by S. M. Shade
Hot breath wafts against my ear as he whispers, “I can’t wait to get you naked tonight.”
I’m blasted by a scorching stare that steals my breath and makes my muscles clench delightfully.
Joseph returns, and I go to get some water. The drinking is catching up with me, and I suddenly feel dehydrated. Joseph plops on the couch beside Airen, and they’re laughing when I come back into the room. Hmm, I’ll bet they were discussing that threesome.
“There she is!” Joseph calls.
Yeah, he’s drunk. “I know you guys missed me.” Airen grabs me and pulls me down between them on the love seat. I’m sitting half on Airen’s lap and half on Joseph’s, and they’re giggling like teenagers. “Let me up, you drunken morons.”
“Did you hear what she called you?” Airen asks and tickles me under my ribs.
“Stop!” I squeal, trying to escape his torturous hands.
Airen glances at Joseph and grins wickedly. Joseph begins to tickle my ribs on the opposite side while Airen holds me down. They’ve teamed up on me.
“I give up! Joseph! Please!” I beg, laughing. Joseph stops and kisses my cheek as I catch my breath. Airen imitates him and kisses my other cheek. They stare at each other, smile, and attack again, laughing. Airen kisses my right cheek, temple, and forehead while Joseph rains down quick pecks on my other cheek. I’m laughing until Airen’s soft lips press against my neck. Oh, I’ve wanted him all day. Joseph stops teasing me when he feels me relax. Whew, I have to get a grip. I jump up before they can stop me. “Enough, you bastards,” I say between giggles. “I’m going to take a shower.”
Airen smirks at Joseph. “I should’ve known better than to kiss her neck. It’s her weak spot.” My glare is met with an evil little grin.
“Airen!” I throw a pillow at him.
“Sorry, I didn’t know it was a secret.”
“It’s not, just like the way you moan when I touch your nipples isn’t a secret,” I fire back. Joseph is red-faced from laughing so hard.
Airen regards me with a mixture of embarrassment and amusement. “Weren’t you going to shower?”
“So…nipples, huh?” I hear Joseph taunt as I’m leaving.
“Shut up, dimples.”
It feels good to rinse off the sweat and alcohol. I throw on a pair of shorts and a camisole, and go to find Airen. After that little display, he’d better not be too drunk. I have every intention of dragging him to bed and laying into his sexy ass tonight. What I see as I come around the corner nails my feet to the floor, and I freeze, not making a sound.
They’re still sitting on the love seat, and Airen’s feet are propped on the coffee table. Joseph leans over and tentatively kisses Airen’s lips. They hesitate before bringing their lips together again, softly, and Airen closes his eyes.
Joseph sits back and notices me standing there in shock. He pales and whispers, “Oh God, Abby. I’m...I’m so sorry...it wasn’t Airen...I kissed him...he didn’t,” he stumbles over his words, panicked. “I’m sorry, Airen. I’m drunk, and I’m so sorry.” He retreats down the hall to his room while Airen regards me anxiously, trying to gauge how hurt or angry I am.
Am I angry? I try to decipher my feelings through the astonishment. They were kissing! Joseph may have been the one who initiated it, but Airen let him do it a second time. He responded to it. So why am I not seething with jealousy, as I would have been if Airen had kissed another woman? Is it because it’s Joseph, or because he’s a man?
I don’t know, but I’m not angry, jealous, or even hurt. My initial reaction was it looked sweet, even kind of hot. I have to say something. Airen looks terrified. I sit down beside him.
“Abby,” he begins.
“It’s okay, Air, honestly. I’m not mad.” He studies me warily. “Has he ever kissed you before?”
“No,” he whispers.
“How do you feel about it?”
His look is impassive, giving nothing away. “Guilty. I didn’t stop him, Abby. You can’t just blame him.” His eyes are trained on his lap. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”
“Look at me,” I order. His eyes are two liquid black pools, glazed and shining. “I’m not upset. To be honest, if a woman had kissed you, and you didn’t immediately shove her away, I’d be heartbroken, but it’s Joseph, and I understand how it happened.”
“That makes one of us,” he remarks, sullenly.
