by Taylor Dean
Something flashed in Chloe’s eyes, a sign of deep emotion, a sign of raging sentiment. He knew she had strong feelings concerning this issue. “You have to save your baby.”
Relief washed over him. He knew she’d understand. “She’s been really sick, throwing up all the time, and she’s lost an alarming amount of weight. I can’t believe she waited this long to go to the doctor. She thought she’d picked up some sort of rare disease while traveling.” Jack suspected she’d known all along she was pregnant, but hadn’t been sure what to do.
Chloe didn’t respond to the random details.
“She says if I return to her, she’ll have the baby. But only if I return to her. She says she can’t do it alone…she won’t do it alone,” Jack reiterated.
His next words rushed out of his mouth with frustration. “Please try to understand. I have to do this. I have to. I have to do it for my child.” He took a deep breath, trying to control his emotions.
They stared at one another in silence, never breaking eye contact.
After a moment he said, “Please say something.”
“You have to save your baby. Of course you do,” she repeated numbly. Her eyes were slightly wild as she desperately attempted to process the information.
Her “in the heat of the moment” response impressed him. “I love you,” he said, loving her more each moment.
His phone rang then and he glanced at the caller ID. “It’s Taryn.” He figured as much. He flicked his phone open, deliberately placing it on speakerphone. “Hello.”
“Jack, I feel so sick. I can’t take it anymore. I’m dizzy and my hands are shaking. I need you. Where are you? Have you left yet?” she demanded.
“I’ll be there soon. Just go home, lie down, and take it easy. Rest is the best thing for you right now.”
They stared into each other’s eyes, something tangibly dying between them. He could almost feel her slipping through his fingers; becoming something he desperately wanted and couldn’t have.
“I can’t do this, Jack. I don’t think it’s safe for me to be on the road. I can’t even pass by a restaurant without feeling like I’m gonna be sick. You promised me, Jack. I need you right now.”
“Calm down. I’ll be there in thirty minutes. Try to relax until then.”
Click. She hung up on him.
Jack placed his phone in his pocket and sighed heavily, exhaling with obvious frustration. It was going to be a hellish five or so months.
“Chloe,” he said as he took her in his arms in a frenzied embrace, filled with all of the angst that came with the situation. They clung to one another with frantic longing. “I love you, Chloe, I love you,” he murmured as he held her tightly. He again felt the desperation in her touch, the way her hands held onto him, moving over his back as if looking for a piece of him that she could hold on to. He pressed his lips to hers ever so lightly. She didn’t respond this time, but she didn’t resist either. Once again she was reining in her emotions, but this time she wasn’t letting them get away from her.
Jack rested his forehead on hers and slowly exhaled. Feeling frustrated, he turned from Chloe and paced the room a few times, relieving nervous energy. How could he explain his actions?
He stopped and faced her, knowing there was only one way to help her understand. “A little while back Tayrn wanted a cat. She went on and on about it. She wanted one of those white Persian cats with the blue eyes. Gorgeous and expensive. So I bought her one for Christmas. It was the most unfriendly cat I’ve ever met, but Taryn loved her. Adored her even.
“But then I had to go out of town for a week and when I returned, I found the cat lying on the floor of an upstairs bedroom. It was near death. Do you know what the cause was?”
“What?”
“Near starvation. Taryn completely forgot to feed the cat. The vet was able to save her, thank goodness. Then a few days later, Taryn accidentally left the front door open and the cat ran away. We never found her.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Chloe asked, her voice trembling.
“I don’t trust her. How could I ever trust her with my child?” Jack’s eyes bored into hers.
Chloe pushed the hair from her eyes, her hand visibly shaking. “What exactly are you saying, Jack?”
He moved close, standing directly in front of her, their bodies almost touching. She knew what he was saying; she just wasn’t ready to accept it yet. “This is something I have to do,” he said quietly.
The stricken expression on her face killed him. He stared into her eyes, saying nothing.
