by Mayne, Debby
Big Jim had handed her a small box and instructed her not to open it until she was safely with her grandparents. He even made her promise. As she nodded her promise, she couldn’t help but notice the smirk that had formed on Jimbo’s face. She shuddered at some of the memories she had of that horrible boy.
To this day, she still hadn’t opened the box. She’d lived this long not knowing what it was. Why would she want to do anything that would bring back such horrible memories? But they were still in her head. And that tiny box lay on the floor in the corner of her closet, serving as a reminder that she had a past no one in Pinecraft would ever understand.
Frustrated and perplexed, Abe stood on the street, waiting for his ride. David had sounded surprised to hear from him so soon.
“I just dropped off the last family, so your timing was good.”
Abe opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it. Then he sighed.
“I don’t have to ask what happened,” David said as soon as Abe got into the car. “It’s written all over your face.” He shook his head. “Women.”
“Something happened to her,” Abe said. “She seemed fine to a point, but when I asked her …” He looked down at his hands steepled in his lap. “I asked her if I could kiss her, and she just … well, she acted frightened.”
“That’s where you went wrong, buddy. If you wanna kiss a girl, you don’t ask, you just do it. That way she can’t turn you down.”
“Mary is different.”
“Maybe so, but it looks to me like she wouldn’t mind if you kissed her, as long as it happens by surprise.”
Abe stared at David. “What makes you say that?”
David cast a quick smile in Abe’s direction. “I’ve seen how she looks at you. She likes you, Abe. In fact, she likes you very much.”
If Abe could be sure David was right, he’d be willing to take his advice. But David obviously didn’t know how bad Mary’s past experiences might have been, and he certainly didn’t want to be the one to tell him.
“Give it a shot, Abe. You like her, she likes you. What have you got to lose? She’s Mennonite. She won’t slap you, right?”
David had a point. “Ya, I don’t think she’ll slap me.”
“Now that we’ve got that settled, my wife wanted to know if you planned to have some of your delicious vegetables at the produce market on Saturday.”
“Ya, I always do. I’m not sure yet who will be working it.”
“If you’re in the same place, I’ll just tell her to go there. She said your citrus was better than anyone else’s.” David turned at the farm entrance. “I’d like my wife to meet you one of these days.”
“Why?”
David grinned. “She’s fascinated by the things I tell her about you.”
“I don’t know what would be so fascinating about me. My life is very plain and simple.”
“Plain, maybe,” David agreed before lifting an eyebrow. “But not simple.” He came to a stop and repeated, “Definitely not simple. You seem to have pretty much the same issues people who aren’t Mennonite have, only you have a different way of dealing with them.”
Abe opened the car door but paused before getting out. “Matters of the heart are never simple, are they?”
“You got that right.” David waved as Abe got out of the car.
“I’m not hungry, Grandma,” Mary said. “I think I’ll pass on supper tonight.”
Grandma gave her a sideways glance. “I don’t want you tossing and turning all night because your stomach starts rumbling.”
Mary patted her stomach. “I don’t think that’ll happen. I ate enough at the church to last the rest of the day.”
Instead of responding, Grandma turned back to preparing the food. Mary left the kitchen and went outside. As she stood in the front yard, she glanced around at the children playing in the yard a few houses down. Occasionally she thought about having her own family, and there were even times she longed for a husband and children. The women in the neighborhood seemed content in their marriages.
Mama’s words about men always wanting something rang through her mind constantly, but sometimes Mary wondered how true they were. It was obvious that Mama’s experiences had been different from these women’s. However, Mary also remembered what Mama had told her about being shunned by her own community, and there was never any doubt her mother had told her the truth—at least from her perspective. They hadn’t exactly been warm and welcoming to Mary in the beginning. A few people, like Shelley … and Abe … treated her well, but many of the others acted as though she had some disease they might catch if they so much as had a conversation with her. No one had been openly mean, but even now people seemed afraid to hold a conversation with her. She thought about what Abe had said—that her shame made her standoffish, which in turn kept people away.
She stood in the front yard and watched a couple of neighborhood children playing ball. The older boy was kind and considerate of the younger one’s lack of coordination. Seeing these boys playing made her think about all she’d missed as a child. She wondered if she’d ever be a mother, and if so, how she’d handle questions about her past.
Mary watched the boys until their mother called them inside. Then she headed back into her grandparents’ house. Grandma and Grandpa were in the kitchen reading their Bibles. The aroma of Grandma’s homemade vegetable soup still hung in the air.
“Join us, Mary,” Grandpa said, patting her place at the table. “We were just reading from the book of Luke.”
“Luke 21:34,” Grandma added. “You may read next if you like.”
Mary nodded as she pulled her Bible from the small shelf Grandpa had built next to the table. She flipped through the pages and began to read.
“Be careful or your hearts will be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness and the anxieties of life …”
As the words flowed from Mary’s lips, she could feel the intensity of how relevant they were to her life. She’d seen the results of what happened when people got caught up in sins of the flesh. What a bitter existence. The life she had now was one of simplicity and very little focus on worrying about things. At times like this, the peace that washed through her soul reminded her of how blessed she was.
