by Jaye Cox
"Sweet dreams."
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Do you ever feel like everything is going so perfectly and you’re just waiting for something to happen? For life to say you didn't think it was going to be that easy, did you? That’s how I’ve been feeling as the days go by; my life seems to be going perfect, the baby is fine and its Rayne’s birthday soon. I have planned the perfect day. We will find out the sex of the baby and I plan to tell him I think we should try giving our relationship another shot. I’ve spoken to Phillip about it in my sessions and he thinks what happened that night has changed him. Now that he has no secrets, he is no longer a ticking time bomb and we deserve to be happy. In the last few days my belly has started to pop out and I have gone from looking bloated, to looking a bit like I have an ET belly. People are starting to notice I ’m pregnant. Winter has now arrived and it’s freezing, and my pants from last winter are getting way too tight. Everyone is working today and nobody is able to come shopping. Dex says he might be able to meet me for lunch. Tommy didn't answer, so hopefully he’ll call me back soon. I make my way to the shopping centre and go into Bras and Things first. It’s the best place I can go at short notice, I will need something new, all my old bras are starting to get a little small and I plan to wear something sexy on Rayne’s birthday for after his party. Everyone says he is the king of ruining surprise parties, he always expects them and somehow gets it out of his mother, so I have told everyone except her. James has agreed to tell Audrey I’m taking Rayne out for his birthday this year and she can organize something for after his birthday - that way he can harass her all he likes and he won’t get anything from her.
"Can I help you in there?" the sales lady asks. I have been in the dressing room looking at myself in the mirror for about ten minutes, I love my new pregnancy body, but will Rayne like it?
"I’m fine thanks," I say, collecting the stuff I was trying on. I open the door and it’s not the sales lady at all, it’s Kandi or Kandace - whatever her name is.
"I saw you walk in but I had to see for myself," she says, eyeing me up and down. I feel unsettled and she is freaking me out.
"See what?" I ask.
"That." she says, pointing to my belly.
"What’s it to you anyway?" I ask rather rudely, because now I’ve gone from scared girl to protective mumma bear and cop or not, this bitch better watch what she says.
"Ask Rayne about what he has been up to with Razor lately," she says as she walks away with a smile on her face. One thing I have learned from seeing Phillip, isn’t to jump to conclusions, just stay calm and go straight to the source and find out the facts especially after what happened that night. I pay for the lingerie and go find some new winter clothes. I manage to find a cute jumper, a few pairs of leggings and boots. That should keep me going for now. I feel my phone buzz to find a text from Dex.
DEX: Hey Tiny Dancer, on my way, meet you in the food court.
ME: Nearly there : )
DEX: See you in 5
I walk towards the food court and as I pass a men’s clothing store and catch a glimpse of Kandi, Razor and Tammie all talking, I get a sinking feeling in my gut. I can't help but take another look and when I do Razor is looking straight at me; if looks could kill I would be dead right now. I speed walk away as fast as my legs will take me; I know he is following me, I can feel it. I don’t look back I just keep walking - what can he do in public anyway? I run into the disabled toilet since it seemed safest. I’m the only one person in the room and the door is locked. I send off a text to Dex to let him know where I am...
"Juliet, I know you're in there," he says.
"Leave me alone," I yell back through the door.
"Don't be like that, I only want to talk," he tries.
I text Dex and tell him to hurry. "I don't want to talk to you."
"If we don't talk now, we will eventually, you can bet on that."
"Go away!"
"Tell my brother I said congrats on the baby, I always wanted to be an uncle." He is taunting me, and he knows it. But what I’m most confused about is Kandi and Tammie, and I want to out Kandi as a cop, but I don't in case she is still undercover, even though I’m sure Rayne would have said something if she were. There’s a knock at the door.
"Please just leave me alone," I say through the tears. I’m stressed out from being locked in the toilet with a crazy drug dealer, who also happens to be my baby’s uncle.
