She reached down to take another drink. Balfor released her abruptly, growled something that might, or might not have been words, but sounded like a warning. Then he left her side.
Stacia didn’t have long to wonder where he went before he was back, holding a handful of pale mushrooms. He offered them to her with an almost shy gesture that she found surprisingly endearing given their circumstances. The light from the lichen and the glowing points on the ceiling was enough that she could see the uncertainty in his expression as he looked from the mushrooms in his big hands to her face.
Since she’d had mushrooms that looked like that before, she knew she liked the taste of them, so she took them gratefully, her stomach rumbling with hunger. He tilted his head at the sound.
To hide her embarrassment, Stacia held up a mushroom. “Thank you. I don’t know how long I’ve been down here, but I can definitely use this.” She took a hesitant bite. She’d never eaten mushrooms completely raw before, but it was good, especially given how hungry she was. She devoured the first one, then the second.
She was about to chow down on the third one when she realized he wasn’t eating anything. She offered it back to him. The way his lip curled in disgust as he shook his head made her laugh out loud. “Apparently, you’re not a fan of mushrooms.” The Balfor she remembered didn’t eat them much either, though he would occasionally have one on his plate. Mostly for decoration, she suspected. Her lover was definitely primarily a meat-eater. It appeared that his primal was no different in that respect.
He responded to her comment with a series of growls and umbrose words that didn’t sound as if they were complete sentences or maybe even complete words. If she was to hazard a guess, she would say that his primal had difficulty even with his own language, though he was making a valiant attempt at it, given the way his forehead wrinkled in concentration. Not for the first time, she really regretted not trying to pick up at least a few words of the umbrose language. Lilith would have gladly taught her. Instead, she’d surrounded herself with people who only spoke DC Common to her, never forcing her to learn umbrose.
Eating and drinking seemed to remind her body that it had other necessary functions which it let her know about in no uncertain terms. Stacia looked around the beautiful cavern, wondering where she could possibly go to relieve herself. Though she hadn’t expected one, she was disappointed to see the complete lack of any type of toilet, even the surprisingly advanced gravity-emptied chamber pots used by the umbrose in Sanctuary.
“Um….” She looked at Balfor, who’d fallen silent when she’d failed to respond to whatever it was he was trying to say. He was now watching her intently. “I need to use the facilities.” She bit her lip when he narrowed his eyes and his forehead wrinkled in confusion.
“I have to go to the bathroom.” She suspected he wasn’t going to understand it any more just because she repeated it slowly, but now that she’d eaten, her body demanded she go. “Balfor, please, if you’re in there, will you just… get it!”
He snarled at her when she said his name, though his frown of concentration still creased his brow.
Stacia growled with frustration and then wanted to laugh as his eyebrows rose at the sound. He growled back at her, which did make her laugh. “Look, handsome, I really need to find a place to go. If you can’t direct me to one, I’m going to do a search for myself.”
When he only stared at her uncomprehendingly, trying another growl that she just shook her head at, she turned away from him and started examining the cavern.
His growl deepened when she walked away from him, but he didn’t grab her. Perhaps he realized that there was no way she could get away from him down here in these tunnels, so he wasn’t that concerned with her leaving. He did shadow her though, lumbering along behind her as she looked into corners for a suitable place to go.
She found a corner that was deep enough that she’d be in shadows when she backed into it. It wasn’t ideal—especially since Balfor could see in the dark—but it made her feel better about being concealed. She turned to face him and made a gesture for him to turn around.
He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her, the light from the weird lichen and star-worms casting his eyes in deep shadows beneath his brow.
“Could you please turn around? Seriously?” When he remained staring, she heaved a big sigh. “Nothing at all, hunh?” What in the hells is up with these crazy umbrose? Are all their primals like this? Lilith never told me anything like this. I wonder if she even knows. Not really thrilled about going to the bathroom in front of her lover, but not really given much choice, she squatted down, spreading her feet as far as she could to avoid splash back.
He uttered a series of syllables that might have signaled sudden understanding. But he still didn’t turn away.
She tried one last time. “Please turn around!” She spun her hand several times, hoping he would finally get the picture.
Tilting his head to the side, he watched her for a moment and then shrugged. After turning his back to her, he stalked over to another corner and peed with no evidence of modesty whatsoever.
Stacia rolled her eyes. This was going to be one hell of a challenge.
*****
Since he seemed unconcerned with the whole issue of relieving themselves, Stacia got through it, though her entire body was flushed with embarrassment afterwards. She really wanted to wash herself after that, but didn’t want to do it in the stream where their drinking water came from. She pointed back to the way they’d come, hoping he would get the picture. To her relief, he seemed to understand that much. He picked her up and carried her back, though she would have preferred to walk. He wasn’t giving her any option, and she wasn’t certain enough about his mood to take any chances by resisting his desire to carry her everywhere.
Back in the crystal cavern, she again headed to the mineral pool. Balfor again watched her with a curious growl. This time, she dipped one toe in the pool. As she’d hoped, the water was lukewarm rather than cold. He came to stand beside her, staring at her toe in the water with his head tilted and eyebrows raised.