“You two spend so much time together, and you’re both very attractive. I’m sure Joseph is lonely. Throw in some alcohol, and it’s not difficult to understand why he kissed you.”
“But I...” he trails off.
“You kissed him back. It’s all right.”
“No, it’s not!”
“Because he’s a man?”
“Because I’m in a relationship, and I don’t cheat. Because I’m not gay!” he cries vehemently.
I put my hand on his leg and look him in the eye. “Please, don’t feel like you cheated on me. I don’t see it that way at all, and it’s not about being gay or straight. You got caught up in a moment with someone you care about, who obviously adores you. Perhaps that’s why it doesn’t bother me, because I love Joseph too, and we’re all so close.”
Airen wraps his arms around me. “You’re too good to me.”
“I love you,” I say simply. “Still, I have to ask, what if it had been the other way around, and I’d gotten drunk and kissed Joseph? Would you have forgiven me? Or him?”
He ponders the question for a moment or two before he smiles. “I’d probably laugh and never let either of you live it down.”
“Sounds like a plan,” I threaten, grinning at him.
He shakes his head. “Kiss anyone else, though, and they’re dead meat.”
“Same goes for you. I have one more question before I go talk to Joseph.”
“Shoot.”
“What was it like to kiss him?”
“What? Abby!” He reddens and buries his face in his hands.
Oh, I so rarely manage to embarrass him, and this is just too good an opportunity to pass up. “Come on, Airen.” I giggle and tug his hands from his face. “He’s got those thick, full lips. Was it good?”
“I’m going to bed.” He attempts to get up, but I pull him back to sit beside me.
“Okay, don’t tell me, but it looked very sweet,” I whisper.
“Abby, please,” he moans, completely humiliated.
“A smart man once assured me it’s okay to enjoy it.” I snicker to myself as he escapes to our bedroom.
Joseph sits on his bed with his head in his hands when I sit beside him and run my hand down his back. “I’m really sorry. I don’t know why I did it. I mean, I drank too much, but that’s no excuse,” he mutters.
“I’m not upset with you or Airen.”
He glances at me in surprise. “I kissed him.”
“And he kissed you.”
“Don’t blame him. I caught him off guard.”
“I don’t blame either of you. I’ll tell you the same as I told Airen. You’re two extremely attractive people who spend a lot of time together, and I understand. I fought how I felt about him for a long time, and it’s difficult to constantly hide your feelings. I’m not upset, Joseph, because I know you, and I know you’d never try to take Airen from me.” I take his hands in mine. “I also know how it feels to love him and have to keep it to yourself.”
His eyes meet mine and tears run down his face. I’ve rarely seen Joseph cry, and it breaks my heart to see his pain. “I tried not to love him,” he confesses, shamefaced.
“Oh honey, I know. I know it too well.”
He leans his head on my shoulder when I wrap my arms around him. “He’ll hate me now,” he whispers.
“Of course he won’t.”
“Is he pissed? Does he think I tried to break you up, like Mandy? I never want to hurt either of you, Abby.” My heart goes out to him as he wipes his eyes and gazes at me. This sensitive, caring, adorable man is far lonelier than I’d
realized.
“He knows that. Just between us, I think he’s more confused than anything. Maybe you caught him off guard, like you said, but he kissed you. I saw it. He enjoyed it, and he feels guilty, not just because of me, but...”
“Because I’m a man.” A sad grin settles on his face.
“We both know Air has...um...tendencies, but he doesn’t know how to deal with it.”
“Tendencies?” Joseph cocks an eyebrow at me.
“For lack of a better word.” I giggle. “I’m a little out of my range of knowledge here, honey. I don’t know if he loves you the way you love him, but I know he loves you, Joseph. He told me so. I love you too. I need to know something, though.” He gazes at me expectantly. “Does it hurt you to see us together? Do you ever feel jealous or…um...anything?” I can’t bear the thought he may be suffering as I would be if I had to watch Airen with another woman.
Relaxing, he pulls me into a warm hug. “No, honey, it’s nothing like that. If he was with another man, maybe.”
I sit up. “It’s weird how that works! I said the same thing to Airen. If it had been a woman, I’d be devastated.”
