And she'd been taking his son with her.
What she hadn't counted on, Jessie thought grimly, was how much a blond woman with a baby would stand out in Tamir. Nor had she been aware that the Sebastiani royal family was big news here, as well, in part because of the long-standing enmity that was only recently resolved, and the marriage of Lucas's sister to their own crown prince.
Of course, her own overtipping of the taxi driver hadn't helped. She should have realized that would have made him remember her.
She sat in the back of Julia's limo, cuddling Luke, trying not to fume. Not that she could fault Julia's behavior. Ever since Julia had arrived at the airport to pick Jessie up after she'd been spotted and stopped, she'd been unfailingly sympathetic. In fact, she'd insisted that Jessie listen in on her side of the conversation as she called her "idiot brother," as she had labeled Lucas.
So now, at the cost of having the intimacies of her most private life revealed, she at least knew how she'd been discovered. It seemed the royal family of Tamir had tentacles as long as the Sebastianis did. And her mouth twisted as she realized the unpleasantness of the metaphor she'd unconsciously chosen, and how well it fit her current mood.
Julia replaced the car phone in its cradle in the back seat of the limo. Julia probably never thought twice about it, Jessie mused, whereas she marveled each time she climbed into one of the elaborate vehicles.
After a moment Julia looked at Jessie, shaking her head. "He's just so...male. He assumed because of last night, everything had been fixed between you."
Jessie's cheeks flamed as she recalled Julia's comment to her brother about "great sex." God, would the humiliation never end?
Julia patted her arm. "Don't be embarrassed, Jessie. We're practically related, after all."
The breezy assumption stiffened Jessie's spine. "No, we're not."
Julia studied her for a moment before looking at the baby and saying, "I meant, related through Luke. I am still his aunt, no matter what happens with you and Lucas. At least, I hope I am."
Feeling suddenly chagrined, Jessie apologized. "I'm sorry. Of course you are." Feeling the need for more of an explanation, she went on. "It'sjust that everyone seems to assume that it's a done deal."
"A...done deal?" Julia asked. "What a descriptive expression. So, what is it, Jessie, Lucas or the expectations of others that has you so determined you won't marry him?"
Jessie grimaced, not liking the sound of it when Julia said it. "My objections are real and valid," she insisted.
"If you mean Luke's future, in a way I can understand that, even if it is very American of you."
"I am American. And so is my son."
"But he is Montebellan, as well."
"And when he's old enough, he can decide for himself which heritage he prefers."
"What if he wants both?"
Jessie looked down at her tiny son, at his innocent, trusting face, and the thought of him ever being disappointed or denied something he badly wanted wrenched at her heart. "Then we'll have to find a way."
"Then why can't you find a way now?"
"Because," Jessie said flatly, "your brother doesn't have an ounce of compromise in him."
"It's not a Sebastiani trait, I'll admit."
"Nor a Chambers one," Jessie confessed.
"But my brother has never been in love before, either." Julia eyed Jessie narrowly. "He does love you, you know."
"So you said."
Julia grinned. "You stick with that, girl. Don't let him off the hook until he tells you himself, and to your satisfaction. He might as well learn now that the words are always necessary. Repeatedly."
Jessie felt herself tear up unexpectedly. "I wish that was all it would take."
"Rashid and I had over a century of feuding to overcome," Julia said. "When the love is true, barriers that seemed insurmountable once are not so difficult."
"How can I jeopardize my son's freedom?"
Julia sighed. "There are many kinds of freedom, Jessie. You and Lucas must find one that you can agree upon."
"And if we can't?"
Julia looked at her then, then shifted her gaze to the window. She sat in silence for a very long time, until Jessie became edgy, wondering if she should speak.
Finally, Julia said quietly, "I was once forced into a marriage I did not want. It was a hell I would not wish on anyone."
"I didn't know," Jessie said, finding it hard to believe the self-confident Julia could be forced into anything.
