by M. D. Massey
“Henry…” He gazed down at the table. “What’s going on?” I handed him the jar, a fork, and a bowl. He popped open the jar and poured the peaches into the bowl. He poked at them for a minute before taking a bite. “Henry…”
“Just leave it for now,” he mumbled, taking another bite. He chewed slowly and methodically.
I felt warm hands wrap around my arms. I turned around to see Addie, a touch of sorrow in her eyes. “I think it may be a good time to leave.”
I nodded. “Yes. I think we’ve overstayed our welcome. I apologize.” Henry sat in silence, eating his peaches. “I’m going to start getting our ssuplies together.” I left Henry with Addie.
“How are you doing?”
“Had better days, I suppose,” Henry mumbled, poking at the last peach in the bowl.
“I just want to say something to you. Some motherly advice, but take it how you wish.” Henry looked up at her. “Don’t play with her heart and mind. The only place it will get you is alone.” He nodded. “She loves you with everything that she has. There is no need to test it.”
“I didn’t intend for it to be that way.”
“Then what was your intention?”
“I wanted to see if I could pull the trigger. I’ve tried many times. Obviously, I was unsuccessful.”
“And what did you find out?”
“That I can’t.” He choked on his words. “I love her too bloody much to do that to her.” A couple tears trickled down his face. He wiped them away with his bandaged hand.
“Keep that in mind next time you think about it. Make sure you pull Nick aside at some point and explain it to him.” Henry nodded. She reached out and touched his hand. “I’m going to help Elaina. Just sit and relax.”
I went out to the barn and collected all of the boxes of booze, carrying them back to the truck. I was angry with myself, but I knew that if we didn’t bring them, he would be sick. I wasn’t ready for detox. I went to get the last box as Addie walked up.
“Are you sure you want to bring those?”
“Yes. I’m sorry for offering them to you. I shouldn’t have. He has to have them or he’ll be sick.”
“I understand. Let me help you pack.” Addie stacked the boxes in the truck as I handed them to her. I had a feeling she wanted us to get moving so the kids wouldn’t witness anything more horrendous than they already had.
I walked back inside and folded our blankets. Nick and Claire came out of the bedroom.
“We’re leaving. Pack up.” Eyes wide, Claire looked a little stunned as she turned back around to go back to the bedroom. Thomas helped me gather as much as he could, then ran it out to the truck.
Addie went back into the kitchen and sat with Henry. “Are you guys good with food?”
“For now. I found a bunch of stuff at that store.”
“Okay.” Henry looked down at his bandaged hand. “How’s it feeling?”
“Better,” he mumbled.
“Let’s take a peek at it one more time.”
She unwrapped his hand and examined it, making him hiss a few times. Addie sighed. “It’s not healed yet. It will, though, in due time, as long as you keep it wrapped and you don’t do anything else to it. All right?” He nodded as she rewrapped it.
“Thank you. I’m sorry I screwed it up for everyone.”
“It’s just time for y’all move on. Thank you for taking part in bringing my daughter home, no matter how ungrateful she acts.” Henry softly smiled. “Come here.” Henry stood, and she held him tight. “You take care of yourself and that beautiful Elaina. Make sure you get to someplace safe before Claire has that baby.”
He nodded. “Yes, ma’am. I will.”
“I want you to put forth an effort to quitting your drinking soon, as well.”
“I will.” She cupped her hands around his face and smiled. She kissed each cheek, then let him go. Henry felt a little overwhelmed with the motherly love that Addie showed.
Henry walked into the living room, watching the busy work happening before him. Every time Nick walked by, he glared. I really wished I understood what happened, but I didn’t want to ask. Henry helped carry the rest of the supplies out to the truck.
“Keys?” He held his hand out to me.
“I don’t think so. I watched you drink a little too much. I’ll drive until you, well…until I’m too tired.” I wanted to say “until you sober up”, but it could take months for that to happen.
