by Brigid Coady
Okay, she had a job. The edge of panic she’d felt since becoming unemployed eased a little. But this party was still making her anxious; she could go now, couldn’t she? She’d done her bit for Lewis. And all she could see were couples, either wrapped all over each other on the dancefloor or canoodling in corners. She knew Lewis meant it for the best, but she couldn’t stay here. She had to work out how to live when she was on her own. Because she never had been before, no matter what she had thought.
She knew she’d be fine. She was doing great. She had a job already, didn’t she, maybe she could freelance for more people, and build her own little business. Her mind automatically started making plans, working out the strategy. In three months, maybe…
No. She was supposed to be giving up plans for the time being, she needed to spend a bit longer learning to live in the moment.
‘Ems.’
Crap.
‘Hey, Jamie.’ She could feel her fists clenching. It would be too rude to push him aside and make a run for it, but she wanted to.
He was grinning wide. But then why wouldn’t he be? He was with Gee, perfectly imperfect Gee.
‘It is horrible at the office without you. Dan has turned into a dictator, in fact if it weren’t for, you know, reasons…’ He nudged her. ‘… I’d leave too.’
‘Reasons?’ she asked blankly. Could she get away before she had to see them cuddle? Sweat was beginning to trickle down her spine, it was gathering at the edges of her hairline.
‘You know…’ He nudged her again.
She really didn’t know and the nudging was getting annoying.
‘Hey babe.’ Jamie shouted over the crowd and waved.
Damn, her heart picked up speed. She couldn’t throw up, not here.
‘I really have to go.’ She touched his arm, trying to get past him. She couldn’t watch this. She couldn’t. No one would expect her to.
This was the downside of living in the moment, she thought fuzzily. You got some very deep lows to go with the highs.
A short satin heart barrelled out of nowhere. There was an arrow which matched the one in Jamie’s quiver right in the centre of it. The man in the heart costume waved happily at her.
He was short. And his hair wasn’t black. The eyebrows were not expressive. And he’d definitely never won a Teen Choice award.
It was Rob from Tech Dev. What was he doing here? How could he handle being around Jamie when he was with Gee? And still smile that happily. Maybe he could teach her how to survive heartbreak?
‘Really, Jamie…’ she began, when… Well, that was a surprise.
‘Why are you snogging Rob?’ she asked. How could he do that to Gee? Any sickness fled as anger began to build. How could anyone cheat on Gee and in front of his best friend?
‘Sorry.’ Jamie didn’t look sorry at all as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. ‘Can’t bear to be without this sweetheart for too long, can I?’
Even from behind his mask, he looked dopily in love with Rob, who was acting like the one huge heart he was dressed to represent as he cuddled up to Jamie.
Oh.
Jamie and Rob. Rob and Jamie.
She really was crap at this matchmaking lark.
‘I know you don’t like me,’ Rob said sadly.
‘Well…’ She spluttered. ‘That meeting when… Well.’
‘When I rolled over and took the blame? I know it looked bad but the team member who supposedly buggered it up was set up. They’d got tangled up with someone in senior management and it went bad. I needed to cover for them to give them some time to find a new job. That, and make sure the guy who did do it was caught.’
Jamie smiled incandescently at him.
‘Wow.’ There wasn’t much else she could say. Maybe Rob was too good for Jamie. No, she shouldn’t say that, they looked so happy it must be the right choice.
But that meant…
‘I thought you were in love with Gee,’ she whispered into Jamie’s ear not wanting to upset the walking cloud of love that was Rob.
‘Oh, that was because he was so nice after the Dan thing. And maybe at New Year I thought there could be something, but he invited Rob along. No idea how he knew about him.’ Emma was glad the mask hid her guilty blush. ‘Well, when it hit midnight and Gee was desperately trying to call you, Rob was there and…’ He broke off to smile at the smaller man again.
They started snogging again.
Gee wasn’t taken? He wasn’t with Jamie. Which meant…
Her heart raced and she felt as light as the helium balloons that grazed the ceilings.
