“Landon—” I struggled to say, but the word barely came out.
I grabbed his hands and tried to pry them off, but Landon was too strong.
“You ruined my life.” He muttered.
Landon squeezed harder and I gagged for air, but there were none. Only darkness crashing in around me.
“Landon!” I screamed, clawing his hand. He winced in pain as his door flung open and Cassidy was standing there.
“Landon, get off of her!” she screamed in totally shock as he let me go.
Looking back at his sister, then down at me, Landon paled. I sucked in all the air I could as tears escaped my eyes. I grabbed my throat, which I had no doubt that it was bruised.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered. “Oh God, I’m sorry.”
With that, he hopped up from the bed and ran from the room.
“Landon!” I shouted as he darted past Cassidy.
I hopped up from the bed as Cassidy hustled over to me.
“Are you alright?!” she asked staring at my throat.
“Fine, I need to make sure Landon’s ok.” I insisted.
“Tessa— he didn’t mean it. But I’ve been begging him to get some help.” Cassidy frowned.
“I know.” I said rushing past her and running down the hall.
I checked a few rooms, and found Landon in his office, planted on the floor trembling.
“Stay away from me.” He cried, looking up at me.
“No.” I sighed slowly walking to him. “Landon—”
“I choked you—I put my hands around your throat and choked you.” He whispered in disbelief.
“You didn’t know it was me.” I insisted sitting beside him.
“That doesn’t make it ok. I told you I was messed up.” He said.
“I know—I also knew better than to wake someone out of their sleep. You warned me that you do—things—in your sleep.” I sighed.
“Don’t try to make me feel better. This is not ok, I’m not ok.” Landon sighed as I grabbed his trembling hands.
“You need help getting over this stuff, Landon. If you don’t get any help, the thoughts of your past will eat you alive. Eventually you won’t be able to deal with it.” I said truthfully.
Landon looked over at me, and stared at my throat. Grimacing, he snatched his hands away from me.
“I get it—I’m just stressed. I don’t need to see a doctor over this. My past is over.” He protested. If it was over, why’d it just rear its ugly head at me??
“Landon—”
“I’m fine Tessa, just. I need a minute to pull myself together. Go on and go to bed.” He smiled fakely.
I knew he wasn’t ok, but what was I going to do? He needed to want me to help him, and right now he was only shutting me out. I nodded and kissed him, but he didn’t react. I left the room and closed the door behind me. I stood and listened as I heard him sobbing.
I hated this.
Landon really needed me, even if that meant putting my dreams on hold for a moment. I couldn’t leave him like this.
Twenty Two
A faint ringing jilted me out of my non sleep. I was still in the same position I had been in when I laid down, holding Tessa from behind. I stayed in the guest room for a few nights, but Tessa had insisted we try to fall asleep together again, but I refused. Little did I know Tessa wasn’t one to quit. I gave in and laid with her, but I refused to fall asleep. She was sleeping peacefully, and I didn’t want to wake her, even though it was her cell phone that was ringing. Slowly reaching over her, I grabbed her phone and saw Zach’s name on the screen with a picture.
Why was he calling her, and so late at that?? The questions burned in the back of my mind and sent anger and jealousy through me. Looking at Tessa, I instantly let those feelings go. She had never lied to me thus far and I trusted her. I needed to trust her with every fiber of my being. I had inadvertently hated Zach for years and for the wrong reasons. Against better judgment, I slipped from the bed and answered the phone.
“Hey Tessa, this is Zach. What happened to you today?” I heard his hard voice ask.
“This isn’t Tessa.” I said softly as I slipped from the room.
“I should’ve known it was because of you.” I heard him sigh.
“What are you talking about?” I asked confused as I headed for my kitchen.
“She didn’t tell you? Today was the day we were supposed to meet in my office and make our deal official, but she never showed.” Zach replied.
“So, she took your offer?” I frowned.
“Look, I don’t want to fight with you—”
“I don’t want to fight with you either.” I assured.
