by Jaye Cox
I turn around and take a deep breath; I can do this and I want this. I have to give myself a quick pep talk about a man seeing me naked like this. I take a few more deep breaths and do as he asks. When I look up at him, he’s looking down on me and the look in his eyes makes me feel beautiful―like all that is right in the world, is because of me. It’s a nice feeling to be looked at like you’re being treasured. "It’s decided,” He says, “this is how I want to see you all the time. You have to be the most beautiful and breathtaking thing I have ever seen.” He lowers himself onto me, still with his towel wrapped around his waist and kisses me. I start to grind my hips into his because my body has taken on a mind of its own, when I grind a little harder and feel his erection through the towel. He kisses down my body and runs his tongue down until he’s circling my clit. He licks down lightly until I can feel his tongue inside me. "Oh God, Rayne. Please!” I beg as I want him to keep doing whatever it is he’s doing. Once he starts to suck on my clit, I raise my hips into is face. He slides his hand down my body to my ass and lifts me up closer to his mouth as he slides a finger inside me. I let out a low moan and arch my back, I have my hands in my hair as he pumps his finger inside me, flicking over my g-spot. I feel his tongue moving faster and he’s gently moving me up and down to ride his fingers while he massages my clit with his tongue. I automatically match his pace as his fingers and tongue are moving at the same time. It’s like all the blood has rushed between my legs. “Rayne. Don’t stop. Yes!”
He moans against me which sends shockwaves through my body causing my legs to tighten around him and my back arches while my nipples harden. The grip I have on his hair tightens as the speed of his fingers and tongue get harder and faster. I move my body in time with his when a tingling feeling begins to gather in one spot, then explodes through my body. I feel myself tighten around his fingers as my body starts to quiver. He moans again and the vibration causes me to scream out, taking in the intense pleasure that’s rippling through my body. He crawls up beside me and holds my hand. I feel like every last ounce of energy I had left in my body was just drained out with my orgasm, and I yawn. "Go to sleep the sun will be up soon and it’s so much harder to sleep. I’m going to write a bit then I’ll join you.”
"What are you writing?
“Some original songs. We’re trying to add a few to our set at Paulie’s, so people can hear our stuff.
“Could you play me something quickly before you go?" He doesn’t say anything but he just grabs his guitar and sits on the edge of the bed as he starts to play Sex on Fire by Kings of Leon. I love his voice and how manly it sounds. I curl up in the sheets and my eyes start to close to the sound of his voice and it’s the last thing I hear before I fall asleep.
CHAPTER SIX
I’ve stayed at Rayne’s nearly every night for the last two weeks, much to my father’s disgust, but he won’t be reasonable about Rayne coming over. Even after Tommy tried to convince him Rayne wasn’t so bad. Half the time he doesn’t know I’m even there since he works so much. I like staying here. The guys are nice to me and I found out Dex is actually really funny. Romeo, besides his good looks and charm, is a smart man, but I get along the best with Morris and Sam. They’re such an adorable couple; they’ve been together since they were in high school. I think over the last two weeks, I’ve come out of my shell a little. I’m not so uptight and worried about what people think about me and I don’t feel like everything I do here will be judged. Having fun is like the number one rule, and I’m really enjoying feeling free.
I lift Rayne’s arm off me and get out of bed. Since I’m naked I grab his shirt from the floor and find my mini shorts – the ones I had on last night under my work skirt. I’ve told Paulie I’m all for the skimpy uniform, but I refuse to let my ass hang out for the drunks to grope. Once I’m dressed, I find a hair tie in my bag and go to get a drink. The house is quiet as I sneak down the hallway and into the kitchen. It’s a mess, as usual so I wash a cup and that turns into me doing all the dishes as I couldn't help myself. I really like things to be clean and organized, and this is the messiest, most unorganized bunch of people I have ever met.
