“Soon buddy, I know I’ve been busy.” I frowned.
All of my relationships had been neglected as of late. My life had consisted of my job, and my mother. Now, I was trying to fit Tessa into that, and I needed her to stay here if this was going to work. The thought scared me because I wasn’t so sure that she’d want that.
“It’s ok. Daddy’s been showing me a few things.” He smiled.
“Oh, really?” I said glaring over at Tyler.
“Oh yeah, don’t think football is all I know.” He smiled.
My phone buzzed, and I groaned. I could never have a moment’s peace. Pulling my phone out, I saw it was home. I knew I needed to get going because I was supposed to take my mom to lunch, not to mention, I had Tessa waiting.
“I got to get going.” I said regretfully and Danny frowned.
“My birthday’s next week. Are you coming?” he asked.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I smiled brightly.
“I’ll see you guys later.” I said, hugging Amanda, then Tyler.
“Don’t let the past eat at you. Just worry about your future with, Tessa.” Tyler replied and I nodded. He had a point. What was done was done, but a part of me wanted to know why Jocelyn did what she did.
When I got home, Tessa was gone. Riley told me that she had headed back to the hotel and would be back later. After Riley left, I headed upstairs to see my mother in her room, she was fixing her makeup. I was glad to see that she was getting ready. I knocked lightly and she looked over at me as I leaned up against the door frame.
“I thought I told you never to come back here.” She snapped as her smile turned to an angry frown. I wasn’t ready to deal with this today. Running a hand through my hair, I took in a breath.
“Mom, it’s me. Your son, Landon.” I said.
“Liar!” she shouted.
I stayed put to avoid any angry outbursts. I didn’t want to upset her.
“Mom…”
“Get out!!” she shouted shooting to her feet.
“Please, calm down.” I replied.
“It’s your fault Landon is afraid to trust or love anyone. He’s screwed up in the head and won’t let anyone in. No matter what I’ve done, I failed him because of you, Harrison!” she shouted and I frowned, hurt by her words.
“I hate you!” she shouted, before gasping in pain.
“Mom?” I asked concerned as I rushed over to her.
“Let me go!” she shouted before groaning in pain again. Grabbing her head, she collapsed in my arms as my heart sank.
“Mom!!” I screamed, feeling helpless. I didn’t know what to do.
Nineteen
I rushed down the hospital’s corridor, as I searched for Landon. He had called me hysterical, saying he needed me down at the hospital. I had of course dragged Gwen with me because I didn’t know what was going on. When we arrived, there were tons of reporters snapping my pictures, and I hated it.
I saw Landon sitting in the waiting area with his face in his hands. I rushed over to him as quickly as I could.
“Landon,” I called and he looked up to me. His face was riddled with tears and my heart broke for him. “What happened?”
“My mother had an aneurysm.” He sniffled as he pulled me into his arms. “It’s my fault.”
“Landon, it’s not your fault.” I insisted.
“It is!” he shouted letting me go. “She was yelling at me when she had it—I should’ve taken better care of her.”
“Landon, you have to stop blaming yourself for everything. You did everything you could for your mother. You even dropped everything to care for her.” I pointed out, but he shook his head.
“It obviously wasn’t enough. She’s not going to wake up—they want me to—they told me to make plans for her just in case…How am I supposed to—” his breath got caught in his throat as more tears fell from his eyes.
I pulled him back into my arms and held him tight as he sobbed. My heart hammered against my ribcage as the thoughts of death seeped into me. The pain of losing Dean festered up and I nearly broke into tears. This wasn’t the time for that. I was here for Landon, and I intended to be.
“I need to go to the bathroom.” He sighed, trying to dry his tears.
“Ok, I’ll be here waiting.” I replied, and he nodded before walking off.
