I busied myself with picking up the living room as the boys' chatter drifted from the kitchen. Dylan reappeared a few minutes later.
“The boys went out back to kick around a soccer ball,” he said. “I asked them to give us a few minutes.”
“Okay.” I drew out the word, unsure of what he wanted from me.
“Can we talk?”
I turned away from him to straighten the pillows on the couch.
“California.”
I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. Hearing Dylan say my name in the same way he always had only reminded me how much I'd been hurt. I knew now that I hadn't loved him as much as I'd always loved Jamie and that wasn't fair to him, but he'd still cheated on me.
I turned finally, meeting his sad eyes. Neither of us wanted to be there, in that moment.
“I brought a test.” His words were soft, almost scared. “I don't want to do this.”
“I know.”
“But we should have done it a long time ago.”
I nodded my head in agreement.
“Whatever this test says,” he went on. “Jackson is my son. You can't take that away from me.”
I hesitated slightly before reaching out and taking his hand for the first time since our marriage blew up, because that was what happened. One day we were fine, and the next the truth was out and everything was destroyed. I could still see Dylan playing with baby Jackson at the beach, truly happy.
“I wouldn't do that,” I said finally.
“Isn't that why you're doing this?”
I released his hand, thinking of the events of the day before. “No, Dylan. I'm doing this because we all deserve to know. That includes Jamie. But you're the reason it's happening now.”
His shoulders dropped. “I shouldn't have barged into your holiday like that. I'm sorry.”
I wasn't ready to accept his apology when I didn't know where Jamie's head was at, so I took the test from him and opened the box.
Dylan wasn't ready to let it go. “Nicole told me that Jamie was here with you and I lost it a bit.”
“Nicole, of course.” I was tired of my agent's meddling. “You're sleeping with her?”
His eyes shifted away. “We're engaged.”
“That's why she's been pushing so hard to get me to sell the movie rights to Emma?” I slapped my palm against my forehead. “Of course.” I fixed him with a stare. “You got engaged and didn't feel the need to tell me my sons would have a new stepmother.”
“You haven't been answering my calls.”
I shook my head. “You say you don't want me taking Jackson from you, so then be a father to him, to all of them. Make the effort and I promise I won't freeze you out. But if you ever disappoint them, I will cut off your balls and shove them down your throat.”
He laughed. “There's my girl.”
“I'm not your girl.”
“No,” he agreed. “You never were, were you?”
“Let's just do this.” I scanned over the instructions and handed him a swab. He rubbed it against the inside of his cheek and put it in one of the bags.
He held out a hand. “Let me be the one to give it to Jacks.”
I handed the second swab to him and followed him to the back door when I stood watching him as he spoke to Jackson. He returned a moment later to place the swab in another bag.
“We'll have it back in three days,” he told me. “I'm staying in town. Mind if I take Jackson and Liam for a few hours.”
I nodded. “They'd like that.”
The three of them left as my dad walked through the door. He'd gone to the store. His eyes followed Dylan out before he turned to me. “You okay, sweetheart?”
“I'm not sure. You mind watching Declan for a little while? He's still sleeping, but I have something I need to do.”
“Go ahead.”
I gave him a quick hug before heading over to Colby's place.
Colby opened the door in his hospital scrubs.
“Hey, Cal,” he said. “I'm running a bit late for work. What's up?”
“Is he here?” I asked.
Colby's face told me everything I needed to know. “Cal -”
“He left.” I walked in and slammed the door. “Of course he did. I shouldn't have expected anything more from Jamie Daniels.”
“I'm sorry.”
“He hasn't changed as much as I thought.”
“He's in Tampa.”
“I didn't ask.”
“But you wanted to know.” He shrugged on his white jacket.
“I shouldn't.”
“Yes, you should.” He sighed. “Look, you know how stubborn Jamie is. Right now he's pissed and can you really say he doesn't have a right to be?”
“Of course he has a right to be mad. But he doesn't get to just leave me. Again.”
“Give him a few days.” He led me back to the door. “I really have to get to work.”
I followed him out and down to the parking lot, knowing my brother was right. That was usually the case. I'd give Jamie his time. In a few days we'd all know for sure.
As I drove back towards my house, I wasn't sure what I wanted the test to say. A part of me dreamed of being a family with Jamie and my boys. But the bigger part of me knew that the best thing for all of us was for that test to come back positive - for Dylan to be Jackson's father as we'd always assumed. That was what was best for my son.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jamie:
The interview opportunity came together quickly. I told Sergeant Carlson that I'd be in Tampa for the weekend and he set it up. I didn't know how I felt about the job quite yet, but it was good to see the possibilities all laid out before me.
Since leaving base, I'd been drifting and using Callie as my only anchor. I didn't know what happened next, only that it included her. Since finally becoming a Ranger a few years ago, the army was my present and my future. I'd assumed I'd be in until I retired.
I didn't expect to have to find something new to do with my life when I hadn't yet hit thirty-years-old.
