by N. Alleman
I nod, smoothing down the hair on top of her head. I’m so tempted to kiss her right now, but even my fucked-up mind knows that would be taking advantage. So I settle for pulling her closer, inhaling her shampoo. Strawberries and cream. Fuck.
“It’ll be all right, baby,” I tell her calmly.
“How do you know?” she whimpers. “It wasn’t all right with my mom. What makes you think it will be okay with Dad? You really think he’ll get a new job, and we’ll be able to repay all our debts?”
She gives me a long, hard look, and I tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t know what will happen, and I can’t promise anything,” I tell her honestly. “But your dad is a good man, and you have my family and relatives who will help you whatever happens. You’re so very loved, Olive, both you and your dad. And we won’t let anything happen to you.”
A tear rolls off her cheek, and I swipe it away with my finger. Her skin is smooth and soft, and she feels so damn good. So right. Like I should have been doing this from the start.
She smiles up at me, the last remnants of fear and sadness finally fading from her gaze. Next thing I know, someone turns on all the lights in the room, and we hear voices in the changing rooms.
“Fuck,” I mutter under my breath, but I can’t help the smile that’s made its way on my lips.
“Someone’s here,” Olive hisses, and I grab her, pulling her against my body. Her body relaxes against mine. I’m sure she doesn’t mean to, but she rubs that tight little ass against the front of my jeans. If she doesn’t stop that right this instant, I’m going to throw her on the floor right here and fuck her senseless.
I cover her mouth with my hand and she whimpers, like she actually wants me to do more. God, she’s making me harder than ever.
I pull her away as the voices grow nearer to us. Thankfully, there’s a back exit, and that’s exactly where I’m headed. I don’t have a clue why there are people here in the middle of the night, but if coach finds me here with a girl, I’ll be in deep shit.
We rush for the back exit and run outside, laughing like crazy. Olive’s eyes sparkle in the moonlight and she smiles mischievously. Naughty little minx.
She comes closer to me and I grab her by the waist and pull her close. She doesn’t resist. She knows what’s about to happen.
But I don’t kiss her.
“Ever been kissed, Olive?” I whisper against her mouth instead.
She shakes her head no, lashes fluttering as she looks up at me expectantly. Her chest is heaving against mine. She wants me to kiss her so badly. So bad, she’d probably do whatever I asked of her right now.
“Do you want to be?” I taunt, and she nods her head. I raise a finger to her lips and trail it across her cheeks, her chin, pressing down on the center of her pouty mouth. “You want to be kissed here … and here, and here?”
“Please,” she whimpers. Oh God, we aren’t even kissing yet, and I’m about to erupt with wanting her. She is perfect.
“Kiss me, Axel.”
My hand snakes up to her neck and I pull her head back, exposing her throat to my hungry mouth. She’s begging, muttering words I don’t understand. She sounds so needy. So deliciously desperate for me.
My mouth lands on her neck and I suck on her skin, not caring whether she’ll have a hickey in the morning. And fuck, does she taste good. Sweet and all mine.
“On my mouth,” she manages to get out. “Kiss my mouth, Axel.”
I don’t need to be told twice. I rest a hand on the small of her back, and she gazes at me expectantly. I stare into those hungry, vulnerable eyes, committing this moment to memory so I can pull it out and enjoy it for years to come.
“Say please,” I order her.
“Please.” She shivers in my arms. “Kiss me, Axel. Please, I need—”
And then my mouth is on her. I don’t know what ideas she had about her first kiss. Probably something sweet, innocent and PG13.
I don’t do PG13, though. I’m fucking R-rated.
I claim her with my mouth, make her whimper against my lips. I don’t let her move an inch, because in this moment, she belongs to me, and I’m tasting the dessert I’ve been waiting on for years.
“Oh God,” she mumbles against my mouth, breathing heavily. “God, Axel …”
I shut her up by deepening our kiss, tasting her. “So sweet,” I growl against her lips. “You’re so sweet …”
“AXEL!”
