"I was having a beer after a meeting. Liz was there with a friend. She was in Chicago to interview for a management training program at a financial institution. At least that's what she told me that night."
But it all could have been a lie.
"That's the whole story," Liz sighed as she finished describing her heartache as she walked away from the hotel room that morning two years ago. "I took a cab to the airport and caught my flight back to Denver. I went into the office for my meeting...and well...you know what happened after that. Noah was the least of my problems then."
"I'm gobsmacked," Mallory confessed. "All this time..."
"Talking about it was too painful. I would have told you eventually but after awhile, it didn't seem important anymore. I wasn't ever going to see him again after all."
"Except that you have." Mallory shook her head. "You really had no idea? Nothing I said ever made you think it was him?"
She hadn't had a clue. If only she'd had. She would have been more prepared.
"We never told each other our last names. I don't know if it was intentional or an oversight, to be honest. Maybe we both thought it was more romantic if we were a little anonymous. He said that he worked on a ranch in Montana. I bet a lot of people can say that." Liz slumped against the cushions on the couch. "He thinks I've lied to him. I could see it in his face."
Not to mention the questions he'd been trying to ask.
Mallory rubbed her chin. "That bothers you? That he thinks that you're a liar?"
"Of course, it does. Do you want people to think that you're a liar?"
What a crazy question.
"Let me put this another way then. If Noah is just some guy from your past, why do you care what he thinks of you?"
Maybe the question wasn't that crazy after all. The answer was absolutely nuts, though.
"Because he mattered then," Liz finally said after a long silence. "I may have only known him a few short hours but he mattered. His opinion of me mattered, even though it shouldn't make a bit of difference. In truth, we barely knew each other. We were a blip on the radar of each other's lives."
"But he mattered," Mallory said softly. "You cared."
"I cared."
Two simple words but they carried so much meaning.
"And you never forgot him."
"Never."
Mallory chuckled. "I'm not surprised, to be honest. These Anderson boys pack a punch. It didn't take me long to fall for Carter, although our first date was much worse than yours with Noah."
"It wasn't a date," Liz replied automatically. "It was...Shit, I don't know what it was but I don't think we can call it a date. Technically, it was a one-night stand."
The words tasted bitter on her tongue. She'd known that it couldn't be anything else and she'd gone into the situation with her eyes wide open, but she hadn't expected to still be thinking about him so long after that night.
"If you sleep with him again then it wouldn't be a one-night stand."
Wha–?
Mallory must have lost her mind. Clearly, she wasn't thinking straight.
"Are you suggesting that I seduce him?"
No. No way. She wasn't the same person she'd been. She only wished that she was.
"The way Noah was looking at you during dinner I doubt it would take much effort," Mallory snorted. "He looked like he wanted to eat you up with a spoon."
"No, he looked mad," Liz corrected, an image of Noah's face at the dinner table would be indelibly printed on her brain. "He's angry."
"He's just frustrated, and even if he is angry, he'll get over it."
Liz couldn't hold back her laughter at her friend's antics. "Don't ever go into the spy business, by the way. You were so obvious at dinner that you didn't want Noah to ask me any questions."
"I had to," Mallory defended. "Unless you're ready to tell him…"
"I don't know," Liz said with a shake of her head. "I feel like I've told that story a million times. Do I have to do it again?"
"No, you don't. But that's why I kept interrupting him. I wanted it to be your decision."
Mallory was giving Liz that look. She'd seen it for years, all the way back to their college days. It was the one where Mallory was disappointed in something Liz had done but she didn't want to be mean and say it out loud. When they were young it was usually when Liz would go out and party instead of staying home and studying. Now it was for a much different reason.
"You think I should tell him."
She didn't phrase it as a question because it wasn't one.
"It's not my decision to make. It's completely up to you."
"But you think I should. Just say it. You think I should."
"I think...that if Noah feels the same way about that night...he'd want to know. He'd want to understand."
That was the issue. The impediment in front of Liz.
Did Noah feel the same way about that night? She simply didn't know.
And she was afraid to find out.
Noah had told his story and rendered his little brother speechless. That wasn't easy to do as Carter Anderson rarely was at a loss for words, but somehow Noah had managed it.
"Wow...just...wow," Carter finally said, grabbing two more beers from the refrigerator. "That's a hell of a story. You never heard from her again? Ever?"
"Never," Noah confirmed. "We didn't exchange phone numbers or email addresses. Hell, we didn't even know each other's last names. There was no way to get ahold of her if I'd wanted to."
His brother gave him a shrewd look. "You wanted to."
"There were times I thought about it."
A whole bunch of them, but Noah wasn't going to tell Carter that. Shit, he probably already knew.
"So you both made it impossible to contact one another because you didn't think the relationship would work? Do I have that right? Now fate has taken a hand and brought you two together again. Kind of romantic, big brother."
"Since when are you romantic?"
"I can be romantic." Carter sounded defensive, his voice going slightly higher. "In fact, I'm the fucking king of romance, if you must know. Screw you."