"Open up, Tiny Dancer - it’s me, Dex." I undo the lock and fling myself at Dex. I know it’s not very lady-like to fling yourself at your friend, but I’m desperate for a hug right now.
"Are you okay?" Dex asks.
"No. He said we had to talk and knows about the baby. I saw him with Kandi and Tammie, in the shops"
"Slow down, I don't understand what you're saying. Rayne will be here in a minute."
"You called Rayne?"
"He is the police, Tiny Dancer. It’s his job. Let’s go eat while we wait." I just nod. He is holding my hand, but walks a step in front of me as we walk to the food court like he is protecting me, and it’s nice to feel so loved by so many people.
"I love you, Dex," I say, and he stops suddenly causing me to run into his back, and I realize what I said didn't come out the right way.
"Shit Dex, I didn't mean I love you, I love you," I say.
"I know what you meant, Tiny Dancer."
"Then why did you stop like that?"
“Let’s just get something to eat and I’ll explain." We find a seat and when he asks what I want to eat, I tell him one of everything is fine. He just smiles and shakes his head at me. He comes back with a tray full of food. Even though I’m a little shaken up I can still eat, I’m always hungry.
"Before, when you said you loved me, I didn’t mean to freak out, my wife was the last woman to say she loved me, and it just bought back some memories of her," he says.
"You were married?"
"I still like to think I am; my wife died and it’s hard to talk about. I’m sorry for being vague, but I’m not ready to talk about that day yet," he says, and I can see the hurt on his face.
"Just know I’m here if you ever need to talk. Can you tell me about her while we wait?" He tells me all about how he met his wife, how awesome she was and all about their life together. Her connection to a few of the guys was how they met; she was Romeo’s sister and Sam’s best friend. I now know Sam and Rayne met through the police force. I don't know why I never knew any of this, but I have a feeling no one likes to talk about her, because it brings up so much pain for all of them. We hear a commotion and when we both turn to see what’s is going on, Rayne is running towards us in uniform.
"This is why I didn't want to call him," I say, giving Dex the evil eye and he just smiles and shrugs his shoulders at me.
"Tiny Dancer, are you okay?" Rayne asks when he reaches me.
"I'm fine, you big idiot. You just made a huge scene," I point out.
"This is serious, Razor is dangerous and he followed and harassed you," he says.
"He is smart, he didn't technically threaten me but he was with Kandi and Tammie." He looks at me while he processes what I’ve said. Sam comes walking over and whacks Rayne on the back of the head
"Don’t do that again, you idiot," Sam says.
"Do you know why Kandace would be hanging around with Razor?" Rayne asks Sam.
"No idea, let’s keep this between us for now," Sam says motioning to the other two officers who have just walked over.
"I’m going to kill the son of a bitch if he comes near you again," Rayne says, as he paces back and forwards. I reach my arm out, pull him into a hug and whisper in his ear, "Have I told you how hot you make me when you're in uniform?"
"Fuck, you can't say things like that, now I’m hard," he says adjusting himself.
"That will teach you to maybe wear underwear to work."
"Are you sure you’ll be okay?" he asks, changing the subject.
"I’ll be fine, I will get
Tommy to come keep me company until you or Ty get off work. Why are there so many officers here?"
"They’ll find Razor and bring him in. The Sergeant doesn't want me near him until after his trial. The bastard will try anything to get out of his charges," he says.
"Say goodbye, Rayne, we have to go now." Sam grabs Rayne by the arm.
"I will call you when I knock off," he says walking backwards, Sam still pulling him along. I forgot to ask what Kandi meant by asking him about Razor, but I will tonight because I know he won’t stay away after today. He would sleep outside my window if he had too.
"You ready?" Dex asks.
"Yes - let’s go."
"Thanks for telling me about your wife today, I wish I’d gotten to meet her," I say.
"She would have loved you, like we all do." I give him a hug and he goes stiff at first, but gives in when he realizes I won't let go until he hugs me back.
"Ok, Tiny Dancer, enough of this. Let’s get you home to rest," he says.
