With a tiny smile, she scooted her head over so that it rested on my shoulder. My entire awareness became…strawberries. “There are many ways to awaken, but the only way to enter that experience is to first be asleep,” she murmured.
I frowned. “Who said that?”
A long pause. “I just did.”
And I pondered that, feeling my body relax even further. I shrugged her head from my shoulder onto my chest, remembering how she’d rested it there last night. She turned onto her side and fitted herself close to me so that she was resting in the crook of my arm.
I stared at the bumpy white ceiling of my bedroom, but simply feeling her here had lowered my heart rate, my breathing. The area immediately surrounding us felt different—safe. Like we inhabited our own little world. Only the two of us.
Turning my head, I buried my nose in her soft hair. Her smell made me warm all over—and not just because I wanted her. It was comfort and strength. Someone else’s strength upon which I could rely for once.
We lay like that, awake and in silence, underneath every bright light in the immediate vicinity. And eventually, without any struggle, my eyes fell closed, and I slept a dreamless sleep.
Chapter 18
Gray
That next week, I spent every night at Ryan’s house and every day at work. He was there too, either training in the simulator or in the astronaut office with the other guys, working on plans and paperwork. Or on conference calls with the manufacturers of the different systems that were employed by XVenture’s new Phoenix capsule, which would take them to space.
While we were at work, the two of us acted distant, professional. No observer would ever be able to tell that we knew each other’s preferred sleeping positions. Ryan liked to sleep on his back most of the time. Me, I was a side sleeper, occasionally flipping onto my tummy. We nodded to each other in the hallways, never ate lunch at the same table, and refrained from even speaking about our shared activities to others. It was our little secret.
Which was good because the public was getting into the blossoming romance between him and “America’s sweetheart,” Keely Dawson. For fake lovers, they were making quite a splash.
At work, Pari and I were walking to the cafeteria for lunch when Victoria turned the corner and approached us from the other end of the long hall.
Without warning, Pari veered, pushing me into the nearest open doorway, presumably to avoid Victoria.
“What the—”
“Shh!” She shut the door behind her.
We were in a small meeting room with physics equations scrawled messily all over the whiteboard, notepads, notebooks, and pens scattered the table, and garbage everywhere. The place smelled like a dozen college students had pulled all-nighters in there every day that week. I waved my hand in front of my nose.
“Holy crap, it reeks in here.”
Pari rolled her eyes. “Wilty daisy, there you go again.”
“Is this how rocket scientists live? Because…no thanks.” I couldn’t help myself. I started picking up fast-food wrappers and throwing them into the almost-full garbage can to keep myself from gagging.
“This team’s been on a deadline, so cut them some slack.”
“I hope they bathed when they went home. Ugh. Did you drag me in here to avoid Victoria? What the heck is going on with you two?”
She froze and blinked, then cleared her throat. “I, uh, had to talk to you. It’s something that probably wouldn’t go over well in the lunch room anyway. Gossipy gossip type of stuff.”
I raised a brow. I wasn’t fooled, but I figured she’d come out with whatever was up with her and Victoria eventually—no need to pry.
She leaned her back against the door and folded her arms. “What do you know about the four astronauts’ relationships?”
I frowned at her. “Far as I know, they’re all single and enjoying it.” That gave me a pang, to think it about Ryan and the player lifestyle he’d be sure to get back to as soon as he didn’t need to play nice with Keely anymore. I gritted my teeth, forcing myself not to think about it.
She blew out a breath and pushed her dark hair behind her ear. “That’s not what I meant. I was asking about their relationships to each other.”
I hesitated. “Well, they seem to be good friends. They all have worked together in the past—in some cases, for years. Either at NASA or in Russia.” I bit my lip and stared. “Why?”
Her dark brows rose. “Hoo boy, I was here early this morning because I needed to get some shit done before our morning scrum. And I happened to duck into the break room to grab a soda…”
I nodded. “And?”
