Lips Close to Mine (Wherever You Go)

by Bielman, Robin

  I make it as far as the hallway when there’s a knock on the door.

  He came after me.

  There’s a second knock.

  Shit. I’ve been standing here freaking out over the possibility that I’ve lost my chance to work for MASF, and unsure whether I want to answer the door. A big part of me is glad he’s here. Another part of me is mad. I told him to leave me alone, and he didn’t listen.

  Rationally, I know it’s not his fault we got caught skinny-dipping, but it’s much easier to be mad at him than admit tonight was great. That everything about Levi is great, and I had a really good time with him.

  Goddammit.

  I open the door.

  “Hey,” he says. “You forgot these.” He shows me my shoes. I’d completely spaced out about them.

  “Oh.” That’s why he’s here. I’m such an idiot. Our fingers brush on the handoff, thawing the chill in my hand, and I toss the heels somewhere to my right. They make a thud when they hit the hardwood floor. “Thanks.”

  “I thought you might need them for tomorrow.”

  It takes me a few seconds to respond to that, the tension at seeing Levi on my doorstep melting away. I think he’s nervous. It’s a side of him I haven’t seen before. “At the pool?”

  “Right. We’re shooting tomorrow. So, that’s not the reason I’m standing here.”

  “No?”

  “I just really needed to see you one more time.”

  My heart beats faster without my permission.

  “Not to make sure you’re okay. You set me straight on that score. But to make sure you got inside safe and sound.”

  “I did.”

  “I can see that.” He takes a step back. “And now that I have, good night.”

  “Wait! Do you want to come in for a minute?” What am I doing? Danger! Danger! He came. He saw. I got my shoes back. I was supposed to say good-bye after that. Apparently my brain doesn’t care about permission, either.

  “Sure.”

  He grazes my arm as he walks into the guesthouse. All these accidental touches make me want to throw caution aside and go at it on every surface in my house. I close the door and turn around to find him facing me, his arms at his sides. I lean back against the door with my palms flat on the wood behind my butt. Less than an hour ago we were naked together, so the memory of Levi’s cut, lean frame is still very fresh in my mind. (And FYI, even in cold water, he’s really well hung.) I had to fight the urge to run my hands over his chest and abs, drop down to my knees, and give him a blowjob. Thank God I didn’t. “Fellatio in a Fountain” is not a story I want circulating around his family.

  My unbidden thoughts remind me how much Levi protected me tonight. How he tried to hide my naked body from view and gave me his hoodie to keep me warm. Family or not, getting caught by the cops is cause for anxiety.

  He moves closer.

  He helped me at the fountain more than he knows. The last time I had to talk to police officers was when Joe drowned. One of the officers from that night had a mustache, too, and I was suddenly in my backyard again, watching them bag Joe’s body and carry him away.

  I hate those memories. Hate them so much.

  Levi’s care and safeguarding tonight got me over them quicker than ever before. I’d felt completely alone the night of Joe’s accident, but tonight I wasn’t isolated. Not for one second.

  I think that deserves a proper thank-you. We both know I didn’t invite him in just to talk. I push off the door, erase the distance between us, and when I’m standing right in front of him, I jump up. He catches me with a surprised but happy grunt as I wrap my legs around his waist, cross my arms behind his neck, and fuse our mouths together. This is more than gratitude. I want to forget, and he helps me do that with nothing more than a kiss. It’s the reason I once again break my rule of keeping kisses to a minimum.

  His kisses are earnest. Enthusiastic. They’re openmouthed, delicious, and send waves of pleasure through me. Not to mention, his hands are warm and possessive. One is cupping my ass, the other is pressed between my shoulder blades to keep us anchored, and it feels so good. Having his hands anywhere on me feels so good.

  I curl my tongue around his to savor the taste of champagne and desire, and slide my fingers through his soft hair. He’s moving us somewhere. It could be anywhere for all I care, I’m so lost in his kiss. His mouth moves over mine with a sureness and a rightness that makes me dizzy, in hot need of so much more.