"I prefer to forget it myself. He thought he was doing what was best, but it was a very long time before I forgave my father."
"I'm sorry," Jessie said, meaning it. And realizing this was the reason behind that pointed exchange of glances between Julia and her father, the king.
Finally, Julia turned her head to look at her once more. "I could not countenance another woman being put in that position. If you will go back and talk to Lucas, if you will truly explore every avenue, and then still feel you must leave, I will help you."
Jessie blinked. "You will?"
"I will. I love my brother, and I love my country, but I know the pain you face, at least some form of it. I will help, if you become convinced there is no other way."
"You are indeed," Jessie said quietly, "your mother's daughter."
As she'd hoped, Julia's smile lit up her face. "Thank you. Now, please, you will stay with us tonight. Give that thickheaded brother of mine a night alone to realize what he's nearly done. Then you can go back and pound some sense into him, I believe you Americans say?"
"That's what we say," Jessie said with a smile. "Thank you, Julia. I can't tell you how much your understanding means to me. And for you, if nothing else, I will try."
Julia's warm smile was thanks enough. "It helps that I once walked in shoes nearly as tight as yours, does it not? If you wish, and if you trust me, you may leave Luke here, so you do not have him to worry about while you are trying to work things out."
"I—" Jessie hesitated, and Julia smiled.
"I understand, and I promise you my feelings will not be hurt if you say no. There are few I would trust with my baby, as well."
That decided her. "No. Please, yes, it will help if I do not have to worry about him. I'm not," she said frankly, "quite sure of myself in the role of mother."
"Jessie, my dear, I'm not sure any new mother is. If I couldn't turn to my own mother for advice, I don't know what I would do."
"That must be wonderful," Jessie said wistfully.
"You can turn to her, too, you know. There's nothing that would thrill her more. And of course, we could learn motherhood together, you and I."
Jessie knew her surprise must show in her face; she'd never thought of that side of things, that marrying Lucas would come with a built-in support system of sorts, a family that she didn't have on her own.
She quashed the familiar pang at the thought of the sister who had betrayed her, and concentrated on trying to decide what to do. Finally, she realized that if Julia and Rashid could set aside the enmity of a century or more, the least she could do was talk to the father of her son.
* * *
Lucas wondered that he hadn't worn a thin spot in the expensive rug in his retreat, as much pacing as he'd been doing. Since he'd hung up with Julia, he'd been a wreck. He'd awakened this morning to find Jessie gone, but knowing she'd planned to spend the day with Julia, he hadn't thought much about it. Until his sister had called with the news he still found so hard to believe.
Last night had been goodbye.
That knowledge colored every memory now. Every remembered touch, every lingering look took on a new significance. Looking back now, he could see them as if she'd been saving them up, storing them for a time when she would be gone.
He jammed a hand through his hair and turned to pace back the other way. But if she felt that way, why on earth would she leave?
.. .you never told her that you—you Lucas, not the ranch hand she fell for—loved her, and s
till do.. .No wonder she thinks you only want her because of Luke.
How could she think that? Luke hadn't even existed when they'd fallen in love. For that matter, Lucas Sebastiani hadn't even existed.
You abandon her and only come back after you have Luke. Instead of proposing, you give her a job description. You never tell her you love her—what do you expect her to think?
He didn't want to believe it. Didn't want to think he'd bungled it that badly. And then his own thoughts from last night came back to him, hauntingly. He'd gone so far in trying to convince her that he'd changed... he'd managed to convince her he wasn't the man she'd fallen in love with on her ranch, either.
"Damn," he muttered, spinning on his heel to start in the opposite direction. "Now what?"
Irony, he thought, had a very bitter taste. He'd always been more concerned with getting women to leave him alone, be it women with an eye on his future crown for themselves, or their mothers with a drive to matchmake for that crown. He'd been the one dancing to avoid the snare; never had he had to try to get a woman to want him.
Of course, he didn't just want Jessie to want him, he wanted her to love him, like she'd loved Joe.
