Gently I lifted Aaron from his arms, he was sleeping peacefully. “He drifted off about three,” he said, “I think what the doctor gave him has kicked in.”
“He said it should work fast,” I said.
Aaron woke with a cough and looked at me, his little face screwing up as if he was annoyed at having his sleep interrupted. “Hey little man,” I said, “are you going in to work Alex?”
“I don’t think so, not after last night. I think I’ll go and hop into bed for a bit if you don’t mind.”
I leaned over and kissed him. “I appreciate what you did last night, it meant a lot. Go and get some sleep.”
His phone rang an hour later and I answered it. It was Lisa. “Where’s Alex?” she said.
“Getting some sleep. Our baby is sick.”
“Well can’t you look after it?” she asked.
“Him, not it and it’s not really any of your business Lisa. Alex isn’t coming to work today,” I said.
She sighed. “That won’t look good to his father. Alex needs to put the company first.”
“Oh don’t give me that crap, his father would want him to take care of his wife and child. I’m not sure he would like you putting words in his mouth either,” I said.
She hung up on me so I went about my day. Aaron had another big sleep and both he and Alex woke in the afternoon.
The rest of the week was awful. While Aaron got better, Lisa just got more and more demanding and soon we were barely seeing Alex again. Spontaneously she had apparently decided to wine and dine all the companies top clients and of course she needed a Mercer to go along.
It drove me insane as Alex was often out before I woke up now and got home after I had gone to bed. Distance breed suspicion too and although I knew he loved me, doubt began to creep in about his relationship with Lisa. Was something more going on? Things were coming to a head and coming fast. I could feel it.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Time together
I tried to get on with everything as best I could, but Alex’s constant absences left a big gap. There were days I didn’t want to get out of bed I was so tired and if I was honest more than a little depressed.
Aaron kept me going, his little face so much like his father’s and I loved being with him. It had taken another week for him to get over the cold he had and neither of us had much sleep in that time. Most of my days were spent sleeping when he did and at night I missed Alex more than ever.
He was coming home every night but frequently well after I was asleep and it became common for us to not see each other for two to three days at a time. I hated it but he was never home to argue about it. More than anything I missed his company. When Rebecca had moved out we had kept in touch but things weren’t the same. Alex had become my best friend and now I felt like I had nothing.
Colton was concerned but I told him now I looked forward to Damian coming back more than ever. At least then he could sort out the work related issues. It felt like my life which had been as perfect as we could make it had all been destroyed in a matter of weeks. I even wondered if Alex would even notice if I took Aaron and went back to New Zealand.
On the third weekend, Alex was around in the daytime and disrupted the routine that Aaron and I had gotten into. It wasn’t really his fault, he didn’t know but I was tired and cranky and we fought.
“Aaron always has his nap at this time Alex, you’ve overexcited him now and he’ll never sleep,” I said.
“I didn’t know that, his nap time used to be later in the day when I was at home with him.”
“Well maybe that worked for you but it doesn’t work for me,” I said.
“It’s not about you Natalie, it’s about Aaron and what works for him,” he said.
I swear I wanted to hit him. “Actually Alex it’s about what works for both Aaron and I as it’s become normal for us to be by ourselves all the time. Are you going to be around when he won’t go to sleep later? Or when he wakes up in the middle of the night because he’s fallen asleep too early?”
“Stop being so dramatic Natalie, if that happens just take him back to bed with you. He sleeps better that way,” he said.
“I sleep better when my husband is in bed with me but that doesn’t seem to happen very often anymore,” I said, “I’m so tired Alex, I need a break and you’re never here.”
“I’m here now. Besides, don’t you have Colton around to help you?”
“He’s getting to know the city, and isn’t around that much. Besides, he has his own life, why would he want to be near us and our screwed up one?”
“I don’t like him being around you anyway, I still think he has a thing for you.”
“And you think that I would what? Have sex with a minor? Sleep with someone who isn’t you?”
“I don’t know Natalie, you’re being so crazy at the moment and tired all the time. How do I know you’re not sneaking around behind my back?”
At that I just stared at him. “Where on earth is this coming from? Do you really think after everything that I would do that? I’ve given you no reason to be paranoid, shame I can’t say the same for you.”
I was so angry now and in the past when we had argued there had been amazing make up sex. Not this time though, this time he crossed the line and I went right along with him.
“I don’t know Natalie, spending time with Colton when you know he has a thing for you might not be a good idea. It’s not good to encourage him,” he said.
“I’m not encouraging him. That would be very hard to do,” I said.
“I can’t see how. He’s a hormonal teenage boy,” he said.
“With a crush on you,” I screamed. I clapped my hand over my mouth. There went my promise to Colton not to tell anyone his secret. “Alex, please. Don’t tell him I told you that whatever you do. I promised not to tell anyone.”
He stared at me. “I’m sorry Natalie, I know you wouldn’t cheat on me as I wouldn’t cheat on you. You’re not the only one who’s tired and over all of this.”