  He sits me on the kitchen table and hikes my dress up so he can stand between my legs. His hands roam. They slip underneath the sweatshirt, up my sides, over my breasts, around the edge of my panties.

  It’s not enough. I’m desperate for skin on skin. I gently bite his lower lip to slow his wonderful invasion of my mouth. God, his unhurried kisses are just as powerful as his fast and furious ones. Maybe even more so because they feel like a beginning with no end.

  Stay out of your head, Harper.

  We break apart so I can lift the hoodie off. His brilliant light-brown eyes wander over my face and body for several charged seconds. I’m about to peel my dress off, but then he’s undoing the knot on top of my head, freeing my hair to let the damp strands fall down my back and around my shoulders. He gazes into my eyes as he twists several ends of my hair around his finger. I hold his stare. He has this way of keeping me right here with him, unable to look away, even though a part of my brain is telling me to run like hell.

  “I know you don’t think so, but tonight was pretty perfect,” he says.

  “I can think of a way for you to make up the not-so-perfect part.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Uh-huh.” I start to undo his belt buckle. “It starts with fewer clothes.”

  He stills my progress, covering my hands with his and sliding his tongue back inside my mouth. I’m useless at fine motor skills when he kisses me, so I abandon his belt and simply wrap my arms around him.

  We make out until we’re both breathless, and Levi steps back. I could stare at his face for days. The square jaw, always covered in light stubble. Full lips, the bottom one just a little bit more so. Straight nose. Golden-brown eyes a shade darker than his hair, which turn downward the tiniest bit in the corners. Emotion sparkles in them, and I’m sure my own feelings of want and caring are reflected back. I blink to rid any warmness betraying me.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says, surprising me.

  “You’re leaving?”

  “Sleep calls. You have a long day in a few hours.”

  “Sleep here,” I blurt out, then immediately wish I could take the words back. I hate that I sound needy, like his walking out the door will leave me lonely. It won’t.

  It will.

  It won’t. I’m used to being on my own. I like being on my own.

  He pauses his backward steps. “I…I need to be ready for tomorrow, too. Next time?”

  That’s not the answer he was supposed to give after kissing me like he couldn’t imagine ever stopping.

  And who made him in charge of sleepovers? Not me. There is no way I am ever making that invitation again. Doesn’t he realize how hard that was for me? “Probably not,” I say with childish certainty. I’m over him. Over every single thing about him. I was happy before he walked back into my life, and I’ll be even happier when we’re done working together and I only have to see him occasionally because of Teague and Mateo.

  “I’ve missed my chance?”

  “Yep.” I know I’m not being reasonable right now, but it’s that or admit my true feelings.

  He is not supposed to smile at that. Why is he not eating his words and changing his mind? He reaches behind him to open the door. “We’ll see. Sweet dreams, Ham.”

  I slide off the table, ready to push him out the door and slam it shut. “Oh, they will be.”

  “Mine, too. Later, gator.”

  “That’s the dumbest good-bye ever!” I say as he disappears around the door. I immediately close and lock it. I’m mad and c
onfused. And horny.

  So horny. I march to the shower and take care of myself. That I picture Levi’s hands and mouth on me while I do so is only natural. The guy is hot.

  Nothing else.

  August 18th

  Dear Harper,

  Walking away from you tonight was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I meant it when I said it was a perfect night, and if I’d stayed, it would have been for the wrong reason, tainting our excellent time together. I’ve gotten myself into something I need to get out of before we go any further. Before I follow through on all the things I want to do to you. Because I want you to know that when I bury myself inside you, it’s for no other reason than to bring us both pleasure.

  There’s another reason I backed off, though. I don’t want emotions interfering with what we know is a physical thing. We like each other’s bodies, and what happens when we touch, so having angry sex, or make-up sex, or whatever the hell it was we were about to do because of the whole police thing, isn’t smart. I’m sorry you were put in that uncomfortable position tonight, but I am glad I was your first skinny-dipper. You’re gorgeous, Ham. And so full of life. Did you know you shine brighter than the moon? You do. And that your tan lines are ridiculously sexy? They are.

