Emma Ever After

by Brigid Coady

  ‘We go to the States next month for their next big tour there. The buzz is incredible and we need to keep it going, need to stop any rumours from starting up, and most importantly, we need to raise the boys profile. It’s always tricky in the US… Any whiff of something not…’ he paused. ‘… Standard, and they start returning tickets. We’ve decided that before any pesky fan driven rumours start, we’ll plant some of our own. And then follow it up with reality, that is where you come in.’

  ‘Rumours, then reality, okay,’ she repeated as her head tried to catch up.

  ‘Yes, something juicy and newsworthy.’ Si glared down the table at Will and Ed.

  Will bumped his shoulder with Ed’s, his smile could only be described as smug.

  Emma could feel Si almost vibrate with frustration, his nails almost gouging a line in the table.

  ‘As you know the best way to do that is to get girlfriends, and fast.’ He growled as if this was a conversation that had happened more than once before.

  ‘Look, he’s just annoyed that we all live in the same block of flats and don’t go out partying every night,’ Will called back, still smiling. She wondered how hard it was for him not to flip the finger at Si. Will slung an arm round Ed’s neck. Ed smiled and said nothing. She wasn’t sure whether Ed’s smile could be considered sweet or if he looked just as smug as Will.

  It was obvious they were best friends, which was nice to see in the music business. And there was definitely an incredible amount of tension between Si and Will. If the band were really homebodies then they definitely needed to shake things up. A bit of partying and then they could quickly settle down into domestic bliss with a girlfriend. In fact, it was much easier when people actually wanted to settle down.

  ‘Can we just get on with it?’ Amit sounded bored.

  ‘All of you are getting girlfriends?’ Emma asked opening her notepad, holding a pen ready to take notes.

  Damn it, her fingers were shaking. It must be the adrenaline and excitement. Running four high profile fauxmances was going to be tough, especially trying to make it all look organic, as if they had all fallen in love, because it would be weird for all of them to suddenly topple like dominos within the same month. That was the sort of thing that sparked fan conspiracy theories.

  ‘Sean here is good to go. He’ll be our single boy, so the fans think at least one of them is available,’ Si said as Sean waved lazily.

  ‘All the more girls for me,’ he laughed and rubbed his hands together in glee.

  ‘Not that much competition, mate.’ Ed rumbled from the other end of the table.

  Si ignored him. ‘Amit needs one as well as them.’ The thumb he used to jab at Ed and Will, plus the viciousness of his voice, jolted Emma.

  Okay…

  ‘So, if I could just get an idea of what you guys would look for in a girlfriend?’

  There was silence, followed by a giggle from Sean. Will was staring at her like she was stupid.

  ‘No,’ said Si. ‘You don’t get it. This isn’t a dating show. This is about what sort of girl goes with their image. We’ve run the numbers and we’re not leaving anything to chance,’ he said as he passed over a thick printed handout. Bound.

  Okay… She was used to managers being hands on with their clients plus all artists had images that went with their brand but this was… Wow.

  She flicked through the document.

  Impressive. Whoever did their analytics, she thought, was good.

  She looked at the graphs, which showed exactly which demographic of the general public each boy was supposed to be attractive to. Who would be their key market. Then they’d split those groups of girls into what other things they liked, what brands they bought, what they watched. This was big business. It was all there in black and white. A marketing strategy in the making. Not bad for a band of boys who didn’t dance or play their own instruments. No wonder they weren’t leaving anything to chance.

  ‘But wouldn’t it be good if I got a chance to talk to the guys? Make it more organic?’

  Statistics and data were great, it could get you so far, but what she did went beyond that. It was about the people. She wanted to understand what made them tick. She needed to choose a girl who at least had something in common with them. With Phil and Brooke, the thing that had broken the ice and made them be more than PR relationship had been a shared love of Sweet Factory, an over rated Eighties rock band, whose only big hit had been the nauseating Barley Sugar. She had only just about managed to talk them out of having that as their first dance. Sweet Factory might have been the truth, the grit in the oyster that grew the pearl, but no one needed to know, because it didn’t fit with the narrative. It didn’t make the final result any less real.