Once I’ve done the dishes and wiped everything down, everything except the rum can tower; I leave that, since I suppose the guys have spent so much time on it. I get Rayne’s iPod and tuck it into my shorts, put in the earbuds and find his original songs, which I can’t stop listening to. As I start to tidy up the rest of the house, I decide to change the music to something more upbeat. I scroll through and see the playlist he added named ‘Tiny Dancers Girly Shit,’ and Beyoncé’s Crazy in Love blasts through my ears. I dance around the lounge room picking up dirty clothes to wash and stacking shoes at the door. Once the floor is clear, I pull out the vacuum, I’m surprised they even own one. I start up a load of my clothes since I have nothing clean left here and add everything I found lying around the house. I don’t worry about waking anyone up since they could all sleep through an earthquake. I’m vacuuming and dancing, and when I say dancing, it’s more like funky booty- shaking, but it makes cleaning more fun. I spin around and stop dead in my tracks to Dex and Romeo standing there smiling at me. I take out the earbuds when I realize Dex is trying to say something. "Morning, Tiny Dancer.”
"It’s afternoon, Dex."
Romeo laughs, "Yeah, Dex. It’s the afternoon."
I shake my head at them as they sit on the couch and turn on the Xbox. Dex is in his usual undies and nothing else. He tattoos part-time during the week by appointment. I’ve looked through his portfolio and he is an amazing artist. Romeo is always fully dressed and perfect; never a hair out of place. He works with his father, but I’m not sure what he actually does. Morris works in a music shop that sells instruments and teaches some form of martial arts to kids in his free time. How they all got jobs so quick is amazing. I even got Sam a job at Paulie’s and she starts this weekend. "Hey, girl,” Sam says as she walks out from her and Morris’s room. “You have a smoking hot body. You should show it off more often."
I look down and remember I had tied Rayne’s shirt up under my boobs because I got hot cleaning. Not only that, but I’m wearing mini shorts. "That smokin' hot body is mine, you pervs. Find someone else to look at" Rayne says walking into the lounge room in nothing but boxer shorts hung low on his hips, which instantly makes my mouth water.
"I could say the same about you, cowboy,” I know he hates when I say it, but I find it funny.
"I don’t care what I’m wearing but could you put some clothes on?” He says. You could hear a pin drop as the room goes silent and all eyes are on Rayne and me as I process what he just said.
"I have clothes on. What’s your problem?" He walks toward me with a blank stare in his eyes and I wonder what I’ve done to piss him off. He stands right in front of me and says, "Put some clothes on or leave." I’m so angry and so upset he would speak to me like that. I know he must have something else on his mind. "Talk to me, Rayne. Please, what’s going on? This isn’t about you wanting me to cover up.” I pull his shirt down to cover my body and try to calm him down so he’ll snap out of whatever has gotten into him. This isn’t Rayne and I don’t know who this is standing here in front of me. He grabs the front of my shirt and pulls me to him, "I’m an asshole. I told you that, but you don’t care.” He doesn’t scare me. I know he won’t physically hurt me, but I don’t know where this is coming from.
"I don’t care! I don't care - are you serious? I fucking love you!" Oh shit. I realize I said that out loud, and everyone is looking at me like I’ve just lost my mind. I don't lose my shit like that so I wipe my eyes and start to leave the room. "Always and forever," I whisper to myself as I walk away. I just made a fool of myself and told Rayne I loved him. This was not how I had planned on telling him.
"Tiny Dancer, wait,” Rayne says, following me into the kitchen.
"Why? So I can embarrass myself even more in front of your friends."
"We all love you Tiny Dancer. Fuck! I love you, more
than words can describe. It scares the crap out of me because love is not enough for me. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I'm so screwed up." I’m not sure if he’s talking to me or himself as he pulls me into a hug. “I’m so sorry. I wish things were different, I wish I was different but for now, this is how it has to be."
"Why? Please tell me why?"
"I wish I could, but just know I really do love you," he says, looking into my eyes. I can see he means it, but how can we work if he doesn't trust me enough to let me in.
"I believe you're sorry Rayne but I won’t be treated like that. I’m going to go home for a few days to think. We need to take a step back; maybe we’ve just spent too much time together too soon." He doesn’t say anything, just hangs his head. "I need to check in with my father and Tommy anyway. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” He hugs me so tight I can feel his pain through his touch. I wish he would talk to me and I’m sure he will, when he’s ready.