“How are we going to face each other tomorrow?” he groans.
“By being the smart asses you always are. I’ve already promised not to let Airen live it down, since that’s what he said he’d do if you and I had gotten drunk and kissed each other.” I laugh and a mischievous grin appears on his face.
“So...I could get away with it once. Good to know,” he says.
“Just pretend nothing ever happened, and I guarantee Airen will do the same.”
“You won’t tell him how I feel about him?”
“Of course not, but I think he already knows. Now go to sleep and no more making out with my man.” I hear his chuckle as I leave the room.
Airen lies stretched out in bed, reading, and he glances up at me when I enter and begin to undress. “Everything okay?” he asks, keeping his eyes averted.
“He’s fine. I’m not so good, however.”
He looks up, alarmed. “What’s wrong?”
“Well, first this incredibly sexy man, all covered in sweat, was parading around wearing only a little pair of shorts. Then, he held me down while he and another handsome man kissed me over and over. Next, I walked in on a hot, forbidden moment between two friends. Now, look at you,” I murmur lustfully. “Stretched out in that bed like you have no idea how worked up I am or how much I want you.”
Before I can take a breath, he grabs me and pins me against the wall, kissing me hard. Oh, I know it’s going to be so good. My moan fills the room as I surrender to him.
* * * *
The kids have eaten breakfast and left to help Julie haul some water and still there is no sign of Airen or Joseph. It appears they’re both trying to set a record to see who can isolate himself the longest. I roll my eyes as I drag Airen out of bed.
“Get up. I know you’re awake. Aren’t you and Joseph supposed to go fishing today?” He glares at me. “You don’t scare me with that look. I know why you’re hiding, and if you don’t want me to bring Joseph in here and make you shake hands, then you better get your ass up.” I smack him hard on his butt and quickly dodge him when he tries to grab me.
Now it’s Joseph’s turn. I’m not letting them avoid one another all day over a little kiss. When I knock on Joseph’s door, he answers with a sheepish smile. “Good morning,” he mumbles.
“Come on. I’ll heat you up some breakfast.” I take his hand and pull him to the table where Airen glances up warily from his bowl of cereal. They both keep their eyes averted as I place two warm plates of ham and eggs in front of them. “So, what are you hoping to catch today?”
“That was the last of the catfish,” Joseph replies. “I wouldn’t mind catching a few more.”
“I know a good spot,” Airen assures him. They continue talking about bait and the best locations while I clean the kitchen. By the time they’re ready to leave, they’re joking and laughing with each other. Everything is back to normal. Hmm, what would they do without me? Considering the events of the night before, that may be a question I don’t want answered.
I’m working in the garden when they head toward the lake. “Be careful,” I call, and they wave at me. “Hey!” They both turn to face me, and I point at them. “Behave yourselves.” I just couldn’t help myself.
The next morning Airen and Julie take supplies to Mandy at the jail. Julie wants to give her a medical checkup because she’s been locked up in this heat. The kids and I hike to the little picnic spot where we found Uno. He’s big now, whatever breed he’s mixed with must have been bigger than a Labrador. He’s friendly, like a big puppy. Walker giggles as he gallops alongside us, chasing squirrels.
The kids play in the water while I lounge in the sun, daydreaming and reminiscing about the day Airen introduced me to this place. Remembering the sweet little kiss on the cheek still makes me smile. I’m pulled from my reverie when the kids return.
“Mom! Someone is yelling! Listen!” Carson exclaims.
“Shh!” I listen hard and faintly hear my name. Oh God, it’s Joseph. What’s wrong now?
“Come on, we have to go home.” I grab Walker’s hand and the other three follow. We stick close together on our trip back up the trail.
“Abby! Jayla! Carson!” I hear Julie call.
“What the fuck is going on?” I mutter under my breath, terrified. The bright forest suddenly seems dark and creepy.
“Sara! Abby!” It’s Airen this time. He steps out of the woods a few feet in front of us, his face softening with relief. “Abby! Thank God! We’ve been looking everywhere for y’all!”
“What’s going on? Is someone hurt?” I ask, grabbing his arm in a panic.
