by Mayne, Debby
Jeremiah understood what William was going through after experiencing it most of his life. “Why did that make you run … er, leave work?”
“When she saw me wearing this shirt, she said I was still funny-looking.”
“That was a very mean thing for her to say,” Jeremiah said.
“I know. I wanted to take off my shirt and throw it at her, but I didn’t have anything else to wear, so I kept my shirt on and left.”
“Sometimes people say mean things to me, too.”
“Does that make you cry?” William asked.
Jeremiah leaned over and propped his elbows on his thighs as he pondered how to answer the question without being condescending. “It used to, but as I get older and hopefully wiser, I realize when people do that, they’re crying out for help.”
“What are you talking about?”
“It means that when people say mean things, they aren’t talking about you. It’s more how they feel about themselves. Happy people who have a good understanding of everyone’s differences generally don’t try to make other people feel bad.”
William’s forehead crinkled, and the corners of his mouth tightened. Finally, he nodded. “I believe you.”
“When Myra said those mean things, did she make sure other people could hear her?”
“Ya. Everyone heard her, and that’s what hurts my feelings.”
“I don’t think she would have said that to you if no one else were listening. I think she was just trying to show off.” Jeremiah straightened up and propped his forearm on William’s shoulder. “She was trying to make herself look smart by putting you down.”
William turned to face Jeremiah head-on. “Myra has always been a show-off.”
“I bet everyone knows that, so they don’t think any less of you for what she said.”
“Everyone does know,” William admitted before growing silent.
“You realize you have a lot of people worried about you, don’t you?”
William frowned and nodded. “Ya, but I didn’t think about that when I left.”
Jeremiah stood and gestured for William to follow. “Let’s get you back home with your family, and I’ll return this car to the dealership.”
“Can I ride up front with you?” William asked.
“Yes, of course you can.”
William’s mood instantly changed as he expressed his excitement over riding in the car. “How fast can you go?”
Jeremiah chuckled. “The speed limit is only forty-five, so that’s as fast as we’re going.”
By the time they arrived at the Burkholder house, William’s tears had dried. His mother and sister waited anxiously in the front yard. Peter was nowhere in sight.
Shelley approached the car, flung open the passenger door, and wrapped her arms around William. “We were sick with worry. Don’t ever do that to us again.”
“Excuse me, Shelley, but I can’t get out with you standing in my way.”
Shelley laughed and scooted to the side. “Then come on. Mother wants to hug you, too.”
After William walked around Shelley toward their mother, Shelley leaned over to talk to Jeremiah. “Thank you for finding my brother. How did you know where to look?”
“I didn’t know for sure, but I remembered that he went to a park last time he wandered off, so when I saw the park, I took a chance he might have gone there.”
Shelley smiled. “We need to have a long talk with William about not wandering off.”
“Or maybe you need to have some way of him letting you know when he needs to get away by himself.”
Shelley’s smile faded as she shook her head. “He should never be by himself.”
“Every man needs to be alone once in a while to think—particularly when he has woman trouble.”
“Does this have anything to do with Myra?” Shelley asked.
“I’ll let William tell you. But don’t force him just yet. He and I talked, and I think he still needs to sort out a few things first.”
Shelley’s eyes narrowed as her voice deepened. “The only thing he needs to sort out is not scaring our mother half to death.”
“Shelley…,” Jeremiah began, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell her to back off. If something like this had happened to his own family, there was no telling what he’d do.
“Thank you for bringing him home to us. We can take it from here.” Shelley held his gaze for a few seconds before joining her mother and brother.
Jeremiah sat and watched the Burkholder family huddle before he pulled away from the curb. All the way to the car dealership, he thought about how little he was trusted—even when he did everything in his power to make things right again.
Lord, I don’t know how to make Shelley and her family see that I’m sincere.
I’ve done everything I can think of. If there is anything else I can do, please show me … and make it obvious because I’m blind to subtle messages.
He alternated between praying and talking to himself. Ever since he’d left the church, his life had seemed very shaky. He never doubted that coming back was the right thing to do, but having to constantly prove himself was getting tiresome.
“Someone needs to let Peter know that we’ve found William,” Shelley’s mother said after William went to his room. “Shelley, why don’t you call him?”
Shelley didn’t want to talk to Peter, but she did it anyway so he wouldn’t continue looking. When he answered the phone, she could hear the background noise.
“Are you at Penner’s?” she asked.
“Um … yes,” Peter replied. “William isn’t here.”
“I know that. He’s here with us.”
“Oh good.” She didn’t hear an ounce of conviction in his voice. “I thought he’d probably find his way home.”
“He didn’t come back by himself.”
“Hey, Shelley, I gotta run. Mrs. Penner just put my plate in front of me, and I don’t want my food to get cold.”
She clicked off the phone without another word as annoyance coursed through her. Peter didn’t care anything about William, or he would have been out there looking for him. Her mother needed to know.