Except… even if they weren’t together it didn’t mean that Gee wanted to be with her. She hit the ground with a bump.
‘I’m really happy for you,’ she said, averting her eyes. No one should have to see that amount of tongue action. ‘If you ever feel like you want to leave Mega! then let me know. I might have a few leads.’
She didn’t think Jamie heard her, but it didn’t matter.
‘Pssst… Woodward.’ She felt someone poking her shoulder. She turned away to give Rob and Jamie some privacy, but it was more to get away from seeing so much happiness.
In front of her was a small Danny from Grease. Black leather jacket, blue jeans and a white T-shirt. His hair up in a quiff, a black mask covering the top half of his face. But she recognised his smile.
‘Will!’ He pulled her into a hug.
‘What about me?’ The voice was low and gruff, seemingly incongruous coming from the tall and gangly Sandy at his side. The big curly blonde wig, the shiny tight trousers, lips painted red as she pouted. Except it was…
‘Ed?’ she said incredulously. Damn the boy for having such a great pair of legs.
‘Shh,’ he said with a grin. ‘We’re in disguise.’
She hugged him.
Releasing him, she stood back and stared at them. What could she say? The last time they’d been at a party had been when she had tried to forcibly closet them. And yet, here they were, holding hands.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said again.
‘Nothing to be sorry for,’ Will said, grasping her fingers and squeezing them. ‘If it hadn’t been you, it would have been someone else.’
‘Yes but…’ How could they forgive her?
‘No, Emma, you didn’t have to do what you did. You could’ve just resigned and moved on but you didn’t.’
‘And we heard from Paul how you covered for us after the wedding tableau,’ Ed said grabbing her other hand.
They smiled at each other.
‘Did you get his wedding photo back to him?’ she asked.
‘Ha, as if.’ Ed guffawed.
‘I thought it would be the best frame to show off the latest shot of “the girlfriend”… It was caught in the background of the lovely dovey Instagram couples photo that went out this morning. It turns out that it has a very distinctive engraving… and that Dan bloke doesn’t check things half as well as you did,’ Will said and winked.
They were still fighting. She hugged them both again.
‘Our song,’ Ed suddenly said, dragging Will away with him as You’re the One That I Want started playing.
She watched them with a smile before turning and pushing through the crowd. She could stand tall. She was going to survive, she was beginning to build a different and new life for herself. It was scary but it would be real and true. Because Emma Right Now was working towards a proper happily ever after.
A figure stepped in front of her, stopping her.
‘Ems?’ It was the wolf from Halloween. He pushed the mask up and there in front of her was Gee. He looked serious, his trademark eyebrows frowning down at her.
She pushed her mask up.
‘Hey, Gee,’ she said quietly.
‘I didn’t think you’d come but Harry told me you had, he pointed you out.’ So that was why Lew had been so definite about saying her name. He was a meddling matchmaker.
‘I came to meet his management, work out some
business.’ She shifted her gaze from his eyes, unable to meet them. ‘Good business this time, nothing shady.’ She wanted him to know.
‘I know. I think you’ll do an amazing job.’ She was watching his mouth so saw him smile.
‘Thanks.’
The silence between them felt heavy.
How did they end up here after ten years, neither knowing what to say to the other? Not knowing what they each wanted?
‘Emma, I know…’ He coughed, swallowed and carried on. ‘I know you wanted to forget what happened the last time we did this mask thing.’ He flicked his fingers, were they shaking?
‘You wanted to pretend it really had only been between Red Riding Hood and Mr Wolf. But the thing is, it wasn’t for me. It was always Emma for me and I was always Gee.’
She couldn’t breathe. What was he saying? She couldn’t help but look up at him then. No masks between them at last. She raised a shaking hand and smoothed the crinkled skin between his eyebrows.
‘I lied,’ she said. ‘It was always Gee for me too.’
‘Does that mean…’ He went silent for a moment. She couldn’t breathe.