She finished the verse and glanced up in time to see Grandma wipe a tear from her cheek. Grandpa’s foot lightly touched Mary’s beneath the table. As their gazes met, she saw how concerned he was for Grandma.
Mary started to get up, but Grandpa motioned for her to sit back down. “Your grandmother and I have been talking….” He glanced over at his wife, who nodded for him to continue. “What happened to us the day you arrived was both tragic and joyful. We lost one daughter—for the second time—and gained a granddaughter we always longed to see. But the most tragic thing that happened was losing our daughter the first time—back when she found something she preferred over what we offered her.”
“I–I’m sorry,” Mary said.
“You shouldn’t be sorry,” Grandpa said with a forced smile beneath glistening, moist eyes. “You are the joy that came out of the sadness. We love you very much, and we want you to be as content as we are. The Lord has blessed us greatly.”
Mary turned to Grandma for a check on her reaction, and she was surprised to see her also smiling. “Ya, we love you very much, Mary. I know I don’t always show how much—”
“She knows you love her, Sarah.” Grandpa looked at Mary with his head tilted toward her. “We’re concerned about you, though. There is no joy in your life. All you do is go to the restaurant and then come home. We were hoping you and Abe … well, that maybe you two would hit it off.”
“Abe is a fine man,” Grandma added. “He will take care of you, and you will always know you’re safe.”
Mary looked down at her hands clasped tightly in her lap. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever feel safe—no matter where she was or who she was with. Even here with Grandma and Grandpa, in her mind the safest place on earth, there were time
s she wasn’t sure she was wanted.
Grandpa shifted in his seat, capturing Mary’s attention. “I know you have some painful memories, Granddaughter, and there’s nothing we can do about that except pray. But it’s time you learned to trust other people.”
Mary nodded. “I trust both of you.”
“Ya,” he said, “but you need to trust that the Lord has put Abe into your life for a reason.” He paused before adding, “And you need to trust Abe with your heart.”
Mary knew Grandpa meant well, but it was easier for him to say than for her to take his advice. “I’d like to,” she whispered.
“Let’s pray about this,” Grandpa said as he pulled one of her hands from the other. He reached for Grandma’s hand, and they all bowed their heads.
After the prayer, Grandpa released her hand. Mary kept her eyes squeezed shut and silently added her own thoughts and feelings. Lord, I want to be the woman You want me to be. Please show me the way, and I’ll try … no, I’ll make it my plan to do Your will.
When she opened her eyes, both of her grandparents had gotten up. Grandpa had left the room, but Grandma was over by the sink with her back turned toward Mary.
“I’m washing the pot I left to soak after supper,” Grandma said.
“Need help?”
“No, I’m almost done.” Grandma dumped the water from the pot and dried it with the dish towel before putting it back in the cupboard. “I heard you talking to that little boy. Maybe someday you’ll have children of your own.”
“Maybe.”
Grandma sighed. “I would have had a houseful if I could. Your mama was such a cheerful little girl, I thought a dozen more just like her would be perfect.” She sniffled and wiped her cheek with her sleeve. “The Lord obviously didn’t feel I should have more children. When we lost Elizabeth, your grandpa and I felt like our breath had been taken away. Worldly living does that to so many people. I didn’t want her to go up to Cincinnati to stay with those girls. I was afraid she’d never come back. When she did, I was so happy, I sang all the time. Then …” She hung her head. “As each day passed, the light in your mama’s eyes faded a little bit more. I knew something was wrong, but until I realized what she’d done and that she was pregnant, I couldn’t figure it out.”
Mary wanted to hear more about the specifics of what happened on the day Mama left from Grandma’s perspective, but she didn’t want to push for answers. She didn’t want to create tension.
“Mama missed you and Grandpa,” Mary said, her voice catching on emotion.
“Did she tell you that?” The expectant look on Grandma’s face tempted Mary to lie, but she couldn’t.
She shook her head. “No, she never actually came right out and said that, but I could tell. She was lonely.” And she cried when she didn’t think Mary could hear her.
“So was I. Some days, every time I heard a sound outside, I ran to the door, hoping it was my Elizabeth.”
Mary wanted to ask more questions—like what would have happened if she and her mother had shown up. But it seemed that questions caused Grandma to clam up. She was much more open when she spoke of her own volition.
Grandma folded the towel and hung it from the drawer handle, then turned and looked Mary squarely in the eye. “I used to worry that when you turned sixteen, you would do what your Mama did.”
Mary slowly shook her head. “No, I would never have done that. It wasn’t a good life.”
They held gazes for almost a minute before Grandma closed the gap between them and wrapped her arms around Mary. At first Mary was so stunned she froze. Then she slowly relaxed, melting into Grandma’s embrace and allowing the older woman’s warmth to provide the comfort she needed. They held on to each other until Grandma finally let go and gently held Mary at arm’s length.
“You are a delightful young woman, with a lot to offer the right man.”
Mary gulped. “I want to do what God calls me to do.” She dropped her gaze to the floor.
