by M. D. Massey
Angus slows while I try to make out the house numbers in the darkness. Most of the homes are completely dark, but a few have flickering or faint lights illuminating the windows. Like the inhabitants are using flashlights or candles. There are other survivors.
“What’s the number?” Joshua asks.
“4513,” I say. “It’s a one-story.”
“There.” Axl points out the window.
Angus pulls over in front of the house. It’s dark, just like most of the others, and my heart races.
“I’ll go with you,” Axl says.
I give him a smile even though there’s no way he can see it in the darkness. We climb out and head up the driveway in silence. The entire neighborhood is so quiet it makes me jumpy. There should be noise in a neighborhood like this. Music or talking, kids laughing or even a car driving down the street. But there’s nothing.
I knock on the front door and try to peer through the decorative glass. No one answers, and there’s no visible movement. Axl shrugs and shuffles his feet. I knock again. He looks as jumpy as I feel. He has a gun in one hand and a flashlight in the other. He thought ahead.
When no one answers again, I exhale. My shoulders slump. She didn’t make it. We were too late.
I’m about to turn away when a shadow darts across the room. My heart jumps to my throat. “Did you see that?”
He hands me the flashlight, then tries the doorknob. It doesn’t turn. He steps back, studying the outside of the house.
“What are you thinking?” I ask.
“Gotta be a way to get in. The front door’s got a deadbolt on it. Maybe we can get in through a window or side door.”
“We could just break a window,” I say. “If they’re dead they won’t care, and if she’s alone we can’t leave her.”
Axl raises an eyebrow. “Don’t wanna scare her.”
That’s a good point. “Okay. We’ll try the other doors first, but if breaking a window is our only option…”
He heads to the side of the house and reaches over the gate to unlatch it. In the backyard, I can just make out the shape of a swing set in the darkness. Axl moves swiftly through the dark yard, but I stumble a couple of times before finally flipping the flashlight on. There’s a sliding glass door. When Axl yanks on the handle, it actually opens.
“Lucky for us they forgot to lock it,” he says.
I exhale, and a lightness I haven’t felt since this whole thing started comes over me. Maybe not even for years, if I’m being honest. We’re here and the door is open. I can’t believe we made it.
We step in, and my eyes water. The air reeks of spoiled food and death. I cough and cover my nose. My feet are rooted to the ground. Do I want to keep walking? Do I want to go all this way just to see her dead and bloated?
“She could still be okay,” Axl whispers.
I swallow and fight to keep calm.
Axl walks forward, and I force my feet to work. The beam of the flashlight shakes as I pan it around the room. We’re in the living room with the kitchen right in front of us. Axl heads that way. I follow him on wobbly legs.
“Anybody here?” Axl calls.
I jump as his voice echoes through the empty house, like we’re in a cavern from which there’s no escape. I can’t stop shaking. There’s no answer. We find the kitchen floor covered in food and trash. Bags from cookies and crackers, empty boxes. It’s weird to see such a nice house so messy.
“Why’s there trash everywhere?”
Axl steps closer and snatches the flashlight out of my hand. “Looks like the work of a kid. Somebody tryin’ to fend for themselves.”
“She’s here.” My heart jumps. She’s hiding somewhere. But where? There’s a small table in the corner but she isn’t under it, and the pantry door is wide open. It’s empty.
“She’s somewhere.” Axl purses his lips. “Just think ‘bout it for a sec. She’s alone. Scared. Where would she feel safe?”
My heart pounds so hard that it’s like a jackhammer thumping against my insides. The answer to that question is obvious, and just thinking about it makes the contents of my stomach churn. “With her mom.”
Our eyes meet. “Follow that smell and we’ll find her.”
We head back through the house, past a playroom full of toys and a bathroom, and down a dark hall with open doors. The smell increases with each step.
“Emily,” I call out, trying to sound as unthreatening as possible.
No one responds, but there’s movement at the end of the hall. Coming from a sealed-off room.