As I walked through the large parking lot, I couldn't stop thinking about Jackson, the boy who could be mine. They'd all known. They'd all lied. Except for him. He was the innocent in all of this. I already loved the kid, even before I found out the truth - him and his brothers. They were special kids.
I pictured his face, trying to find anything that could tell me he carried the Daniels genes. His hair was lighter than his mother's. Could that be my influence? I thought his eyes looked similar to mine, but knew all of this was probably just wishful thinking.
C-corp resided in a tall building in a professional district north of Tampa. Everything was very green and well-kept. The company's emblem hung on the side of the building for everyone to see. They were a big deal in the world of government contractors.
I pulled open the glass doors and was hit by a blast of cold air, even though it was November. The white tile floor did nothing to hide the sound of my steps as I crossed the large lobby to speak with the young receptionist. She glanced up briefly, the phone pressed to her ear. I stood there for a long moment, waiting awkwardly as she said goodbye to the person on the other end of the line and set it down.
A smile graced her lips as she looked up at me once again. Her high blond pony-tail swung back and forth with every movement.
“Can I help you?” she asked.
“Yeah.” I cleared my throat. “James Daniels to see Mr. Carr.”
“Oh yes, I'll let him know you're here. If you'd like, you can meet him in the conference room on three. Just turn left out of the elevator.”
I nodded once and followed her directions. The conference room held a long table with computer hookups at each seat. Large screens loomed over the space.
I was only in there for a moment before a man in an expensive suit joined me. He couldn't have been more than ten years my senior.
“James.” He grinned, sticking out his hand.
I took it. “Mr. Carr?”
“Oh please, call me Garret. Let's get started, shall we?”
It turned out that Sergeant Carlson had talked me up quite a bit, even going so far as to call me a weapons expert. I had no idea he thought so highly of me.
The job was an exciting one. A team was being put together to overhaul the training program in certain firearms at Fort Benning. Most of the team would be working out of the Tampa office, but they also needed someone in Georgia working with officers there.
He asked me a lot of questions, mostly about my service, and then shocked me by offering me the Georgia position.
“Forgive me for being skeptical,” I said. “But are you sure I'm qualified.”
“Carlson seems to think you are.” Garret leaned forward. “Let me tell you something. I was special forces right alongside that man. I trust his judgment above most anything.” He leaned back. “So, do you want the job?”
The thought of going back to Fort Benning, to my men, excited me. I wasn't going to lie about that. When I was told I couldn't re-enlist, the only thing I wanted was a way to stay.
But in just a few short months, everything changed. Could I just go?
I was mad as hell at Callie. I wasn't even sure I could forgive her, but what happened if it turned out Jackson really was mine.
“Can I have some time to think about it?” I asked.
“Of course. The project doesn't start for another month but most of the team has already started preliminary work.”
We both stood and shook hands once more.
As I climbed back into my truck, I had no idea what I was going to do.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Callie:
Hitting send was frightening when your e-mail included a new book that could affect your friends in such a huge way. No one had read it yet and my editor wanted the first few chapters soon. She didn't know I'd finished the entire thing. But it wasn't her I sent it to, not yet. Morgan got to read it first. She was still in town with her husband and I'd written like crazy to get a draft to her while she was here.
I hadn't slept much lately, but my mind felt lighter than ever as I stared at the final words on the screen, hoping the direction I'd gone in was the right one. Putting the story down had been good for me and I only hoped reading it would be good for everyone else.
It'd turned into something I hadn't expected. It was a story of kids who didn't yet know the consequences of their actions. Matthew, the shooter, had been a victim as much as anyone.
It was an ode to the victim in all of us.
I breathed out slowly, shutting the lid of my laptop, and walking out into the living room where my father was watching a movie with the boys.
Along with Dylan, he'd decided to stay until the results came in. None of us knew what they'd mean for Jackson and we all wanted to be there. I smiled at the sight of him curled up with Declan on the couch.
A crack of thunder shook the house. It'd been raining all day. My father helped at the restaurant until we both left to pick up the boys. We were making great progress and opening day was just around the corner.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I answered it without looking at the screen, hoping I'd hear Jamie's voice on the other end.
It wasn't him.
“California,” Scott, a publicist who worked for my publisher said. “I'm glad I could reach you.”
“Hi, Scott. What can I do for you?” I walked back into the kitchen.
“I know what you're going to say to this, but we'd like you to do an interview.”
I didn't answer him right away. I'd refused every interview request I'd received after Emma hit the bestseller list. My publisher hadn't been happy at first, but then it added to the mystique of the book. The mysterious daughter of the mysterious actress who disappeared from Hollywood. This time it was going to be all me.
The word “no” was on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't force it out.
“We want to build anticipation for this new book,” he went on.
“Okay,” I said, surprising even myself.
“Really?”
“I'll do one. But I get to choose who we try to get to do the interview. Let me think about it and I'll get back to you.”