Like she 'd loved Joe....
His pacing came to an abrupt halt. And after a moment, he nodded to himself and reached for the phone.
Chapter 18
Jessie didn't think she'd ever get used to traveling by helicopter. The noise alone gave her a low-grade but persistent headache, and the way it rose and swooped and sometimes seemed to be pointing nose down made her faintly nauseous. She'd give anything for her tired old Ford pickup right about now.
But this was the easiest and quickest way to get from Tamir to Montebello, and it seemed churlish, after all Julia had done, to ask for some other mode of transport this morning. And it wasn't Julia's fault that her night on Tamir had been restless and nearly sleepless, making her less able to deal with flying in the royal family's sleek aircraft.
The helmeted pilot with mirrored sunglasses seemed quite proficient, however, lifting off and landing quite smoothly and neatly in the parking area between the wing of the palace that housed the throne room and the one that housed the picture gallery and map room. As she was clambering out the side door she caught the movement of the pilot from the corner of her eye as he pulled off the shiny sunglasses to give her a grin and a rather snappy salute.
"As they say in your country, I believe, give him hell, Jessie," he said. "And remember, I will come back for you any time, you have only to call."
She stopped in her tracks in shock, realizing that she had been delivered back to Montebello by none other than Rashid Kamal himself.
"You?" she asked.
"I have to take every chance I get to fly," he said. "And besides, last night Julia made me promise you'd get here safely. And back, if that was what you wished." His grin widened. "And last night, after an entire day away from her, I would have promised her anything."
Such pure love and joy glowed in his dark eyes that Jessie felt a strange hollowness inside her. For a moment she envied Julia. What she wouldn't give to have someone look at her like that....
But once, someone had. Joe had.
She yanked her mind out of that futile rut, and with a smile and a quick thank-you to Rashid, she continued carefully down the steps of the chopper. Her hands were free except for her purse; she'd made the decision to leave the bag she'd packed for herself and Luke inTamirJust in case. She supposed that was hedging her bets, when she'd promised Julia to give this an honest try, but she saw it as a small, subtle reminder of how much was at stake.
To her surprise, there was a welcoming party of sorts waiting for her. Lloyd Gallini and Josie Sabina, standing nearly at attention as she descended.
"Welcome back," Lloyd said, and Jessie wondered if the barely perceptible hesitation had been on the word "home." "If you will come with us?"
She shivered slightly; the simple words seemed ominous somehow, like something a cop would say to a suspect. She tried to laugh it off, and succeeded to a great extent, but a certain edginess remained.
As she walked toward the palace, the helicopter lifted off, with considerably more speed—and at a more rakish angle—than it had taken on the trip here, and she realized Rashid had actually toned down his flying for her sake. At Julia's suggestion, no doubt, Jessie guessed. The woman thought of everything.
And I'll miss her, Jessie thought, finding it surprising she could feel that way upon such short acquaintance.
She caught herself then, and reminded herself that she had promised Julia to give this an honest try. Just as she had promised Lucas, once. And she had tried, she thought. She had tried, and she didn't see what could possibly change now to make it work.
Once inside the palace, Lloyd closed the doors, turned to her and said formally, "If you would please change into riding attire? Mrs. Sabina will assist you, and then I will escort you to the stables."
Assist? Escort? Jessie wondered, suddenly suspicious that she'd been assigned watchdogs to make certain she didn't leave again.
"And why am I going to the stables?" she asked, trying her best to imitate the imperious tone she'd heard from Queen Gwendolyn on occasion.
"Because Prince Lucas requests it," Lloyd said.
Jessie bit back the sharp response that leapt to her lips, the instant refusal she wanted to give simply because of that annoying assumption that she would dance to Lucas's tune just because he was a prince. A dozen comebacks raced through her mind, but all of them were a bit snappish, and would go against her promise to Julia.
"It's a good thing he requested instead of ordered, or he'd have been disappointed."