‘Ah hell, Emma. You know me, I don’t do the speech stuff. If I loved you less, maybe I could make an impassioned speech, maybe even sing someone else’s love song. But I can’t, because you know who I am. You know me. You get my words.’ He grasped her hand from where it was still hovering near his face. He clutched it to his cheek. ‘You know you only get the truth from me. And the truth is I love you, I’ve always loved you. Because you really are the only one who gets me, did you know that? Always, since the beginning.’
‘Even when I was spinning my tales?’ She wasn’t sure where the air came from to answer him. This was everything she’d ever wanted but she needed to know that he was serious.
‘Tales and all. I know why you did it, Ems. I didn’t like it or what it did to you but it never stopped me loving you.’ He pulled her closer. ‘So?’
‘I love you,’ she said as she reached up and pulled his head down to her. She felt his breath on her lips and then his mouth over hers.
It was as if the world had stopped briefly, hesitating. Then she was sure she heard a click, before it started spinning again, faster but she had never felt so safe. Because she was home.
The End
Acknowledgements
After a year of having this book bubbling in my mind and another six months while it was written and edited, it is amazing that it is now set free into the world. It wouldn’t exist without the support of many different people.
First and foremost, my family. Mum, Dad and Annalise, thank you for everything, without your support things would be immeasurably harder. Mum, I will apologise now for the swearing. I won’t take it out but I will apologise.
I have the support of a great agent at a fantastic agency. Felicity Trew at the Caroline Sheldon Literary Agency is a true ally and partner. Thank you for having faith in me and I’m glad you love Gee as much as I do. And thank you to Caroline Sheldon for your support and encouragement.
My lovely editor Clio Cornish at HQ Digital for trusting me with where I wanted Emma and, especially, Gee to go. Thank you for your support! And a shout out to Victoria Oundjian for originally buying Emma Ever After. I hope you enjoy where I took it.
Liz Fenwick, there aren’t enough words to say how much your support helps me. Thank you for your friendship and pep talks. Also, I very much appreciated you letting me take over your dining room table to write part of this book and ferrying me to Penzance to finish the rest of it. No more clashing deadlines!
Julie Cohen and Anna Louise Lucia, I miss you both. Now I’m no longer on this ridiculous schedule I’m hoping we can get together soon. You refill my creative well.
Matt Turner – friend, driver, platonic soulmate. Thank you for taking me out for ‘airings’ to Starbucks when I’d locked myself away to wrestle with this book. I’m sorry we missed our annual Christmas lunch because of the ‘bloody book’. Easter good for you?
Danielle Whitney – desk mate and friend. Thank you for all your support and for helping me find time between the work madness to write. Also for letting me have the grand title, Head of Storytelling. Just remember to yell ‘PLOT TWIST!’ when things get “exciting”.
Cassandra Charles-Baggott, thank you for all your love and support and for letting me into the Victoria and Albert Museum Members Room. It definitely helped.
And Louise Veale, thank you for letting me borrow your Tate membership. It was much appreciated.
However, this book would not exist without fandoms. In fact, this story is my love letter to them in all their wonderful, crazy, and dysfunctional glory. It took me awhile to realise that I had been writing fan fiction since I was a teenager, I just didn’t realise that was what it was called. When I wrote that story based on The Scarlet Pimpernel back when I was sixteen, little did I realise that I was setting a precedent. This book is first and foremost a re-imagining of Jane Austen’s Emma. Which puts it firmly into the Jane Austen fandom. Some eagle eyed fellow fandom dwellers will spot that there are at least three other fandoms intimately woven into this story.
First and foremost, the One Direction fandom. This story wouldn’t exist without them. And I wouldn’t even have ended up down that rabbit hole if it wasn’t for Keris Stainton… so thanks for that! Can’t wait to finally go see Harry Styles with you. Thanks also to Katey Lovell for the support and the fellow boy band love. I so enjoyed our concert experience.