Axl puts his gun away and turns the knob. My heartbeat kicks up. He pushes the door open. I suck in a deep breath through my nose and the putrid smell of death almost knocks me out. My stomach turns. I can’t lose it now. Emily needs me.
Axl shines the flashlight on the bed, illuminating two bodies. They’ve probably only been dead a day or two at the most. They don’t look too bad. A little swollen and much, much too pale, but otherwise they could almost be sleeping. A person might think they’re taking a nap, if it wasn’t for the smell.
I step forward and do my best not to focus on the bodies. Thankfully, Emily isn’t on the bed with her parents, but she has to be in this room. I open a closed door. It’s a walk-in closet that’s bigger than my bedroom back in Kentucky. Axl comes up behind me and shines the light inside. It’s empty.
“Under the bed,” he whispers.
I take a deep breath, then bend down so I can look under. Axl does the same. When he shines the light underneath, Emily’s frightened eyes stare back at me.
They are large and brown, just like mine. She’s filthy, and she clings to a stuffed animal. Her eyes are red and swollen. Tears stream down her cheeks.
“Emily.” I try my best to sound calm. “It’s okay. My name is Vivian, and I’m here to help you.”
She doesn’t move. Her eyes dart past me to Axl.
“S’okay,” he says gently. His voice is so much softer than I’ve ever heard it. “We ain’t gonna hurt you.”
Emily looks back and forth between us for a second, then crawls forward. I help her out, then check her over to make sure she’s okay. I’m not even sure what I’m looking for. Her hair is in tangled knots and she’s wearing pajamas that are as filthy as her face.
I brush the dirty hair aside and give her a tentative smile. “Are you okay?”
She looks over toward the bed. “Momma’s sick.”
Tears come to my eyes and I bite my lip. What do I say to that?
“Your momma’s gone, sweetheart,” Axl says. Emily and I both turn to look at him, and he reaches up, gently patting her on the shoulder. “So’s your daddy. But it’s okay, ‘cause they called and asked us to come an’ take care of you.”
Emily looks at me with eyes wide. “Do I have to leave momma?”
I nod and try to ignore the tear that rolls down my cheek. “Yes, baby.”
She looks over at her mom and dad, and I do the same. I can’t stop myself. It’s grotesque and horrifying, and I don’t want her to have to stay in here a moment longer.
I scoop her up and turn toward the door. “Let’s get out of here.”
I’m just about to walk out when something catches my eye. I freeze.
Axl almost runs into my back. “What?”
I stare at the bed. “I thought I saw something move.”
“Nothin’ movin’ in here.”
I nod but I can’t take my eyes off the bodies. The flashlight isn’t pointed in that direction. Long shadows stretch across the bed, playing tricks on my eyes. That’s all it is. There’s no way a finger actually moved just now. That would be impossible.
The hair on the back of my neck stands up.
I turn away, rushing down the hall to Emily’s room. Axl is right behind me and my heart is still pounding when I set Emily on her bed. There are goose bumps all up and down my arms. We need to get out of this house as fast as possible.
“I’m gonna check out the rest of the house while yo
u get her things together.” Axl hands me the flashlight.
“How are you going to see what you’re doing?”
“I’ll be alright,” he says. “Maybe I’ll find a flashlight. We could use a few more anyways.”
“Be careful,” I call as he disappears out the bedroom door.
Emily sits on the bed. Her eyes are huge and she watches me silently as I move through the bedroom, opening drawers and pulling out clothes and shoes. I’d like to be able to clean her up, but even if the water is still on, it will be cold. There’s no electricity. But there’s also no guarantee that the water is running at all.
I find a small suitcase in Emily’s closet and stuff it full of clothes before I get her changed. She’s quiet the entire time, just watching me with her big, brown eyes. I don’t talk either, mostly because I don’t know what to say, and I work fast. I want to get out of this house. The smell is making me more and more nauseated by the minute, and I can’t shake that uneasy feeling from the master bedroom. Something just isn’t right here.
