by N. Alleman
Olive presses her body against mine for a moment, but then she pulls herself away from me and we’re only connected by fingertips. A pen is shoved roughly in my other hand as a high-pitched voice requests I scrawl my name on their shirt.
Axel Reign.
Done.
Pen in hand, I sign my name on notepads, clothing, skin, and maybe a camera or two. I don’t keep track. My mind is on Olive. Finally, I hand the pen to a young lady and go to Olive, needing her more than I need the attention of some groupies and a few reporters.
“Mr. Reign! Is this your wife?” One voice screams over the sound of the rumbling people. The area was quiet and serene a few minutes ago, but it got loud during the fight and it’s only gotten progressively louder. I nod, ignoring the technicalities of the statement. She’s my girl, even if she doesn’t know it yet, but the way her hand squeezes against mine tells me she does.
I’d love nothing more than to have Olive as my wife.
But we’re not there yet.
Taking Olive’s hand in mine we move back in the direction I’m pretty sure I came from. She giggles, stopping me.
“My room’s this way,” she says, grabbing the sleeve of my shirt and pulling me back to our cabin.
The room looks the same as it did before, still smells of freshly cut apples and unpacked luggage. I guess she took our clothes out when I was hunting for Jason.
Selena and Lark are missing from the room. Guess the blonde took my little girl out to explore the ship. Perfect timing.
I kiss Olive on the forehead, hoping she’ll know I noticed. Either way, I’m not going to ask. She leans her head against my chest and that’s all that matters.
“Axel,” she says.
“Shut up,” I tell her. I have to quit being so fucking soft. I wonder if she’ll still like me as much, as mushy as I’ve been around her. But I’m not in the mood for mush now. I grab her by the waist and draw her to me.
I’m so much stronger than she is, but she doesn’t fight me. She never has.
We are meant to be together.
I touch my lips to hers. She presses a hand behind my head pulling me closer. I shower her in rough, wet kisses, tugging at her shirt and lifting it over her head.
“Wait,” she says, tugging at the hem of mine.
I stop immediately.
“I can’t, Axel. It’s too much, too soon. We have to talk. You’re being too pushy,” she admits brokenly.
It hurts so fucking much to hear her say that. I try to speak, but I can’t.
“Later,” she says, kissing me lightly one more time. “I promise.”
And then she’s out of the room, saying she has to find Selena and Lark, check up on her little girl. And I’m sitting in here, thinking about the kid that might just be mine.
I’m not sure what being a father feels like, but I think I it may be exactly the way I’m feeling about Lark.
Later doesn’t come that night. And I’m not even mad when Olive leans her head on my shoulder, and tells me how sleepy she is.
“Me too,” I say, and refrain from kissing her again. I press my fingers in her hair, pulling at it lightly so it rises from her scalp and she moans. “Let’s go outside.”
She nods, her eyes half-lidded and I wonder if she’s actually too tired to.
No, I think it’s because Lark is in here.
That’s why we can’t be intimate.
I knock on the door to the adjoining room, and Selena opens it. “Can you watch Lark?” I ask.
She nods and comes inside our room. Lark’s sleeping peacefully on her cot, so Selena won’t have a lot of work on her hands.
I lead Olive outside, until we’re at the door leading to the deck.
Using both hands, I shove open the door and let Olive go out first then I follow her onto the deck. It’s dark out now, darker than expected. The stars are so big and bright here, not like I’ve ever seen them in the city.
Water surrounds us, and the way the stars lights reflects off it gives the night a magical feel. The peaceful lapping of the waves against the boat makes up a thumping rhythm that makes me want to take Olive into my arms and dance with her.
We’re just outside Olive’s room, which is almost at the top of the ship. The ship has several floors, but only the captain’s quarters are above us. No one is allowed up there.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” I nudge her with my shoulder, nodding in the direction of the captain’s quarters. There’s a ladder leading up there with rails to hold onto to make sure we don’t fall in case we hit a particularly bad wave.
But I’m not concerned about me. Only about her.
“You know it,” she says, that grin of hers I haven’t seen in so long spreading across her face. Olive has always been nerdy, the good girl, but there’s a streak of wildness in her, and I long to bring it to the surface. I just hope she gives me the chance. “It’s been ages since I did something naughty.”
Without giving her fair warning, I start running across the deck, avoiding the sun chairs other tourists have left lounging about, and I hear her high-pitched “Hey!” scream at the injustice. It makes my sides ache, and I almost lose my advantage.
Almost.
My hand hits the ladder first, and I drag it all the way down so the bottom rung hits the deck and we’ll be able to climb with stability. I long to rush up it, feel the sea breeze on my face as the wind wafts against my skin. But I duck my head and move aside. “Ladies first.”