He walks me to my car and tells me he will follow me home on his bike to make sure I get home safely. I pull up the driveway with Dex right behind me, who tells me to stay in the car while he checks the house. I tell him to stop being ridiculous, because I don’t see why Razor would come to the house, but Dex assures me he is crazy with nothing to lose since he is going to jail anyway. I decide to humor him and wait in the car, even though I think he is the one being crazy. When he comes back out after a few minutes and gives me the all clear, I laugh and tell him being undercover with Rayne has gone to his head and he should stick to tattooing. I really enjoy spending time with Dex. He may look all tough with his tattoos, but under the surface he has a heart of gold. We spend the rest of the day planning Rayne’s surprise party. I do most the planning and talking, while Dex just listens to me. Tommy finally calls me back - he was in class all day and didn't get my calls or messages until he got home. I tell him not to rush over, and I’m fine, but he insisted on coming anyway. I make him promise not to tell my father or I would kill him. He is slowly getting to know Rayne and I don't want him to think this is all Rayne’s fault. By five Ty is home, Tommy is also here, Romeo is here because Dex called him, and Morris should be here with pizza soon. Sam ended up calling him and both she and Rayne should be here soon too. They are all crazy, making sure I’m okay. Tommy and Ty are plotting against me, because they think I should have gone and got the baby checked. Then Dex joins them and says they’re right stress isn't good for the baby.
"I'm going to have a shower and when I get out you will all stop with the freak outs. I love you all but there is such a thing as over caring and you're all crossing the line." As I storm off to the bathroom, I can hear Romeo say, "Yeah leave Tiny Dancer alone or she might stab you in your sleep. She is one feisty mumma since Rayne knocked her up."
"I heard that Romeo; and you’ll be first on my hit list," I yell out as I open the bathroom door.
"I will sleep with one eye open now. I’m kinda scared," he yells back. I turn up my iPod really loud just to annoy them all with my love songs playlist. I don’t listen to it often, but a playlist that contains a lot of Celine Dion songs is sure to get a rise out of the guys.
"Pizza is here," Rayne says as he comes in the bathroom. I don't know how many conversations we have had about him sneaking into the bathroom when I’m showering but now it seems like our thing.
"I'm just about done, can I ask you something?" I say. I need to know about Razor and with everyone here it will be a long night.
"You can ask me anything Tiny Dancer - no lies remember?" he says. I turn off the water and open the curtain, in hindsight that was a bad idea, he is still in uniform and looks smoking hot in blue. I thought I loved the leather jacket and boots, but this is something else. I just stand there naked, undressing him with my eyes, and when I regain control over myself, I look up to see he is doing the same thing to me.
"You need to cover up Tiny Dancer. A man only has so much self-control - now what did you want to know”
"Kandi; when I saw her today she said something about asking you what you have been up to with Razor?" He goes quiet and I know that’s not a good sign. "Rayne?"
"Can we go to your room and talk about this?" he suggests. We go into my room and as I’m getting dressed he starts to explain.
"Since Razor was released until his court date, Sam and I have been tracking him to make sure he doesn't come after us. I don't trust him and Ty helped us hack his phone, so when we need to find him we can. The day I came over and you thought I was here to see Ty; I was actually here because we couldn't find him. That was also the day Ty hacked his account, but for Kandace to know that means Razor has some knowledge we’re watching him. I know Sam wouldn't say anything, and our suspicions that Kandace has some contact with Razor is now confirmed." he looks at me. I should be scared I’m possibility a target, but I’m a little bit angry and upset he lied to me when we agreed to no lies.
"You lied to me," I whisper.
"Tiny Dancer, it wasn’t like that."
"What was it like, Rayne? You had some feeling he might come after us and you didn't think to tell me?"
"I didn't think he would actually approach you. He thought you were Romeo’s girl."
"Well your friend Kandi made sure to tell him as soon as she got a chance. Did you guys have a thing or something, is that why she hates me?" He doesn’t say anything, so that answers my question. "Please leave, I don't want to talk about this anymore," I say.
