from one of the northern states, I’d say you were safe. But I don’t think Tennessee and Kentucky have been hit hard by the virus yet.” He give us a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry, you’ll just have to wait and hope.”
A pit forms in my stomach, and I can’t move. There’s a seventy percent chance I am going to die. It should hurt less. I don’t have much of a life, anyway. No family, few friends. What am I leaving behind? Nothing. But the pain in my chest is so intense it’s like I’ve been hit by a car. It hurts like hell.
“Dammit!” Angus gets to his feet and stalks off toward the crumbling gas station. A string of profanity drifts back as he goes.
Axl looks the same as he always does. Resigned. At what point did he accept this is all he’d ever be? All he’ll ever have. I wish I’d accepted it. Maybe it would make this moment easier.
“Coffee’s ready.” He stands up and grabs a few steel camping mugs. “Doc?”
“Sure.”
Axl hands me a cup. He pours a second one for Joshua. It’s hot, but I wrap my hands around it anyway. My palms sting from the heat. I can’t find the motivation to bring it to my lips.
Axl sits back down and nods his head toward the now empty chair. “Might as well take Angus’s chair, he won’t be back for a while.”
Joshua gets to his feet. His limbs are so gangly that it looks like they’re tangled together. A bit of coffee spills in the process. He cringes and shakes his hand, then blows on it lightly.
“Shouldn’t you go check on your brother?” he asks when he’s safely in the camp chair. It’s too small for him. He has to be at least six foot six.
Axl takes a drink of his coffee. “Naw. He just needs to cuss a little. Maybe break somethin’.” As if on cue the sound of breaking glass shatters the silence. “Told ya.”
I finally take my first sip. The coffee is surprisingly good. I pay attention to the camping gear for the firs
t time. It’s all top-of-the-line. The tent isn’t huge, but it’s nice and solid. The camp chairs aren’t the cheap kind you buy at the grocery store. They’re the expensive ones that have padded seats and a back that reclines. How did the brothers afford all this stuff? There has to be thousands of dollars’ worth of equipment in the car. And the car itself is new. And nice. Leather seats, totally spotless. There’s no way they had the money for this stuff. Axl told me he worked construction, when he could get work. Bad economy. That’s what he’d said.
Axl’s eyes meet mine and his eyebrows pull together. “What?”
I take another sip while I try to keep my expression as blank as possible. “Nothing. Just thinking.” Who did I get in the car with?
He nods, but his stormy eyes stay on me. He doesn’t believe me.
5
Angus staggers back just as the sun peaks over the horizon. The knuckles on his right hand are cut up and bloody. He clenches and unclenches his fist like he’s trying to makes sure nothing is broken.
We’ve already started breaking down the camp. Almost everything is packed into the car. Axl put up the third row of seats in the Nissan, but there’s still more than enough room in the back for all the supplies the brothers have.
Axl sees his brother’s hand and walks to the back of the car. He shakes his head and cusses under his breath. When he comes back he has a first aid kit. He thrusts it at Angus. “Better clean it. Don’t wanna find out you’re immune just to die from infection.”
Angus grunts and takes the first aid kit.
When we’re all packed, we pile into the car. Axl takes the driver seat. Angus insists I sit up front. He acts like he’s doing me a favor, but he just wants the middle row to himself. Joshua climbs into the third row and lays down. He’ll be asleep in no time. He walked all night.
I can’t get the camping equipment and car off my mind. How did I not notice it earlier? They must have stolen it. There’s no other explanation. And it would be the perfect timing, too. No one is really going to worry about looking for them. Not with this virus sweeping the country, killing most of the people exposed. Who would bother? Not the police. Probably not even the person it was stolen from. They know it too, or they wouldn’t be so casual. These guys may be uneducated rednecks, but that doesn’t mean they’re stupid. They are smart and they are resourceful. They know exactly what they’re doing.
“So no brothers or sisters?” Axl says out of nowhere, breaking the silence hanging over us.
His eyes sweep over my face, and I shift in my seat uncomfortably. He runs a hand through his dirty blond hair. It’s messy, but in a cute way. His looks grow on you, I guess.
“No. Just me. And I’m pretty sure I was an accident. At least that’s what my dad used to say…” I don’t want to talk about Roger. Why did I say that? His gray eyes dart my way. It’s distracting and jumbles my thoughts.
“Sounds ‘bout right. My mom used to say the same thing to me. She say that to you, Angus?” He looks into the review mirror, trying to catch his brother’s eye.
“Hell no, she never said that shit to me. She knew better. Knew I’d give it right back,” he growls.
Axl flinches and looks back at the road. I guess Angus was immune to their mother’s wrath. Maybe he was part of the reason for it.
“Yeah, well, she said it to me. Lots.” Axl’s hands grip the steering wheel tightly and his lips purse. He and his brother do the same thing when they’re thinking.
He’s silent for a few minutes. His hands relax. “She was a bitch. Hit me and screamed at me. But I still cried when she died. Go figure.”
“That’s ‘cause you’re a pussy.” Angus chuckles to himself.
“It’s because she was your mom,” I say.
Axl looks over at me. “Would you cry, if your dad died?”
“Not now. I’m an adult. But if it had happened when I was a kid, I probably would have.”
He nods, but he frowns like Angus’s words really bugged him. He doesn’t say anything else. Neither do I. I still want to know how she died, but I’m not going to ask. He obviously has a lot of issues with his mom.