She slowly lowered her leg into the spring. Since the water was milky white with dissolved minerals, she couldn’t see the depth, but the glow from the quartz orb was still bright, so it had to be shallow. It turned out that it only came to her knees. She still sat in it, sighing in pleasure as the water lapped over her skin.
Balfor watched the entire proceedings intently. His wings shifted when she moaned in delight. When she was sitting in the pool, he knelt down beside it so his face was close to hers, watching every move she made as she first fished out the globe and set it on the rocky bank of the pool, then started rubbing the water on her skin. It would be nice if she had soap, but she would make do.
Feeling emboldened by his silent curiosity, she cupped a handful of water and lifted it to his arm. When his lip curled in a snarl, she stopped. Then he met her eyes, and she saw the wariness in his face. She tried to lower the water, which had almost all flowed out of her hand anyway, when he grabbed her wrist in a blinding movement and stopped her. His grip was unyielding, but not painful, as he brought her hand back to his arm and pressed her wet palm against his skin.
She rubbed her fingers over his corded muscle. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back as she touched him. A low moan rumbled in his chest.
He remained still while she scooped more water out of the pool and rubbed down all of his chest, neck and face, washing off the blood and viscera from his kills. As she exposed more of his clean skin, which smelled of minerals instead of death now, she began to grow excited. Her body heated. As she felt the dampness between her legs that signaled her arousal, his nostrils flared. His eyes—which had been closed the entire time she’d been washing him—opened to pin her with a hungry gaze.
He tugged her out of the pool before she even had a chance to protest.
*****
It was a long time before he released Stacia. Not as long as it
took the first time for him to be sated, but then, she didn’t believe he was sated, though his seed dripped down her legs. He was slightly gentler this time, but he was still rough and almost beastly in the manner in which he took her. She liked it, and was somewhat ashamed that she did.
When he pulled out of her, and she was able to get off her knees and stretch, he folded her into a tight embrace, his wings closing around them. Though he was flaccid now against her back, his hands still roved over her body, cupping and kneading her breasts, stroking down her stomach, and exploring her mound. He seemed to just enjoy touching her. Since she also enjoyed his touch, she didn’t complain. The warmth of his hands on her soothed her aching muscles, even as it stoked the fires that she’d thought had been burnt out by his relentless lust.
Balfor surprised her by carrying her back to the pool and setting her into it. Then he kneeled behind her and started scooping the water up to wash her as she had done to him earlier. Stacia found the experience very enjoyable, and leaned back against his shoulder as he crouched forward to rub her arms, then her legs.
*****
He felt relaxed, and he couldn’t remember when he’d last felt that way. She’d let him rut her again. She’d even cried out in what sounded like pleasure. Her muscles had trembled with fine tension that was different from her fear. She no longer smelled of fear. She was content being with him. She didn’t want the Other. She wanted him.
Though he was happy as she curled up again in his arms, a slight worry pricked at his contentment. She’d summoned the Other. She’d tried to call him back. There was a time when that name would summon both of them, when they were still One, but that time was gone. The Sundering had happened and they would never be One again, because the Other hated him, just as he hated the Other. The Other would take her from him and never let him be with her again.
She didn’t know. That was it. That was why she’d tried to summon the Other. She wouldn’t have touched him so freely, so eagerly—she wouldn’t have welcomed his rutting with her scent of nectar—if she hadn’t wanted him and not the Other. She wouldn’t be even now curled up against him if she wanted the Other instead of him.
He would never let her down. She would always want him because he would take care of her and protect her. When she awakened from this resting, he would take her with him to find lichen and moss for a bed. He knew of a place where it grew plentifully, but it was close to a crystal wyrm lair. The crystal wyrm was the only beast that hunted the kin. He would have to be very careful taking her near that place.
He could slay the beast, but she might be broken by it if it caught her. He wished now that he had the sword, though he didn’t like the feel of it in his hands, not as he had when he was still young and One, before leaving the Nest. It was part of the Sundering, a reminder that the Other had rejected him and chained him away. The sword was Civilized. He slayed with his claws, his teeth, and his talons. That was the true way. He could slay the wyrm that way, but it would take longer than with the sword, and during that time, she might be in danger.
He stroked her soft skin as she rested, inhaling her scent so deep that it felt as if it became a part of him. He didn’t want to put her in danger, but he didn’t want to leave her behind either. He couldn’t explain to her why she needed to wait for him and not wander through the tunnels without him at her side. If only he could peel back the veil, just a bit, to understand what the Other knew, but no, the Other was still desperate, still determined to regain control. It took all his will to keep the Other locked away.
Chapter 21
When Stacia awoke again, there were already mushrooms nearby and Balfor was watching her from his perch on a boulder near the mineral pool. She ate the mushrooms, wishing he would find something else to watch so intently besides her, but in truth there wasn’t much else to see. The cavern was stunning with its dark, sparkling crystals, but there wasn’t much too it.