The shout comes out of nowhere.
5
Olive
We spring apart right away. My heart is beating so fast I’m dizzy, and I struggle to stay on my feet. Inside I’m feeling a bit panicked, but I can’t stop smiling. When I look at Axel, he’s smiling too.
He takes my arm and runs for the door. I’m laughing now, having more fun than I’ve had in a year. Someone’s shouting, coming after us, but we’re too quick for them. We run down the street until we reach Axel’s bike, strap on our helmets, and zoom out of there.
The wind whips my hair back, and I shake as I hold on to Axel’s waist. God, that was intense. That kiss … that kiss was nothing a first kiss should be, and everything I’ve always dreamed of.
Unable to help myself, I nuzzle against Axel’s back. We can’t really talk while riding the bike, but I feel so close to him right now. Closer than I’ve felt since the day my mother died and he held me while I cried.
He pulls onto a busy street, and we get off the bike. All it takes is one look and we’re convulsing in giggles once again.
“That was absolutely crazy,” I gasp out, all the excitement leaving me short of breath.
Instead of replying, Axel grabs my hips and pulls me to him. He kisses me again, and once again, I allow myself to get lost in him.
This time the kiss is sweeter, gentler. He caresses my mouth with his lips. This kiss is a promise—to take care of me, to love me, to be there for me. All of that in a simple kiss? I must be losing my mind.
I step away, flushed. Everyday Olive would question this. Everyday Olive would ask questions, panic and beg for an explanation. But I’m not going to be everyday Olive tonight.
Tonight, I’m going to do what I’ve always wanted.
“Where are we?” I ask, looking around.
Axel stows our helmets away in the storage compartment under the seat of his bike. “I have no idea. I just pulled up here, figured we’d lose Coach easier if we blended in.”
“That was your coach?” I asked, concerned. “Won’t you get in trouble for being at the gym?”
Axel shrugs, cool as can be. God, he makes my insides melt, and that makes me nervous.
“I’ll deal with it tomorrow. Tonight, I’m all yours, Olive.”
He leads me toward the entrance of the building everyone’s standing in front of.
There’s a huge line outside and people queuing to get in. Loud music blares from inside and we exchange excited looks.
“Looks like a concert,” Axel says. “What do you say, Olive? Want to crash this party?”
“We’re not twenty-one,” I hiss at him quietly, glancing around to make sure no one heard me. The bouncer is already giving us a sideways glance, and I really don’t want to get in any more trouble.
“We’ll find a back exit,” Axel says with a wink. “We’re pretty good at that, aren’t we?”
I laugh and shake my head, but he’s already moving me away from the crowd. We end up in a deserted side alley, and before I know it, Axel presses me against a brick wall. His gaze is intense and his hands rest firmly on my hips.
His eyes are so dark, I can barely make out the pupils. He reminds me of a predator right now, like he’s about to bite into my skin and taste my flesh. And I think I wouldn’t mind that, not one little bit.
“You’re so beautiful,” he says softly against my neck. His nose touches my skin, and I realize he’s smelling me. It feels weird, but it’s also turning me on. I’ve never felt this way before, and when I feel my panties getting wet, I pan
ic. I try to push him off, but Axel grabs my wrists and pins them above my head.
A small gasp escapes my lips. “Axel …”
I give him a desperate look, but he only bares his teeth at me.
“Please.”
“Please what, baby?” he coos.
“Please …” My eyes are darting across his face. Even I don’t know what I’m asking him for. “Please kiss me again.”
His lips trace a pattern along my collarbone and I gasp, louder this time. “And what else?” he taunts me.
I’m wriggling under his touch, unsure whether I want to break free or get closer.
“God, Axel,” I moan.
He’s pushing me. I don’t recognize my own voice anymore, the words leaving my lips as alien as my throaty tone. “Please, touch me. Touch me everywhere.”
He releases my wrists, but gives me a warning. “Keep your hands up. Don’t you dare fucking move them.”
I nod, feeling dizzier than ever.
