by Paul Bellow
Right Finger: Ring of Nourishment
Left Wrist: Bracers of Wisdom
Right Wrist: Bracers of Damage (+10 damage)
Around Neck: Amulet of Yendro (Fake)
Light Source: Lantern
On Body: Elven Chain (AC40 – Armored.)
Shield: Nothing
On Head: Rat Hat (+10 AC)
On Hands: Leather Gloves (+2 AC)
On Feet: Sandals
Ranged Weapon: Longbow
In Quiver: 14 (+0,+0,1d6) Arrows
Still not resistant to anything. Unlike most roguelikes I’d played over the years, the one embedded in the Tower of Gates was somewhat stingy with loot drops. Or had I been looking in the wrong places? I’d only made it down to level twenty of the dungeon.
Ralph brushed up against my leg. I glanced down at him, outfitted in custom leather armor we’d crafted a few levels back. After a lot of running and teleporting ever deeper, we’d managed to lose the Keystone Kops chasing us, at least for the moment.
“The boss is likely in that biodome jungle room,” I said. “We’ll have to track him.”
“You can finally use your ranger skills,” Ralph said, pumping his tiny fist into the air.
“We’ve got to take out the boss on this level quickly,” I said. “Are you ready?”
“It’ll be good to get back to nature,” Ralph said. “Even if it’s not real.”
“Agreed. You can go ahead and scout if you want. Let me open the door. Once you get inside the biodome, let me know if you see anything,” I said. “We don’t even know the size of this level. I wish I had a Scroll of Mapping.”
“I told you to save one,” Ralph said.
“You did,” I admitted as I opened the door. “Go on, now. And be stealthy.”
The raccoon ran into the underbrush as I stood in the open doorway, wondering if I’d ever make it to the bottom of the dungeon. Could I defeat the Wizard of Yendro at the end? Was Regina doing okay on her own?
“I see a trail,” Ralph said, breaking me out of my thoughts.
After so much time, I’d finally become accustomed to hearing him in my mind.
“Great. Follow it, but don’t let anyone see you.”
“I’m super small. Don’t worry about it.”
As Ralph scouted the biodome, I took out my two remaining Dark Elven Cookies. My alignment dropped every time I ate one, but the random magical effects had me addicted to them. Well, that and the taste. Made with genuine elf meat, they tasted great too. I popped a cookie into my mouth and chewed, waiting for the game notification message to appear.
You feel STRONGER.
+10 STR Permanently
With a STR of 105, I’ll get a +20 damage modifier.
The boss on this level hasn’t got a chance.
I ate the final elven cookie.
You feel WEAK.
-10 STR Permanently.
Ugh. I laughed at the randomness.
“Alex, someone’s coming. It’s so strange…”
“What is it?”
I drew my sword.
“A ranger, and he looks just like you.”
Was it a doppelganger? Someone pretending to be me?
“How close are they?”
“Alex, he saw me. Help!”
The sound of fear in my companion’s voice spurred me into action. I ran into the thick foliage, pushing past a thick section of foliage and finding a path leading in two directions, each way slightly curving. A way around the entire biodome? Where’s Ralph and the other ranger?
“Alex, he’s killing me.”
The desperation in Ralph’s voice hit me. I ran down the path to the left, hoping I was heading in the right direction. A few hundred feet later, I saw a copy of myself stabbing the raccoon. What the hell? I pushed my confusion aside and kept running. The other ranger straightened and turned to face me.
“Ralph? Can you hear me? Are you okay?”
No answer. That ranger would pay dearly if he killed Ralphy.
“Alex, stop,” my virtual clone said. “You don’t understand what’s happening.”
I stopped a hundred feet down the path from him, sword still in my hand. He had the exact same sword. Everything looked identical.
“You can’t defeat me,” he said. “Because I’m you.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. Who are you?”
“I told you,” he said. “I’m you…from the future.”
“Get out of here,” I said, not believing him.
Unless he was telling the truth?
“Prove it,” I said. “You killed my friend, so there’s no way you’re me.”
“That raccoon had it out for you.” My clone stepped forward. “Trust me.”
Ralph is dead? Anger boiled up inside me.
“If you’re me from the future, you’ll know who I was dating in the real world before getting stuck in the Tower of Gates.”
He had no way to know I was single before getting transported into the Tower of Gates unless he was really me from the future.
“I don’t remember,” he said. “None of that’s important now.”
“The outside world will always be more important than this game,” I said.
My clone cocked his head to the side, seemingly confused by my words.
“That’s right,” I said. “You don’t even know it’s a game. More proof you’re not me.”
“Die,” the imposter yelled then ran forward.
He had the same Ring of Speed and other equipment, leaving me no advantages over him. The fight would come down to luck over skill. While I hated it, I couldn’t change it. I swung first. He parried right away, knowing every move before I made it. We quickly came to a stalemate.
Your slash DECIMATES the ranger for 39 damage.
The ranger’s slash DEVASTATES you for 46 damage.
You have [202/288] health remaining.