I call Tommy to find out where he is because I need to talk to him about this. Even though he doesn’t want Rayne and me together, he reluctantly agreed not to interfere with my relationship. It’s not what we do, even if we don’t like the other person’s partner, but I had to remind him of a few past girlfriends I despised and had to be nice to for his sake. The drive to the University takes about twenty minutes. I pull over at the University cafe and see Tommy sitting there already waiting for me.
"Hey Bells," he says as he stands to give me a hug, "I ordered for you since I knew you’d be hungry.”
"You know me so well. I’m always hungry."
"What happened? You sounded upset on the phone?"
I explain to him everything that happened today with Rayne. When I’m done, he has a weird look on his face and his jaw is tense. "Bells, I can’t respond to that right now. I’m sorry, but I can’t. I won’t say anything you’ll want to hear, ok?" I just nod and hope he doesn’t see the tears forming in my eyes. I’ve never seen Tommy like this before.
"I have to go - I’ll call you later.” He promises but his fists are closed tight and his jaw clenches together tighter. A young girl around my age comes out and hands me my sandwich and I thank God he ordered it takeaway.
"Tommy, don’t. Please just leave it - you said you wouldn't interfere.” He doesn’t say anything but just starts walking away from me, so I follow him to his car and beg him not to go see Rayne. He only tells me to go home and drives off and I curse myself for not trying to find a parking spot closer to his car, now I have to run to my car and try to catch up to him, but he’s long gone. I know he’s gone to see Rayne.
I pull up in front of Rayne’s house and see Tommy’s car is already here, just like I knew it would be. I race inside and hear them arguing "I told you not to fucking hurt her. You know she’s special and you're going to fucking ruin that."
"I love her! I fucking told her I’m no good and she doesn't care; she wants to be with me anyway."
“Fuck what she wants, Rayne. Walk away so someone who deserves her has a chance."
"Do you mean someone like you Tommy? Is that it? Well I hate to break this to you but she doesn’t love you like that, and she doesn’t want a Knight in Shining Armour coming to her rescue."
"Of course I love her. She’s my best friend. We’ve done everything together for over half of our lives."
"Fuck off, Tommy. I love her and I might be an asshole but she’s mine now, so back off." It goes quiet for a second and I hear a thud. I run into the rumpus room and see that they’re fighting. I run over to stop them, but big arms grab me from behind, "Easy there,” says Romeo.
"Let me go, Romeo."
"Just leave it alone. They need to sort this out themselves and they don’t need you jumping in the middle and getting hurt. Dex and Morris should be inside in a minute. I’ve got you, since I know you’ll run as soon as I let you go."
Dex and Morris run in as he speaks and pulls them apart. Tommy has what will soon be a black eye and Rayne has a busted lip. Tommy pulls away from Morris and storms over to me, "Come with me, please. You don’t need this - you're too good for him." I can’t look at him because I know I’m not leaving with him. I love Rayne and he’s worth it to me; the good and the bad.
"I can’t, Tommy; I’m sorry, but I just can’t - I love him," I whisper.
“You would pick him over me?” Tommy doesn’t say another word as he leaves and I feel guilty because it’s always been me and him. He’s always protected me and I just threw that back in his face. I’m scared I have just ruined our friendship but I know he’ll forgive me as it’s not in him to hold a grudge, especially against me. I go over to Rayne who’s sitting on the floor with his head in his hands. I kneel down beside him and put my head against his. “You two need to work it out. I can’t choose between you both, I can’t. He’s my best friend and I won’t lose him.”
He grabs my head and kisses me like his life depends on it. It’s raw and needy, my heart hurts with whatever pain Rayne is carrying. I taste something metallic and remember he has a busted lip so I pull away and check his lip. I kiss it lightly while he just looks at me, like he’s looking for any reason someone like me would love him. I hate that he thinks less of himself and doesn’t see what I see; how amazing he really is. "I love you so fucking much it hurts. It makes me crazy that I know I’m not good enough for you. I will suck you into my world of crazy and you’ll drown in it. You should leave me before you’re in too deep.”