“Jack?” she said, a pleading note in that one word. Chloe’s bottom lip quivered and it was nearly his undoing.
“Please try to understand,” he begged.
A lone tear trickled down Chloe’s cheek. “You’re going back to her,” she whispered, a statement, not a question.
“Yes.” Jack went on. “I’m not doing this for Taryn, I’m doing this for my child. For that reason and that reason alone. It changes nothing between us. Somehow I’ll get custody and when I have this all figured out, I promise I will be back for you, if you’ll have me. I’m sorry. I know this is difficult.”
“Please don’t do this to us,” Chloe pleaded.
“I don’t have a choice.”
“You do. There has to be another way.”
“I can’t abandon my child. I can’t.”
“I’m not asking you to. I would never ask you to do that.”
“Tell me another way and I’ll do it. I’d do anything for you, Chloe.”
“I…” she said, and then faltered, quickly realizing there was no other way.
He cradled her face with both of his hands, swiping away another tear. “Listen to me. I know what I’m asking of you is difficult. For all intents and purposes it will look as if I’ve left you and returned to Taryn because she’s having my baby. I realize this puts you in an awkward position. But I don’t want to let go of us.”
“I don’t either,” she whispered.
“I’m not returning to Taryn. I promise you, I’m not. I would never do that to you, Chloe. I would never betray you like that.”
“I know you wouldn’t.”
Jack momentarily closed his eyes with relief, loving her for trusting him. They were both silent for a few moments, their eyes locked with each other’s.
“I don’t like putting you in this position, waiting for me as I welcome a baby into the world. I know how hard this is for you. I’m not even sure how long this will take. It doesn’t seem fair to string you along. I only know that I have to save my child. If you want out right now, I’ll understand completely. But know this, I’ll be back for you as soon as I’m free again.”
Chloe fell silent, visibly stunned by his words. He could almost see her mind working, processing the information.
“What about our engagement? Our wedding?”
“I’m sorry. We’ll have to put it on hold for awhile. Taryn believes I’m returning to her, but I’ve already told her I’m not interested in resuming a relationship. She’s accepted it, but I know she thinks that with time, things will change.” Jack kissed her on the lips. “They won’t. I’ve made it apparent that I’m returning only for our child. Whatever it is she thinks this ploy will achieve, she is sadly mistaken and I’ve made that abundantly clear.”
Another tear slipped down Chloe’s cheek, breaking his heart.
“If you’re not okay with this, I won’t ask you to wait for me. You’ll never lose me though. This is only temporary.”
“You won’t lose me either,” she said, moving closer and wrapping her arms around his waist, and resting her head on his chest. He loved the way they fit together so perfectly, like two puzzle pieces that had found their home. Chloe seemed completely shell-shocked and he didn’t blame her. He’d had twenty-four hours to come to terms with everything. She’d had five minutes. The desire to take her to the couch and kiss her senseless became an overwhelming temptation, but he resisted. It wasn’t t
he right time. What he was asking seemed so unfair to her. Even though he knew she’d understand his predicament, he hadn’t been entirely positive she’d be willing to support him in the endeavor. Her willingness thus far, surprised him. He knew he was placing her in an incredibly awkward situation. His heart ached for her. He wondered if all she’d really heard was I’m having a baby with Taryn and I’m leaving you. In spite of his explanations, it was the ugly truth, one that resonated within her in ways he couldn’t begin to fathom.
“You’ll have a baby,” she said, perhaps not realizing she’d said it out loud.
“Yes,” he answered.
Slowly, she exhaled, and if she’d given voice to that exhale he was pretty sure it would’ve been a moan. The thought physically hurt. He wondered how clearly she was really thinking right now. Devastating news had a way of leaving you speechless.
“Where exactly does this leave us?” she said, releasing him and taking a step backwards. It felt like the beginning of letting go and he hated it.
“As far as I’m concerned, nothing has changed between us.”
A worried look crossed over Chloe’s features as she thought things through. “Taryn can’t think we’re still engaged, Jack. It will make it obvious you’re never returning to her.”