Everything was packed, we were ready to roll. Addie hugged every one of us. Then Rosa held her hand out to Henry, offering an apology. He accepted. Justin thanked him and, of course, Shay just walked past him. Julianna ran up to Henry. He kneeled.
“Thank you, Mr. Henry.”
“You are very welcome, my little love.” She wrapped her arms around his neck.
She hung on to him until he set her down. “I have a job for you.”
Her dark brown, watery eyes grew bright. “A job?”
I watched the exchange, choking up. Even in his darkest days, such innocence could put a smile on his face. I felt hopeful for him.
“Yes.” Henry held out his pinky. “Now, you pinky swear that you will help Ms. Addie with everything you can. You have to help in the house, out in the garden, and you are not to leave the house alone. Understood?”
She nodded and smiled, wrapping her tiny pinky around Henry’s. “Pinky swear. Will we ever see each other again?”
“I sure hope so, little love. I sure hope so.” He hugged her again. I took his good hand in mine. He looked at me, the tears flowing down my face.
I heard another sniffle and looked over at Thomas. He held Shay while she cried. I had a feeling the two quiet wallflowers connected more than we all knew.
After we all piled into the truck, I turned the key, put it in gear, and backed out of the driveway. We drove south for about an hour before anyone said a word. I was dreading getting to North Carolina. The whole Gunther ordeal made me have terrible anxiety since I knew we were closer than I wanted to be.
Chapter 42
It was another two months or so before we made it to the border of North Carolina. I wasn’t exactly sure of the timing, but it was an eternity. We couldn’t believe it took so long, but we ran into so many crazy things. Between undeads, survivors, bombed roads, and having to hunt for gas, food, and booze, I thought we would never get there…not that I wanted to get there.
When I saw the “Welcome to North Carolina” sign, it seemed quite bizarre that it was still standing. That was the first welcome sign I had seen since we started traveling. Most were either taken out by vehicles or the bombings.
Claire was starting to show a cute little pooch. I liked to touch it, hoping to feel the baby kick. Thomas spent most of his time staring out the window, probably thinking of Shay.
Nick still wasn’t thrilled with Henry, but they took shifts driving so Henry could feed his addiction. I spent a lot of my days crying over it when he wasn’t looking. I just had to keep reminding myself that he was sick.
I hated bearing witness to it, but there was no way he could detox on the road. He needed to have a place to rest and relax before he could even think about it. There were a few times he came dangerously close to running out of booze. He was near full-blown panic mode, but we found a few liquor stores and bars that were untouched.
There were also several times we were almost overrun by a massive herd or two. We all fought with fury, even Claire, against everyone’s wishes…but we didn’t have a choice.
Henry and I had yet another major fight on the road when he was seriously low on booze. I really thought it was going to be the end of our relationship. It was the worst one yet. He was tweaking out, knowing he was close to the end of his supply. His hand shook as it held the last partial bottle.
“Maybe we should just not look for any more,” I mumbled, sitting next to him in the middle of the back seat. He whipped around and glared at me.
“I need it,” he snarled. “Why would
you say that?”
“I hate it.”
“Do you think I enjoy this?”
“Sometimes I wonder.” I crossed my arms and leaned toward Thomas.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Oh, the joys of “Drunk Angry Henry”. Claire turned around, feeling the tension.
“No, I’m not! I’ve seen you get all giddy and act like you’re enjoying yourself.”
Dead silence.
“Pull the truck over, Nick.” Henry’s voice was calm and scary. Nick looked at me in the rearview mirror, asking for approval. I nodded. Before he could put the truck in park, Henry jumped out and grabbed my arm. “Come on!” he demanded.
“No!” I resisted, yanking my arm away from his cold, clammy hands.
“Yes! Let’s have this out right fucking now!” he yelled with grave intensity.
“Fine,” I growled. He stormed off, walking toward the tall, grassy field. As I got out of the truck, I heard Nick and Claire exchange a few words.