I reached into my Bag of Holding for a healing potion, but my hand touched a wand. Fate? I pulled out my Wand of Polymorph. While dangerous, I didn’t have many options left. He matched everything I did. If I morphed him into something else, I might be able to defeat him.
I zapped the wand.
The ranger is transformed…
…into a Hulking Ape!
I stumbled backward as the second big boss transformed into a ten-foot tall creature as wide as a school bus. He grinned, baring his sharp teeth, as he attacked.
The hulking ape MAIMS you for 59 damage.
You have [103/258] health remaining.
You feel the urge to flee.
No kidding, stupid game.
Sword or wand? I decided quickly.
The Hulking Ape is transformed…
…into a Dire Hulking Ape!
Come on! The game’s cheating…
I ate the damage another round.
The Dire Hulking Ape MUTILATES you for 63 damage.
You have [40/258] health remaining.
You should consider healing soon.
Frustrated and resigned to starting a new character, I zapped the Wand of Polymorph one more time. The odds were with me.
The Dire Hulking Ape is transformed…
…into a Rat Man!
Once again, all the equipment carried by the mirror version of me changed in size to accommodate the new dimensions.
The rat man ranger stood about half my height but looked twice as menacing with a mouth full of sharp teeth.
Low on health and overly suicidal, I rushed forward and swung my blade.
Your slash DEVASTATES the rat man for 48 damage.
The rat man is dead! (+100 xp)
Combat is Over!
You have [50,100/55,000] xp.
The low experience points from the lower level creature hurt, but I’d survived another boss battle…barely. I looked over at Ralph. His raccoon body laid lifeless at the side of the path, a hole in his side. Would a Potion of Healing work, or did I need a Resurrection spell?
I pulled out the last five of my
healing potions, wanting to heal up before anything creeped up on me. They tasted like apple juice and went down easy and smooth. I regained all my health points, but I still felt tired. The game was getting to me on a personal level.
With the boss of the level dead, I doubted any other creatures would cause me a problem. Unless three or more of them ganged up on me. I glanced down at the rat man’s body. The Wand of Polymorph had come in handy a few times, but I needed more offensive wands.
The roguelike seductively drew me in deeper as I lusted after more experience, more gold, and more loot. Most importantly, I wanted to get to the final level and defeat the Wizard of Yendro. With his amulet, I would have an easier time in the Tower of Gates.
I stooped down and grabbed the rest of the rat man’s loot. Since everything was a duplicate of what I had already, I didn’t need to waste any Scrolls of Identify. As I gathered the rest of my doppelganger’s items, I heard a popping noise and saw a flashing light.
More mobs? So early after defeating the boss of this level?
I turned toward the noise. Seeing nothing, I walked forward. A hundred feet down the path, I saw a side trail leading to a stone chapel in the center of the biodome. Weapon in hand, I crept down the dirt path toward the building. My heart pumped faster as I approached. At the end of the trail, I climbed three shallow stone steps.
An open doorway gave me a partial view inside a chapel, but I didn’t see anything that would’ve made such a loud noise. I stepped inside, looking around. A tall, figure stood against the far wall. Light escaped from inside a blackened helmet.
Maybe my doppelganger wasn’t the final boss?
“You’re doing well, Alex,” a female voice said.
“Who are you?” I asked, sword raised. “What’s going on?”
“It’s me, Regina.” She laughed. “You probably don’t recognize me.”
“Something’s not right,” I said. ““I’ve found a few books with drawings of the Wizard of Yendro, and you don’t look like him at all.”
“Why does the Wizard of Yendro have to be male?” she asked.
“He doesn’t have to be…but I thought…I mean…”
“Spit it out, Alex.”
“Are you here to help me, or what?” I asked. “Can you get us out of here?”
“Maybe,” she said. “I have an offer for you.”
I lowered my sword slightly but kept it in my hand.
“Go ahead,” I said. “I’m listening.”
“The roguelike can’t be beat,” she said.
I stared into the glowing light behind the helmet. Was it really her?
“Nonsense,” I said. “Give me enough time, and I’ll beat it like every other game I’ve ever played. You know me.”
“Don’t be so naïve,” she said. “This roguelike and the rest of the Tower of Gates is so much more than you think. My eyes have been opened to the truth. For example, I know what you’re thinking right now.”
“What am I thinking?” I asked in a snarky tone. “Tell me.”
“You think you can win, but you can’t,” she said.
“Should I just give up, then? Is that what you’re telling me?”
“No, Alex. I’m saying there’s another way. That’s how I became the Wizard of Yendro. If you join me, I’ll show you how to become a high-level NPC in the roguelike. We can live in here forever as gods.”
“Why would I want that?” I shook my head. “You’re not making any sense.”
She sighed.
“You’re the one not making sense,” she said. “It’s not a bad life as the most powerful NPC in the roguelike. You might be surprised.”
“I can’t believe you’re talking this way,” I said. “We can beat this game. Let’s work together and fight the system.”
“We can’t, Alex. It doesn’t work that way.”
“You keep saying that, but how do you know?”
I stepped forward.
“Stop,” she said. “Don’t come any closer unless you’re ready to bow.”
It was my turn to laugh.
“There’s no way I’m bowing to you.”