Once she’s dressed in clean clothes, I take her to the bathroom and set her on the sink. I cross my fingers as I turn on the faucet. Water pours out, cool and clean, and I let out a sigh of relief. I have to rinse the washcloth three times while cleaning her face. She never says a word. She just stares at me. It’s like looking in a mirror. And it’s strangely unnerving.
“Are we going on a trip?” she asks in a quiet voice, finally breaking the silence.
I smile at her. “We’re going to find a safe place to stay. Somewhere with food and lights.”
“Can I take my doggy?”
I forgot about the small stuffed animal she had when I pulled her out from under the bed. It must be in her bedroom.
“Of course you can. In fact, why don’t we go to your room and get some other toys and books to take. Okay?”
A grin stretches across her face and she jumps off the bathroom counter, then dashes out into the hall without me. I grab the flashlight and bag of toiletries and run after her. She shouldn’t be alone. When I get to her room, she’s filling a small backpack with toys and books.
Male voices float back to us from the other part of the house, and she looks up at me with wide, terrified eyes.
“It’s okay,” I say, kneeling down in front of her. “It’s just my friends.”
She picks up her stuffed dog and hugs it tightly. I zip her backpack and look around the room, making sure there’s nothing else I might need before standing up.
“You ready?” Axl comes in the door behind me. “Angus is gettin’ antsy.”
Of course he is.
I turn to face Axl. “I wanted to talk to you before we got back out to the car.”
He cocks his head to the side. “‘Bout what?”
“I talked to Trey and Parvarti about meeting up in two days, just in case things aren’t good for them. You know they won’t make it on their own.”
He sighs and shakes his head. “I knew you was cookin’ up somethin’. Angus ain’t gonna like it.”
“We have to. You know we do.”
“Dammit,” he mutters. “Where?”
“San Francisco.”
“I’ll see what I can do, but I ain’t promisin’ nothin’. Angus is gonna be pissed.” He grabs the suitcase off the floor and glances over toward Emily, who’s still clutching her dog. “Come on. I got her booster seat outta the garage already.”
A warm feeling rushes through me. That’s something I hadn’t even thought of. “Thank you, Axl.”
He nods to me, but turns toward Emily and gives her a small smile. “You wanna go for a ride?”
She smiles shyly and nods, and my throat tightens when Axl holds his hand out to her.
15
When we get back to the Nissan, I buckle Emily securely into her booster in the second row. Joshua is on the other side of her and Angus is in the driver’s seat, leaving the passenger seat for Axl.
Joshua stares at Emily out of the corner of his eye like he isn’t sure what to do with her. “So what’s the plan now?”
“Need to get some supplies,” Angus says, doing a U-turn.
“There’s a Walmart not too far from here,” I say.
Angus grunts and concentrates on maneuvering the enormous car. He barely misses a truck parked on the side of the road. “Sounds like a plan.”
“And then we can head to San Francisco,” I say, biting my lip while I prepare myself for the argument that’s sure to come.
Angus scoffs. “Hell no, we ain’t goin’ to the city. We gotta find an abandoned farmhouse and get us a generator and provisions. One with animals would be best.”
I wait for Axl to pipe in, but he doesn’t. His back is to me and his shoulders are as stiff as a board.
“We need to go to San Francisco,” I say. “I set up a meeting place with Trey and Parvarti, just in case things aren’t good for them at home. That way they can meet up with us.”
I jolt forward when Angus slams on the brakes. He turns to face me and his face is bright red. “I ain’t drivin’ all the way to the city for some ni—”
“We can’t abandon them!” I don’t want to hear it. I heard it all my life, from my dad and his disgusting friends, and I don’t want to listen to it anymore. It makes me sick. “Tell him, Axl!”
Axl turns and looks at me. His face is blank. “Angus is right. It’d be dumb to go to the city.”
I jerk back, like I’ve been slapped. My lungs are empty. It’s like the wind has been knocked out of me. Axl looks me right in the eye, calmly, totally unashamed of his betrayal.
It takes me a few seconds to find my voice, but when I do I say, “Fine. I’ll go without you. I won’t abandon them.”
