Sarasota Dreams

by Mayne, Debby

  “You and Father have been together a long time,” Shelley observed.

  “Ya, we have.” An uncommon look of contentment softened her mother’s features.

  Shelley had never had a discussion about her parents’ relationship with her mother, but now seemed like a good time to start. “Were you always in love with Father, or did you ever doubt your feelings for him?”

  “Never … Well, maybe when we were very young, and he teased me unmercifully—I thought he was a pest. But after we became adults, he made his intentions very obvious, and I was smitten.”

  That sounded similar to how Jeremiah had been with Shelley, with the exception of when Jeremiah abandoned his faith. “Father was a pest?”

  Her mother laughed out loud. “That is an understatement. He found ways to annoy me when we were in our early teens.” She pursed her lips and blushed.

  “I’d love to hear about this.”

  “For starters, he hid things and then asked me if I’d seen them. Once when we had a very big homework assignment, our teacher told us to put it on our desk before we went to lunch. When we came back, mine was gone. I panicked, but one look at your father let me know he was guilty.”

  “I remember Jeremiah doing something like that to me,” Shelley blurted before thinking. The look on her mother’s face made her shrink back. “But I’m sure it was different.”

  “Another thing your father did was jump out from behind things and frighten me.”

  Shelley had never seen that playful, mischievous side of her father. All she’d ever known was the stern, serious man who came home every night for supper and ate in near silence.

  “But when we became old enough to consider courting, he let me know he’d acted out because he didn’t know what else to do about his feelings for me.” Shelley’s mother smiled shyly. “And I admitted that I was flattered. After that, we knew we would eventually get married.” She paused and looked Shelley in the eye. “There was never any doubt that we both loved the Lord because neither of us ever walked away and left our faith behind.”

  She got up and carried the teapot to the counter by the sink, ending the conversation. Shelley brought the two teacups and offered to do the dishes.

  “I’ll take care of this, Shelley. You’ve worked so hard lately. Why don’t you go to your room and rest for a few minutes?”

  As Shelley left the kitchen, she thought about her discussion with her mother. This had been one of the longest they’d had in a while, and she was grateful for the time. But it obviously was done for a purpose. A warning. Mother’s final comment about never leaving faith behind had been directed at Jeremiah.

  She closed her bedroom door, kicked off her shoes, and lay down on the lightweight summer quilt her grandmother had made. As she stared up at the ceiling, her conversation with her mother played through her mind.

  Shelley knew that her parents had married young—much younger than she was now at the age of twenty-five. Most of the Mennonite couples she knew did. Their children often waited a little longer, though, so Shelley wasn’t alone. The big difference between Shelley and some of the other single people her age was that she would have the responsibility of taking care of William for the rest of his life after her parents could no longer care for him, while the others could go into a marriage alone.

  Jeremiah was the only man Shelley’s age who actively engaged William in conversation. William clearly liked Jeremiah, but Shelley could tell when he’d heard something negative from their parents because he would always add a disparaging comment after anything positive he’d said about Jeremiah.

  After a half hour of rest, Shelley got up, repinned her hair, and adjusted her kapp. She went back to the kitchen, where her mother was still busy at the stove. Without a word, Shelley set the table for four, lingering a few extra seconds by her father’s place. She was grateful to have him home for meals, regardless of the fact that he rarely said more than a couple of words after the blessing.

  “How is that new girl doing at the restaurant?” her mother asked, clearly trying to make small talk without making the conversation as personal as it had been.

  Shelley played along. “Jocelyn? She seems fine, but she has a lot to learn.”

  “I can imagine. I guess I don’t have to tell you how surprised everyone was that Joseph hired someone like her.”

  Shelley had been surprised at the time, too, but now that she knew Jocelyn better, she saw the softer side of the girl who used makeup and multicolored spiked hair as a barrier. “She’s catching on very well, and the customers seem to like her.”

  “I’m surprised. She rather frightens me.”

  “Jocelyn isn’t frightening at all. She’s actually rather funny.” Shelley smiled at the thought of some of Jocelyn’s funny phrases.

  Her mother looked at her with a lifted eyebrow and froze for a few seconds. “I hope you don’t go getting any ideas that it’s okay to dress or act like her.”

  Shelley laughed. “Trust me, Mother, I have no desire to do either of those things. But beneath her exterior, she’s not as different from me as I thought at first.”

  William arrived home from school at that moment, a grin playing on his lips, even though he looked like he was trying to hide it. Shelley smiled back at him, and he looked away then laughed.

  “Okay, so what are you so happy about?” Shelley asked.

  “I asked Myra to marry me, and she said yes.”

  Chapter 7

  William’s joy quickly vanished as their mother shrieked, “William! No!”

  He took a step back, his face scrunching up as it always did before he cried. Shelley stood there in stunned silence as her mother told him he’d never be able to marry a girl. A huge tear trickled down his cheek, and his chin quivered.

  When Mother stopped her rant, William looked her in the eye. “But I love her.”

  “You don’t understand love,” Mother replied.