He grabs the small of my back with one hand and presses me against the wall gently. His other hand lingers at my throat, gently stroking my skin. “Arch,” he orders me, and I give him a lusty look. “Arch your back, baby.”
I don’t mean to, but my body is acting of its own accord. My back arches, pushing my body into his hands. His hand roams down, across my décolletage and finally down the middle of my breasts. He’s not touching them, but God, it feels good. He stops when he reaches the waist of my skirt. I’m fully clothed, yet I’ve never felt more naked in my entire life.
Axel looks into my eyes for permission. I don’t know what he wants to do with my yes, but I’m already nodding. And then his hand reaches my thigh and I’m burning, burning, burning.
“Fuck,” I mewl.
“Nice skirt,” he smirks at me.
I’m wearing a pleated skirt that I might’ve outgrown last summer. I thought it looked fine at home, but now it feels scandalously short.
“I remember when this was down to your knees,” Axel whispers into my ear, sending shivers down my spine. And then his hand is on the inside of my thigh, and he’s pressing my legs apart. “Can you open your legs for me, baby?”
My eyelids flutter shut as I obey. Oh my God, this can’t be happening. He’s going to touch me in places even I haven’t explored, right here on the street. But if he doesn’t do it soon, I’m going to beg him to. I don’t know how far I can go, or if I’ll even be able to stay in control.
His hand reaches up higher on my thigh, then his other hand joins it. I spread my legs for him, needing his touch, wanting him, not sure what he’s going to do, but knowing I want him to do it. Am I going to lose my virginity in an alley like this?
“More, baby. Open more.” Axel’s lips brush against my earlobe as he bites down. I hurry to obey. It’s not enough for him. His hands slide up the inside of my thighs to my hips, pulling my skirt up over my waist. My panties are completely exposed, and I blush furiously, wondering if he can see the wet spot.
His eyes aren’t on mine anymore so I fear he probably can. Oh God. His hands slide back down to my thighs, pushing them as far apart as they can go. I close my eyes in embarrassment. I was so mean to Axel earlier, and now we were here, doing what I’ve daydreamed about, and I couldn’t open up like he asked me to …
“Axel—,” I begin.
“Shh,” he quiets me, lightly squeezing my neck. I shut up immediately. His hand slips from my neck down my chest, tracing my stomach as he gets closer to my burning core.
A crashing sound pulls us apart. My hand reaches out to his chest immediately, feeling the hard muscles there. I bite my lip. Someone’s coming.
I try to push him away, but it’s like the risk of seeing us only excites Axel more, and as he pulls me to him. I feel something hard against my thigh, something I’ve never felt before.
He doesn’t try anything, though, and to my dismay he pulls down my skirt. I bury my head in the nook of his shoulder, breathing heavy.
I want to talk, but I don’t know what to say.
We wait a few minutes, and I wonder if he can feel me trembling in his arms?
“No one here,” he says, kissing the top of my head. We search for the source of the sound, but the light is dim. There’s a figure, though, boxy and …
His hand touches my cheek, and I swear I never learned how to stand. “Looks like a shipment crate fell.” He laughs wickedly. I look around. Whatever band’s in there must be storing some extra equipment in the alley. He tilts my chin and gives me a short kiss. My mouth tingles. “Let’s crash this place.”
There’s a dark door almost disguised by the color of the wall surrounding it. Eventually, we find it, with Axel leading the way. I swear, I would follow him anywhere. He turns to me with a smirk, his hand on the knob as he looks at me. My legs go weak, remembering his touch. His eyes are filled with lust and mischief.
“We’re not actually breaking in here, right?” It sounds lame the minute I say it, and I feel like a baby, but I can’t help it. I wanted—want—to do this, but now that we’re doing it, it seems so bad.
So deliciously Axel.
He raises an eyebrow at me and pulls his hand away from the knob, pretending to care what he’s doing. I tilt my head at him questioningly, knowing full well he’s only trying to humor me. He cocks his head back, which makes him even more incredibly handsome than usual.