“I swear to you, Claire, if he hurts one hair on her head, I will fucking kill him.”
“He won’t. He would never hurt her physically. He may hurt her every other way, but he would never lay a hand on her.”
Henry stopped about a hundred feet away from the truck and waited. I followed with my arms crossed, ready to deflect anything he was going to throw at me.
“What the fuck is your problem?!” he yelled when I was close. He was pretty much spitting mad, as was I.
“The bottle… That’s my fucking problem!”
“How many times do I need to explain this to you?! How many, Elaina?! Please, fill me in so I can cross them off each time we have this discussion!”
“If you don’t stop, I won’t stop!” I stepped right into his chest and gave him my angriest glare. Fucking asshole. Raging loony or not, I wasn’t going to stand there and take his venom.
“I can’t fucking help it! I need it or I will be even sicker. I will hurt more! I can’t hurt more… I…can’t…do…it.” He grabbed at his far-too-long hair and pulled, looking a little panicked. Maybe he was thinking about the pain that was to come when he did have to stop.
“Do you realize what you are doing to us?”
He snapped his head back around to me. “Yes! Don’t you think I see what my fucked-up self is doing? Don’t you think I know exactly what’s happening?”
“Sometimes I wonder!” We were both shouting with our arms flailing around. He took a deep breath and stepped back, looking down at his feet, obviously ashamed.
“I’m not ready to stop.”
“When are you going to be ready? When you die?” I poked him in the chest. “I don’t want this for you!”
“I don’t want it, either! It’s not as easy as putting a cap on it and walking away!” He was screaming at me once again. The next thing that I said hurt me as much as it hurt him, but it needed to be said.
“Every time you lift that fucking bottle to your lips, you take one step farther away from us.”
His body sagged. “Elaina… I love you.”
“You surely have a great way of showing it!” I clenched my fists at my sides.
“I’m so sorry.” He looked as if he were about to cry. I had to turn around because the pain in his eyes damn near killed me. I felt his body get close to mine. He rested his hands on my shoulders. I wanted to step away, but I couldn’t. “I’m sorry I ended up like this. I’m sorry that what you want from me is something I can’t give you right now. I’m sorry about it all. God, I love you so much. It kills me that I’m doing this to you.”
I covered my face with my hands. He wrapped his arms around me and turned me into his chest. For a few moments, I resisted his affection, but then wrapped my arms around his waist.
“I’m so sorry, love.” His voice cracked, and he rested his chin on the top of my head. He took a deep breath and his body shook. “I don’t fucking deserve you one bit.”
We stayed in that position for a few more minutes before heading back to the truck. I jumped into the back seat in my usual spot when Henry wasn’t driving. He got in next to me and closed the door, turning his big body toward the window. We were so close, but so far away from one another.
“Are we ready?” Nick asked cautiously, and I nodded.
He started the truck and we drove off into the late afternoon. Luckily for Henry, we found a bar that was untouched, and he loaded up the truck with his drug of choice.
We pulled up to another house that looked abandoned. It was in a subdivision so, of course, I flashed back to the mangy wrench-wielding douchebags in New Jersey.
Since Henry was passed out, Nick and Thomas got out to check the house. They knocked, getting no answer. Nick tried the handle, but it was locked. He walked back to the truck.
“Wake him up,” Nick demanded. “We need his lock picking skills.”
“Okay. Just give him a minute, though.” I sighed, knowing that trying to wake him in the middle of a drunken slumber could get ugly.
He had pulled a gun on me one too many times for Nick’s comfort, let alone mine. It wasn’t that he was pissed with me for waking him, but he was usually startled, which caused him to instantly go into program mode.
I got out of the truck, walking to the passenger side. I took a deep breath before opening the door. Before I attempted to wake him, I slipped off his ball cap, which was pulled down over his face. I stroked his beautiful bearded face with the backs of my fingers. He moaned and stirred a little under my touch, then crossed his arms in front of his chest, twisting away from me. I decided to try the nice approach.