The food was fine since she was hungry, but she realized that she’d get bored of it pretty quickly if this was going to be her diet for a while. She wondered if Balfor ever made a fire. She wasn’t desperate enough to eat raw meat, but if he could cook it, she’d probably considering trying it, as long as she knew what kind of animal it came from. A memory of the many bones littering his cavern and the entrance to his tunnel came back to her. He hadn’t killed or eaten anything that she knew of since she’d gotten there. It couldn’t have been that long, though it felt like weeks already, but eventually, he would need to eat again, though given all the animals he’d killed, he’d probably eaten his fill.
After she’d eaten all of the mushrooms, stuffed, but unwilling to upset him by leaving any of his offering behind, Balfor took her back to the stream. After setting her on her feet, he crouched down beside some glowing lichen which cast a fair amount of light over him, revealing her first good look at his back.
She hadn’t forgotten that he’d been horribly wounded by the whipping. But he’d behaved in a manner that suggested it no longer bothered him, and Sari had assured her he would be healed up in a very short time. He hadn’t. His back was a mass of long scabs, caked with black blood. In fact, his grey skin was coated with black blood. No one had cleaned his wounds. No one had tended to him at all.
She cursed herself more than any of the umbrose who had been so neglectful. It did not escape her that this was all her fault. Even though relieving herself on a cave floor like an animal made her miserable, there was no way she would ever try to abandon Balfor to this fate. Not that she expected him to let her leave. His primal seemed to have grown attached to her.
She kneeled beside him, wanting to touch him in a soothing way, but uncertain how he would react. Since she wasn’t paying attention, her knee crushed a shelf of the lichen, which released a milky fluid with a strong antiseptic scent. Quickly, she wiped it off her leg, worried that it would be poisonous or cause an allergic reaction. Thrusting her hand into the water caused the fluid from the plant to dissolve into a soapy lather as she rubbed it off her skin. It wasn’t exactly soap, and she was certainly not a botanist, but she wondered if it would serve a similar purpose. Balfor had watched her wash her hands with that curious tilt to his head. She pointed to the lichen with dripping fingers that finally felt clean again. “Can this be used as a cleanser?”
She didn’t expect a verbal answer that would make any sense so she wasn’t surprised when he only growled something guttural, but he did pluck off a piece of the lichen shelf. Then, to her surprise, he crushed it in his palm, scooped water in his other hand, and rubbed the glowing soapy liquid with it. It formed a foamy lather. He put the lather to his lips, tasted it, apparently demonstrating to her that it could be food. He made a face as if it was bitter and then shrugged, flicking the foam off his hand.
She hadn’t considered it as food, but it looked like it could be a form of soap. If nothing else, the fact that it was edible meant that it was also non-toxic so rubbing it on herself probably couldn’t hurt anything. If it did clean her up, she wanted to try it on Balfor’s back, though she wasn’t certain he’d even let her touch the scabbed welts. Maybe she could clean around them and at least get rid of the dried blood and torn bits of flesh that had hardened into a crust. She felt the need to do something. She wanted him to understand that she cared and that she regretted all that had happened. Maybe her actions would get through to him when her words failed to have any affect.
He was still watching her, so she motioned to the cavern and then pointed to the lichen foam. The largest growth of it was beneath them, and already crushed. There were only small flat shelves of it around the remainder of the cavern. Not really enough to harvest.
He seemed to understand what she wanted. A slight frown creased his brow as he nodded. He rose out of his crouch and took her hand, pulling her to her feet less than gently. When she stumbled, he caught her against his chest and then grumbled as if he was apologizing. Instead of lifting her into his arms and carrying her, he set her steadily back on her fee
t again, though he glanced down at her feet with a furrowed brow for a long moment before turning to draw her into one of the tunnels that opened into this cave.
The tunnel was narrow enough that they had to walk inline which was probably why he didn’t carry her as he had done before. Balfor positioned himself in front of her, though he kept her hand in his as he led her through the tunnels. There were many tunnels. The ground beneath her feet was often smooth and cool in places. On more than one occasion, he would stop and sweep at the ground with his talons, pushing aside rocks and smoothing over sharp edges before he led her over that area.
They seemed to walk on forever. At least, that was how Stacia was beginning to feel in the darkness relieved only by occasional bioluminescence. Sometimes, they even had to get on their knees and crawl. Though he always went before her, and somehow managed to wedge his big body, wings and all, through the tight spaces, she often felt claustrophobic and a little panicked that she’d get stuck.
Just about when she was ready to call it a day and try to get him to stop for a rest, an intriguing scent wafted through the tunnel they were in. It smelled of fresh air and growing things. There was a faint rushing sound that underscored the heavy silence broken only by their breathing and the rustling of their movements. The further they went, the more she could make out the details of the tunnel they were in, because the light had brightened considerably. This time, it wasn’t bioluminescence, but rather the golden yellow of true sunlight brightening the darkness at the end of the tunnel they approached.
The tunnel mouth widened near the opening and the sunlight was nearly blinding through it after all the darkness she’d gotten used to. Eagerness to feel the sunlight warming her skin had her pushing past him to step into the light, but he stopped her with a firm grip and a harsh warning growl.
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