“That’s the truth.”
“Yes, but if she believes there’s a chance, it will give her hope. That hope is the only thing keeping your baby alive. You do realize that, right?”
He was mistaken. Chloe was thinking very clearly, not only that, she was thinking ahead. He ran his hands through his hair. “I suppose you’re right.” When all was said and done, he absolutely did not want to lose Chloe, though. “I’ve agreed to return to her, but I haven’t given her one single shred of hope concerning us. I’ve been totally honest with her.”
“We both know what her intent is. She wants you back and she knows you’ll return to her for your baby.” Chloe reached over, slowly and deliberately removing her engagement ring. She placed it in the palm of his hand. “Just for the time being. It’s for the best, Jack. You and I know what’s really going on. That’s all that matters to me.”
That she could be so understanding floored him. His mom was right; he got it right this time around. “I’ll save it for you. It will be yours again one day very soon. I promise,” Jack said, worried thoughts wandering through his mind. A woman will only wait so long for a man. When this was over, would she be willing to take him back? The thought got under his skin and bothered him like a painful sliver. This was a betrayal, even though he was choosing a child over her—and even though he knew she understood that choice—it was still a betrayal. The fact that it was Taryn carrying his child had to sting. It was the second time in a mere four months that Taryn had stolen her man right out from under her.
The resigned aura surrounding her was alarming. Even though she’d said all the right things and granted him her full support, Jack wondered what was really going through her mind. He felt as though she was closing down, just as she had after losing Christopher, and Jack suddenly understood everyone’s anxiety over her behavior. The distressed look in her eyes scared him.
“Please say something. Tell me you understand,” Jack pleaded.
“I do.” Another tear trickled down her cheek and she swiped at it with delicate hands. “I really do.”
He took her in his arms and hugged her close, feeling as though they’d made a secret pact. Would she really be able to follow through with her brave words? “You’re the one that I love, Chloe. It’s you, only you.” Her grip was fierce. “Thank you for being so understanding.”
His phone rang again and Chloe broke free abruptly.
“It’s Taryn again,” Jack said as he flipped his phone closed and ignored the call.
“I have to go now,” she whispered.
“I’ll call you. I’ll keep in touch as much as I can. We’re not over, Chloe. We’re not.”
Chloe nodded in agreement, then picked up her pace, heading straight for the front door. He followed, disturbed by the situation he’d placed her in. Once she reached the door, she said, “Be happy, Jack.”
And that was it.
Chloe climbed into her car, her movements mechanical. Jack still stood in the doorway, watching her, his expression stricken. She looked away, not wanting it to be the last memory she held of him. Holding herself together, she drove away from Jack and the beautiful home that was supposed to be theirs, but would now belong to Taryn.
Jack, Taryn, and baby.
Chloe only made it a few streets away before she broke down.
She pulled onto a side street and let it all out, gasping in between sobs, barely able to breathe. The force of her tears caused her entire body to convulse. The sight of Jack and Taryn—standing together in his living room, a couple once again—tore at her heart. Jack would stand at Taryn’s side. She knew he would. She’d known it the moment Taryn had announced that she carried his baby. It was etched into his character and he could do nothing less.
They were having a baby. A baby. Above all, it was the thing that tugged at her heart with the most painful intensity. The one thing she couldn’t do correctly, Taryn could. The one thing she wanted most in the world, Taryn now had. She had a baby—not just a baby, Jack’s baby—and she now had Jack too. Chloe’s insides felt ripped open and laid bare. Jack would soon be with Taryn, coddling her, seeing to her every need, thrilled to have a baby of his own. I’ll be there soon, just lie down and take it easy.
Taryn was four months along. She’d just assumed that Jack and Taryn had been on the outs, that their marriage had been failing and that they were not intimate with each other.
Nope. They were still making love until the bitter end.
The idea niggled at her and caused acidic bile to settle in the pit of her stomach.