“I heard yelling outside the astronauts’ office and the door was kind of ajar, so I perked an ear up to listen and maybe got a few peeks inside.”
“How unsurprisingly nosy of you.”
Her eyes widened. “Do you want to hear this, or do you want to make snarky comments?”
I held out a placating hand. “Okay, fine. What was the shouting about?”
“Noah and Ty were shouting at each other.”
I blinked. “Really?”
She nodded. “They were never near enough to start posturing like men do—you know when it’s going to come to blows. It wasn’t like that. But they were not happy with each other. If he’s in a shitty mood tonight, you’ll know why.”
I adjusted my glasses, absorbing this. “What were they arguing about?”
She shook her head. “Something to do with the prep for the launch? I couldn’t tell, it was so out of context. But Ty was telling Noah to stop assuming he was a fuck-up. And Noah said Ty had never given him any reason to assume otherwise.”
I pulled back. “Whoa. That’s harsh.”
Pari nodded her agreement. “Those two don’t like each other very much, I’ve noticed.”
I thought about that for a moment. Usually, I picked up on these things quickly, but it occurred to me that I’d only rarely seen them together though they worked alongside each other every day.
“So, of course, I decided to come get the dirt from you. Why don’t Ty and Noah like each other?”
I frowned. “No idea. Those two have worked together extensively. In fact…” Something tickled my brain, and I paused, blinking.
“What? C’mon, I don’t have all day here. I’m starving.”
“I read the entire transcript of the accident. Noah was the CAPCOM on the ground during the spacewalk.”
Her forehead wrinkled. “That’s awkward and he’s come over to work here, too?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know Noah’s motivation. He wasn’t fired from NASA like Ty was. But he’s here for some reason. Probably felt his prospects to fly were better.”
“Huh, okay.” Her eyes drifted to the window in the door to check the hallway, which reminded me.
“Now are you going to tell me why you are avoiding Victoria?”
Pari’s eyes flicked back to me. “Yeah, I promise. Just not now.” With that, she yanked the door open and was gone, leaving me inside the gross room alone. As I was getting tired of breathing through my mouth to avoid the smell, I pushed out after her and headed to the lunch room behind her.
That night, there was nothing obviously wrong or different with Ty’s mood to indicate that the blowup between him and Noah had been anything unusual. And I avoided probing, as much as I wanted to.
But I was reminded of my promise to Karen Freed, and since it had been a week since coming back from Houston, I sent her off a quick text.
Hey there, it’s Gray. Just wanted to drop you a line and let you know everything’s going okay here with Ty. I hope all is well with you too.
Only a little while later, I received a brief reply. Thanks. Hopefully he’ll feel like telling me that himself sometime soon.
I hesitated, then keyed in a quick reply. No promises, but will see what I can do!
And she answered that one too. Bless you. Thank you.
Friday of that week proved to be a very bus
y day. I left work early to have that promised lunch with my dad at a nearby organic restaurant.
He would have liked to go for a walk first, but the weather for the past few days had been stinking hot, so we sought refuge inside in the air conditioning instead, staring out the window at the pond full of ducks in the adjacent park.
“I don’t care much for the frou-frou food here, but the view is nice,” he said. “I’d never pick this place out, though. Too pricey.” He scanned the menu with a curled lip, and I fought a chuckle.
“Thanks for indulging me.”
“You managing to wrangle that playboy astronaut? I’ve been reading the news. He’s coming up every so often with that cute little actress.”
I nodded. “He’s behaving himself, Dad, never fear. He’s…he’s a good person. Try not to judge him based on some past mistakes.”
He darted a look at me and then back to the menu. “Hmm. This whole XPAC is risky business. I warned Tolan before he went there. He was doing great with the rocket business. The launches to resupply the Space Station, all the government and satellite work. And he’s done great—followed my advice about staying private, but…” He shook his head. “This astronaut thing. I just don’t know.”
I tightened a fist under the table, my fingernails digging into my palm, but I didn’t let him see my agitation. He couldn’t yank the rug out on this now, could he? I was doing everything we’d agreed on.