“Yes, I know that now.” Grandma lifted Mary’s chin and looked her in the eye. “Do you ever think what it would be like to find a husband and have your own home?”
Chapter 6
Mary lay in bed staring at the ceiling with the light from outside casting a faint glow through the thin curtains. Usually before she fell asleep, she reflected on the day and how far she’d come from her past. Tonight was different. She’d had some sort of emotional connection to Grandma that she never thought possible. Grandma’s question about whether or not she wanted a husband and home of her own played through her mind, and Abe’s image instantly appeared.
She squeezed her eyes shut and asked the Lord to give her the wisdom she needed. Abe had already made his intentions clear, and Grandma seemed to think she should try to have a normal Mennonite life.
Mary wanted a normal life, but it never seemed possible for her to have one. Her rough early years haunted her everywhere she went. When she’d first moved to Sarasota, she doubted everyone’s motives for talking to her, including Grandma and Grandpa’s. It hadn’t taken long to learn to trust Grandpa. Even though Mama had said men always wanted something, Mary sensed a strong relationship between Mama and Grandpa that her mother missed, or at least hadn’t told her about. Mama had complained about Grandpa being cold, but Mary didn’t see that in him. Grandma was a different story. According to Mama, Grandma was a vindictive old woman who didn’t understand what it was like to be young. At first, after coming to live with her grandparents, Mary agreed with Mama, but through the years, she occasionally saw a softening that escaped Grandma’s stern facade for a few minutes or seconds. Until recently.
Now everything was different. After Grandma’s talk with her during their walk, her demeanor had gradually softened even more. Mary’s thoughts swirled around all the conversations she’d had with Abe and how her grandparents were encouraging her to be with him. As her swirling thoughts gradually slowed, Mary finally relaxed and allowed sleep to wash over her.
She awakened the next morning with the determination to explore her relationship with Abe. Her feelings couldn’t be denied, and she needed to put a stop to the negative thoughts that crept into her head. Mama’s words had been spoken during the worst of all times. Mary was now much older than Mama had been when she’d left the safety and security of her family’s home. Their lives were totally different.
Grandma stood at the stove stirring something in a small pot. Without turning around, she asked, “Want some oatmeal before you go in to work this morning, or would you rather eat there?”
Mary pulled a bowl from the cupboard and set it down next to the stove. “I’ll eat before I go in.” She leaned against the counter. “I’ve been thinking about our conversation last night.”
Grandma sighed. “Sometimes you think too much. If you keep doing that, you’ll talk yourself out of happiness.”
Mary laughed. “Not this time. I’ve decided to get to know Abe better and see how things go with him.”
“You’ve known that boy for nine years, child. How much longer do you need to know him?”
Abe’s words from when she’d cast out the same argument flittered through her head. “I want to know more about him as a man. If I went on the way he acted when we were kids, I’d run fast in the other direction.”
Grandma cast a dubious look at Mary, then went back to stirring. “He couldn’t have been that bad.”
“He wasn’t, but at the time I didn’t like it. His teasing irritated me.”
“Hand me your bowl.” Grandma took the bowl from Mary’s hands and scooped some oatmeal into it. “So what do you plan to do to get to know Abe better?”
“I’ll start by accepting when he asks me to do things.”
“I thought you already did that.”
“I did, but I didn’t make it easy for him. I’ve been very defensive around Abe. That will change now.”
“Good. Now eat your oatmeal and get out of here so you can help with the breakfast crowd. I’ll be in a
fter I get the kitchen cleaned up.”
Mary gulped down her oatmeal then rinsed her bowl. She got her tote from her room, went outside, and put the bag in the basket of her three-wheeler.
She’d always enjoyed the ride to work in semidarkness, when Sarasota still seemed like a sleepy little town. In just a couple of hours, they’d have bumper-to-bumper traffic and the sounds that went with it.
From the moment she walked into the restaurant, Mary was busy waiting on tables, busing tables, and helping out in the kitchen. Her focus was on giving her customers—mostly tourists—what they needed.
“Mary.”
The soft male voice behind Mary stopped her. She slowly pivoted until she was looking into Abe Glick’s warm brown eyes. Her lips twitched as she smiled at him.
His eyebrows shot up as surprise registered on his face. “You must be having a good morning.”
“Yes.” Mary nodded as she held his gaze. “A very good morning.”
Abe nodded toward a booth in the back. “Mind if I seat myself over there?”
“That would be just fine. I’ll bring you a menu. Want coffee?”
“Don’t worry about the menu. I know what I want. Just bring coffee, and I’ll give you my order.”
“Okay, I’ll have it to you in two shakes of a horse’s tail.”
Abe leaned away and grinned. “You certainly are in a good mood this morning. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you like this before.”
Suddenly it struck Mary. Maybe Abe wouldn’t like her if he didn’t feel like he had to cheer her up. “Is that a bad thing?”
“Neh. I like it.”
“Well, good. Go have a seat, and I’ll be right there.”
Mary didn’t waste any time getting Abe his coffee. She laid the napkin-wrapped fork, knife, and spoon on the table in front of him before lifting her order pad.