  He blinked and wiped a tear as it escaped. “I love you, too.”

  Mother looked helplessly at Shelley, silently pleading for help, but Shelley had no idea what to say. She understood her mother’s concern, but she disagreed with her about William understanding love. He knew better than anyone how to love a person, but she was aware that didn’t erase the complications of his proposal.

  Shelley took a deep breath to steady her nerves and her voice before addressing her brother. “William, where do you know Myra?”

  “She works with me at the shop.”

  “That settles it,” their mother said. “You are not going back to that place. I told your father it wasn’t a good idea for you to work.”

  “I want to keep working,” William argued. “I like having my own money.”

  Shelley nodded. “I understand that, William.” She glanced over at their mother. “Perhaps we can discuss this more, after Father gets home.”

  As Mother lifted her hand to her forehead, a sense of dread flooded Shelley. That simple gesture was generally followed by a quick drop into depression that could last for weeks. In the past, it seemed to be triggered by their father’s switch to late shifts, but this was something new.

  “William, you are awfully young to be thinking about getting married. How old is Myra?” Shelley asked.

  He puffed up his chest and smiled. “Myra is eighteen years old.” His grin widened. “And she’s pretty. I like her red hair.”

  “I’m sure she’s very pretty, but you haven’t been working there very long. Getting married is very serious.”

  “I know that,” William said. “I’m serious, too.”

  “Do you know anything about her family?”

  “She lives in a group home.”

  “Does she have a family?”

  He thought for a few seconds and then nodded. “I think her mother lives in Tampa. I don’t know where her father lives.”

  Shelley and her mother exchanged a glance before Shelley turned back to William. “Maybe we can meet Myra sometime. Why don’t I ge
t someone to drive me to pick you up from work on Monday?”

  “I like riding the van,” he argued. “Myra rides with me, and we hold hands. We drop her off at her house first.”

  Shelley took a step back, placed her hands on her hips, and gave him what she hoped was an authoritative look. “Well, before you make the decision to marry Myra, we need to meet her and her family. I’m sure they feel they same way.” She glanced at her mother, who stood off to the side looking aghast but remaining silent.

  “Why?” he asked.

  “That’s just the way it’s done. When you marry a girl, not only are you getting a wife, but you’re also taking on her whole family.”

  “How about her? Does she get a whole new family, too?”

  “Yes, William, it works both ways.”

  “That is very good. Myra says she wants a family just like mine, and now she’ll have one.”

  Shelley hoped her talk hadn’t backfired, but she couldn’t worry about it. What she’d said was true, and now she needed to pray about it.

  “Go wash up, William. Supper will be ready as soon as Father comes home.”

  As soon as he was out of the kitchen, Shelley’s mother sank down in a chair. “What are we going to do?”

  “We are going to pray, Mother. That’s all we can do. Besides, William can’t get married anyway because he’s too young.”

  “You seem to be forgetting one very important thing, Shelley. William will never be able to get married.”

  Shelley wasn’t so sure her mother was right, but even if she was, she was fretting over something unnecessarily. “I’ll talk to William about all the things involved in getting married. Maybe he’ll realize it’s not as easy as he seems to think it is.”

  “I don’t think he’ll understand,” Mother argued.

  William understood quite a bit more than most people gave him credit for, and Shelley had been amazed at how much he comprehended. “Just let me talk to him before you worry any more. By the time I finish with him, I doubt he’ll want to pursue this whole thing.”

  “Why?” Mother asked, her expression changing to confusion. “What do you plan to say to him?”

  “I’m not sure yet. I’ll need to think about it.”

  “Don’t make him think marriage is a bad thing, just because you do.”

  Shelley was stunned. “I don’t think marriage is bad. I think it’s wonderful.”

  “If you think marriage is good, why aren’t you trying harder to find a husband?”

  Shelley’s mouth went dry. Couldn’t her mother see the truth—that getting married was extremely difficult for Shelley based on how much she was needed at home? She started to talk, but her voice caught in her throat. Good thing, too, because if she’d said what was on her mind, there was no telling how her mother would react.

  “If your talk with William doesn’t work, we have a mess on our hands. It’s bad enough my oldest child married an outsider and left the church. To have my baby do that, too, and in his condition …” Her chin quivered just as William’s had.

  “Tammy is a very sweet woman,” Shelley said. “They’re going to church.”

  “But they’re not going to our church, which was my dream. I always thought my children would grow up, get married, and attend the church you grew up in. That way we can always be together as a family, and I’d get to see my grandchildren.”

  “Mother, you get to see your grandchildren quite often, and it’s not like they live all that far away. They always come when you need them. I pray every day that Paul comes back to our church and brings his family with him because I know it means so much to you.” She took Mother’s hand and held it tightly. Although Paul still walked with the Lord and attended a good church, her mother’s heart was set on them being together as a family.

  Her mother’s eyes misted as she sighed and pulled her hand away. “Let’s finish up supper so we can eat as soon as your father gets home.”