“That’s new.” Zach replied.
“Yeah, look, I’m sorry about—hell I was wrong about you, ok?”
“Apology taken,” Zach responded.
“That’s it?” I asked confused.
“I’m not a person to hold a grudge, Landon. You know that.” He said.
“Now about this deal—”
“You’re not going to let her take it? This is a big thing for her—”
“That’s why I’m not going to stand in her way.” I said, even though the words killed me as they left my mouth.
“Then why didn’t she make it today?” Zach asked.
“My mother just died.” I whispered.
“Oh man, I’m sorry. Tell her to take all the time she needs to be with you.” Zach insisted. “The offer’s still going to be on the table.”
“Just give her a week. After that, she’ll be there, I promise.” I said as we wrapped up the conversation, before hanging up.
“You must really love her to let her go.” I heard a voice reply, startling me from behind. I jumped as I spun around and saw Gwen.
“I do.” I sighed.
“You know, you could just make a bigger offer yourself, and we could just start a business here.” Gwen smiled trying to persuade me. That idea had crossed my mind a dozen times, but it just didn’t sit right in my gut.
“This is big for her, and I don’t want to be the reason she misses out on something she earned herself.” I insisted, and Gwen smiled brightly.
“You are like the perfect guy.” She said.
“I try.” I giggled as I leaned on the island in my kitchen. “Do me a favor, and don’t let her turn this down. Make sure she starts over right.”
“Starts over? As in without you?” Gwen asked with a frown and I nodded. “Landon, what happened the other night was an accident—”
“Tessa deserves way better than me, and I’m not going to hold her back from it.” I said cutting her off, and going back to bed.
The week slipped by so fast, and I hated it because I knew what was to follow. On the day of my mother’s funeral, Tessa had stood by me, and held my hand as they lowered my mother into the cold ground. The rain had been terrible that day, and I was reduced to tears, again. I was torn into pieces, and there was no fixing me. I knew that, and that was why I needed to let Tessa go. I was growing cold inside again, and I knew that eventually I’d end up hurting Tessa again if she stayed. That was the last thing I wanted to do.
Walking into the living room, I saw Gwen, Tessa, and Cassidy sitting on my couch laughing as they chatted. A movie was running, but they were barely watching it. It was nice to have my sister home for a little bit, and to see her happy was all I could ask for. I liked the way she and Tessa got along, too. Shoving the thought aside, I sucked in a breath. Too bad this wasn’t going to be my reality much longer.
“Tessa, can we talk in the kitchen?” I asked, breaking up their fun.
“Why don’t you sit and watch a movie with us?” Cassidy asked and I shook my head.
“Busy trying to find a replacement at the office.” I answered.
“Why don’t you just let Tyler keep his job? You know he needs it.” Cassidy said.
“Cass…” I warned.
“What’s up?” Tessa asked grabbing my hand, and pulling me onto the c
ouch beside her. She kissed me and I drank her in.
“I want to talk to you.” I said as I held what was in my hands tight.
“What are these?” she asked looking down at the plane tickets.
“Plane tickets.” I muttered.
“For LA?” she asked, reading them. “A trip for me and you?” she asked a bit confused.
“No—for you and Gwen, so you can go make your deal with Zach.” I explained and she paled.
“I’ve changed my mind. I want to stay here with you.” Tessa replied.
“Tess—” I said, trying not to grow emotional.
“Oh my God, this is big, Tessa! Zach called me last week saying the offer still stands, so we can go now!” Gwen said, and I was glad to have her take the heat off of me.
“Landon, are you breaking up with me?” Tessa asked, ignoring Gwen.
Damn it, this wasn’t going to be easy, even though I already knew that.
“We were never officially dating. I just want you to go and do what’s best for you. This is a big deal—”
“So you make love to me every night this week, knowing you want me to leave? What was I, a sympathy lay?” she barked.
“Cassidy, I think we should go.” Gwen whispered.