He nods at the door. “Are you doing the honors, or am I?”
I mumble something, and Axel proceeds to pick the lock.
Soon we were inside, and I stay glued to him. We were in the middle of a concert—some kind of rock band, mixed with club music. Nothing I listen to, but Axel seems like he’s in his element. His hand stays on the small of my back.
He’ll keep me safe.
I know he will.
I don’t know why I ever ignored him. I’m such an idiot. I hope he forgives me.
“Something on your mind?” He turns to me. We’re still walking deeper into whatever this place is. I think it doubles as a club and a music venue. Some places do that, I think. I wouldn’t know. But as we go, he’s only focused on me. And on making sure no bouncer sees us. Axel might be able to pass for older, but I can definitely only pass for a seventeen-year-old girl.
“I’m worried about us,” I whimper. I hope he doesn’t think that sounds as pathetic as I do. We aren’t even anything, yet, even though he touched me, as much as I want him to want me half as much as I’ve always wanted him.
I didn’t even notice we stopped. His hand is rough on my arm, but not in a way that hurts me. Axel would never hurt me. I trust him.
“Don’t be.” His voice is softer than I’ve ever heard it. Then his arm drops from mine and he’s back to his old self. He nods to our far left, and I notice a stand full of food and liquor? “I’m getting us drinks.”
I’ve never drank alcohol before.
I’m alone. I watch his retreating back, wishing his arms were around me instead of swinging at his sides as he goes on a quest for alcohol.
A light touch on my arm, the other arm, the arm not still burning from where Axel touched me, catches my attention. I look up to see a tall man smiling down at me. I think he might’ve said hey, or something, but it’s so loud, and my thoughts are on Axel.
He’s not bad-looking, but he’s not Axel. I nod at him, hoping he’ll go away, but he doesn’t.
Instead, he lifts me into his arms and carries me on stage. OMG, he’s the singer! My ears rumble with the sound of the band introducing me as they fade out. I don’t even know how this happened.
The group disbands, but I can see the crowd below hasn’t. The front row is full of people grinning, their white teeth glowing in the black light, making me think of sharks. I imagine their eyes full of malice, and suddenly I’m scared. I’m back on my feet, my arm being raised in the air. Entwined with this guy’s.
Where is Axel?
There! He rises out of the crowd and jumps on the stage. He doesn’t make a sc
ene. Instead, he takes my other arm and raises his fist in the air with me. I finally notice the other band members, and I start to feel safe again.
“Who’s this?” The singer stares at Axel. “Your boyfriend?”
Neither of us answers. Our arms fall, but Axel’s hand is still wrapped around mine, and he squeezes it comfortingly. The other band members laugh, saying something about groupies and girls who never stay in relationships once they get to music venues. They’re talking, but my attention is on Axel. Until I notice the man staring back at me.
“I think we’re leaving, actually,” Axel says possessively.
He drags me alongside him, and we beat feet out of there.
6
Axel
Another man hitting on my girl? Not gonna fucking happen.
My fist clenches, and I wish I could take out my frustrations on that asshole.
Thinking he can just pick Olive up and take her anywhere he damn well pleases. I dropped our drinks running to her. What I wanted to do was dropkick that dickhead singer.
Olive probably suspects I’m pissed.
“Axel, wait!” she calls as I drag her out of that shitty club. It wasn’t even a good concert. I should never have suggested we go.
I ignore her. Not to be a prick, but this isn’t a good time for my baby to assert herself.
Out on the sidewalk, my arm slides off my baby girl’s shoulders, and I take her hand again. The night is young and even though that place was fuckin’ packed, the streets are empty.
“Axel.” She rises on her tiptoes to meet my eyes. “What was that about?”
Her tone is shrill, and I bristle.
Wait a fucking second. Is she mad at me?
“I’m not going to apologize for that.”
She drops my hand, and I feign indifference even as my chest tightens.
I’m going to lose her again. And suddenly what had become the best day, is looking like the worst again.
But that doesn’t happen.