“No, everyone is fine.” He gets on the radio. “I’ve got them, Joseph. They’re all okay. We’re on our way.”
“Airen, what is going on? You scared the shit out of me!”
“It’s Mandy. She got out.” He’s calm, but his eyes reveal his fear and agitation.
“What? When? Where is she?”
“That’s exactly what I want to know. It’s been two days since Joseph checked on her, so it could have been any time since then. I want you all home and in the house.”
“Julie should stay with us. Mandy might go to that house since she considered it hers,” I warn, following his example and trying to stay calm. She could be anywhere, and she wants me, Jayla, and Sara dead.
“Good idea.” We all pile in the house, and I glance around me apprehensively.
Joseph hugs me with a reassuring smile, realizing my concern. “I searched the house, honey, and it’s safe.”
“How did she get out?”
“I have no idea. The cell door was unlocked. If someone came along and let her out, then she may not be alone,” he warns me.
“She might just leave,” I say hopefully. “That’s what I’d do.”
“No, she’ll come, Abby. When we were alone all she ever talked about was taking your place. She hates you,” Sara whispers.
“I’ll be ready for her,” Airen promises. He’s loading every gun in the house. “If she shows up here I’ll end that bitch.” He looks at me, gauging my reaction, daring me to argue.
“Just be careful. She could be armed as well.” I’m not trying to spare her any longer. I hate that Airen may have to kill her, but I just don’t see a reasonable alternative anymore.
The next few days are extremely tense. Airen is torn between the urge to, as he so eloquently puts it, “hunt the bitch down” and his fear of leaving us alone to do so. Sara is a bag of nerves. She has a small revolver Airen gave her tucked into her waistband, and she jumps at every noise.
“How long until we assume she isn’t coming? That maybe she left?” Jayla asks.
“I don’t know,” Airen replies.
“Well, how long do we have to stay locked up in here?”
“Until I say you can leave!” Airen snaps.
“Airen,” Joseph rebukes softly, “we’re all scared and on edge. She just wants to know everything will be all right.” He eyes him with disapproval and follows Jayla.
“Come with me, Walker, and I’ll read you a story,” Carson volunteers, regarding Airen with caution as they walk away.
Airen drops onto the couch and runs his hands through his hair. I sit beside him, slipping my arm around his waist, and he sighs, the weight of the world pressing down on his shoulders. “I don’t know what to do if she doesn’t show up,” he admits. “We can’t hide forever, and I can’t protect you all every second.” Fear shines in his eyes. He appears so young and vulnerable, a hopeless, lost look on his face.
“I know,” I whisper, leaning my head against his chest.
“I can’t lose you…any of you.”
“You won’t, Air. We’ll figure out something. I’m sorry I didn’t let you kill her in the beginning. I won’t argue with you again.”
“Oh, Abby,” he kisses my forehead and sighs, “of course you will.” We both chuckle and his mood lightens a little.
“You aren’t getting enough sleep.” I push a strand of hair out of his eyes. “You stayed up all night. Go to bed. I won’t let anyone out of the house,” I promise. “We’ll get through it, baby. We always do.”
He nods dejectedly and walks toward the bedroom. I hate to see him look so exhausted, so defeated.
* * * *
It’s been a week since they found the jail empty and there’s still no sign of Mandy anywhere. We’re starting to relax a little, daring to hope she left town. Airen reluctantly capitulates and allows the kids back outside. Joseph, Julie, Sara, and I all keep a gun on us at all times, and one of us is always with the kids.
The weather is so hot and humid, we’re all grateful for the air conditioning. We try to get our outdoor chores finished early in the morning or just before dark so we can spend the hottest part of the day indoors. I’m picking tomatoes and trying to decide whether to make a sauce or cut them up in a salad, when I glance up and notice her.
Mandy stands in front of me, and she’s a wreck. It looks like she hasn’t bathed in months. Her hair is matted together in clumps and stuck against her head. She’s skin and bones, covered in bug bites, and her clothes are filthy. She smiles, and there isn’t an ounce of sanity in it. Something in her has broken, and my first emotion is pity until I see the pistol in her hand. We regard each other as time grinds to a halt.