Anyone slightly acquainted with the fandom will know that the rainbow bears were a real phenomenon. Although one of the bears was seen in 2014, it wasn’t until the On The Road Again Tour in 2015 that there were two. Many concert tableaux and tweets later, they are part of fandom history with many a conspiracy theory attached to them. I confess to having taken one of those theories and applied it to my boy band.
I’d like to thank the Tumblr friends I’ve made in the fandom including Sheena (conscious--ramblings) and Maya (droppingtheveilofmaya) who have had to listen to me mutter about this book. Also thanks to the gang over on the ‘1D for olds’ slack, including Ally, Sacha and Joslyn.
One of the other fandoms woven through the story is Teen Wolf. Not the 1980s film and programme but the latest one. I will now confess that I don’t really watch the programme itself but I am an avid consumer of fan fiction written about it. In my mind, Gee has a passing resemblance to Tyler Hoechlin who plays Derek Hale in the show and is one half of the ship, Sterek.
And the last fandom? Well, there is a brief allusion to Skam, a glorious Norwegian TV show that changed the way I thought about storytelling. So, thank you to Julie Andem for creating it and to the young stars; including Tarjei Sandvik Moe, Henrik Holm and Iman Meskini, for bringing it to life.
Music is a huge part of my life and this book was written to a soundtrack that wove its magic around me and kept me in the world I was creating. You can listen to it here https://open.spotify.com/user/beeceez/playlist/1VPfFfoUD3O7KgN04q3W7A. Keir was a particular revelation to me, he’s played Glastonbury and I think we’ll see more of him soon.
I live in a very cosmopolitan city where people’s sexuality and gender identity are, in most cases, accepted. However, not everywhere is so accepting. There have been many instances of people being closeted in the Entertainment business and we should never judge anyone for that choice. But we do know that, especially in bands or shows that are supposed to appeal to young women, being LGBT has not historically been seen as something positive. It leads to an industry that encourages young men and women to hide this part of themselves if they want to be successful.
Bi-phobia is an issue that doesn’t get discussed either by the straight or the gay and lesbian communities. Bisexual people are traditionally seen as greedy, promiscuous people who can’t make up their minds. Because bisexuality isn’t visible, those that identify as such feel overlooked and mistaken as gay or straight depending on who they date. Gee being bisexual was almost
the first decision I made in this story and I’m so glad I did. Does it matter who someone loves? As long as they are honest and love well?
And finally, although I have played around with fandom conspiracy theories, obviously this story is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event. Obviously.
Dear Reader,
Thank you for taking the time to read Emma Ever After, I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Over Christmas I was reminded that fauxmances have been part of showbiz for decades. I watched Singin’ in the Rain and couldn’t help but laugh at the subplot where Gene Kelly’s character is in a fake relationship with his silent film co-star, just for the papers. It reminded me that nothing is new under the sun, or should that be rain?
My love of fandoms and the creative ways people engage and reimagine their favourite books, films, and TV programmes was a big inspiration for this story. As you can tell some of my favourite things are Jane Austen, music, TV, and boy bands and I am so happy to be able to write about them all in one book. I also love films and got the chance to write about them in my previous book, Persuading Austen, rewriting Persuasion with a touch of Pride and Prejudice.
If you enjoyed Emma Ever After, you’ll find some familiar faces in Persuading Austen, I have loved being able to go back and revisit them.
Best wishes,
Brigid
If you loved Emma Ever After, keep reading for an extract from Persuading Austen – a laugh-out-loud retelling of Persuasion, from the same author. Available now!
Chapter One
Wikipedia – William Elliot, Actor
William Charles Elliot – born March 1, 1950. Renowned actor. Son of Sir Walter William Elliot – actor, theatre manager, director – and Elizabeth Siddons, actress. Married July 15, 1974, to Molly Stevenson, actress (died 2002). They had four children: three girls and a stillborn son. Imogen Elliot, actress (1982), Anne (1983?), a son (1984), and Marie, actress and TV presenter (1986) married to Charles Musgrove, investment banker.