"I jumped in the deep end the moment I met you and you saved me. I found something I didn’t know I was missing until I met you. So don't tell me you're not enough because you're all I need and all I want. If you’re crazy, then I’ll be crazy right beside you.” We sit for a few minutes not saying anything and just looking at each other when Sam and the guys come back in. Sam is the first to speak, "Come on Isabella; we’re going out while the guys rehearse." She grabs me by the arm and pulls me up. I see I’m still wearing the mini shorts and Rayne’s shirt.
"Go change. I dried your clothes and put them on Rayne’s bed."
"I’ll come with you,” Rayne says with a smile. It’s nice to see he’s back again. He watches me change and Sam comes barging in and grabs me by the arm,
"Bye, Rayne.” He waves as she grabs my keys off the bedside table with her free hand and drags me to the car, driving us to the shopping Centre. I’m not sure why we’re here as there is plenty of food at the house.
"What are we doing, Sam?"
“I’m going to give you a makeover.” I look at her skeptically because I don’t think I need a makeover.
"What’s wrong with the way I look?"
"First off, princess, you need new make-up. That shit you wear is caked on so thick I’m not even sure what you really look like underneath it. Second, your clothes scream, I’m little Miss Rich Princess,” she says matter of fact. That’s what I love about her, she’s straight to the point and doesn’t care what you think. You either like it or you don’t. "We need to rock you up a bit. You told me last week that you wanted to do something crazy and after today, I think crazy is perfect.”
"Ok, let’s do it,” I say. What do I have to lose except a few hundred dollars? After two hours of clothes and shoe shopping, we stop and get hair dye and scissors. Sam swears she can cut hair, though I’m not reassured when she says, "it’s only hair - it’ll grow back.”
When we get back to the house the guys aren’t home, so Sam gets to work on my hair. We decided on red; not overly bright red though. I talked her out of that straight away. Goodbye blonde hair, goodbye old me. I want to find out who I’m and I don’t want to be the perfect daughter; the perfect friend; or the perfect anything if that’s really not me. Maybe it took meeting Rayne to make me realize I don’t need to be perfect to be liked or to fit in. I can only be me.
After the timer goes off, Sam washes my hair out and tells me I’m not allowed to look until she gives my hair a trim. We decide to leave some length; she curls it a little so it looks natural, takes off my m
akeup and puts on just enough to make it look natural, which makes me feel naked without my face on. She then makes me change into a white dress with black ankle boots she has picked out topped with a leather jacket we found that matched Rayne’s. To me, this outfit is ridiculously mismatched, but I take her word for it and go change. Once I’m allowed to look in the mirror, I love it - the hair, the clothes, the makeup - I barely recognize myself. I go out to the kitchen to show Sam and she’s gob smacked. I think it’s the first time I’ve seen her so quiet. "You look fucktastic.”
"Thanks, Sam."
"Let’s get our drink on before the guys get back,” she says as she pours us both a Jack and Coke. I go to the freezer and get myself some ice; it’s the only way alcohol is bearable for me to drink.
"I’m going to put some music on. Any requests?”
"Yeah, I have a Chili Peppers Greatest Hits CD in the player. Just hit CD 3,” Sam instructs me. I go into the lounge room and fiddle with the CD player. I have no idea how to work the thing because it looks like a space machine with all its buttons and lights. I hear the front door open and the guys come in, being less than quiet. "Looks like we have some fresh meat in the house boys.” I don’t bother to turn around yet because I think I have totally gotten the CD player to finally work.
"Fifty bucks says Romeo bags that by the end of the night," Morris says. I smile to myself as they have no idea it’s me.
"Fuck off, Morris. Fifty bucks says she’s in my bed within the hour," this comes from Dex, which shocks me.
I decide to put a pin in their egos and turn around. "Fifty bucks says Rayne bags me tonight, boys." They all look over at me wide eyed and a bit slow processing that it’s me.