I splashed water on my face before staring at myself in the mirror. My mother’s words resonated in my head and I nearly began crying again. I was screwed up in the head, as much as I hated to believe it. I seemed like a well put together guy on the outside, but on the inside, I was all kinds of messed up. I was scared to get close to anyone—and obviously my mother knew it. Hell, she was the only reason I started to look for a real girlfriend. I wouldn’t have met Tessa if it weren’t for my mom, but now that she was—God, I couldn’t even think about saying it.
What was I even with Tessa for now?! My mother wasn’t going to be here to see us together…sighing, I tried my best to stay positive, but it was hard. I wanted to be with Tessa because I’d fallen in love with her. I needed her now, more than ever, so pushing her away would be stupid on my part. I just needed to know she felt the same way. It was going to be now or never.
Opening the bathroom door, I saw Tyler standing near the elevator, on the phone. I was glad to have him here for support. He couldn’t see me from where I was standing, so I waited until he was done with his call. I hated being rude when someone was on the phone.
“Don’t come down here. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t want to see you.” Tyler barked. I frowned, puzzled at who he was talking to. If it was Zach, I damn sure didn’t want to see him. But why in the hell would he be talking to Zach?
“Look, Landon hates you for what you did. He knows you lied to him, so you need to stay away. Now is not the time to try and ease back into his life.” Tyler barked and my eyes widened angrily.
“Jocelyn, stop it ok? He’s my best friend and I don’t know what you’re trying to pull.” He stopped and listened to whatever the she-devil had to say.
“If he finds out that it was me who was with you that night, he’ll never forgive me.” Tyler replied, and I felt like I got shot in the chest. I slipped back down the hallway without him seeing me.
I needed to get out of there before I had a meltdown, and not a girly meltdown. I meant as in the, kick my best friend’s ass, in front of the entire hospital staff, and go to jail, kind of meltdown. My mind was racing as I saw Tessa talking to Gwen.
“Tess, can you come see my mother with me?” I begged hurriedly.
“Are you sure you want me to be in there with you?” She asked, as I grabbed her hand and pulled her down the hall.
“Landon!” I heard Tyler’s voice call, and I stopped in my tracks.
So much for that idea; I looked over at Tessa, and she saw the look in my eyes. I’m sure she knew something was about to happen because of the look she gave me. She squeezed my hand, and I sucked in a breath.
“Landon, I’m here. I heard what happened. Are you ok?” Tyler asked.
Turning around, I threw a punch with all my strength. I mean I used everything I had in me as my fist planted into Tyler’s jaw. He fell to the hard hospital floor as Tessa and Gwen gasped in shock.
“I am now.” I huffed as I towered over my now ex best friend.
“What the hell?!” he shouted cradling his split lip, and bruised jaw.
“You screwed me over when you fucked Jocelyn.” I snapped and Tyler’s eyes went wide.
“Landon…”
“Save it. You let me believe it was Zachary fucking Ryan all these years. I have nothing else to say to you.” I barked before grabbing Tessa’s hand, and pulling her down the hall.
Hours slipped past as I sat by my mother’s side. I prayed and prayed for her to wake up, but nothing changed. I hated not being able to do anything. I had the best specialists flying down to look her over, but right now, there was nothing I could do. It was just a waiting game and I knew
that every second that ticked by could’ve been her last. While sitting there, worrying, I knew I was in total shock. I felt like I was in a terrible nightmare and I just couldn’t wake up.
“Landon?” I heard Tessa’s voice call through my haze.
“Hmm?” Was all I could muster.
“The other doctors are here.” She said, and I looked back to see a few of them at the door. Damn, I must’ve really been out of it because I didn’t hear anything. The head doctor had salt and pepper hair, and was medium build. It was apparent that he’d been doing this for a while.
“Hello, Mr. Brooks. My name is Dr. Shepard, and I’ve looked over your mother’s charts.” He replied as I stood and shook his hand.
“What do you think?” I asked desperate.
“I would like to examine her myself if you don’t mind. And if she’s viable, I’d like to go in immediately and stop the bleeding.
