She nodded, for that was exactly the way she felt. She was uncertain of the future now that there was nothing to fight for and nothing to fight against.
“All that I can recommend is that you wipe it from your mind and move on. Otherwise, you will become paralyzed by your own passions. Do not dwell on the matter, Pax—just focus on preparing to move forward. We must always progress, and you cannot do battle if you are fatigued and hollow.”
She nodded yet again, realizing for the first time that her exhaustion was not merely physical. This worried her, for she was too weary to even respond in a creative way that did not involve a mechanical nod. She was inspired and impressed by Vincent’s insightful wisdom, as always, but she could not even seem to find the energy to articulate all this justly. She could only stand there dumbly and listen.
“I am telling you this before I tell my own children, because I depend on you more than my own children. You have great merit as a warrior.” These words were kind, but when Vincent spoke again, his voice was filled with a warning. “It was just the appetizer, Pax. Apparently, the entrée is yet to come.”
“Well, I’m already full,” she told him. “I’m ready to get the check and leave the restaurant.”
Chapter 4: An Emergency Stratagem
Suja moved across the library floor, followed by two men close on her heels. She stopped abruptly when she reached her brother, and the men behind her halted likewise.
“These ones too,” Suja commanded.
Suraj lifted his head from the book he was reading, frowning as he assessed their company. “Why?”
“Do not question me!” Suja responded, lifting her arms to gesture to the men on either side of her. “I have been window shopping across a decent portion of the galaxy for bodies to improve yours. Both of these men have been personally vetted by me for their impressive strength and mental faculties.”
“Are they Asura?” Suraj asked suspiciously as he eyed the warriors.
“Asura, deva, human,” Suja said with a wave of her hand. “It does not matter to me whether they are god or man. What matters is that they have great power.”
Suraj raised himself from his chair nervously. “Sister, I have been reading extensively on this coalescence technique about which you are so obsessed. It was initially created for use solely as an emergency stratagem. While I find it impressive that you have found a way to manipulate the magicks so that they will create a permanent effect instead of a temporary, thirty-minute merger of bodies, I must caution you that we cannot predict…”
“This is the only way,” Suja responded. “This is the way we beat the devas and establish dominion of Earth and beyond.”
“I have already joined bodies with ten strong men, Suja. How many more do I need in order to please you?” Anger began to flash in the younger man’s violet eyes. “You are using me as a guinea pig. You don’t care about my health or my life, as long as you get what you want.”
“That’s true,” Suja said softly. “I care about our family, and our heritage. I care about our legacy. I care about the fact that you spent most of your life running and hiding like a coward…”
“I didn’t,” he barked. “I spent my life being happy. I spent my life living with Mother and learning to love others, not waging endless wars like you and Father.”
“And yet you could not protect what you loved,” Suja observed with a callous smile. “So tell me, what good is peace and love without strength?”
He could not respond to this. He remained motionless and silent, bowing his head. His rage had been growing inside of him, rattling like a rattlesnake in his belly. So far, it had only been jarring and stinging his own entrails, but with each step further that Suja pushed him, he worried that he would soon lash out and hurt someone. He drew a ragged, careful breath. When he felt a hand on his shoulder, he jumped in surprise. His head jerked up so that his eyes locked with his sister’s.
“I realize that this gambit is experimental,” Suja spoke softly, “but please trust that I only want the best for you. We both have powerful enemies…”
“No, you have powerful enemies!” he shot back. “You are involving me in your mess! It has nothing to do with me.”
“You can’t escape your past, little brother. You were sent to kill Pax Burnson, granddaughter of the Fire Deva. Instead, you only killed her human mother. You failed.”
“That was over a decade ago,” Suraj argued. “I sent Asura soldiers to break apart the young girl’s family. She stopped practicing magick.”