  So I guess what I’m trying to say is, give me another chance. You know you want to and that you won’t be disappointed. (Remember how much you loved my cock?) We’re fighting a losing battle if we think we can keep our hands off each other. Fate has brought us back together for a reason, don’t you think? You probably want to tell me off right about now, but instead, tell me yes.

  I promise to do that thing with my tongue you like so much.

  Sincerely,

  Levi

  Chapter Ten

  Harper

  Saturday’s shoot goes well. Copious amounts of coffee get me through the morning. A Mountain Dew at lunch gets me through the afternoon. For the most part, I ignore Levi. I do what I’m told, keep my distance from him during breaks, and spend extra time in the pool swimming laps or playing with the kids. Being in the water is my safe place.

  More than once, Brad looks at me quizzically. Like he senses something is off. Something is. I feel like shit for disregarding his request not to encourage Levi. Last night I threw myself at the cameraman in an attempt to encourage all sorts of things. I’m angry with myself for acting so stupid and letting my emotions get the better of me. It was unprofessional. Out of character. Whenever I’m around Levi it’s like I’m someone else. Someone I don’t recognize or know how to deal with.

  And since he’s the one who put a stop to it, I obviously misread his signals. Only, that can’t be right. He was definitely into me, if his kiss is anything to go by. His mixed signals are making me crazy.

  Then there’s the skinny-dipping incident. I don’t want Brad finding out at a family dinner I got naked with his brother-in-law during the time we were shooting the PSAs. So I have to come clean. Soonish. When he asked for a sit-down next week, I decided that would be the perfect time to confess my R-rated indiscretion.

  When shooting ended for the day, I took off without a glance back. I had to get to my parents’ house. My mom makes a monthly family dinner for my brothers and me, and short of bleeding to death, there is no acceptable excuse for missing it. We sat around the kitchen table eating pasta primavera, and for once she bugged my brothers about their love lives instead of bugging me. I enjoyed every second of it—until she mentioned Levi’s name, and how happy she was that I had a date for Colleen’s wedding, and how maybe I’d catch the bouquet.

  I might have spit my water across the table at that little remark.

  Now it’s Sunday afternoon, and my happy, in-love roommate and best friend’s plans for a backyard barbeque and Ping-Pong tournament are in full swing. She’s weirdly excellent at the sport and is soundly defeating everyone. Mateo is cooking burgers on the grill while watching his girlfriend with pride.

  I’m lying on a lounge chair next to our friend Madison, soaking up the hot August sun. “Hey, how was your date the other night?” I ask her.

  Madison sighs with despair. “It sucked. The guy talked nonstop about his T-shirt business and nothing else. He didn’t ask me one question about myself.” Two months ago, Madison left her cheating fiancé at the altar. This was her first date since then.

  “At least you’re putting yourself out there. That’s huge, and I’m proud of you.”

  “Thanks. And get this—at the end of the date, he gave me one of his shirts. It said GILF on it. Like that was going to get me to agree to a second date with him.”

  I laugh. “Girl I’d Like To Fuck? You gotta give the guy props for going for it.’”

  “I handed it back to him and told him to give it to a girl who found it complimentary rather than desperate.”

  “Nice,” I say. “Any news on the job front?”

  “No,” she says, sounding utterly hopeless. “Unfortunately, planning one’s own wedding isn’t a very useful skill for a résumé, and even if it were, the epic failure of the wedding probably negates all the work I put into it.”

  I turn my head to look at her. “You’ll find something. You’re smart and kind and personable, and you just haven’t found the right match yet.”

  “Thanks for saying that.” Madison smiles and shifts her attention back to the pool. I note her gaze lands on Elliot and lingers. Interesting. He and two of my old coworkers from the coffee shop are standing in the shallow end talking with red plastic cups in their hands. Levi is in the water playing with Zoe while her mom, Abby, watches from a chair. Mateo’s sister, Isabel, is floating on a raft in the deep end and texting nonstop on her phone.