That alone startled the staid pair enough to blink at her; an accomplishment that at least made her smile as she went into her room to change her clothes. The sight of baby Luke's empty crib gave her a pang, which was followed by a sudden jolt of fear. What if this was all some elaborate plot? What if Julia had convinced her to leave Luke in Tamir so she could hand him over to her brother?
Shaking, she sank down on the bed. Her heart battled with her gut, and the result was the terrible sort of nausea that she knew from sad experience came when you were afraid you'd been a lethal fool.
You're being ridiculous, she told herself. You 're just overreacting because of what happened before.
But that didn't help ease the nausea. After all, she'd totally misjudged Ursula. But then, Ursula was—had been —her sister, and who would ever believe such a thing of her own sister?
Jessie pictured Julia in her mind. Julia with her wonderful smile, lovely laugh and impish charm. Pictured her with her own baby son, a look of pure, maternal joy on her face. Tried to imagine that woman taking Luke away from her. She couldn't make the image form. It was impossible, even more impossible than believing the sister she'd always known was self-centered and bitter had done what she'd done.
If Julia is really that kind, Jessie thought, then I'm too much of a fool to raise a child, and he'd probably be better off here.
Besides, if that was the plan, they'd have simply gotten rid of her and kept Luke, and probably long ago.
She took several deep breaths to calm herself. When she was feeling steadier, she got up and went to the closet. She'd had to leave clothing here, in order to keep to the single bag for herself and Luke. Everything she'd acquired since she'd been here hung there; she hadn't felt right taking any of it, and had made sure it could be returned before she'd agreed to take any of it in the first place.
But she'd also, in order to make room for Luke's necessities, had to leave some of her own things. Including, fortunately it seemed now, a pair of jeans and a blue light cotton sweater. She changed quickly; she wanted to find out what was going on, fast.
When she opened her bedroom door after changing, she found Josie waiting outside patiently. "Your leader really must be afraid I'll bolt again," she said. Josie tactfully pretended not to hear her comment, and merely gestured her down the
hall to the grand staircase. After descending, they went out the side door where the electric carts were parked. There Lloyd was waiting in the driver's seat of one of them, apparently ready for the escort duty he'd mentioned before.
"I can walk, thank you."
"His Highness was very specific."
"I'm sure he was. I can still walk."
"I'm afraid I could not explain why I allowed that to happen," he said stiffly.
Great. Now I'm responsible for keeping the staff out of trouble.
With a sigh, Jessie climbed into the seat beside him. When he gave her a startled look, she realized he'd expected her to get in the back seat, as if this were a limo and she were royalty.
"I'm just a plain ranch girl from Colorado," she told him rather sharply. "I don't do royal."
He blinked again, and Jessie could have sworn the corners of his mouth twitched. "Very well," was all he said as they started toward the stable.
She'd expected to find Lucas there waiting, perhaps astride his flashy stallion. He wasn't. Instead, when she walked into the barn as Lloyd indicated she should, she found the lovely Ghost saddled and waiting, and beside her Mario, aboard a rather nondescript-looking bay.
It wasn't until she got closer and could see past Mario's horse that she realized with a little shock that the mare was wearing Western tack. A brand-new-looking stock saddle, and a tooled leather bridle with a pair of silver conchos on the headpiece and silver ferrules on the reins.
She looked at the groom in puzzlement, but he merely smiled and shrugged. "I do what His Highness asks, miss. If you will mount and follow me, please?"
She couldn't deny she was touched by the gesture. Closer inspection showed the saddle was from one of Colorado's top custom saddle makers. And when she swung up onto the gray's back, she found—without surprise —that the seat was perfect for her, neither too big nor too small. In fact, it was very similar to her own saddle at home, just newer.
And a lot more expensive, she added to herself as they set out.
They rode out of the stable yard, and the bay turned in a different direction than she'd gone before, up away from the sea instead of toward it. Curiosity kept her silent for the first part of the ride, but as they continued upward, she began to wonder.
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