‘Sorry?’ I said, feeling a little foolish for my sudden flights of fancy regarding my fictional future with Aaron.
Not so fictional, I reminded myself. This is really happening.
‘I think that’s a jolly good idea,’ Rupert said briskly, getting to his feet. ‘I’m famished.’
Unseen by our guests, Aaron patted me on the backside and dropped me a cheeky wink before he moved away from me. Linda jumped up from the sofa and came over to me as soon as Aaron had vacated my side and linked her arm in mine. Her scent of orange blossom and jasmine hung heavy in the air around me, making me think of sultry evenings in tropical climates.
She smiled warmly at me. ‘I’m starved, too.’
Aaron, Rupert and Gary fell into stride together, laughing at a joke that I didn’t catch, and Camilla trailed after us.
Immediately, I felt sorry for Camilla. I had assumed that it would be me that would feel left out, but already I could sense a genuine, burgeoning friendship developing between me and Linda. Camilla was just accompanying her husband on what was ultimately a work weekend, and I suspected that me and me and Linda were hardly the type of people that she would usually socialise with. This wasn’t an issue with her husband so much seeing as this was just work for him, and the age gap between himself and his work colleagues would be irrelevant.
I stopped walking to allow her to draw level with us and smiled warmly at her, slipping out of Linda’s grip in what I hoped was the least offensive way possible. The three of us stood together in a lose circle as the men left the room.
Then the most obvious thing occurred to me; I was Aaron’s girlfriend, and for all intents and purposes, she was on my turf. It was up to me to make her feel comfortable. If she was a little dubious of me, who could blame her? Maybe she was inwardly groaning at an evening of small talk with a potential airhead just to appease her husband. Maybe she had done this for Rupert countless of times before, and she was sick of dining with the wives with whom she had nothing in common, apart from the fact that their husbands worked in the medical industry.
I decided to go for full emotional disclosure. Just as Aaron said. No secrets. Complete honesty.
‘I’ll be honest, I was really nervous about meeting all of you tonight. Aaron and I have hardly known each five minutes, but we’ve fallen in love. I know you both know that Aaron lost his wife not so long ago, and I lost my husband not long after. It changes you, living through something like that. I’ve been pretty much a recluse for the past few years, but when I met Aaron, something just clicked into place for us. Why waste time, we thought? We decided that life is too short, too precious to waste.’
Camilla looked at me with new interest, her head cocked to one side. ‘Rupert says he never speaks about his wife. After the fire he never mentioned his wife’s name again. Rupert was surprised to hear that he had met someone.’
It felt a little strange, talking to strangers about something so intensely personal, but it was cathartic, too. Freeing.
I nodded. ‘I think it nearly destroyed him.’
Ever so lightly, Linda touched my arm, and I caught the frown she shot in Camilla’s direction. ‘It’s okay, Joyce, you don’t have to justify yourself to us.’
I wondered how well Linda and Camilla got on. They had been nothing short of thrown together for the next few days, and I wondered if they had a friendship outside of their husbands’ careers.
‘I guess I just want to be honest with you both,’ I said. ‘Since I’ve met Aaron, I think I’m starting to look at things a little differently. I think he is too, hence him wanting to take early retirement.’
Camilla’s mouth fell open. ‘He’s handing in his notice? Oh, so that’s why he invited us here tonight, to put out the feelers with Rupert.’
Why am I saying this? I thought. I had probably overstepped the mark, and for some unknown reason, it would seem that I had made the decision to trust Camilla. I don’t know why, exactly, but this devil-may-care attitude was taking me over.
‘Please don’t say anything,’ I quickly added. ‘Aaron wants to tell Rupert in his own time, in his own way. Please pretend that you don’t know.’
‘Why, yes dear, of course.’
I looked at her. She seemed like she was genuine enough, the signs of standoffishness that she had exhibited earlier all but disappeared. I just hoped that I hadn’t misjudged the situation; it had been so long since I had communicated with anyone in any real way, apart from my mother and Becky, that I feared I was being too full-on.