Suja squeezed her brother’s shoulder firmly. “She did, for a time. But in the past few months, things have changed drastically. The girl poses a threat to all of us. We either need her to join our side, or to have her killed. Personally, I’m quite fond of her, and I’d rather have her in our ranks.”
“She fights again…”
“Yes, she fights again,” Suja confirmed sharply. “If you can’t beat them, join them—it’s an Earth proverb. The devas have used various skills to defeat our people, but coalescence is by far the most powerful. So do as I say and join your body with the men I bring to you. I do not have time for your incessant whining and insubordination!”
Suraj studied the two men who had stood silently through this entire argument. “What are their names?” he asked.
“This is Lerin,” Suja said, gesturing to her left, “a priest with great skill in astral projection. This is Sven, a warrior whose skin cannot be pierced with any kind of steel or fire.”
Suraj nodded slowly. He turned on his sister suddenly and grabbed her by the neck. “How do you know I won’t turn on you? You are making me powerful, but what if I choose to use that power against you?”
“You love me, brother.” Suja smiled, reaching out to place a hand on the man’s chest. “Even if I joined your body with a hundred evil men just to absorb their power, I know that you would still be a good man deep inside. In that way, you will always be weak.”
“I disagree,” he said quietly.
“Do you?”
He sneered, releasing her neck abruptly. “Join me with a hundred of the most powerful men you can find in the Universe. Then tell me if I am still weak.”
She nodded, lifting a hand to rub her neck in surprise at his show of aggression. “As you wish, Suraj.”
“That’s not my name anymore,” he corrected, turning away.
“My apologies, brother. What is your name?”
“It doesn’t matter. It will change again before we are finished. Get out of my sight.”
* * *
Sitting in her bedroom at Burnson Grove on a rainy September afternoon, Pax allowed her shoulder to press against the cool glass of her window. Her legs were pulled up close to her chest, and a book rested comfortably on her knees. Her hot breath fogged up the glass as she flipped the pages, allowing herself to get lost in the story. On a little table in her room sat a pile of dirty dishes that had previously contained her Grandma Amelia’s split-pea soup. As Vincent had recommended, it was refreshing to slow down and spend some time with her family. Even though Amelia spent most of her free time watching television, and Raymond kept his head buried in old texts, Pax felt a sort of comfort from being in the same house with her father and grandmother. Even Asher made an effort to be around the house a little more. They didn’t play board games or even have many conversations, but they did often share meals together. Pax was starting to feel a sense of family returning. Even so, she could see the distant look in her father’s eyes that indicated his desire to return to India. She supposed that she should appreciate his presence while it lasted.
Pax often wondered how Amara was doing, but she knew it was healthy to spend some time away from her best friend. Everything had started going wrong when they began meddling with dark magick. The joining of their bodies into a single being had not been without repercussions, and Pax felt a constant yearning for the invincible feeling of being Para. She felt like Para had unfinished business. Carefully flipping the
page of her book, Pax was unable to concentrate on the letters inked on the paper. Her mind was still scattered and unfocused. Her grandmother had often urged her to go back to the job at the hospital which she had abandoned, but her father was kinder, telling her to take all the time she needed. Her uncle seemed to hardly care, spending most of his efforts trying to convert Pax into a drinking buddy. She assumed this was because he was trying to plead Thornton’s case and get her back together with his friend, but he also seemed vastly unhappy.
As if he had heard her thoughts, Asher burst through the door to her bedroom. He immediately plopped himself down on her sofa and grabbed the remote for her television, flipping the machine on.
“What are you doing, Uncle Ash?” Pax said with a groan. “There are other TVs in the house.”
“I just want to watch some quality programming with my dear niece,” Asher said innocently as he flipped through channels. “Let’s see. Soap opera, legal drama, cop show, news… oh, look! It’s Thorn!”
Pax sighed, using her telekinesis to rip the remote out of Asher’s hands. “You’ve got to stop this! I don’t want to hear anything about him…”
Asher lifted a hand to stop the remote control from crossing the room. It hovered, suspended in the air between them for a moment. Making the motions of pulling an invisible tug-of-war rope, Asher began to use his mind to tug the remote back to his side of the room.