  ‘Nope, no talking with them. Not today, it would be a waste of everyone’s time. Everything you need is in the presentation and that book. I want you to have a presentation with a shortlist of likely candidates and how the narratives would work ready for the end of next week. We’ll be in then, you can talk to the boys while you coach them on what they need to know for the story.’ In one move, Si waved her away and clicked his fingers, summoning the boys to stand.

  None of them moved straight away.

  Amit raised his eyes to the ceiling as if he was so over it all and then rolled off his chair onto the floor, lying there for a moment as Sean laughed down at him. Next, Sean rolled off his chair to lay next to him on the floor.

  How old were they, twelve?

  Emma quickly checked their bios again. Nope, they were both twenty.

  This could end up being a long-arse job.

  It was worse than having Gee and Johnnie reliving their band days. Maybe there was something inherently childlike necessary for people to be in boybands?

  ‘Get up,’ Si hissed.

  He didn’t seem to get a lot of respect from the guys, she thought, as she caught Will flipping Si the finger with his right hand.

  His other hand was holding Ed’s as he pulled him from the chair.

  ‘Let’s go,’ Si barked. ‘Emma.’ He nodded at her and led the way out of the room.

  Sean bounced up off the floor, came over, shook her hand and said, ‘See you next week.’

  Amit lazily got up, waved a hand in her direction and winked.

  She could only be thankful she had been exposed to the Gee Knightley experience, it had made her immune to the bad boys of boybands.

  Ed and Will stopped in front of her.

  Ed held out his hand and looked straight at her.

  ‘It was nice meeting you, Emma.’ His smile made her heart beat a little faster.

  Damn it, maybe she wasn’t as immune as she thought.

  But he was eight years younger than her. As she realised that, her heart beat normally again.

  ‘It was nice to meet you, Ed.’ She said shaking his hand.

  She turned to Will who was looking at her appraisingly.

  He didn’t offer her a handshake.

  She was sure that Will could read every small part of her soul, all the lies she told, as if he had stripped off her masks.

  It was a look she only usually saw from one other person. Gee.

  She wouldn’t squirm, but she could feel her body itching to shiver.

  ‘Emma,’ he nodded. ‘Bring your A game next week.’ He said it like a challenge. As if she wasn’t up to it.

  Why was her back straightening?

  Will was small and slight, like Peter Pan, but he looked like he’d fight dirty.

  The pair of them moved as one. She watched them walk out of the door before collapsing back into the chair.

  She stared at the thick document before her.

  Bloody hell.

  Chapter Nine

  ‘Do we have any ice?’ Emma said, her head in the freezer in the kitchen.

  ‘What?’ Gee had his feet up on the battered sofa that they kept in the corner of the room.

  ‘Ice.’ Emma slammed the freezer shut. She was sure she’d seen some
in there last week. Maybe she was imagining things. Her head was all over the shop since the meeting earlier in the week. Maybe having the party wasn’t such a great idea?

  ‘Johnnie and I used the last of it for Margarita Monday.’ He had his phone in his hands holding it over his face.

  She hoped it dropped on him, squishing his nose.

  Sometimes it was annoying to be faced with someone who had once won the vote for ‘most perfect smile’ on Sugarscape (RIP).

  ‘Well, go out and buy a couple of bags,’ she said. Did she have to think of everything?

  If she was having this party then it was going to be perfect. Work would see what a great place she lived in. She could take her mind off the presentation she had to give next week and she could get Jamie’s mind off Rob. He had been way too excited about a small chat they’d had in the print room on Thursday. She needed to stop it now before it went any further.

  Man, if she left it any longer she’d actively have to break them up. And no one wanted to do that. It wasn’t fair, it was much messier and took longer. Easier to never let it get that far.

  No, it was best she diverted Jamie with Dan now. Head off all the heartbreak.