“Dad, it’s going great. It’s Tolan’s dream. It’s my dream. There’s so much of a future for the human race in space exploration. Do you want to leave it up to NASA’s ‘maybe we’ll get there in the 2030s,’ or do you want to be a part of the future now?”
Dad never had a chance to respond, because a person who’d been headed to a nearby table veered sharply toward us instead. “Conrad? I thought I heard your voice. And your beautiful daughter! How are you, Gray?”
We both looked up at Aaron Thiessen, head of Thiessen International, an investment firm. Like Tolan, Aaron had once been mentored by the legendary Conrad Barrett. Dad stood and enthusiastically pumped the hand of his former acolyte. Then Aaron smiled at me, bending to kiss my cheek.
“Please, sit down with us,” I indicated the empty seat beside me.
He grinned, unbuttoned his suit jacket, and obliged.
“I’m meeting with someone shortly, but they won’t be here for a bit, just texted me that they’re stuck in traffic.”
“It’s great to see you again. How’s your sister doing?” I only knew her superficially—mostly because we’d both attended the same small, elite all-girls’ college, Scripps. Sheridan was older than me, and we moved in very different circles. I didn’t actively associate with the plethora of socialites or future politicians. And there weren’t many other unapologetic introverted nerds in the bunch.
“Finished up at Stanford, going in for her doctorate. Congrats on finishing yours, by the way. Dad must be proud.” He flashed a smile at my dad, who nodded in approval. “I couldn’t help but overhear what you were saying to Conrad about being a part of the future now?”
I smiled. “Yes, I was congratulating my dad about his smart investment in XVenture’s new Private Astronaut Corps. They are going to change the future of space travel—of our planet, actually, when it comes right down to it.”
Might as well spread the news to every billionaire I knew, right? A few extra dollars for the program couldn’t hurt.
Aaron was a little over thirty, and thanks to Dad’s tutelage, now a billionaire himself. He had been known to famously diverge from Dad’s advice from time to time. But I wasn’t above laying on some peer pressure for my dad either. I could all but feel him going skittish about the XPAC investment, so why not sell Aaron on it hard-core? That way, Dad would look like a fool for backing out.
I had no problem playing it devious when I had to.
Because no way was I going to work for a human resources firm when I could be working with astronauts and having my hands in the future of space travel. “NASA is projecting possibly going to Mars in the 2030s. But NASA hasn’t transported their own astronauts into space since they retired the shuttle in 2011. They’ve been going up on Russian rockets instead.”
I barely paused to catch my breath before soldiering on. “XVenture will beat NASA to Mars. They’ll do it in the next decade. And they have plans and some of the best talent from around the world to do it. They built a rocket company from nothing. Now they are the leading provider—even to NASA—of transportation into low earth orbit and beyond.”
For his part, Aaron couldn’t have been acting more positively if I’d paid him. Thank goodness. He was rapt. Asking questions as fast as I could answer him. Ten minutes later, he had to be tapped on the shoulder and told that his party had arrived.
He stood up and said, “Gray, I want to talk to you more about that sometime soon, okay?”
Well done, Aaron! “Tell me when you want to come by our facility, and I’ll get you a tour.” I beamed.
He turned to Dad. “Conrad, great to see you again. Let’s meet up soon.”
Aaron was gone, and Dad was sending me a piercing stare. I raised my brows at him. “What?”
He smiled then. “Nothing. I shouldn’t be surprised when I see you’ve picked up some of my more annoying traits, I suppose.”
I grinned. “You mean like stubborn bullheadedness?”
His eyes narrowed. “I was going to call it steely determination, but that works too.”
We laughed.
Later, as we walked out to the parking lot and were safely out of earshot, Dad said, “You know what might be a fun idea? What if you went out on a date with Aaron? He’s a good guy, and I think he likes you. Besides, I never see you dating anyone.”
I raised a brow and gave him serious side-eye. “Really, Dad? Love life advice from you? I thought you only doled out advice on stock portfolios and retirement strategies.”