“Ash!” Pax said laughing as she squinted and mentally struggled for the remote.
“Just shut up and listen to the news,” her uncle urged with a grin.
Out of the corner of her eye, Pax glanced at the television. Thornton was giving a press conference of some sort, and his confident voice filled the room, giving her an involuntary feeling of warmth:
“I want to thank everyone who has made generous donations to help my company recover from the unexpected costs of destroying the comet. I can assure you that Kalgren Technological Enterprises is standing firmly on its feet again, even after these—dare I say it?—astronomical expenses.” Thornton waited for the laughter at his pun to die down before continuing. “I am proud to announce that we will be releasing at least six new products and innovations in the fourth quarter.”
“Mr. Kalgren,” said a female reporter standing near to the podium. “There has been so much secrecy over the exact methods your company used to neutralize the comet. Can you tell us a little bit about the science behind such a major undertaking?”
Thornton paused, smiling slightly and rearranging his notes on the podium. “I sure could, ma’am, but I fear the tech-talk would be so lengthy and boring that it would take all day and put us right to sleep.”
“Then a lighter topic, sir!” the reporter said quickly. “Are you still one of America’s most eligible bachelors?”
Thornton laughed lightly before tilting his head to the side. “I’m not exactly sure how to answer that question. Work has been very hectic and I haven’t had much time for a personal life.”
“So we’re all wondering: what does the man who saved the world look for in a woman?” the reporter asked coyly.
“Please turn it off, Ash,” Pax begged.
“No way! I want to hear his answer,” Asher said cheerfully.
Pax rose to her feet, flexing her fingers to wrangle the remote away from her uncle, but the pressure from both of their minds caused the controller to explode in midair.
“I’m still hung up on my longtime-girlfriend Pax Burnson,” Thornton admitted. “In fact, it was her creativity and intelligence that actually saved the world. All I did was implement her strategy with my resources, but we really owe it all to Dr. Pax Burnson.”
“Damn,” Pax whispered. “I didn’t want to hear that. Why did you make me listen to that?”
“Because it’s true,” Asher said stubbornly. “The poor guy is pining over you. He works really hard and he’s super stressed out—he really regrets what he did. He loves you. Why won’t you give him a chance?”
“Why won’t you give Mara a chance?” Pax retorted, putting her hands on her hips. “You wouldn’t even go to the fucking Charity Ball as her date?”
Asher growled. “That’s none of your business, Paxie.”
“Double-standards, you hypocrite!” Pax shouted, creating a small fireball in the palm of her hand and tossing it at her uncle’s face.
Asher ducked at the last second, and the fireball went flying into the doorway where Pax’s father was standing. The fireball stopped an inch from Raymond’s face before the older man reached out and snuffed the small missile. He glared at the two suspiciously.
“What are you guys, five years old? No fireballs in the house,” Raymond admonished. “I expect my little brother to be a good role-model for my daughter, not aggravating and provoking her into violence.”
“Sorry, Ray,” Asher mumbled as he straightened, “but she started it.”
“I was just sitting here and innocently reading!” Pax protested, but she stopped upon receiving glares from both men. She threw her hands up in the air. “Fine, I’m sorry. I’ll curb my temper. Sorry, Papa.”
Raymond smiled. “No worries. Paxie, I came to tell you that Thorn called. He said he’s going to visit in a few minutes, and he hopes you’ll come downstairs and say ‘hi’ to him this time.”