“Did you get ahold of Peter?” Mother asked.
“Yes.” Shelley tried to loosen the muscle in her jaw before continuing. “He was at Penner’s getting something to eat.”
“Poor Peter. He must have worked up an appetite looking for our William.”
That was the final straw. “No, Mother, Peter wasn’t the least bit worried about William. All Peter thinks about is what Peter wants.”
“Shelley! I will not have you talk about Peter like that. He’s a fine young man who lost his mind temporarily but finally came to his senses about you.”
“That’s not true,” Shelley said, working hard to keep her voice calm. “He wanted to marry Clara, but she wanted to go back to Pennsylvania, and he wasn’t willing to follow her.”
“That’s because—”
Shelley interrupted her mother. “That’s because Peter couldn’t have everything he wanted, so he gave her an ultimatum—either Pennsylvania or him. And Clara had the sense to choose Pennsylvania.”
“And how would you know this?”
“Peter told me. Mother, I once thought I loved Peter, but now that I look back on our relationship, I realize it was all about him. As long as I made him happy and he got his way, he came around. Clara came along and showed him a little interest, and he turned his back on me like I meant nothing to him.”
Mother studied Shelley as though she understood, but that didn’t last long. “Like I said, he’s come to his senses, and he sees what he almost gave up.”
“There’s another thing I don’t think you realize,” Shelley continued. “Peter has never wanted to take on the responsibility for William.”
“He doesn’t have to.”
“If he marries me, he will. I love William, and I will never turn my back on my little brother.”
“I love you, too,
Shelley,” William said from the hallway. “I will always be your little brother.” He closed the gap between them and pulled Shelley in for a hug.
As Shelley enjoyed William’s embrace, she looked over his shoulder at their mother and wondered what all he’d heard. “How long have you been listening to us, William?” she said softly as she stepped back.
“The first thing I heard you say was that you love me.” His grin melted her heart. “I love you, and I love Mother, and I love Father.” His chest rose and fell with a deep breath before he added, “And I love Jeremiah. Did you know that he likes to go to the park to think when he has a bad day?”
“Enough of that,” Mother said. “William, go back to your room and think about what you did. We will call for you when it’s time for supper.”
A flash of pain shot across William’s face, but he did as he was told. As soon as he was out of the room, Shelley spun around and faced her mother.
“Did you even bother to hear why William took off?” Shelley asked.
“Neh.” Mother folded her arms and scrunched her face. “There is no reason to bother with that. He needs to understand that he is never allowed to run off like he did today.”
“Maybe if we took the time to listen to him, he wouldn’t feel the need to run away like he does.”
“There is never any reason for him to run away. William has as good of a life as we can possibly give him. In fact, I think perhaps we give him too much. I’m going to talk to your father about taking him out of that silly work program.”
“You can’t do that!” Shelley couldn’t believe her mother would even suggest such a thing. “He loves working and having his own money.”
“If he loves working so much, then he shouldn’t have left and scared us half to death.”
Shelley could see that they weren’t getting anywhere, so she decided to use a different tack. She took a cleansing breath then gestured toward the kitchen. “Why don’t we put our heads together and try to figure out some way to help him through this problem he’s having with that girl who keeps tormenting him?”
“If it’s not her, it will be someone else. Instead of wasting all our time on figuring out how to help him deal with this, we should have him come straight home after school.”
Shelley knew how much William valued the small paycheck he brought home, so she decided to stop trying to convince her mother and talk to William. “I’ll help you start supper, and then I think I’ll go have a chat with William.”
“Good idea,” Mother said. “Perhaps you can talk some sense into that boy. If he keeps this up, he’ll drive me to an early grave.”
Rather than continue a conversation that obviously was going nowhere, Shelley helped her mother in silence. Once everything was in the oven, she removed her apron and went to William’s room.
She stood at the door of his room and watched him for a few seconds as he sat at his desk staring out the window. “William?”
He turned around and met her gaze. “Hi, Shelley. Is supper ready?”
“No, not yet. Mind if I come in?”
“You can come in.” He turned back to the window and pointed. “Look at that redbird out there. I think he forgot he was supposed to fly north.”
Shelley leaned over and watched the bird pecking at the food on the bird feeder Father had placed in the backyard. “Why should he fly north when he has it made right here in Sarasota?”
“Because that’s where his family and friends are,” William replied. “If I was a bird, I wouldn’t want them to go away without me.”
“But you went away without us,” Shelley reminded him.
“That’s different. I was upset.”
“Maybe the bird is upset about something.”
William watched the bird until it had its fill and flew away. He looked directly at Shelley. “Do you think Myra will ever like me again?”
“Maybe, but if I were you, I would concentrate on your job and not so much on whether or not Myra likes you.”
“I want her to like me.”
Shelley reached for his hand and held it between both of hers. “But why?” He shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t want anyone to not like me.”