‘Are you ladies coming?’ Aaron called from the hallway.
‘Yes,’ we chorused back in unison.
All three of us looked at each other and giggled. The ice had been broken.
TWENTY
The dining-room looked beautiful, if more than a little austere. Truth be told, it was my least favourite room in the mansion. I found it too stuffy, too pretentious, too expensive, too damn intimidating; just too much. It was done out in a decidedly stately style, with blood-red, flock wallpaper and chunky, intricately carved gold-framed portraits adorning the walls. When I had asked about those dark, unsmiling, gloomy, overly large paintings, he had said that they were family heirlooms, depicting relatives from the past century. They were mostly of older, plump-faced woman, painted from the waist up, glaring down at whomever may be dining with utter disdain.
The surface of the long, oblong table gleamed so hard one could easily see one’s face in it. Over the mirror-like surface hung a large, crystal chandelier, the reflection of which positively dazzled on the highly polished table-top. The shininess of it was in stark contrast to the dark, muted colours of the rest of the room. I found the deep reds and browns depressing and sombre.
But more than that, I found the room frightening.
Up until this very moment, this wasn’t something that I had consciously realised. But those dark colours, coupled with the dingy, dark depictions of those frowning faces somehow chilled me to the bone. I knew I was being quite ridiculous, but I found the room nightmarish. It was however, more than just the dark colours and even darker paintings, it was something else. It wasn’t anything that I could even put into words, but the overall feel of the room was oppressive and disturbing.
I shook off the strange feeling that gnawed away at my guys and pasted on a jovial expression as the two guest couples took their places around that hateful, shiny table. Aaron and I hovered near the door, as he was to fry the steaks and I was to play waitress.
‘Oh my, what an incredible room,’ Rupert said, his awed voice tinged with jealousy. A little different from your London flat, I must say.’
Aaron laughed easily. ‘I forget that you’ve never seen my Cornish, family home before.’
‘Indeed. And what a magnificent home it is, too.’
‘Thanks. Joyce, would you care to help me in the kitchen?’
‘Of course,’ I replied.
‘Please excuse us, we shan’t be long,’ Aaron said, placing a hand on the small of my back and guiding me out of the room.
* * *
When the steaks and Linda’s salmon were cooked, I carried the plates through to our guests, along with the wooden bowls of salad and new potatoes. Aaron and I worked quickly and efficiently together, him being assertive but never veering into bossy territory.
We sat down to eat earlier than Aaron had anticipated, but no one seemed to mind.
‘This is delicious,’ Linda smiled, tucking into her salmon.
‘Indeed,’ Camilla agreed.
After that, the conversation flowed around the table, the men mainly dominating. Gary told some funny stories about work and once Rupert loosened up a bit, he really wasn’t so bad, I decided. Or maybe that had more to do with the red wine softening everything nicely.
By the time we served cheese and biscuits, Linda was asking me how many rooms the mansion said.
‘It’s really the most extraordinary place I’ve ever seen,’ she was saying.
‘Then why
don’t you let Joyce show you and Camilla round the house while us three have a brandy,’ Aaron said.
Linda rolled her eyes. ‘Oh, how Victorian. The man sip brandy in the drawing room while the little women make themselves scarce.’
I giggled, but Camilla, despite the fact she seemed to be warming to me considerably, barely cracked a smile. Apparently, she was still very much a traditionalist. But I knew perfectly well why Aaron had suggested it; he wanted to discuss the finer points of his resignation in relative privacy.
I got to my feet. ‘Come on, then ladies, let’s leave the boys to it.’
* * *
Even though I had only been in Linda’s company for a few hours, I felt like I’d known her for years. In many ways, she reminded me of Sally, given that she was bright, outspoken and with a big heart. Already I knew a lot about her life, from her job – a children’s book illustrator – to the fact her and Gary had made the conscious decision to never have children.