With that Alex pulled me into his arms and just held me while I cried. All the while Aaron played with his toys on the floor and barely noticed us. Alex scooped him up in his arms and carried him to the bedroom to quieten him down for sleep.
“Put your feet up babe. I’ll get him down for his nap and come back to take care of my girl,” he said.
The only problem was that I didn’t really feel like his girl right now.
When he came back I was lying on the couch and he asked me to sit up, and put my head on his lap. We used to sit like that sometimes back home, just the two of us in front of the television and I felt a pang of homesickness.
He stroked my head with his hand. “I’m sorry Natalie. I am trying but work has just been so demanding.”
“Work meaning Lisa,” I said.
He sighed. “Yes.”
I didn’t feel like talking anymore so I lay there, his hand resting on my head. Sleep overtook me and I woke a few hours later with a pillow under my head and no idea where Alex was.
Aaron was in his highchair and I realised I could smell dinner cooking. “Just in time,” Alex said as he carried the plates through from the kitchen.”
I smiled. “It smells great. Thanks for cooking dinner.”
He kissed me. “You shouldn’t have to thank me Nat, I should be here doing my fair share and I’m sorry that I’m not right now.”
I wrapped my arms around him. “I’m just so over this Alex, and I still think you need to talk to your father. He’s the only one who can fix this.”
“I’m not interrupting his honeymoon,” he said, “and I’m not arguing with you again. Let’s eat and when Aaron goes to bed, see where the mood takes us.”
Despite our distinct lack of sex life, it was the last thing on my mind. All I really wanted to do was to crawl into bed and get more sleep, but if Alex was making the effort then so was I.
“Sounds great,” I said.
That night he was so tender
and loving it brought me to tears. “Hey, are you OK?” he asked. He had been kissing my breasts and stroking me between my legs.
“I’ve missed this,” I whispered.
“So have I,” he said, “more than anything. I hate coming home when you’re asleep. You always look so peaceful and I don’t want to disturb you.”
“Disturb me,” I said and pulled him down to kiss him. This time my tongue felt for his and he moaned as I showed him how much I had missed him.
He sighed. “Nothing is as sweet as kissing you,” he said.
I wanted to laugh, it was so cheesy but he had such an earnest look on his face I didn’t have the heart to.
In the morning I woke to find him watching me. “It’s nice to see you still here,” I said.
“I was thinking of going for a walk if you and Aaron would like to join me. The weather is so nice out there.”
“That sounds great,” I said. A wave of nausea hit me and I rolled out of bed, running to the bathroom as fast as I could.
“Shit. Nat. Are you all right?” he asked.
He appeared in the doorway and rubbed my back while I was sick.
I stood up and splashed my face with cold water. “I’m fine, I don’t know what’s come over me. Maybe something didn’t agree with me.”
“Are you making smart comments about my cooking?” he asked.
“No,” I said and laughed. “I think I will be going back to bed though and not come for a walk.”
He brought Aaron in for his breakfast and then dressed him to take him out. “We won’t be long. We’ll just get some fresh air and be back. You try to get some sleep.”
I lay back down, smiling to myself. This was the return of the man I loved, my partner and friend. All I could do was hope it continued, I was dreading Monday and his return to work.
It wasn’t long before I fell asleep but when I woke I rolled over and saw that my love had returned and left me a rose on the bed. Just one red, long stemmed rose and my heart felt like it wanted to leap out of my chest.
In the time that we had been together, Alex had never brought me flowers. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to but we never had the spare cash for him to spoil me. The gesture touched me and I picked it up, carrying it out to the living room where he sat on the floor with Aaron.
“Thank you,” I said.
“I thought of you when I saw it,” he said, “now I can afford to spoil you a little.”
“It’s not the money I care about and you know it,” I said.
He smiled at me. “I know Nat and I promise things will get better.”
It got worse before it got better though. Monday morning and he was back to in his routine where I barely saw him. I spent a few days fighting the nausea that kept hitting me and decided it was just because I was so tired.
There wasn’t much longer to go though, that much was true. Two more weeks and Damian would be back. Whatever happened I planned on giving him a piece of my mind. This whole situation shouldn’t exist. He needed to tell Alex that he respected him, that he loved him and he needed to sort out the whole Lisa problem.
He still didn’t wake me when he did come home, I assumed because he didn’t want to disturb me. I hated the thought that he spent more time with her than he did with me, it took everything in me not to go into that damn office building and cause a stink but I didn’t have enough confidence to throw around who I was. Clearly neither did Alex.
The only thing keeping me going was Aaron. My beautiful child who had no clue what was going on and I wondered if he missed his father or if he was just too young to notice. He was growing so fast and was now eight months old.
Every time I looked at him, I saw his father in him and it hurt all over again. I just wanted to wrap him up in cotton wool, protect him from all the bad things in the world. For now, we would wait and see what happened when Damian came back. I couldn’t imagine things could get much worse.
I think I was disappointed more than anything. Alex had run away from his life and responsibilities for me. He had made a stand for what he loved but now he just seemed to fade when it came to sticking up for what we had.