  Which was why she needed ice.

  Because how else could she make sure the drinks were perfect if she didn’t have ice? She needed Jamie and Dan just inebriated enough that they would fall in love.

  Okay, she’d take lust for the moment. Either way, as Ogden Nash said, ‘Liquor was quicker’. Admittedly he’d been talking about icebreaking at parties but romance worked the same way.

  ‘Gee.’ She walked over and snatched the phone from his hand.

  She could just casually drop it on him…

  He looked up, his face all confused and grumpy.

  The violence melted away like the ice they didn’t have. She hated that he had that effect on her when she was in the right, her annoyance was justified wasn’t it?

  She wanted to scream.

  ‘Ice.’ She reiterated.

  ‘Ice?’

  ‘Party. Ice. Cocktails.’

  ‘Okay, okay…’ He was suddenly off the sofa and standing next to her, and in another movement, he’d taken back the phone.

  How the hell did he do everything so stylishly? So easily? She said it out loud without realising.

  ‘Yoga,’ he whispered in her ear.

  She shivered. It was a lie, he didn’t do yoga, and she almost called him on it. Instead she said, ‘Stop it,’ pushing him away and rubbing her ear as if it had cooties. No way did Gee need to know he could still give her goose bumps when she wasn’t expecting it.

  Mind you, she thought, she’d never come clean and told him he’d been her teen idol.

  ‘You know what I like about you most,’ a drunk Gee had said to her on the night they finished their last exam in their first year at uni.

  ‘No, what?’ Emma was staring into the bottom of her plastic cup. Had she really finished another pint of beer? How many was that?

  Everything felt a little fuzzy and blurred around the edges, like someone had smeared a coating of Vaseline on life.

  ‘You don’t care that I was in a band. Not once have you squealed or asked whether I’d snogged Johnnie.’ He patted her cheek. ‘That’s nice, that is.’

  Emma looked up and tried to bring his face into focus.

  He was so pretty. She shook her head and felt dizzy. No, not pretty, but beautiful. She’d always thought that ever since she’d first seen him on the TV in that reality show.

  Hold on, what was he talking about?

  ‘You treat me like I’m Gee,’ he carried on.

  ‘Yeah, Gee.’ She could feel words bubbling up in her. Maybe she should tell him? That actually she had a massive crush on him, that she had done since she was sixteen and ever since they’d started uni… well, he was the only one. The only one who made her feel safe.

  ‘Gee,’ she began. Should she do this? She was about to throw away some of the only stability she’d had in her life but… he was worth it. Wasn’t he?

  She was never going to have the guts to say it sober and as she didn’t get drunk very often because she hated feeling out of control, this was her chance,

  She could do this.

  ‘Gee…’

  ‘Yeah?’ He got closer, his hand resting on her hip. She wondered whether he’d kiss like she imagined when she was sixteen.

  ‘Hey, Gee.’ A slight man slid between them, causing him to let her go. The strange man’s hand slid down Gee’s arm possessively. ‘Haven’t seen you since that night.’ His emphasis on ‘that night’, dripping with innuendo, had her reeling back.

  Oh…

  ‘Hey…’ Gee furrowed his brow. ‘Erm…’

  ‘Andy,’ the guy purred.

  ‘Yeah, Andy, nice to see you mate.’ he said. ‘I’m in the middle of something.’ He manhandled the guy out of the way and looked back at Emma.

  ‘What were you going to say, Ems?’ He asked seriously, as if the answer was extremely important.

  No, because if she told him it would be ruined. Because Gee came with complications and she would be just another fan who wanted him for who he was. If she told him things would be messy and out of control. Okay, so he made her feel as if she were flying sometimes, especially when he looked at her like she mattered, like she was worth everything. But those feelings were only fleeting highs with lows. With him she would be on a rollercoaster. Love was a series of moments that faded. But friendship… that was steady. Safe. No, it was better if she kept things as they were, told a little white lie, and kept him as a friend.