“Henry,” I whispered in his ear. “Lover… Wake up.” His eyes flickered and he groaned. “Come on, Henry. I need you to wake up.” I reached up and rubbed his shoulder and back.
“What?” he mumbled, still facing away from me.
“We need a professional lock picker,” I said with a playful tone, kissing his ear. He swatted at me like I was a bug.
“Then call one,” he grumbled.
“Henry…”
“Please, Elaina…,” he snapped. “I’m so fucked-up right now.” His words were little more than slurs.
Nick paced impatiently, mumbling to himself. I heard several obscenities strung together with a whole lot of name calling mixed in…directed at Henry, of course.
“I know. I can see that. But we need to get inside for the night, and we don’t want to break any windows.”
“Fine.” After jamming the heels of his palms into his eyes, he opened them. He reached into one of the pockets in his jeans and pulled out a little tool set. Grabbing his hat and putting it back on, he slowly climbed out of the truck and staggered up to the door. I tried to help keep him stable.
Once we made it to the door, we were inside in about two seconds. Apparently, his skills transferred over through his drunken state. Nick and Thomas cleared the house, then brought in all our stuff. It was getting tiresome loading and unloading the truck.
Henry pulled a throw rug against the wall, sat on it, then started in on yet another bottle of wine. Thankfully, my boy scout had a corkscrew in his pocket tool set.
“Can you at least share that with me?” I asked, holding out my hand.
“Are you going to dump it?” he asked, clutching it.
“No. I promise. I would just like a sip or two. Maybe I can relax.” He reluctantly passed the bottle over, and I took a few sips. It was pretty good. I looked at the bottle, realizing it was a pricey one. “Sad that this is being wasted like this, and not on a special occasion.”
“Yeah, really,” Henry mumbled when I passed it back to him. He pulled me close, positioning me in between his legs. I leaned back, and he played with my hair.
No matter how pissed his drinking made me…or him, for that matter…I still loved him and wanted to be close to him. He had moments where I wanted to kick his ass, but for the most part, I just wanted to be in his arms. He was still affectionate, even if he were in a drunken stupor.
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br /> “Let’s get some food into you. You haven’t eaten today yet.” His body showed signs of his own abuse. He was losing muscle tone, drinking more than he was eating.
I felt such a heavy sadness for him because he used to take great pride in his physical fitness. He was always proud of his physique. Before the whole bullshit started, he spent a minimum of two hours in the gym nearly every single day, even weekends.
I got up and hunted down the bag of pretzels and jar of peanut butter we found earlier that day. We all sat around, munching. It definitely wasn’t what I wanted, but it filled my stomach.
“Well, folks, it’s been a pleasure hanging out with you all. I think Claire and I will be going to bed.” Nick stood and helped her up. He grabbed their bedding and picked out a room. I heard the lock click. I didn’t even want to know what his agenda was after I heard Claire giggling.
Claire and Nick laid the linens on the bed. Every time he walked around her, he would breathe lightly on her ear and kiss her neck. His cool breath tickled and made her giggle. After he adjusted the last blanket, he placed his hands around Claire’s hips.
“Finally alone…away from the drunk,” Nick mumbled as he pulled Claire close. “I’m sick of him being so damn drunk all the time.”
“Just remember he can’t help it. He’s sick.” She wrapped her arms around his neck.
“I feel bad for Elaina having to put up with him.” He shook his head, feeling like he wanted to kick Henry’s ass once again.
“She loves him. You have to accept that.”
“Whatever. Enough about him.” He began kissing her, brushing his lips across hers. When her lips parted, he took advantage of it and pushed his tongue in, stroking hers. She moaned into his mouth. “Come on.” He guided her to the bed, making her sit at the edge. He kneeled in front of her. “It’s been so long. I need you. I’ve been aching for you. You feeling up to it?”
“Yeah, I think so. Just take it easy.”