‘I don’t know,’ she said to me and Camilla out in the hallway, ‘All my friends that are parents are just so frazzled and stressed and don’t seem to even enjoy the whole thing of being a parent. Maybe I’m just too selfish but I just love lying-in in the morning. Plus exotic holidays just wouldn’t be the same with a toddler tagging along.’ Her eyes widened in horror when she realised what she had just said. ‘Shit. No offence.’
‘None taken,’ I smiled.
Camilla however, looked a little stern. ‘Children are the most rewarding career in the world. You don’t know what joys you’re missing out on. I only say this because you’re still so young, you could still have a family.’
Linda made a dismissive pfft noise. ‘At the grand old age of forty-one? I think my shrivelled old womb is beyond help, even with IVF.’
The three of us wandered into the kitchen and my spirits were instantly lifted.
‘I much prefer this room,’ I sighed. ‘That dining-room is so stuffy and ugly.’
‘Really?’ Camilla retorted. ‘I thought it was lovely.’
‘Hah,’ Linda said, ‘you got that right, this room is much nicer. I love that table, it reminds me of a gorgeous little pub in St Ives – The Sloop, I think it’s called. Hey, maybe the three of us should meet up there tomorrow for a girly lunch. What do you say?’
‘Sorry,’ Camilla replied a little primly, ‘Rupert has tomorrow day off, so we were planning on taking in the sights.’
‘I’d love to,’ I said slowly, ‘but Becky’s not enrolled in any kind of day care and I don’t like asking people to babysit.’
Then bring her, too,’ she answered quickly. ‘Come on, it’ll be fun. I can have lunch with a screaming kid and be one of those people that I usually sneer at in restaurants.’
I smiled at that. ‘Okay, you’re on. But I warn you now, Becky can scream with the best of them.’
‘Bring it on, baby,’ she replied laughing.
* * *
Back in the dining-room, the three men sat around the table in the same seats, nursing a glass of brandy each.
I looked at Aaron, and ever so slightly, he nodded.
So he had told him, then.
‘Aaron wishes to leave us,’ Rupert announced with a surprising trace of sadness. ‘Such a shame, and such a loss for the NHS.’ He turned to look at Aaron, his expression grave. ‘You were a fine surgeon, my boy, quite possibly the best I’ve ever known.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Aaron replied. ‘The flat is on the market and I feel like the time is now, especially now that I’ve met Joyce, too.’
I’ll give Camilla and Linda their due, for they managed to paste on suitably surprised expressions. ‘What a shame,’ and ‘oh dear,’ they both murmured.
Aaron smiled at me and I smiled back. So this was it, then. This was really happening. Aaron was retiring and this was the start of our new life together.
TWENTY-ONE
Our guests lingered for another couple of hours before finally getting a taxi back to their hotel just before midnight.
All in all, it had been a pleasant evening. More than pleasant, I thought, it had been a roaring success.
‘You did amazingly well tonight,’ Aaron said when we were alone at last and tidying up the dining-room. ‘Camilla is notoriously prickly, but you handled her beautifully.’
I was wiping down the table, and Aaron was piling all the glasses, empty bottles and cheeseboard paraphernalia onto a tray.
‘They’re nice people. In fact, me and Linda are meeting up tomorrow for lunch at The Sloop.’
Out of the corner of my eye, as I continued to wipe down the table, I became aware that Aaron was standing perfectly still and had ceased piling things onto the tray. I stopped what I was doing and straightened up to look at him. To my amusement, he was looking at me incredulously.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘Wrong? Nothing. Nothing at all. So you’re meeting Linda for lunch. What about Becky? Would you like me to take her or will your mum have her?’
‘Actually, she’s coming with me.’
He looked at me incredulously. ‘Linda, out for lunch with a child? Are you sure we’re talking about the same Linda, here? Gary told me that she has an aversion to children.’
‘Well, I guess she’s going to make an exception for Becky.’
As soon as my daughter’s name exited my lips, I instinctively glanced over at the baby monitor on the tall sideboard – a piece of furniture that was as imposing as the rest of the room.