Opting to wait for their wedding night, Chloe had never experienced making love with Jack.
Would it ever happen? It seemed unlikely.
The writing on the wall seemed blatantly obvious to her. Even though Jack couldn’t see it, she could.
Now that Taryn had Jack again, she’d never let him go. There would always be something to hold him. She’d manipulate him into doing whatever it was that she wanted. Because Jack would do anything for his child. And Taryn knew it.
She lived in a world of no more.
No more Sundays with Jack’s crazy, loud, and wonderful family. No more beautiful home. No more midnight swims with Jack. No more passionate kisses. No more anything. It was over.
Jack was hanging onto her and she loved him for it. There was no reason to be angry with him. He was doing the right thing. But Chloe knew everything had just changed between them. And she wasn’t sure they’d ever be the same again.
The look on Jack’s face as he’d imparted the devastating news haunted her. She’d never seen him so serious, so grave.
Chloe threw the car into gear and sped dangerously all the way home. When she entered her house, she looked around and realized that she’d really let things go. How could she? The house was a mess, disgustingly so. When was the last time she’d cleaned the baseboards? When was the last time she’d scoured the sink? When was the last time she’d vacuumed under the beds? There must be a thick layer of dust EVERYWHERE.
Chloe spent the next three hours deep cleaning every nook and cranny of her house, frantically, as if she were a crazy woman, as if cleaning away the grime would cleanse her soul of pain. In all actuality, it was the only thing that felt within her control at the moment, and she grasped onto it as if it were her lifeline.
Winded and exhausted, she collapsed in Christopher’s room for another hour, missing him more than ever. If only she had him, she wouldn’t feel so alone. She wouldn’t need Mark or Jack. They could go off with Taryn all they wanted. Who cares?
The Room didn’t assuage her this time around. One fact kept swirling through her mind.
Jack was having a baby with Taryn.
It ma
de Chloe long for Christopher.
Two entirely different events—and yet, Chloe had a hard time separating her emotions.
She walked to her bedroom and fell onto the bed, face first. And then she cried.
And cried and cried and cried. For Jack, for Christopher, for Mark, for Jack’s baby. Everything melded in her overwrought mind.
She stayed in bed the next day. Depression overwhelmed her and took her captive. She hardly had the energy to get out of bed and fix herself a meal. The thought of food made her stomach churn. She texted her client and said a family emergency had occurred; she wouldn’t be in for the next week.
She missed Jack. She yearned for him and didn’t understand how he couldn’t perceive her need for him and come running.
He called once. He left a message, saying he just wanted to check up on her and see how she was doing. His voice was subdued, most unlike cheerful Jack. She listened to his message at least twenty times, just to hear his voice.
Then he sent reinforcements.
Whoever was at the door refused to stop knocking. Thirty minutes went by and Chloe finally pulled herself out of bed, intent on giving the persistent person a piece of her mind. She peeked through the peephole.
Just as she had suspected, it was Harper and Sydney.
Not Jack.
She’d wanted it to be Jack so much, she could hardly stand it. Instead he sent his sisters to clean up his mess.
Chloe threw open the door. “What?” she blurted nastily, the morning sun making her squint. Her sudden bout of anger took her by surprise.
They stared at her, speechless, probably taken aback by her tone, and probably shocked by her appearance. After lying in bed for an entire day, crying, sleeping, and not eating, she doubted she was looking her best. That was an understatement.
“Oh Chloe,” Harper said as tears ran down her face.
Even Sydney had nothing witty to say. When Chloe saw tears on Sydney’s face too, she lost it.
“I don’t wanna talk right now,” she said through a sob. Chloe started to shut the door, but Sydney stopped it with her foot.
Sydney and Harper pushed inside her home without permission. They took her in their arms and held her as she cried like a baby, sobbing almost uncontrollably, wiping her face on their shoulders. And they cried right along with her. They sunk to the floor and cried until they were spent. Staring at each other blankly, the silence of the house stifling, Sydney finally said, “Upstairs, young lady.”