“I’m not feeling well,” Pax said abruptly, ushering her uncle and father out of her room. “I think I’m going to take a nap. Tell him I’m not available.” Shutting the door on their disapproving looks, she rushed to the window and grasped her dark, heavy curtains. The old Victorian manor was a creaky, drafty house with large windows. She could see Thornton’s limousine pulling up in the driveway between rows of manicured trees. “Damn,” she whispered, pulling her curtains closed. She grasped a shawl which she had tossed over the back of a chair and wrapped it around her shoulders for a sense of comfort. She stepped on pieces of the exploded plastic remote as she stumbled to her bed and searched under the pillows for her cell phone. She had been keeping the device off as a therapeutic measure; besides, almost everyone who would want to access her could speak to her telepathically. She found that it was easier to close her mental channels to unwanted communication than it was to ignore a text message. She considered turning her phone on, but thought better of it and stuffed it back under her pillows.
Leaning against the pillows tiredly, she closed her eyes and tried to sense Thornton as he entered her family home. She strained her hearing and tried to listen to the conversation he was having with her grandmother and then her father. She held her breath, hoping that she would not hear footsteps on the stairs. Of course, a few seconds later, there were footsteps on the stairs. Pax knew that they did not belong to Thornton, but she feared that it was even worse. When a soft knock sounded on her door, Pax winced as the door was opened just a crack for her grandmother’s kind face to be visible.
“Please see him, dear,” Amelia begged. “The poor boy is such a mess.”
“Fine,” Pax grumbled.
“Do you want a few minutes to make yourself presentable?” Amelia asked. “Some time to do your hair and makeup?”
“What? No. I’m fine.” Pax scowled, lifting a hand to her face and wondering if she had let herself go in her weeks of private peace and quiet. When Amelia left the room, she pressed a hand against her stomach instinctively, considering teleporting away from her bedroom. She felt trapped. Although she wanted to see Thornton, she was afraid of repeating past events. She was afraid of the consuming emotions which had driven her to kill once before. Pax was nervously chewing her bottom lip when she heard a second set of footsteps ascending the staircase. A hand unconsciously lifted to her hair to comb the sides smooth. When Thornton appeared in the doorway, Pax felt her apprehension subside. A knowing smile overcame her face at the familiar sight of him.
Thornton leaned against her doorframe, crossing his solid arms across his chest as he observed her with silent discontent for several seconds. “You’ve been avoiding me, hot stu
ff.”
“Nothing new about that,” she answered.
“I need you in my life,” Thornton said firmly.
Her eyes widened in surprise at the directness of this statement. “Ash forced me to watch your press conference,” she said softly. “You called me your girlfriend on national television.”
“Because that’s the way it is.”
Pax was startled by his sudden fierceness. “What’s gotten into you, Thorn?”
“I just had a really bad day. I’m sick of waiting for you to come back to me.”
“I’m sorry,” Pax answered, feeling an odd wave of tenderness in her stomach. “I just need time.”
Thornton’s eyes grew hard. “We may be descendants of gods, but we’re not going to live forever. I know I screwed up, but you can’t keep punishing me like this.”
Pax shook her head. “It’s not just you. I need time to get over everything that happened. Ishtar, Suja, the Pseudosphere. I didn’t have a chance to really recover from the vector zone when we immediately had to deal with the comet, and now your dad says there’s more to come…”
“It doesn’t matter. We should be facing the world together. My mother taught me never to wait around for something I want—she said that the only way anything happens is if you go after it with all the passion and devotion you can muster. And I want you to be mine again, Paxie.”
She leaned against her headboard, unable to keep her lips from assuming a smile. Her arm extended to the bed, and before she realized what the gesture signified, she was patting the spot beside her. Thornton moved into the room, carefully closing her bedroom door.
Raymond yelled from somewhere down the hallway. “Hey, kids, leave the door open!”
Pax and Thornton stared at each other in surprise and burst out laughing. They were still laughing when Raymond came to the door to apologize.
There was a blush on the older man’s face as he spoke. “Sorry Paxie, I forget that you’re not a little girl anymore.”
“When was I ever a little girl?” Pax asked fondly.
Thirty Minutes to Heartbreak Box Set (Books 1-3) Page 66