"We were never together in a relationship but I did fuck her. I’m sorry if that hurts but I can't change what I did before you, Tiny Dancer. I didn't give a fuck about anyone or anything all. I was driven by the hate and revenge and I fucked a lot of women. They would make me hate myself for the way I was treating them and for that split second I hated myself, I didn't have to hate my own brother.”
"I know I can't change your past and it’s not that you fucked her that I have an issue with right now. It’s that you didn’t tell me about Razor or about her, just get out."
"No, we have to talk about this - I won't walk away from us ever again." he says.
"Fine, then I will leave." I run out the door, but he just follows behind me.
"Just stay Rayne, I need some air" I lie. I plan on leaving, but I know he will follow me. Everyone is standing there not knowing what to do.
"How many of you knew about Razor and Kandi? All the lies? When will you all stop? It’s too much - stop trying to protect me, I won't break," I say, and no one says anything. I walk outside, and when no one follows right behind me I take it as a sign they actually listened. I get in my car and back out as quickly as possible and drive away. I need to think, I need to understand why they would all lie again. Am I really that weak and fragile? I only do a few laps of the block and go home, I’ve calmed down enough to be semi-rational. I walk back inside and they’re all still in the lounge room. I storm past everyone, grab a pizza and a bottle of water off the table; I take it to my room and slam the door. I think they all get the message to leave me alone.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Rayne and I have seen Phillip a few times now to sort out all this stuff with Razor and it has helped. As much as I was pissed about him lying, I do understand why he didn't tell me. I made sure to mention he has to do some serious ass kissing in the meantime.
They’re still keeping tabs on Razor, but only by his phone now so they can figure out if it’s Kandi, who figured out what was happening and told Razor. Sam and Rayne still don't know why she would be giving away information to Razor, but I’m positive it’s her. I’m sure it’s because she has a huge thing for Rayne and is trying to hurt him for not wanting her; girls can be spiteful and vindictive, especially if they feel hurt or betrayed by someone.
We’ve not heard anything else from Razor, so I’m sure it was just a case of being in the wrong place, at the wrong time on my behalf. I don't believe he was there following me or to harm me. I think his subtle threats wer
e to just scare me and get to Rayne. Talking it through with Phillip helped me see I shouldn't let them get to me and take away from me being happy.
Tommy walks in as Ty leaves for work; they have all taken it upon themselves to be my babysitters. I tried to argue with them until I was blue in the face, but it did me no good. It was seven against one, eight if you count my father, even though he doesn't know about what happened with Razor. Tommy keeps blackmailing me and knows I will do whatever it takes not to tell him, so they all won and now someone is with me all the time. "Hey, Bells" he says, he isn't his bright cheery self today.
"Hey, what’s up?" I ask, as he takes a seat next to me.
"Natalie broke up with me."
"I'm so sorry. You should go fix things with her and not be here babysitting me like I’m a child."
"Bells - things have been rocky for a while, I thought she could handle our friendship, but I was wrong. We’ve been best friends since forever and I don't want to be with someone who won't accept that."
"I thought she liked me though."
"She did like you Bells - she just didn't like that I would drop anything to help you."
"You shouldn't drop everything for me. If you love her, she should come first."
"What’s done is done and I don’t know if I love her."
"Well it still sucks. Now I need to go do some last minute shopping for Rayne’s birthday and since I have to have a babysitter, I saved it all for your shift, because you're the only one who doesn't bitch about it, so let’s go." That’s the awesome thing about Tommy, he doesn't mind shopping. Growing up with just his mum and a female best friend has truly moulded him into perfect boyfriend material. He even puts the toilet seat down when he is done. We really have taught him well. Now he needs to find a girl who isn’t threatened by our relationship. I take Tommy to the caterer to make sure everything is as I planned it. My father tried hard to convince me he would barbeque but I told him I had already paid and that there is only so much barbeque food people can eat. Besides, Rayne’s mum would flip out if we had barbeque at a birthday party for her son.