We drive in silence after that. I grab a paperback book out of my purse and read for a while. It’s an erotic romance. The more I read the more I’m aware of Axl sitting next to me. So close I can feel his body heat. I squirm in my seat and finally slam the book shut. This isn’t the time or place. After that I just stare out the window, letting the hours pass while I imagine how I’ll feel when I see my daughter.
A yellow sign catches my eye. “Next check point sixty miles,” I say to Axl, reading the sign as we pass it.
“We’re gonna stop here though.” He points to a building in the distance. “We’re gonna need gas before too long. Who knows when we’ll see the next open station.”
I glance over my shoulder. Angus lounges in the middle row, flipping through a Penthouse. Seems like the kind of reading he would pick. Joshua is passed out in the third row. I can’t even see the top of his head from up here.
The car begins to slow, and I turn back around. The building is a gas station/diner combo, and it’s old. Like everything else on Route 66. Just before we turn into the parking lot, we pass a large, handmade sign. It’s nothing more than a piece of plywood with words painted in sloppy, white letters. Next Gas Station 80 Miles.
The parking lot is packed. Cars line up at the pumps. It’s incredible how many people are here, considering you can go for an hour or more and not see another living soul on the road.
A few cars have handwritten signs in the windows that say things like Need Gas, Please Help. It reminds me of the man from the diner. He was out of cash and nowhere near home. What happened to him?
“We’re gonna get gas first.” Axl pulls up to the back of the line. “Who knows when these stations are gonna run out. People’ll really be screwed then.”
“Not us, brother.” Angus leans forward. “Even if we don’t make it all the way to the coast we’re prepared.”
Axl nods and his eyes meet mine. I can’t get all that expensive camping gear off my mind. His eyebrows pull together, but he doesn’t say anything. Neither do I. Truth is, I’m not sure I care how they got their gear. Not as long as I make it to Emily.
We wait for thirty minutes. Angus goes back to reading his magazine while Axl and I sit in uncomfortable silence. He glances at me from time to time. He almost looks nervous.
Axl gets out when we finally make it to the pump, and Angus clears his throat. The sound is thick and phlegmy.
“You’re not gonna screw my brother. Ya hear me?”
I twist around to face him. His expression is hard. I hold his gaze for a few seconds. His eyes are the same color as his brother’s. How did I not notice that before? Only they’re different. They are pure violence.
“I have no intention of screwing your brother. I already said that.”
“Good, then we’re on the same page. We been through a lot, and I ain’t gonna let some whore stripper come in here and rip this thing apart. We’re blood. Ain’t nothin’ stronger than that.” He raises his eyebrows like he’s challenging me.
The speech would be sweet if it wasn’t so threatening. But there’s nothing protective or loving in his words. I know his kind inside and out. It’s all about control with him.
“Whatever, Angus.” I turn back around.
He doesn’t say anything else. The pages of his magazine crinkle. Guess he went back to his Penthouse. Gross.
Axl climbs back in and starts the car. When he pulls into a parking space, the sudden urge to get out of the car overwhelms me. Being in here between the brothers makes me feel like I’m trapped in a mine. Just a couple days. That’s it.
The air in the diner is smoky and thick. There is one open table. The waitress who leads us there probably hasn’t slept in a week. Her eyes droop. She has a thick raspy voice and an even thicker cough. Smoker.
“I’ll grab you folks some water and be right back.” She barely g
lances at us as we sit down.
Joshua and I take one side. The brothers take the other. Axl keeps his eyes on his menu, but Angus glares at me. He brought his can. How am I going to eat with him spitting in that thing?
Joshua can’t sit still. He studies the menu for a few minutes, then glances up at Angus’s hard stare. Then back down at the menu. Back and forth it goes. He makes me more nervous than Angus does.
Finally he jumps up. “I have to use the bathroom. If she comes back, I’ll take a burger and fries.” He hurries away without looking at any of us.
“What the hell is goin’ on?” Axl asks as soon as Joshua walks away. He looks at his brother, not exactly glaring, but almost.
“Nothin’. Just had a talk with the stripper earlier. Wanted to make sure she knew she couldn’t screw her way between us.” Angus spits into the can.
Axl rubs the bridge of his nose like the conversation hurts his head. He’s not alone. “Nobody is screwin’ anybody. Just drop it, will you?” He won’t even look at me when he says, “Tell him.”
“Look, no offense, but you guys aren’t exactly my type.” Lumping the two of them together isn’t really fair. Truth is, now that I’ve been around Axl a little more, I don’t think he’s a thing like his brother. But I want Angus to get over this and convince him I’m not interested. Because I’m not. I’m really, really not. “Men like you are pretty much the reason I don’t date anymore. I have a bad track record. It usually ends up with me getting the shit beat out of me.”
Angus smiles, like the sound of someone beating me up appeals to him. It probably does. Axl’s stormy eyes flash. They are so similar to his brother’s, but so different.
But do I detect a little bit of hurt in them?
Axl tears his gaze away from me and faces his brother. “There. Good ‘nough?”
Angus seems to relent a little. His body relaxes. “Fine. Wouldn’t want to make the good doctor uncomfortable or anythin’. We may need him.”
Axl goes back to his menu. I actually agree with Angus. We have no idea what’s going to happen. What if this is the end? Having a doctor in our group might be a good thing.