“Do you like your job?”
“Uh-huh. I like doing work and making money. And Mr. O’Reilly is very nice. He tells me I’m a hard worker, but it really isn’t hard at all. I just do what he tells me to do, and that always makes him happy.”
“You’re supposed to enjoy your work, but that doesn’t mean you have to put up with mean-spirited people.”
“Shelley, is anyone ever mean to you?”
“Sometimes, but I try not to think about them too much.” She thought about the few rude customers she’d had to deal with. “I have to admit that I’m glad when they leave the restaurant.”
“Myra works with me, so she won’t leave.”
“Are there any nice people there?”
“Uh-huh. Alexander is nice. His mother bakes cupcakes, and sometimes he shares with me during break.”
Shelley smiled. “That’s very sweet. Why don’t you ignore Myra and just be friends with Alexander?”
William thought about that and nodded. “That’s what I’m going to do. I’ll tell Alexander to ignore Myra, too.”
“I don’t think God would want you to tell Alexander to do anything like that, but I do think He’d want you to concentrate on the things you like about work.”
The sound of Father coming in the door caught their attention. Shelley stood. “Why don’t we go set the table and help Mother get everything ready for supper?”
“Is it okay if I come out of my room now?” William asked.
“Yes, I’m sure it’s fine.” She took him by the hand and led him to the kitchen, where Mother and Father were already deep in conversation.
Chapter 12
By Friday, the Burkholder family had settled back down. Shelley’s only concern was Mother’s increasingly gloomy mood. Each time something happened, she handled the crisis as it happened and then gradually retreated into despondency and remained in bed later than usual. Shelley was concerned about leaving her alone.
Shelley went to her mother’s bedside. “Do you want me to stay with you or call someone?”
“No,” Mother said. “Go on to work. I’ll get up in a few minutes to help William get ready for school.”
“I’ve already done that. He’s eating breakfast right now.”
In the dim early-morning light, Shelley watched her mother stiffen and then turn over on her other side. When Shelley was much younger, Mother’s moods had frightened her, but now she expected them.
“I’ll see you this afternoon,” Shelley said as she pulled the bedroom door closed behind her.
“Is Mother sick again?” William asked when Shelley joined him in the kitchen.
“I’m not sure. Do you think you can finish and get to school without any help?”
William slammed down his fork. “Of course I can. I am not a baby. When will this family ever understand that I am almost a grown-up?”
Shelley lifted her eyebrows and glared at her younger brother. “William!”
He tucked his chin close to his chest and offered a sheepish look. “Sorry. I know God doesn’t like me to get mad.”
“I made your lunch, and it’s in the sack on the counter.”
“Thank you, Shelley.” He lifted another forkful of eggs to his mouth but stopped. “I promise I won’t run away again, even if Myra says mean things.”
“Good. Myra is the one with the problem, not you.”
William nodded. “Alexander would never be mean.”
Shelley paused and then leaned over the table to look William in the eye. “Just remember that anyone can say hurtful things, but that doesn’t mean you should react.”
He gave her a puzzled look.
“When people say mean things in the future, either ignore them until they stop, or stand up to them and tell them to stop being so mean. Then drop i
t.”
“Okay.” A smile tweaked his lips. “Maybe Alexander’s mother will make cupcakes, and he’ll bring one to share.”
“That would be nice. Just in case she didn’t, I put an extra cookie in your lunch bag for your break at work.”
Shelley left for work with a heavy heart filled with worry about her mother. She wished she knew what to do about her mother’s depression, but no matter how hard she tried to cheer her mother up, nothing seemed to work.
The morning crowd slowly trickled in, and business remained steady for a couple of hours. Jocelyn arrived right before they reached their peak. Shortly after ten o’clock, the bell on the door jingled. When Shelley glanced up, she saw her brother Paul.
“Take a break, Shelley,” Mr. Penner said. “Go visit with your brother, and I’ll bring over some coffee.”
“Good morning, Shelley,” Paul said. “I took the morning off to see Mother, but she isn’t home.”
“I think she is home still, but she’s having one of her spells.” Shelley glanced around to make sure no one else could hear. “I’m worried about her, Paul. Mother is getting worse.”
“I sort of suspected that might be the case since I heard about William running away.”
“Who told you?”
Paul blew on his coffee and took a sip. “Father called me this morning. Fortunately, I still have some personal days I can take off from work. Is there anything I can do?”
“I don’t know,” Shelley admitted. “I might have made matters worse yesterday when I talked back to her.” As she told him about the words she and Mother had exchanged, he nodded his understanding. “Mother wants me to agree to marry Peter, but that’s not what I want.”
Paul smiled and took her hand from across the table. “You don’t have to marry Peter just because Mother wants you to, but we need to help her get through whatever she’s dealing with.”
“I wish I knew what to do.”
“There’s something else going on that Father told me about, and I wanted to hear your side of the story.”