It hadn’t taken long for things to get to this point and I had no idea what to do about it. We had been so happy when we had nothing but now we had everything and were miserable. I was homesick and more lonely than I had ever though possible.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Breaking Point
Alex was in the kitchen when I got up. I hadn’t seen him awake in days and he was about to leave again.
“Hey,” he said as he passed by, giving me a quick kiss on the lips.
“Hey yourself,” I said.
I followed him out to the door. “Any chance you could be home for dinner tonight? I think we need some time together.”
“Sure,” he said, “sounds good.” He was either so tired or distracted I had my doubts he would even remember.
At lunch, Aaron looked up and grinned. “Dad” he said. I stared at him, he had babbled for ages but this was as clear as anything.
“Say it again baby,” I said.
“Dad,” he said proudly, “Dad Dad Dad.”
I grinned, and then felt overwhelmed by sadness. Alex wasn’t here to hear it but maybe I could convince him to come home.
Dialling his mobile I got his voicemail and left a message. Aaron was still happily chatting at the top of his voice and I smiled at the sound as I called the office. “Alex Mercer please.”
Instantly I was transferred through to that woman, Lisa’s PA and she answered the phone with that nasally annoying voice that I had come to hate.
“I’m so sorry Mrs Mercer,” she said, “they are in a meeting and really can’t be disturbed at all.”
“That seems to happen a lot lately,” I said with a snap, “perhaps you can tell him it’s about his baby son and urgent.”
“They said they were not to be disturbed under any circumstances,” she said, “I could let him know you called.”
“Are you actually stupid?” I asked.
“Pardon me?”
“I told you it was urgent. What would you do if something happened to our child and Alex didn’t know about it. Put me through to him or I will come down to that office and shove this phone down your throat.”
“There’s no need for threats Mrs Mercer,” she said.
I sighed. “Look. It’s really simple. I am Damian Mercer’s daughter in law. If you don’t put me through to my husband right now I will let Damian deal with you.”
The tone on the phone told me that I had been hung up on.
I burst into tears and Aaron started crying in sympathy. “Oh sweetheart,” I said, picking him up out of his high chair and holding him close, “I’m trying, I really am.”
In the afternoon we went to the playground nearby to get some fresh air. Aaron watched the older children running around and I could see my baby was longing to join them. “Soon my love,” I said, kissing his little face while he giggled.
Cooking dinner, I couldn’t help but feel that Alex was going to be a no show. It seemed to be the theme at the moment and I wondered how it had all fallen apart in such a short time. We hadn’t really known each other when we got married, a three month whirlwind affair and then six months apart. Marriage was a means to an end though, apart from anything else it was to keep him in the country and now here we were halfway across the world from the country he had wanted to stay.
Maybe now we were in the States he had realised he didn’t really need me. We barely spoke to each other now and things had deteriorated so quickly. I was so lonely, being in a different country with no one around that I knew and I realised for the first time just how homesick I was.
A small town girl who had moved to the big smoke of Auckland which had nothing on New York. Now I was surrounded by enormous buildings and alone, so very alone.
Aaron was playing on the floor and I smiled watching him, oblivious to what was going on around him. Surely
he was missing his father. If Alex had no time for me he had had even less for Aaron.
When the phone rang I was so happy to hear Rebecca’s voice but not the words she was saying. “What the hell is going on Natalie? What is Alex up to?”
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“I just saw some woman’s magazine with an article about you in it. It says you and Alex aren’t together anymore.”
“What the hell?” I said.
“I’ll scan it and email it,” she said.
We stayed on the phone while I waited for the email to come through and I reassured her we were still together. “Whatever it says, it’s wrong,” I said, “he’s busy at work now we’re back and still settling in but we’re still together.”
“It’s on the way,” she said.
And then I saw it, the article all about my husband. It was some gossipy article with a big photo of him with Lisa out on the town. The article below was hideous, it went into detail about his return home and how he had been reunited with his former fiance. It painted me as the whore who had forced him into marriage by getting pregnant and said he was truly happy now to be back with Lisa.
Aaron made a noise and I looked up at him. Those big brown eyes looked back at me and I felt a stabbing pain in my heart at the sight of my son, so much like his father. Alex had been my whole life, now I was sure I felt him shattering my heart into a million tiny pieces.
“Natalie? Are you all right? Troy wants to come over to sort him out, he said he feels betrayed and that he thought Alex was a good sort.”
“He is Rebecca,” I said, “he still is and it’s not true.”
“I’ll leave you to it then,” she said, “but you tell me if you need anything.”
“I will but we are fine,” I said, no longer completely sure I was telling the truth.
I knelt to pick up Aaron and held him so tight he began to protest. If that was what Alex truly wanted, what would happen to us? Here I was in a foreign country with my baby whose father’s family was richer than any other I knew. I didn’t know what I’d do if Alex tried to take Aaron from me, the thought had never even crossed my mind and I felt guilty thinking it even now.
After The Fall Page 13