But there were two things that particularly resonated with me. There was always something missing before, something that felt incomplete. In the week without Julia, without any interaction whatsoever, that’s what I felt. Incomplete. She’s only been back in my life for a month, yet I’ve felt lost without her.
I want you to find your other half and experience how wonderful a great relationship can be. Life is so much better when you can share it with someone you love. It changes everything.
And I think I’m there.
So, if this is what it takes for me to show my heart, I’ll do it. Because I don’t want to lose her in any way either, so I get her question and concern. “What if it doesn’t? I’ve been going over this since I had that conversation with my mom. I don’t want to miss out on this chance with you. To have something real with you. I know I’m not the only one feeling this special connection between us. It’s always been there, but it’s grown into something so much more over the last month.”
The indecision is as clear as day in her eyes, and I don’t blame her. It’s hard to wipe away the doubt she must feel after knowing me for so long. “Don’t give me an answer right now. Just think about it, okay?”
She nods, and I take a step toward her, leaning in to place a soft kiss on her cheek. “You’re gonna let me know?”
Her head bobs up and down again, and I chuckle at her obvious speechlessness. It leaves me with a lightness in my chest that I welcome. “Great. Have a good night, Jules.”
“You too. And thanks for dinner.”
“Anytime, Daphne. Anything for you.” I lose the battle with myself and touch her cheek.
With a small smile on her face, she closes the door, but not before I hear her faint “Night, Freddie,” making me grin like a total fool.
Chapter 25
Julia
The soft breeze picks up my hair, stirring a loose strand around my cheek. The sun warms my face while I watch people on the boardwalk—talking, laughing, and playing. A couple is arguing close by, but I try my best to tune them out, wanting to focus on the positive around me.
No more dwelling on the past, getting frustrated over things I can’t control, or chickening out of things because I’m afraid of them. It’s time to live my life to the fullest. My new mantra.
“Jules?”
The familiar voice rips me out of my thoughts, and I’m surprised to see Carter approach in a slow jog, the butterflies in my stomach throwing him a welcome party.
His breaths come out quick and hard when he reaches me. “What are you doing here?”
Even though I heard him, I’m distracted when he takes a large gulp from the water bottle in his hand. Shielding my eyes from the sun, I watch his Adam’s apple move with each swallow, utterly fascinated.
When he sees my hand on my forehead, he steps to the side, positioning himself to block the sun with his large frame. That also puts him closer to me, allowing me to get a good look at his shirtless body that’s dripping with sweat.
Despite the heat, the hairs on my arms lift as I try to keep my cool at the sight of a half-naked Carter. “I know you usually run at the beach after work, so I thought I’d try my luck and see if I could catch you.”
He studies my face, looking for answers to whatever questions are popping around in his head. He scans my body, finding my typical loungewear of capri leggings and a T-shirt. “Did you want to go running with me?”
I laugh at his question, because he couldn’t be further off. “Nah. I started some workouts at home, but I think that’s it for me right now. It saves me time, so I can focus on all the other million things I want to do. Work has been busier too this week with lots of new orders, so I’m pooped.”
“More orders are awesome. Just make sure to take some breaks too.” His smile is genuine and I smile back at him. “Looks like you’ve got the six figures in the bag.”
I shrug, not wanting to jinx it, but I have the same thought. Or rather hope. “We’ll see. I still have almost half a year to go, but so far, it looks pretty good, so I can’t complain. I’ll look into getting some help soon if the orders keep coming like that.”
“That sounds like a good idea. Let me know if I can help.”
Let me know if I can help. That’s exactly what I expected Carter to say, because I know this man well. Nate never supported my silly hobby, and knowing Carter has my back, has always had my back, makes this discussion a little easier to digest.
Carter starts doing some stretches, and I’m failing miserably to keep my eyes on his face instead of his muscles moving and flexing. I mean, they’re practically begging me to enjoy the show. No one can blame me.
Of course, he catches me staring and is unable to hide his smirk. He finally takes pity on me and sits down. “So, if you didn’t want to run with me, why are you here?”
His question makes me fidgety, my gaze flickering down and momentarily stopping at his torso. Drops of sweat run down his chest and abs, and the sight is mesmerizing, to say the least, reminding me of how well this body works together with mine. He’s the perfect mix of bulky and lean, enough muscles to be toned but not too much to risk a concussion when you run into him. I could stare at him all day long, which I guess I already do whenever I get the chance.
“Jules?” Carter’s chuckle breaks through my haze, and I’m pretty sure someone could use me as a stoplight right now, because I must be that red.
“Yes, sorry.” I play with my fingers to distract myself.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see him lean forward, bracing his elbows on his knees while he looks at the side of my face.
Waiting for me to say something.
Giving me the room and time I need. Something he’s been trying so hard to do.
It’s been three days since he stopped by my apartment, and he’s been nothing but patient after dropping that “dating” bomb on me.
But I needed time to think.
Talking myself in and out of a million different what ifs, catching my bestie at a time where she wasn’t asleep on the other side of the world to dissect this whole mess with her.