I hung up before he could object.
The rattle of the mail box slamming shut right outside the front door made me jump. An engine roared to life and by the time I opened the door, the mailman was pulling away. I stepped out into the rain, trying to shield my face with my arm.
I reached in and pulled out the mail before ducking back inside. My shirt was wet, but I barely noticed as I flipped through envelopes. Bill, bill, junk, ads, then I stopped and let it all fall to the floor with the exception of one envelope. I clutched it to my chest and ran into the kitchen, away from little prying eyes.
It became harder and harder to breathe as I stared at the return address. This was it.
My fingers itched to tear it open, but I knew I couldn't. Instead, I took out my phone and dialed Dylan.
“I'm on my way,” he said after I'd explained.
Twenty minutes later, we faced each other across the counter, the envelope laying against the granite between us.
Dylan looked a little rough, with his hair sticking out to the side and dark circles under his eyes. I'd been dwelling on how this test would affect me and Jamie, forgetting that Dylan had more stake in it than anyone.
He breathed deeply. “He's my son no matter what.”
I nodded, reaching forward to take the envelope between my shaking hands. I slid my thumb under the flap releasing it from its sticky hold.
I unfolded the page inside and scanned my eyes across the words. Only one word jumped out at me.
“Match,” I whispered.
“What?” Dylan ripped the paper from my hands, needing to read it for himself. An elated smile spread across his handsome face and he let out a laugh. “I knew it.”
“Congratulations,” I said. “You have a son.”
“Always did.” He flattened his hair with his hands. “Always did.”
I turned away from him, not sure what I should be feeling. All those years, I'd held on to Jamie, thinking we might be more connected than he knew. It'd been a mistake not to find out before then. I knew that now.
And it was up to me to bring the news to Jamie. A tear slid down my cheek, but I wiped it away before Dylan could see.
Jackson walked in to join us. “What's going on?”
“Nothing.” Dylan wrapped Jackson in a strong hug. “Everything is okay now.”
Jackson looked at me in question, but I'd already started moving towards the door. My dad was still in the living room with the younger two. He met my gaze and I flicked my eyes back towards the kitchen where Dylan still was. Dad nodded in understanding.
“Can you do bed time tonight?” I asked. “I have to go and might not be back.”
“Of course.”
I didn't know why it felt so immediate. The news would keep, but suddenly I needed to see Jamie. I needed him to know. I owed him that much.
The rain pounded along the darkened street as I merged onto the highway. It wouldn't be too late when I got there at least.
The drive gave me time to clear my head and decide what I was going to say. I didn't know if he'd be relieved or heartbroken. I didn't know what I wanted him to be.
This was Jamie, the boy I'd known most of my life. I'd been in love with him since I was eighteen years old. I knew with everything that I was that he was the one. My Jamie.
My tears fell in time with the rain, creating the soundtrack to my drive.
By the time I arrived outside the hotel Colby told me he was staying at, I had no more tears. All I had was a knowledge that my stubborn will was about to clash with his. I wouldn't let him destroy us.
I stalked by the front desk, taking the elevator up to the second floor. Standing outside his door, a puddle formed at my feet. I was soaked, but I didn't care. I was sleep deprived and it didn't even mat
ter.
My knocks echoed down the deserted hall and I swore I could hear a clock ticking as I waited. And waited. I knocked again.
“Just a minute,” Jamie's voice called from the other side.
A moment later, he opened the door.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Jamie:
I didn't know what I was supposed to say to Callie as she stood in my doorway like a frightened cat. She looked up at me, blinking rapidly. She bit her lip as I stared at her in silence.
When her eyes started to shine, I wanted to pull her to me and hold her to keep the tears at bay. But I didn't. I couldn't. Not this time. The stab of betrayal was still too fresh. The picture I'd kept in my head of her for the past ten years was now too broken.
“Can I …” She stopped herself for a moment and squared her shoulders. When she spoke again, there was more strength behind it. “I'm coming in.”
She pushed herself by me and I didn't stop her. I knew why she was there. I knew she'd come. They'd get the test done and then be able to tell me if all of the secrets were worth it; if they'd done the right thing.
Callie walked past the bed, around the perfectly organized suitcase, and to the couch. The military had changed me from a messy, uncaring boy into an orderly, in-charge man. But she made no notice and I hadn't really expected her to.
She dropped her purse and it hit the floor with a thud before she sat down.
“It's late,” I finally said.
“No, it's really not.”
She seemed to need to argue with me so I let her have that one. I knew how we got here, but I still didn't understand it. Callie was looking at me, waiting for me to say something, anything that would keep her from falling apart. Her lips pursed together, refusing to tremble.
This was the girl I knew. The one who could raise three boys on her own and raise them well. When I was younger, I'd believed she could do anything. She was superhuman. Now I knew that she only believed she could do anything and that might have been the more powerful of the two.
The TV was on across the room and the talk-show I'd been watching returned from commercial.
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