‘She’s fine,’ Aaron said with a smile.
‘I know. I can’t help it.’
I got back to wiping down the table. ‘Leave it,’ he said. ‘The cleaner’s coming tomorrow, anyway.’
He came up behind me and pulled me round so that I was facing him. His arms snaked around my waist and my hands instinctively curled around his shoulders. Now it was my turn to ask him what was wrong.
‘What is it, Aaron?’
He seemed desperately ill at ease, his face drained of colour yet splotched with the faintest tinge of red high up on his cheeks.
‘I love you, Joyce,’ he blurted out, and before I knew it, he had dropped to one knee.
I stared at him in disbelief, grateful for the table behind my backside for my legs had turned to the proverbial jelly. I couldn’t believe it; watching him on bended knee was akin to being smacked over the head with a baseball bat.
Surely he’s not going to… Surely not…
I continued to watch in utter dismay when he reached into the front pocket of his black jeans and produced a small black box.
Dear God, he is…
He clicked open the box, revealing a silver ring with a glittering centre, the details of which utterly passed me by in that moment.
‘My darling Joyce. Will you marry me?’
I bent over slightly to cup his gorgeous face in my hands. ‘Yes,’ I answered in amazement. ‘Of course I will.’
Laughing, he jumped to his feet and bundled me into his arms, smothering my face with kisses.
I could hardly believe that he had asked me.
I could hardly believe that I had said yes.
The kisses stopped being playful and light when his mouth sought mine, the kiss deepening into something else entirely. He pulled me tighter against him and I moaned softly into his mouth, my need for him all-consuming.
He trailed kisses to my neck and whispered in my ear: ‘Let’s go to bed.’
I didn’t have to be asked twice.
Up in the bedroom, the sex was sweet and gentle. I was carried away on a tide of tender desire, Aaron treating my body like it was the most precious, beautiful object in the world.
As he drove into me, he whispered in my ear that he loved me more than anything in the world. He told me that I was the most beautiful woman that he had ever seen.
He said he wanted to spend forever with me.
And God help me, I believed every last word of it.
TWENTY-TWO
If my mum can’t
see what an amazing man Aaron is, then there’s definitely something wrong with her.
That was the recurring thought in my head throughout the meal that Aaron had prepared for the four of us.
Aaron was on the full charm-offensive. I thought he was doing brilliantly with my mum, keeping the conversation light but engaging, drawing her into discussions such as how the heavy tourism in the town of St Ives affected her day to day life, and the role she played at her local church and WI.
She seemed to be warming to him, even allowing him to top up her glass of red wine, which surprised me because Mum was never usually much of a drinker.
I threw the occasional glance down at my left hand as we ate. I hadn’t worn my engagement ring because I wanted to tell her that we were engaged before she clapped eyes on the ring. As it was, I was just waiting for the right time to tell her. I hadn’t even told Linda over lunch as I wanted my mum to be the first to know, and only when my mum knew, would I tell Becky.
‘I’m not hungry,’ Becky said when she had eaten her fill of Aaron’s delicious meal of roast lamb with all the trimmings. ‘Can I have pudding and watch telly?’
‘You can have pudding when we’ve all finished our dinner, but you may go and watch telly if you like. I’ll bring it though in a bit.’
‘Ice cream?’ she asked hopefully.
‘We’ll see. Go and wash your hands in the bathroom before you watch telly.’
Becky sighed theatrically and made a big fuss of clambering off the bench, where she sat between me and Mum with Aaron opposite us. Aaron and I had made sure to leave the TV on the living-room so there was no need for any of us to leave the table while we were eating.
‘Well, Becky seems to be settling in well,’ Mum said when she was gone.
‘Yes, she is,’ I said quickly. ‘She’s happy here.’
‘Tomorrow we’re going to take her shopping for her bedroom,’ Aaron said. ‘She can decorate her room any way she wants.’
The Silenced Wife Page 16