“You should,” she said. “There’s no other way for you to survive.”
“I’ll beat this game with or without your help.”
She shook her head, the helmet glistening in the light.
“You don’t understand,” she said. “To win the game, you need to defeat me.”
“On the lowest level.” I raised my sword. “You can’t attack me before then…right?”
She lowered her arm, hand still grasping the visually stunning Amulet of Yendro. With the end-game item in sight, I needed to act fast. My heart raced as I prepared to attack her. A good, old-fashioned surprise might enable me to defeat her and win the game. She wasn’t talking like the Regina I knew.
I ran forward, sword raised.
She lifted her arm in front of her, still clutching the amulet.
The Bolt of Wizardry ANNIHILATES you for 498 damage.
You are dead.
Once again, everything went black, including my hope of beating the game.
()xxxx[:::: Chapter 7 ::::>
Way of the Samurai
I spawned as an orc samurai. After a super good run, I ended up on level 18 of the dungeon as a level 21 character. While not perfect, it was my best game by far. The encounter with Regina as the Wizard of Yendro still weighed on my mind. She would have to die if I wanted out of the game. There was no way around it.
Tabby, my hairless Siamese cat companion, sat next to my feet. Her purrs reached my ears, putting me at ease. We had two more levels until another big boss. I wondered briefly if it would be another biodome as I walked down the stairs. Tabby followed at her own pace behind me. I readied myself for anything.
You are on level 18
You are a Level 21 Orc Samurai.
You are cursed with random drunkenness.
Oh, yeah. There was that. I’d quaffed an expired fruit juice potion on level 12 or 13. Ever after, I’d been randomly becoming drunk randomly. Almost a blessing more than a curse, but I hoped to find a potion or scroll to remove the effect before the randomness killed me. I didn’t want to die and start over again.
Before going anywhere on the new level, I stopped and went over my character sheet, carefully studying every detail. Taking the game slow and steady had helped me succeed with my samurai build, and I didn’t want to mess with what was working for me. Starting over again was never fun.
Name: Okinaw Orange
Class: Samurai
Race: Orc
Level: 21
XP: 69,500
XP TO LVL: 5500
Health: 442 hp
Magic: NA
Alignment: 75 (Morally Sound)
Armor Class: 54 (Moderately Well Armored)
Attacks per Round: 2
STR: 90 | INT: 70 | WIS: 77
DEX: 82 | CON: 95 | CHA: 77
SKILLS:
One-Handed Blades -> Basic Level 7 of 10
Dodge -> Basic Level 5 of 10
Use Magic Items -> Basic Level 4 of 10
Ranged Weapons – Crossbow -> Basic level 6 of 10
Languages: Common, Orc
INVENTORY:
a) Canteen – [32/48 ounces]
b) Wand of Fire Bolt [21/145 charges]
c) Bullseye Lantern (2130 minutes)
d) Backpack of Storing
1) 2232 gold coins
2) Trail Rations x13
3) Loaf of Bread x8
4) Silver Spoon x12
5) Potion of Cure Major Wounds x40
6) Potion of Cure Poison x12
7) Potion of Blindness
8) Potion of Cure Blindness x2
9) Arrows of Reptile Slaying x50 (+10%,+2,1d8)
10) Wand of Curious Words [1/14 charges]
11) Wand of Digging [7/14 charges]
12) Blessed Hat of Poison Resistance (+10 AC)
13) Rod of Cancellation [1/14 charges]
>
14) Flask of Greek Fire x3
EQUIPPED
Wielding: Blessed Katana (+40% to hit, +15 damage, 2d10 damage)
Left Finger: Ring of Feather Falling
Right Finger: Ring of Acrobatics
Left Wrist: Bracers of Damage (+10 damage)
Right Wrist: Bracers of Damage (+10 damage)
Around Neck: Pearl Necklace of Wisdom (+5 WIS)
Light Source: Bullseye Lantern
On Body: Advanced Leather (AC30 – Sort of Armored.)
Shield: Nothing
On Head: Green Beret (+15 AC)
On Hands: Leather Gloves (+5 AC)
On Feet: Sandals
Ranged Weapon: Crossbow
In Quiver: 24 (+5%,+5,1d8) Bolts
“All these levels look the same,” Tabby said.
“They’re getting tougher,” I replied, looking around. “We should keep moving.”
I crossed the room, listening at one of the two doors. Nothing. I moved to the other door across the room and listened. Again, nothing. I turned the handle. A hallway on the other side stretched out a few hundred feet before ending at a T-intersection. Katana in one hand and lantern in the other, I crept forward.
Tabby yawned somewhere behind me.
“Quiet,” I hissed.
“You’re being louder than me,” she replied.
She had a point. I walked forward, eyes and ears open for anything that might be dangerous. At the end of the hall, I stopped and read a sign on the wall in front of me. One arrow pointed to the left with an unknown word under it. Another arrow pointed down the other hallway leading off into the distance, once again with a word I couldn’t read.
I sighed, wondering which way I should go. One wrong move could change the whole course of the game. I didn’t want to end back at the beginning again. YASD be damned!