He shrugged sheepishly. “You’re my daughter. I worry.”
I threw my arm around his back and rested my head on his shoulder. “I’m fine. I’m happy.”
His lips thinned. “That’s all I want…for you to be happy.”
“I am. It is possible to be happy without a man,” I said mildly, though I tried not to question why I kept picturing Ryan and how good it had felt this past week to sleep in his arms. How safe and secure.
Minutes later, I hugged and kissed Dad in the parking lot as we went our separate ways.
The day was only getting hotter. I left the restaurant in LA and headed the thirty-five miles to North Tustin and Ryan’s house. Driving along in afternoon traffic, I cursed the fact that I still hadn’t taken the time to get the air conditioner in my car repaired. It was a long, sweaty slog. Seriously, only in parallel universes where time moved slower would it make sense for it to take an hour and a half to go three dozen miles.
But this was LA. A parallel universe unto itself, and this was a heat wave. Lowering the window in a car with nonexistent climate control did nothing, but I futilely hoped for relief from a stray breeze.
I finally reached Ryan’s house at the height of the hottest part of the afternoon. Despite having pulled my hair back into a ponytail, it had blown into a frizzled wreck. My face was beet red from the heat and my shirt soaked with sweat. So much for the crappy little fan I’d been using. Today, it had only succeeded in making me more dehydrated by desiccating me in the nearly absent humidity.
When I let myself into Ryan’s house, the look on his face said it all—I was a sweaty mess. His mouth dropped open and then… “Are you all right? What happened?”
I threw up my hands, adjusting my bag on my shoulder. “This weather happened. My AC is still broken.”
Without a word, he took my bag from my shoulder and took it to my guest room. “You need water. And you need that air conditioning fixed. Keely’s coming over in a little bit. We have to take some pictures or something. And she wants to go for a swim.”
“Yeah, she t
exted me, so I grabbed my swimsuit and some other clothes. They’re still in the car.”
He quickly got me a glass of frosty ice water straight from the fridge. I drank it down as fast as I could then held out the glass for more. He refilled it and handed it back to me.
“I need your car keys,” he said, holding out his hand.
“The shop won’t take it now. I need to call and make an appointment, then get someone to follow me there or arrange a rental drop-off for the day. It’s a huge pain, and I keep putting it off.”
He rolled his eyes at me. “I didn’t mean to take it to the shop. I’ll fix it. It’s a standard compressor. I can do it with my eyes closed.”
I blinked. “Uh, what?”
“What do you think we have to do up there?” He pointed to the sky. “Fixing the damn air circulation and life support systems were top priority on station. Over half the stuff we do there is dedicated to vehicle maintenance. How else would the combined space agencies keep it up there and flying for over twenty years if we weren’t constantly fixing it?”
“So my car has the same air circulation system as the ISS?” I asked, still in disbelief.
“Not exactly the same, but close enough. Now, keys?”
I handed them over to him, and he turned and walked out the front door. By the time he’d pulled it up in front of his garage, opened the hood, and went inside to fish out other tools, Kirill and Keely drove up in her Mini convertible—top up, of course. Only a masochist would have the top down on a day like this.
“Hey,” Keely called as she got out, looking like a million bucks in her miniskirt and high heels. “What’s going on here?” she asked, gesturing to the raised hood on my car.
“Auto repair,” I said. “My AC is out, and he’s sick of me procrastinating getting it fixed.”
“Hello, Gray.” Kirill nodded in that oddly formal way of his. “I’ll go to see if Ty needs help.”
“How’s it, um, going?” Keely asked quietly. She glanced pointedly to the garage and then back to me. “With him?”
Well, I was having great success in getting him to fall asleep every night. He was waking up every morning well rested. I, meanwhile, was spending hours lying awake in his arms trying not to daydream about how amazing it would feel if he pulled me close and touched me in very inappropriate ways, but…
High Risk (Point of No Return Book 1) Page 24