“No, stay!” Tessa shouted and they sat down. “Tell me, Landon.”
“This just isn’t—it isn’t working.” I answered.
“Why not? What are you talking about?” Tessa asked, and I sucked in a hard breath as tears burned my eyes. I had to do this for her.
“I don’t want to fight with you.” I whispered.
“No, you tell me!” she shouted, shoving me away from her.
“Tessa—” Gwen replied, trying to calm her down.
“Fine, you used me for sex, and now you want me to go? I’ll go. I hate you, Landon Brooks.” She sneered getting up and stalking out of the house.
I watched her go, as my heart slammed against my chest. I hated this. I hated myself for hurting her like this, but I knew she’d ruin her opportunity for me, and I couldn’t have it. Gwen walked over to me and grabbed the tickets before leaving.
“What the hell was that about, Landon?!” Cassidy shouted at me.
“You wouldn’t understand.” I responded as I ran a hand through my hair.
“You’re right because you’re not making any sense. You’re not acting like my brother.” Cassidy snapped. “You’re being a complete jerk. If this is about mom…”
“It’s not about mom.” I snapped.
“You’re scaring me, Landon. You’re sabotaging your own happiness.” Cassidy said staring at me as she stood over me.
“I’m fine with that.” I shrugged as the doorbell rang.
Cassidy sauntered out of the room and left me alone. I hoped it wasn’t Tessa because I really didn’t want to fight with her. If she thought I was a jerk, I could handle that, but I could handle yelling at her, just to push her away. I put my face in my hands as I heard footsteps enter the room.
“I don’t want to fight about this anymore.” I said, not looking up.
“Good because I came over here to say the same thing.” I heard Tyler’s voice say.
“Get out of my house.” I barked, looking up.
“No, I’m tired of this rift between us. I screwed up and I don’t expect you to forgive me easily.” Tyler replied looking at me.
“Tyler, I swear…”
“You want to punch me again, go ahead. If you want to punch me a thousand times, do it. If that’s what it takes to get you to talk to me, I’ll take it. You’re my brother, Landon.” He said.
“Brother’s don’t do what you did.”
“That’s not true; I know a lot of brothers who’ve slept with their brother’s girlfriends or wives.” He said looking up and pondering as if he had a list in his head. “I’ve seen a few of them on Maury.” He smiled.
“It’s not funny.” I grumbled.
“I know.” He said sitting down. “I just thought maybe you’d want to know everything.”
“Not really.” I sighed.
“Too bad, because I’m gonna tell you in short details.” Tyler replied and I stared at him. I wasn’t in fighting mood, but he sure was picking at me.
“I met Jocelyn before you started dating her. We hooked up a few times, but the moment she saw you, that was all she wrote. She wanted you, so I stepped aside. Besides, I had Amanda, and you know how that ended. You also knew I wasn’t so faithful then, but the girl was Jocelyn. We’d messed around off and on, and I swear I didn’t want to hurt you or Amanda. I just wasn’t thinking. I was selfish back then, Landon.” Tyler said.
“Why couldn’t you just tell me?” I asked with hurt in my voice.
“The only answer I can give you is that I was selfish and dumb. I didn’t think you’d fall in love with her. That’s why Jocelyn and I were always fighting. I begged her to break it off with you, but she wouldn’t. When you caught us—I thought you’d hate me. But when you came to me and said it was Zach, I just went with it because I didn’t want to lose you as a best friend.” He sighed.
“I hate you now, Tyler. You lied to me…you hurt me.” I said.
“I know, and I’m sorry. All these years I’ve been trying to make it up to you by being here for everything.” Tyler replied.
“You were.” I answered because he had been. “But I can’t just let this go.”
“I understand, but don’t shut me out. I’m your family, Cassidy’s your family, and Tessa—she can be your family.” Tyler replied.
“Tessa? Why’d you say that?” I asked cocking a brow at him.