Cora has been lending me her ear whenever I’ve needed it too, keeping me updated on my brother as well. He seems to have moved on from angry to sulking, which I can totally live with.
When I peek at Carter, his features are soft, helping me feel centered.
Embracing change isn’t always easy for me, but this expanding feeling in my chest whenever I’m around him, gives me the courage to take the next step. To say the words I know will change my life.
“Did you mean what you said the other day? When you came over?” My voice is merely a whisper in the wind, mixing with the calming waves of the ocean.
“Every single word.” There’s no hesitation when he replies, his voice strong and steady.
My gaze settles on his, my heart beating wildly in my chest. “You really want to give dating a try?”
“No. I don’t want to give dating a try. At least not in general.” His words sound final, like he doesn’t want to leave any room for discussion. “Only with you.”
I let out an anxious breath, a shiver running through my whole body. “Why?”
“You know exactly why. There’s something between us. I feel it every time we’re together, and I know you feel it too. It’s special, incomparable to anything else. It’s always been different with you, but I thought the reason was our long friendship. But having sex with you changed things. It intensified everything, shifting things, and making me want things I never thought I wanted.” He sounds almost frustrated when he’s done with his little speech.
All the while I stare at him like a moron, my mouth open, my eyes wide, completely unable to sift through the chaos in my brain. Even when I thought of the possibility of him saying yes, I never would have expected this admission. Confirming the same feelings that have been swirling around inside of me too, the ones that have been causing doubtful thought after doubtful thought and kept me up at nigh
t.
“And you want to explore that? Are you sure?” The need to be in this one hundred percent together is almost overwhelming.
“Positive.”
We stare at each other as I go through the mental checklist I made for this conversation, momentarily moving to my husband checklist that’s now taped to my fridge. Which might have been a bad move on my part since it reminds me of Carter every time I look at it, knowing how many boxes he ticks while still being off-limits.
Until now.
Maybe. Possibly.
The thought of that alone catapults me into a mix of euphoria and hysteria, and my brain can’t seem to decide which path to ultimately take.
After closing my eyes for a moment, I tell myself I can freak out later when I’m alone. “What about Ollie?”
Since he’s a sore subject, we have to talk about him. It’s not like we can just ignore my brother, not that either of us really wants to.
Carter shrugs, his expression staying leveled. “He’ll get over it, eventually. Even though he might have my balls first.”
I flinch at the very probable possibility. But he’s right, my brother will get over it, he just has to.
Leaning in, Carter’s next words are a whisper on my skin. “But it’ll be worth it. I just know it.”
For a moment, I think he might kiss me, but he stays where he is, watching me curiously from a few inches away.
“So, Jules. Does that mean you’re saying yes to going on a date with me?” His voice is low and pleasant, warming me from the inside out.
His blue eyes are filled with anticipation, excitement, and so much hope. I find comfort in his gaze the way I usually do and nod before I can change my mind.
“Really?” His eyes widen, his eyebrows shooting up an inch.
When he smiles widely, I laugh, because he looks like a little kid on Christmas. “Yes, really.”
“Perfect. I’m glad. Wow.” His grin is contagious, and I’m sure we look like morons to bystanders.
Then, his arms are around me, caging me in, and pulling me close to his chest.
“Ew.” I chuckle, trying to push him away when he only tightens his grip. “You’re all sweaty.”
A moment later, I finally give up and lean into him, fully enjoying his embrace.
Nothing feels this good.
When he lets go of me, I hold up my hand between us. “But there’s going to be a rule for our date.”
He laughs before running his hand through his damp hair. “Of course there is. I wouldn't expect anything else from you.” He winks at me, and I’m grinning like a fool, the lightness in my chest making me feel like I’m floating.
His fingers brush a strand of hair out of my face, gently pushing it behind my ear. “So, enlighten me, what is this rule?”
I scoot back on the bench to put some space between us, unable to think straight when he’s this close. All I can think about are his lips on mine and his hands on my body, making me want to forget where we are and climb him instead. I can’t deny how alluring and inviting that sounds, but if this is supposed to be a serious attempt at dating, I can’t waste the chance by falling back on our attraction for each other right away.
Even though it pains me to do this, I hold up my index finger. “No making out or sex.”
He opens his mouth, then closes it again. After closing his eyes, he clears his throat and nods. “Okay, I can deal with that.”
I press my lips together at his obvious discomfort. “Are you sure?”
My heart sighs when he gives me one of his small smiles. It’s his shy one he doesn’t show often, and I’ve always thought it’s cute as hell. The last thing anyone would ever think of Carter is being shy.
He rubs his chin and my eyes zoom in on his sexy stubble. “I wasn’t expecting anything like this, but I understand why you’re asking for it. I’m not going to lie and say it’ll be easy, because my hands are already itching to touch you. But like I said before, it’ll be worth it. And I can handle a few extra cold showers if necessary.”
I might have shot myself majorly in the foot with my rule.
“Any other rules?” He arches one brow, patient as ever.
Shaking my head, I swallow loudly. “Not that I can think of, but I’ll let you know.”