Groaning, Noah rolled his eyes. "Right. Sure. You're a regular Casanova."
"For a man that's been given a second chance, you don't act very damn happy about it. You're supposed to be the optimist in the family. Easton's the one that finds fault in everything."
Noah's twin Easton did do that, although he'd mellowed quite a bit since marrying Dizzy. She'd somehow sanded off his sharp edges and made him a better version of himself. She hadn't been trying. She loved Easton for who he was but being in love had changed him, and he appeared to be happy about it.
"A second chance?" echoed Noah. "You think that's what this is? Because that's not what this feels like. It feels like finding out that everything I thought was true was never real in the first place."
Closing his eyes, Carter loudly exhaled. "It was real, asshole. She didn't lie to you. She did work at a bank. As for the name Libby, I've never heard Mallory call her anything but Liz but both of those are nicknames for Elizabeth, which is actually her name, so it isn't out of the realm of possibility that she introduced herself that way. I don't know all the things she told you, bro, but Liz isn't a liar. Mallory has good instincts about people, and she thinks Liz is amazing."
It helped. Knowing that Liz hadn't made up stories, stringing him along. The ache in his chest that had taken up residence when he'd seen her on the other side of his front door eased a bit and he was able to take a deep breath for the first time in hours.
"But she's a pottery artist now? That's a big change," Noah observed. "I guess she didn't get that job that she was interviewing for."
Which made him sad for her. He remembered the want in her tone when she talked about it, the sparkle in her eyes. She'd had big plans for her career and they hadn't worked out.
"But," Noah went on. "That doesn't answer my original question. Why didn't Mallory want me to talk to her? And d
on't say that it's my imagination. I'm not making this up."
"Mallory just wants to protect her friend."
"From me? Why would she need protecting from me? I don't want to hurt her. I just want to talk to her."
It didn't make any sense.
"You and Liz just need to talk to one another," Carter said. "That's what you need to do."
Noah couldn't agree more. He had questions and only Liz had the answers. The biggest question he had...
Was she everything that he'd imagined? Or had his memory fooled him?
He needed - no, he deserved - answers.
8
Liz had tossed and turned most of the night, her mind not letting her rest. She couldn't get the images of Noah out of her head - in Chicago and then across the table from her last night. Mallory thought she should tell Noah about her life but she wasn't quite sure that was the right thing to do.
Just what did their time in Chicago mean?
She needed to know. Once and for all. Had she built it up in her memory and made it more than it was or had he felt the specialness of that evening the same way she had? She'd thought about him so many times over the last two years, especially when it felt like there were no good people in the world.
"Hey, are you almost ready to go?" Mallory called from the hallway. Liz was ready and dressed to go to breakfast. All she needed was a little lipstick. "My stomach's grumbling and groaning."
"I think I'm ready," Liz said, shoving the tube of lipstick into her oversized bag, along with her wallet and keys. "I'm starved, too."
Mallory 's head popped into the doorway as Liz loaded up her bag. "Then let's get going. They might run out of food before we get there."
"That probably won't happen."
"Just in case..." Mallory stepped in the room and frowned, reaching out her hand to rest on Liz's arm. "What are you doing?"
Liz looked down at her handbag in confusion. "I would think it's self-explanatory. I'm getting ready to go."
Her friend pointed to the interior of Liz's purse. "Can you explain what I just saw you doing?”
Ah, I see where you're going here.
It appeared that Liz and Mallory were about to have a serious conversation.
Liz pulled the stun gun from her purse and held it up. "You mean this?"
"And that," Mallory said, pointing to the handbag again.
Laying the stun gun on the bed, Liz retrieved the handgun from her purse and set it next to the stun gun. She'd learned to shoot it about eighteen months ago. "This?"
"Yes, let's start with that."
Liz didn't answer right away, instead walking over to her suitcase on the floor and pulling out a can of pepper spray. "Or did you mean this?"
Mallory's face paled. "Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the camel, you're a walking arsenal. What's going on? You're loaded for bear and it's just a wedding."
It was funny how Liz hadn't imagined this moment. She'd swept it from her mind like so many other unpleasant and thoroughly stressful things that she didn't want to deal with. She'd hoped that Mallory wouldn't notice but she should have known better. Mallory noticed everything.
"You can't be too careful," Liz replied, tucking the pepper spray back into her suitcase. "I just want to be able to protect myself, that's all."
Mallory held up her hands in surrender. "Listen, I totally get that and this is Montana, my friend. No one is going to think that you're wrong for carrying a gun but I'm just shocked to see you do it. You were pretty anti-gun for self-protection when we were in college."
Liz shrugged carelessly, not meeting Mallory's gaze. "Things change. People change."
"I guess they do. I was simply surprised, that's all."
Listening for any sort of censure in her friend's tone, Liz placed the stun gun back in her purse. "I'm sorry I surprised you. I don't want you to worry that I'll do anything stupid like shoot my foot. I've taken classes and I know how to handle a firearm. I have a permit."
"I'm sure you do."
For some reason, she couldn't let the subject die. She wanted to explain until she was sure Mallory completely understood.