“Come on, I’m not stupid. You love that girl. For the first time in a long time, I’ve seen you happy, and it was because of her. You need that right now.” Tyler replied.
“I’ll only ruin her.” I said shaking my head.
“Ruin her? You must not have been watching the same relationship that I’ve been watching.” He smiled. “You two are perfect for each other!”
“I let her go.” I responded.
“What, like to the store?” Tyler asked jokingly.
“No, I sent her to sign her deal with Zach, in LA where she can start over.” I answered.
“Don’t be stupid, Landon. You have nothing holding you back anymore, nothing else to hide behind. Go get your future wife.” Tyler pushed.
Twenty-Three
I signed my name on the dotted line and waited as the ink dried. This was it, I had inked my first real deal, and my company was on its way to the top. I couldn’t believe this was happening, and I couldn’t believe I wasn’t more excited. Instead of being happy, my heart ached because the person I wanted to share this news with wasn’t beside me. I couldn’t even call him because we weren’t speaking again. Landon hadn’t called me, and I hadn’t called him, and this time it was going to stay that way.
“That’s it, we’re business partners.” Zach smiled as we shook hands.
“I don’t know what to do next.” I said looking up to him. Zachary Ryan was a handsome man. From his crystal blue eyes, to his sweet smile, but he wasn’t anything like Landon.
“Celebrate.” He insisted.
“I’m really not in a celebrating mood.” I sighed.
“How about I take you out on the town and show you around.” Zach replied as he looked at his watch.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” I responded.
“Oh, come on. You’re going to be spending a lot of time here. The least I can do is show my new partner around.” He smiled, and smiled back politely. I didn’t want to be rude, especially since when we were going to be working together for the long haul.
“Ok.” I said, holding the smile.
Zach grabbed his coat and umbrella as I put on my trench coat. It happened to be raining the day I went to California. Yippee, my luck had officially sucked. I wished I was back at the hotel with Gwen, who had conveniently skipped out on me just to, “relax”. I didn’t blame her though. I had dragged
her halfway across the U.S. without proper rest. But in my defense, she had gotten to explore Colorado Springs while I “worked”.
Shaking the thoughts off, I frowned as Landon popped into my mind again. I was going to have to get over him, and fast. This lovesick thing was something I’d hated. It just wasn’t for me. I’d had enough when I’d lost Dean. My phone buzzed, but ignored it as Zach smiled at me.
“Ready?” he asked and I nodded.
“Good.” With that, he opened the door and I walked out first.
“Are you hungry?” he asked as we headed down the hall.
“A little.” I answered.
“Oh, pep up. What’s eating at you?” Zach asked curiously. “You just became a millionaire, you should be happy.” He chuckled.
“I know, I’m sorry.” I said sucking in a breath.
“Smile beautiful, it’s going to be a great night.” He winked as we got in the elevator.
We took it down to the ground floor, and headed out to his car. Zach drove the newest reversion of a Bentley. To my surprise, he too drove his own car, and didn’t have a driver. Like a gentleman, he opened the car door for me, and let me get in before closing the door. I watched him as he strolled around to get into the driver’s side. I strapped on my seatbelt as he started the car and fixed the radio. There was a CD in the disc player, and it was playing hip hop. I smiled as I thought of Gwen. She would’ve been in the back seat, bopping away with a huge grin on her face.
“What kinds of food do you like to eat?” he asked.
“Italian is fine.” I opted as I stared out of the window. The lights were beautiful as the sky darkened.
“”You’ll love it here.” Zach replied, looking over at me briefly.
“I’m used to big cities.” I responded.
“Oh yeah? Good, then you’ll definitely fit right in.” Zach smiled.
I sat silent for the rest of the ride as we drove through town. I wasn’t sure where this night was going to lead me. Maybe Zach wanted to be more than business partners. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to open me up to flirt or not, but it wouldn’t be the first time. Hell, I was supposed to be finding him love, and I hadn’t started on that yet.
Finding His Mrs. Right (Mending Hearts Series) Page 14