Angus laughs and raises and eyebrow. “You wanna drive there by yourself with a little girl? Be my guest.”
“She won’t be alone,” Joshua says. “I’ll go. She’s right, we can’t abandon them.”
I give Joshua a grateful look. Putting himself on the line like this can’t be easy, and getting on Angus’s bad side is going to suck.
Axl slams his hand on the dashboard. “Dammit!”
“Let ‘em go,” Angus says, giving me a cold stare.
Axl looks at me and shakes his head, then curses again. “They ain’t goin’ alone.”
Angus turns on his brother and his face gets redder than ever. That little vein on his forehead pulsates. “What the hell are you talkin’ ‘bout? We ain’t goin’ into the city. That’s the last place we need to be.”
“I ain’t lettin’ them wander off alone,” Axl says. “You can come or not, but I’m goin’.”
Angus lets out a string of profanities so colorful that I actually cover Emily’s ears. She’s going to learn all kinds of new vocabulary being around him. But I’m so thankful I’m not going alone that I’m not even pissed. I wouldn’t have abandoned Trey and Parvarti, but going to San Francisco by myself wouldn’t have been ideal.
Angus starts driving again. He grips the wheel like he’s ready to rip it off. His eyes stay straight ahead. “Tell me how to get to Walmart.”
I give him directions to the store. We don’t pass a single car or person on the way, and I pray it’s because it’s so late at night. Not because the whole world is dead.
The store parking lot is empty except for a few stray cars, and the front door is wide open. The electricity is out, but emergency lights are on inside the building, giving off a soft bluish glow that illuminates the registers and racks through the window. Angus parks in front, and we sit in silence for a few minutes while we check things out.
“Joshua, will you stay in the car with Emily?” I don’t want to take her in, but I need to grab some things.
“I was going to check out the pharmacy,” he says. “Get some antibiotics and other things, just in case.”
I stare at the little girl I gave birth to. It’s hard to think of her as my daughter, it’s just so surreal. But there she is, staring up at me with my eyes, big
and round. Frightened.
“We should all go in,” Axl says.
I sigh and try to smile at Emily. It’s shaky. “You want to do a little shopping?”
She doesn’t respond. She hasn’t said much since we found her. Maybe she’s in shock.
“So what’s the plan?” Joshua asks.
“Angus is gonna go back and check out the huntin’ gear. They don’t carry much, but it’s worth a shot,” Axl says. “I’m gonna get a cart and fill it up with food. The bread’s gonna go bad soon, I wanna take advantage of it while we can.”
“I’ll go with Joshua,” I say. “I wanted to get some things for Emily anyway.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Angus says.
“You two stay together, and keep your eyes open. Never know when you’re gonna run into another crazy person like before.” Axl opens the door and jumps out.
We follow suit and head into Walmart. I carry Emily. She clings tightly to me, laying her head on my shoulder and crushing me in her grip. She’s heavy, though. There’s no way I’ll be able to carry her through the whole store, so I grab a cart and put her in it.
Joshua and I head over to the pharmacy area without saying anything to the brothers. As soon as we’re away from them I say, “Thanks for agreeing to come with me. I knew Angus wouldn’t be a fan of the idea.”
“That’s because it’s stupid,” Joshua says. I start to argue, but he holds his hand up to stop me. “I agree we shouldn’t abandon them. I wouldn’t want to be alone either. But going into the city is a bad idea. We should have chosen a different place to meet.”
I bite back the urge to tell him to go screw himself and walk for a few seconds in silence. It doesn’t take long for me to acknowledge he’s right, though. Somewhere else would have been better.
“You’re right,” I finally say with a sigh. “I just didn’t have time to really plan. I was trying to set it up before Dumb or Dumber got wind of what we were planning.”
Joshua gives me a wry smile. “It would have been nice to have a discussion about it, but we all know how that would have turned out.” He exhales and runs his hand through his hair. “Like these guys or not, I think being with them is our best bet of surviving until all this gets sorted out. If it gets sorted out, that is.”