“I bet you will.” He crosses his arms over his chest, successfully distracting me once more. “Well, I have one rule too.”
Now it’s my turn to throw him a confused look. I didn’t expect him to have one. “You do?”
“Yup.” He looks like the epitome of casual, relaxing on the bench for the world to see. “None of those sexy little dresses we bought.”
My chin drops, and he laughs at my expression.
“Sorry, Jules, but without my rule in place, I’m afraid I might not be able to agree to your rule.” He tilts his head to the side as if to say “So what’s it gonna be?”
I didn’t miss the way his eyes raked over my body in appreciation in Vegas, but I thought that reaction was due to the sexual tension between us.
Determined to make this easier for both of us, I nod and stretch out my hand. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”
His face lights up, the smile so captivating when we shake hands that I’m ready to melt into a puddle. “Perfect. I can’t wait. I don’t suppose you’ll let me seal it with a kiss?”
I laugh, because he damn well knows that if we seal it with a kiss, there’s no way we’ll stop there. Especially when he uses his husky bedroom voice.
“Freddy, are you trying to get frisky with me?”
He bursts out laughing and shakes his head. “I’m guessing that’s a no.”
Regardless, because he’s Carter, he leans in—I struggle to breathe—and gives me one of his gentle forehead kisses, one of my favorite things in the world.
Apart from the goof in front of me, that is. The goof I’m apparently now dating.
Chapter 26
Carter
Julia opens her apartment door before I even have a chance to knock, glaring at me with tired eyes. “I hate you. This is already the worst date ever.”
I can’t help but laugh at her expression, putting my hands over my heart. “Ouch. Good morning to you too, sunshine.”
Her eyes narrow, but I still see the tiniest hint of a smile at the corner of her lips. “When you said date, I thought you were talking about dinner and maybe a movie. No one said anything about you standing in front of my door at six o’clock in the freaking morning to pick me up to go who knows where.”
Grabbing her hand, I pull her into a tight hug, inhaling her sweet scent before I whisper into her ear, “I promise you’ll like it.”
When she agreed to a date yesterday, I spent all evening planning it, after walking her home first of course, basking in her presence as much as I could.
“I doubt that.” She grumbles her complaints into my chest, and I squeeze her one more time before pushing her back gently. “Come on, sleepyhead, let’s go. We don’t want to be late.”
Her gaze flicks upward. “Late? How could we possibly be late to anything this early? Isn’t half the world still asleep?”
I chuckle at her theatrics and reach to smooth out her frown. “Not everyone is a little nocturnal like you.”
My hand moves to her cheek, and I gently brush my fingers over it. My heartbeat feels like it jumped into my throat as I watch her lean into my touch, right before she closes her eyes in pure contentment.
Shit. That feels good.
A soft breath escapes her pink lips, her mouth forming a small O, successfully waking up my dick too.
When she opens her eyes and looks at me, I inwardly groan, not having a clue how I’m supposed to keep my hands to myself today.
She holds up her own. “All right, you win. Let me go pee one more time and grab my bag so we can head out.” She disappears into the hallway that leads to her bedroom and bathroom, but not before I can admire her round ass in the jean shorts she decided to wear—probably in an evi
l attempt to kill me today—almost missing her faint voice. “I put some water in to the fridge in case we need it.”
“I’ll get it.” I close the door behind me and walk into the kitchen, getting the cold bottles out of the fridge. When I close the door, my eyes zoom in on the piece of paper, held up by what looks like a million little heart magnets.
Her husband checklist.
It’s handwritten, meaning she actually took the time to copy it from her phone after her awful date with Mr. Douche-canoe whose name I’ve already forgotten.
The fact that it’s on her fridge, a place where she continuously sees it, doesn’t escape my notice. Neither does the sensation of not being able to get enough oxygen. This is what Julia wants, what she’s looking for.
A husband—her ultimate goal.
Despite the fact that the sheer thought of being someone’s husband still gives me heart palpitations, there’s also some flutters in my stomach now, shifting my focus slowly but steadily, and I can only hope they stir me into the right direction.
When I hear her footsteps, I spring into action and meet her at the door.
After locking it, she points her finger at me. “Can we get some breakfast somewhere? I’m starving.”
“Yes, ma’am. I was planning on doing that anyway, grumpy butt.” I put my arm around her shoulder and pull her into my side as we walk to the parking lot. When we reach my car, I kiss the top of her head before opening the car door for her.
Once she’s settled, I rush around to my side and slip into the driver’s seat. I’m eager to get us out of here, excited to get to our destination, especially since I know she’ll love my surprise.
“You know, maybe my mood would be better if you told me where we’re going.” She gives me a pointed look, and I smirk at her.
“Nice try. Let’s get you some caffeine and sugar. I’m sure you’ll feel more human after that, or at least stop trying to bite my head off.”
“Very funny.” She sticks out her tongue as I drive out of the parking lot.
Half an hour later we’re finally on the freeway, heading south. Julia’s mood has improved after a large breakfast and an almost equally large coffee.
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