  ‘Johnnie was always my favourite,’ she said with what she hoped was humour, while inside it was as if all the moments that they could’ve shared as something more faded away to nothing. She grabbed the nearest drink to wash the bitterness away.

  For a second he looked blank, then he smiled ruefully. His hand came up to touch her cheek before falling away.

  ‘How could you?’ His voice held a laugh that died quickly. ‘And he didn’t even win best celebrity smile.’

  So no, Emma hadn’t ever told Gee that she’d had a whopping crush on him both before and after meeting him. That was the closest she’d ever got. And it was for the best… after all, they were still here a decade later. Friends.

  She shook her memories away. It was old news. Everything was as it should be and nothing had changed. And it wouldn’t. Except they still didn’t have any ice.

  ‘George Knightley, move your arse and go get us some ice.’

  ‘Fine.’ He grabbed a hoodie and pulled it over his head.

  Automatically she moved so she didn’t see the way his back lengthened and the small patch of skin that flirted at the top of his jeans. It didn’t stop her mind filling in the images, mind you.

  But it wasn’t conscious these days.

  Ten years of learnt behaviour. A decade of control.

  Gee was on her plan, of course. How could he not be? He headed the column for best friend and potential ‘man of honour’ in the wedding.

  Yeah, all completely under control.

  ***

  ‘I love your house,’ Jamie breathed as he came through the door, a few hours later.

  Good, he’d come early.

  Emma took a good look at him.

  No. It just wouldn’t do.

  ‘Yes, it is a great house.’ She spun him round so she could see him from the back.

  ‘Eh, Emma, what exactly are you… you do know I’m gay?’ Jamie said worriedly.

  ‘What? Of course I do.’ How could he think she didn’t know? She had a very highly developed gaydar.

  ‘What I’m doing is making sure we make the most of your “assets”,’ she said as she spun him back to face her.

  He sniggered.

  She could feel her eyebrows rising. Did Jamie not know that this was a big deal tonight? He was going to make Dan Elton fall in love with him. And it would be as if Rob never existed.

  They woul
d become one of those cute couples like Harry Harville and Lewis Deakin, and then they would become PR power couple, she extrapolated in her head. They’d always be thankful that she had brought them together. She’d stop short of a double wedding with her faceless husband to be.

  ‘Don’t you mean “arse-ets”,’ Jamie giggled wiggling his eyebrows.

  Emma’s plans cracked. What the… he was an idiot. She had to do this if only to save him from himself.

  She watched as his smile fell when she didn’t laugh back and felt a pang. He didn’t get how important it was to have a plan which would take him places.

  And, admittedly, he was a very pretty idiot.

  ‘Yeah, funny,’ she laughed half-heartedly. Would he buy it?

  There was an uncomfortable pause as they stared at each other, Jamie biting his lip and starting to wrap his arms around himself like a pretzel.

  ‘Okay.’ She clapped her hands together like a demented kindergarten teacher. ‘I think we need to rethink that outfit.’ She could’ve have been less blunt with her opinion but they were operating on very little time. The party was almost about to start plus she needed to raid Gee’s wardrobe before he came back and put up some opposition.

  ‘But…’ he started, pulling his arms further around himself as if to stop her from ripping his clothes off.

  ‘No buts.’ She caught his arm and dragged him up the creaky staircase to the second floor where her room was.

  She ignored the wide-eyed scared look he gave her and shoved him into the centre of the room. She stared at him appraisingly.

  Well, that floral shirt needed to go. It was too fashion forward for Dan. He would be put off by anyone who looked quirky or too out there. He looked like the sort who wanted someone who was more conservative and sleek. Well-dressed but not showy.

  The jeans however could stay, which was good because Jamie was a few inches taller, and a little slimmer, than Gee and she wasn’t sure his jeans would work. Besides, she didn’t have the guts to borrow Gee’s jeans. It seemed sacrilege to have someone else wearing them.

  ‘Hold on,’ she said, racing back down to the first floor where Gee’s room was.