"I'm not going to be someone's victim. I'm prepared."
This time.
Mallory's face crumpled, her eyes filling with tears which only served to make a lump grow in Liz's throat. She hadn't wanted to become emotional. She'd cried far too many tears and she was tired of it.
"Liz, honey...this wouldn't have made any difference." She waved her hand toward the purse. "You know that, right? It wouldn't have helped."
You don't know that. Not for sure. Neither of us do.
"I could have–"
"No," Mallory said, her tone firm. "It wouldn't have made any difference. Where was your purse? In your desk drawer? Were you even at your desk?"
No, I was in the conference room.
Liz had played out the scenario in her head a million times, each one just a bit different than the one before it. Sometimes she was even victorious.
"I might have been able to do something," she finally said. "Maybe..."
She didn't know what else to say. The dubious expression on Mallory's face said it all. She didn't believe a word of it.
"You had a security guard, right? He was trained and he wasn't able to do anything."
"I know that."
Liz did know. But in her head at two in the morning, it didn't matter. She only knew that she was compelled to protect herself. She never wanted to go through that again. She wasn't sure she'd survive the next time.
Tentatively, as if afraid her friend would bolt, Mallory reached out her hand and placed it on Liz's arm. It felt warm and comforting but it didn't calm the churning in her gut or silence the annoying voices that told her she should be afraid. Doubt and fear had become her constant companions. The friends she could count on to be there for her whenever she was all alone.
"It was awful but you survived. You survived it, Liz. No one got hurt and everyone walked out alive."
Liz would have argued that many people had been hurt, but the wounds weren't the kind that you could put a bandage on. They were deeper inside and far more insidious.
"I know you're right."
It was logic, after all. She couldn't argue with logic. All she had were her emotions and they were all over the place, but extremely powerful.
Sighing, Mallory pulled her in for a hug which Liz returned. She'd missed her friend. Talking on the phone or Skype wasn't the same.
"Knowing I'm right doesn't make any difference, does it?" Mallory asked, resignation in her tone. "You're still scared."
"I don't like that word very much. I'm...cautious. I think I should be. The world is a dangerous place."
Mallory stepped back and shook her head. "Actually...it's not. Violent crime isn't going up. It's going down. The chances of something bad happening to you again are astronomical. Like you have more chance of being struck by lightning."
Liz gave a shaky laugh. "Statistics were never my strong suit."
"Are you still seeing your therapist?" Mallory asked softly, although there was no one to overhear.
"She moved to another state about eight months ago because her husband got a new job. I haven't found a new one yet."
I also haven't really looked, either.
"Maybe you need to search a little harder."
That awkward sentence had Liz smiling. Her friend was so sweet.
"That's the nicest way possible to tell me that I'm batshit crazy."
"You're not crazy," Mallory denied. "But I worry about you. I don't think this paranoia is healthy. I can totally get behind carrying one of these weapons, but all three? You only have two hands."
"I'm not paranoid. I'm cautious. There's a difference."
"Okay, you're cautious. I just don't want you to ruin your life worrying and waiting for something bad to happen to you. That's no way to live."
Living? Liz couldn't say that she'd been living life to the max lately. Mostly, she'd been existi
ng. She'd been better in the last year but she wasn't the person she was before.
It all came back to the before... Now she was living in the after.
When she didn't say anything, Mallory pulled her in for another hug. "Please don't be mad at me. I just want to help you."
"I'm not mad." Liz pushed the words past the lump in her throat. "I could never be mad at you. It's just...everything is different now. I wish I could go back in time but I can't. I have to deal with the here and now but it's not easy."
"I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you."
"But that's not why I'm here," Liz protested. "I'm supposed to be here to help you."
With the last-minute wedding details, of course. Not with mental health issues.
"Maybe we can help each other. That's what friends do."
It couldn't hurt, and she'd never been one to turn down a genuine offer of help. Heaven knew, the last two years hadn't been easy.
"I may take you up on that."
"I'll hold you to it, but we can't do anything on an empty stomach. Let's go get some breakfast."
That was a plan that Liz could support. Coming here may have been the best thing that she'd done in a long time. She just couldn't stop wondering, though...
What if...she hadn't taken that early flight back to Denver? What if she'd stayed with him?
Then her before and after might have been very different. And so much better.
Sunday dinner at the Andersons. Liz had heard a few stories from her friend but this was going to be far more stressful than a simple meal. Mallory had tried to prepare her but the only thing Liz could think about was that Noah would surely be there. She'd have to see him and yes, she was going to have to speak to him. After discussing it over breakfast, Liz was convinced that they needed to talk.
"The whole family will be here," Mallory said for the sixth or seventh time that morning. They'd pulled up in front of the main Anderson house where the parents lived and the minute her friend put the car in park, Liz's heart had almost galloped out of her chest. Plus, there was stress sweat pooling on the back of her neck and under her arms. She had to resist the urge to give herself a sniff. "Do you remember what I told you about them?"
Dancing With Danger (Danger Incorporated Book 10) Page 5