“Surgery? They said they couldn’t operate, and even if you could—my mom’s against it. She was clear that if anything happened to her—”
“Mr. Brooks, I can see that you’re stressed. In this situation, it’s understandable. You called me down here for my expertise, and I’m here to deliver.” Dr. Shepard informed.
I nodded as Tessa slipped her hand in mines. It was nice to have her here for support because I was alone. Tyler damn sure was out of my circle, even the mere thought of him made my blood boil. My sister was out of town, and I hadn’t called her because I didn’t want to stress her out or worry her. She had enough to deal with right now, and school was her top priority. I was the one to deal with anything else.
“So, let me examine her and we’ll go from there, after you go and get some rest.” Dr. Shepard insisted.
I got his hint, but I didn’t want to leave my mother. Tessa, on the other hand, tugged me out of the room. I went reluctantly, and the doctors closed the door once we were in the hall.
“After you talk with the doctor, I think we should go home.” Tessa insisted and I shook my head.
“I’m not leaving my mother here, alone.” I replied.
“Landon, you’re no good to her like this. You haven’t eaten and it’s after midnight. You need to rest. You can’t help her if you’re in a hospital bed, too.” She pointed out.
“I’ll go home if you stay with me.” I muttered.
“Of course I’m going to stay with you.” She insisted, but I don’t think she understood what I really meant.
“I mean stay with me, stay with me. I need you with me, Tessa.”
“Landon, I don’t think we should be having this conversation right now.” Tessa responded.
“I think we should. I need you—I’m asking you to be with me. Don’t leave and run off to LA for some money. Stay with me.” I practically begged.
“Landon—I can’t…”
“Then go. Get out of here!” I shouted cutting her off.
I should’ve seen this a mile away. Tessa didn’t like me, she liked my money. A better offer came her way and I knew she was going to take it. I didn’t want to feel that way, but here she was turning me down. I just felt so stupid for opening myself up to her. I couldn’t take this type of rejection at the moment, and dragging it out would’ve only made it worse.
“Landon—”
“No, just go.” I barked angrily.
“You’re not thinking straight. You’re just angry about everything. Don’t do this right now.” Tessa begged.
“Tell me you love me.” I demanded. “Tell me you want to be with me.”
Tessa stood there, staring at me, and my already damaged heart broke into a million more pieces.
“We can talk about this later.” She opted, but I shook my head.
“No, we can’t. Leave me alone, and don’t ever come back.” I said sternly and she frowned.
“I’m sorry.” She said sucking in a breath to stop from crying I supposed, but whatever.
She was the one only half in. I wanted all of her—but not anymore. I had a feeling she was hiding something—maybe she was in love with someone else. Come to think about it, she never got to answer my question about that before, because Jocelyn had interrupted us. I couldn’t trust anyone.
It was apparent that it was just going to be me against the world.
Twenty
A week had passed since my mother had been in the hospital. Days seemed to blur by for me. I ultimately let my mother have the surgery, but there was still no change. Not for the good anyway. She was deteriorating slowly, and I refused to accept it. After sitting at the hospital for half of the week, I decided to go home, and home is where I stayed. I didn’t go out for work, food—hell, I didn’t even go out to get any air. I was stuck in a rut, and barely sleeping. My life had fallen apart in one freaking day, and all I wanted to do was go back.
Back to the very moment before everything had fallen apart. I wanted to just take my mother to lunch, and afterwards, be with Tessa. God, the thought of her made my heart ache. I hadn’t talked to her either since I’d sent her away. I grabbed the half empty bottle sitting next to me and drank it. I had been getting wasted every day to numb the pain of everything. Looking at my guitar, I thought of the last time I played it…
Strumming my finger through the keys, I stopped to write down the next note on my sheet music. I had been writing all day, for the first time in a long time. It was nice to just sit and write for once with no ringing cell phone.
“I didn’t know you could actually play.” Tessa’s voice said, startling me.
“Well, I haven’t had the time to play in a while. My drive hasn’t been the same anyway, but I found a new muse.” I smiled, and she blushed.