  As they worked in silence, Shelley allowed her thoughts to wander, and they settled on Jeremiah. Even though she’d seen some big changes in him, there was no way her mother would ever accept him. Shelley figured it was futile to even consider a relationship with him. Her mother would never forget that he’d left the church once, and she’d worry herself sick over the thought he might do it again. If he’d managed to continue walking with the Lord when he left, things might have been different, and her mother might have been more accepting.

  Shelley was happy that he’d found a place with Abe though, even if she’d never be able to share it with him. She sighed and then startled as she realized the subconscious thoughts she’d been harboring. In spite of her words and attempts to keep her emotional distance from Jeremiah, she’d started to fall in love with him. That simply couldn’t be. She’d hurt her family if she even suggested any such thing.

  On Monday morning, Jeremiah worked hard at finishing the task Abe had assigned so he could start a little early on his own crops. Abe gave him a specific task each day now and told him that once it was done, he was free. Since he didn’t need Charles today, he only had to be concerned about finishing his own work.

  As he walked the rows of trees, he thought about how closed off Shelley’s family had seemed at church yesterday. After the services were over, the Burkholder family left before he’d had a chance to say more than good-bye to Mr. Burkholder and William. He’d seen Shelley across the room sitting in the midst of a group of women, but she wouldn’t look up at him.

  “Good job, Jeremiah,” Abe said from behind. “You look like a man on a mission.”

  “I am.” Jeremiah suspected Abe only knew half the mission—the part about him having his own land. The other half was still in the works—the part with Shelley by his side as his wife. It would be a challenge, but that didn’t deter Jeremiah. He’d overcome much more difficult tests, so he had no doubt he’d find a way to make Shelley realize how sincere he was.

  “Do you need anything?”

  “Not at the moment.” At least not anything Abe could help him with.

  “Good. Let me know when you’re done.”

  After Abe took off toward another part of the property, Jeremiah let his mind wander to his personal life. During the time he’d been away from the church, he’d experienced myriad emotions, starting with a sense of freedom and ending with desperation for not being grounded anymore. How anyone could get through an entire life without their faith in God was beyond him. Not being connected with his church left him with an empty feeling. He had friends, but they could only do so much to satisfy the emptiness only the Lord could fill.

  Once it became evident he needed to reconnect, he’d fought God in his mind and by acting like someone he didn’t know. He cringed as he remembered some of the things he’d shouted from his car when he’d seen Abe and Mary. Fortunately, they’d forgiven him and never even brought it up again. Now it was time for him to settle down and make a life for himself that was pleasing to God. He wanted a family, but he needed a wife who was interesting, intelligent, and could challenge him when he strayed in thought and word.

  Shelley was perfect for him. He found her dedication to her family very attractive. Jeremiah was aware that he’d be taking on more than a wife if Shelley agreed to marry him, but he was fine with that. He liked William, and he was pretty sure William liked and respected him.

  Now all he had to do was find a way to gain her family’s trust. Her father was busy with his job, and her mother’s emotional health seemed precarious, so it wouldn’t be an easy feat. This would take considerable thought, but that was fine. He wasn’t in a hurry.

  After Shelley got off work on Monday afternoon, she walked to the church school. She knew that the van often waited at the school for William to get out of class, and she hoped that would be the case today. As soon as she got close enough to see the front, she saw that the van was there. She quickened her step until she approached the driver.

  “Excuse me, but do you have room for one more perso
n today?” she asked.

  He turned and gave her a confused look. “I beg your pardon?”

  Shelley explained that she wanted to go to William’s workplace, but she didn’t drive. He’d been in the area long enough to understand her situation.

  “I think that would be fine, as long as it’s just this once,” he said. “A couple of the people are on vacation, so we’re not full this week. This is my first stop, though. I still have a couple of stops to make.”

  “Good. Mind if I get in now?”

  He opened the door for her, and she climbed into the very back seat. A few seconds after she buckled herself in, the front door of the school opened, and the kids streamed out. Only a couple of school-aged kids went to the shop where William worked, and William was the only one from the Pinecraft community, but the van was generally full at the end of the workday when the driver took everyone home.

  Shelley sat and waited for William to board the van. He didn’t seem to notice her at first, but she said his name, and he turned around. At first he appeared happy to see her, and then his expression quickly changed.

  “Why are you here, Shelley?” he asked. “Are you spying on me?”

  “No, of course I’m not spying on you. I just want to see where you work and meet some of your friends.”

  “You just want to make trouble for me and Myra.”

  “I would never do that, but I do want to meet Myra. I’m sure she’s a very nice girl.”

  “She’s the nicest girl in the whole wide world. I love her.”

  “Then don’t worry, William. I’m sure I’ll love her, too.”

  They arrived at the shop a few minutes later. After the kids got out, Shelley hopped down from the van, turned around, and thanked the driver.

  He waved. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

  “Do you have to go in with me?” William asked. “I don’t want anyone to think I’m a baby.”

  “Why would anyone think you’re a baby? You have a real job, so I’m sure they won’t think that.”