  For the tenth time, Levi’s sunglasses meet mine before I’m fast enough to look away. To stop this crazy impulse to survey his every move, I put my chair flat and roll onto my stomach. “I’m going to close my eyes for a few,” I tell Madison. I undo the string of my bikini top so I don’t get a tan line, take off my shades, and sink into the chair cushion more fully.

  I’m not sure how much time passes, but when I open my eyes I find Levi in Madison’s chair. He’s lying on his side, head propped in his hand watching me. “Hi,” he says.

  “Hi.”

  “Good nap?”

  I lift my arms from my sides so I can tuck my hands under my cheek. I’ve no desire to get up yet. Staring into Levi’s gorgeous butterscotch and gold-flecked gaze makes me half think I’m still dreaming. Yeah, there’s no escaping him no matter how hard I try.

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Guess what, Harper?” Zoe says, popping her cute little face over Levi’s shoulder. She’s wearing his sunglasses and a big smile.

  “What?”

  “I beat Levi in a race across the pool.”

  “That’s awesome.”

  “He said I must have had a good teacher, and I told him you were my teacher!” She puts her small hand on his arm. “Maybe you could take some lessons, Levi. Harper, do you teach big boys?”

  I can’t help it. I grin. Levi grins. He hasn’t stopped staring at me, which is both annoying and flattering. What is his deal? Today he’s in the mood to shower me with attention? “No, I don’t,” I say, “but maybe I can make an exception for Levi.”

  “Zoe,” her mom calls from around the pool. “Come get your burger, sweetie.”

  Zoe scrambles off the lounge chair next to Levi’s. “Bye,” she calls over her shoulder before skipping away.

  “We should start as soon as possible,” Levi says. “It may take me a while to learn everything I need to from you.” His teasing is insanely attractive, and I do enjoy a good flirt, so I’ll play along.

  “What kind of everything are we talking? Freestyle? Breaststroke?”

  “You can put those at the top of the list, yes.” He traces his finger from my shoulder to my elbow, sending a zing of electricity through me.

  I don’t know what we’re doing, but I don’t want it to stop. He has a way of making me fo
rget why I should keep my distance from him.

  “My schedule is kind of full at the moment, so I’m not sure when I can fit you in.” I really should stop flirting with him. Things were so much easier—and safer—when I merely tolerated him for the sake of our best friends.

  “I can wait for when.” His eyes slip away from mine to watch his finger trace down my side. “Especially since I know how tight that fit is.” He needs to stop touching me.

  I silently pray he never stops touching me.

  “Your skin is so soft,” he says, his tone seductive.

  I close my eyes. I’ll let him do this just a little bit more. Some tortures are sweet.

  “You left in such a hurry yesterday, I didn’t get a chance to confirm Friday’s location shoots with you. Brad’s got permits for the Annenberg Community Beach House pool and Stoner Park Pool in West L.A. We’ll grab some beach shots, too.”

  He moves all his fingers across my back in a light caress that feels amazing. I think I maybe purr. In the past, when it came to guys, it took zero effort to forget about them. I’d have some fun and never give them a second thought.

  Levi Pierce is impossible to forget. He’s also maddening, infuriating, irritating, and the reason my body hums even when he’s not near.

  All excellent reminders to keep myself in check. “I’ve got lessons until two on Friday. Does that leave us enough time?” I reluctantly open my eyes. It takes me a moment to blink away the sunspots. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that day was set already.”

  “I can’t do any other day, so we’ll make it work.” He draws lazy lines and squiggles over my warm skin.

  “You have another shoot?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I bet the talent will be a lot easier to work with.”

  He laughs. “No doubt.”

  “Hey,” I argue.

  “I didn’t say I liked easier better, Ham, just that I agreed with your assessment. At the moment, there’s no one I’d rather have in front of my lens than you.” His voice is soft and sun-drenched, the epitome of a summer compliment.