I loved when she did that because it meant she really cared.
“How’d you get in?” I asked curiously.
“Riley, let me in.” she answered. “I hope that was ok.”
“Since it’s you, I’m guessing it was alright.” I smiled as I wrote another note of the song.
“Can I hear it?” Tessa asked.
“I told you, I don’t play for people.” I said, shaking my head.
“I’m not “people”. Can’t you make an exception for me?” she pouted with her puppy dog eyes.
“Oh, don’t give me those eyes.” I replied.
“Then play your new song for me.” She replied wrapping her arms around my neck, and I couldn’t resist.
“Okay, but don’t laugh.” I insisted and she squealed.
Tessa sat on the edge of my bed and stared at me as I started to play the new song I’d wrote specifically for her.
A knock at my door jolted me out of my thoughts. Who the hell could it be? No one had a key. Turning around, I saw my door open and I waited to pounce on whoever it was.
“I’m coming in. I hope you’re decent.” I heard my baby sister’s voice say.
Cassidy poked her head into my room, and she frowned the moment she saw me. She had long auburn hair, with full lips that were laced with red lip stick. Her eyes were big, and also plastered with makeup. Cassidy was tall and lean, nothing like I remembered. She was definitely a model. Boy had she grown up.
“Jesus bro, it wreaks in here.” She said, stepping into my room.
“Stop yelling.” I replied grabbing my head, before taking another swig.
“I’m not yelling.” She said walking over to me, and grabbing my drink out of my hand.
“Hey!” I shouted angrily.
“Landon, what the heck is going on with you?” she asked with disappointment laced in her tone.
“I’m fine.” I shrugged trying to shake off my hangover. I didn’t want to be this messed up in front of her. Which by the way made me think of something.
“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be away at school.” I barked, looking up to her from the floor.
“I was, until word spread all the way to where I was that my mother was in the hospital.” She snapped.
“Damn it.” I muttered angrily.
“Why didn’t you call me?” she asked, frustrated.
“I didn’t want to worry you.” I said as I felt like hurling. Grabbing my stomach, I half crawled to my bathroom, and threw up all the crap I had drunk.
“Yeah, good job of that.” I heard Cassidy say as I wiped my mouth on the back of my hand.
“I’m fine.” I lied.
“Get a shower and when you’re done, come downstairs. I’m making you some breakfast.” She snapped.
I groaned, but couldn’t really say no. I felt like hammered shit, and most likely smelt like it too. I hadn’t been out of my room in days, and had barely been out of my bed. When I did, it was only to grab another drink. Pulling myself up off of the floor, I turned on the shower and watched the water. How could such a purifying thing, leave me with such torment?
Pushing the thoughts deep into my mind, I stripped before stepping under the hot spray of the water. I had to admit it felt good against my aching body. After my shower, I got dressed in a t-shirt and shorts and headed downstairs.
Cassidy was in the kitchen cooking as she promised, but there was a plate set out for me.
“I’m not hungry.” I replied pushing the plate aside.
“Too bad, because you’re going to eat.” Cassidy barked.
“Cass—”
“I don’t want to hear it. We’re going to see mom, Landon. You’re the only family I have left, and I need you to be ok.” Cassidy snapped and I sighed.
She was right; we were all we had left. The thought was scary and something I’d fought hard to prevent. Because of my father, my mother wasn’t close to any of her family, which ultimately left us alone.
“I am ok.” I lied, again.
“Right, is that why you’re here alone, drinking yourself to death? Landon, what happened to you? This can’t be just about mom, is it?” Cass asked, concerned.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I snapped.
“Don’t shut me out too, Landon. I called Tyler after you never answered me, and he said he was worried about you.” Cass responded.
“Screw, Tyler!” I shouted shooting to my feet.
“Landon…”
“Don’t bring him up to me ever again.” I snapped, cutting her off.
Finding His Mrs. Right (Mending Hearts Series) Page 12