She hits me in the stomach, lightly, mumbling something about not being a lady.
She couldn’t be more wrong.
She leans her back against the railing, holding her weight up with her arms just enough so she’s shaking from the exertion of it. I laugh, moving toward her, and grab her arms so that her body is leaning up against the rails. I hold her arms on either side of her so she won’t fall. I’ll keep her safe.
“It’s been so long,” she says.
I nuzzle my mouth against her skin, moving my face down so my lips rest against her throat. She arches her neck so her skin is easier for me to reach. I stop kissing her. I want her now, but I want her to ache for it. For me.
I want her to beg. My hand caresses her small curves through the fabric of her clothes, and I exhale into the night air. “I looked for you for so long, Olive.”
“So much has changed.” She pulls herself away from me and finds a seat leaning up against the captain’s office. She sticks her legs out in front of her, and I do the same. I sit there, listening, as she tells me everything, about my family moving and helping her family, which they’d told me. I was so desperate to see her and tell her she could live with me, but she refused to even come to the door.
I take her in my arms. She keeps talking, her words muffled by her mouth against my shirt. I can still hear her, her voice breaking.
“My father died two years ago,” she says. “I had just turned nineteen. You weren’t there. I didn’t have anyone.”
This is like a knife to my gut. I feel horrible.
I tell her everything about the contract, and she sits there, nodding. I feel her tears start to subside. I run a hand through her hair, needing to comfort her. She holds my hand against her chest. Now isn’t the time, but I want her and my hand on her breast isn’t doing much to stop that … I squeeze.
She gasps, shaking her head. “Wait, I need to tell you,” she whispers, her voice shaky. I move another hand to her chest, feeling both her breasts and squeezing them, pulling the fabric up and moving her bra aside so I can tweak her nipples while she trembles against me.
“Lark’s yours,” she finally blurts out.
Now I know. But I’ve known all along.
I move my body, adjusting myself so I’m on top of her, my knee between her legs as I push them apart for me. Then pushing aside her panties, I press two fingers into her.
“Olive.” I kiss her, needing to comfort her with touch not words. “Don’t talk.”
She whimpers
when I touch her, whispering my name.
I should be angry she neglected to tell me I was a father, but all I can muster up is love for this woman. She was only a girl when she carried my baby, carried and raised my child all by herself. And I’ll never fucking forgive myself for leaving her when she needed me most.
“I signed that goddamned contract,” I tell her. “I never would have left had I known you’d gotten pregnant. I tried so damn hard to get you back, Olive.”
“I know,” she whispers, then moans as I move my fingers in and out of her pussy.
“You’re so wet, Olive,” I groan. “So fucking wet for me, still, after all these years.”
A shrill scream interrupts us, and we spring apart, my fingers leaving her pussy even though I’m desperate to push something bigger inside her.
We rush toward the sound of the voice only to find Selena sprawled on the floor.
“Fuck.” She grins through her pain. “Caught red handed.”
“Selena!” Olive says with horror in her voice, crouching next to her on the floor. “Are you okay? What the hell are you doing?”
“Spying on you. Don’t worry, Lark’s safe and sound in bed. I only left for a moment,” her friend admits, wincing when Olive touches her ankle. “Fuck, I think I sprained something.”
I’m half tempted to tell her it serves her right for following us around, but I just sigh and pick her up from the floor. “Come on, you big baby,” I tell her. “Let’s go to the nurse.”
Olive follows behind us, shaking her head but smiling.
15
Olive
The time on the cruise is going by too quickly. I long to be with Axel the entire time we’re on the ship. We hadn’t seen much of Becky or Jason, and I’ve almost forgotten about them, which is the magic of a vacation I guess.
Things are wonderful, but also frustrating. I feel Axel’s hands roam across my body a few times, but he never does anything else. I’m looking forward to the chance to be alone with him, but it never seems to come.
Today we’re in Greece. The villa in front of me is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. It’s huge and white, towering over the seaside, purple bougainvillea cascading over the walls. Footprints dot the sands of the beach keeping track of this memory so I don’t have to. I want to take a picture though, so I drop my daughter’s hand and rummage deep in my bag for the phone.
But Axel stops me.
“I’ve got it,” he says taking my bag from me and fishing out my phone. I don’t know why I put it in the bottom of the bag in the first place, it was obviously a horrible idea. I worry Axel thinks I’m silly for it, so I blush like I’m an anxious seventeen-year-old again.
He just smiles at me. I motion for my bag back, but he just shakes his head with that telltale smirk and then throws it over his shoulder with all the other bags he’s carrying. He insists on doing things for me. I don’t know why I ever refused to see him.
I should have answered his calls. He would have seen me, and he would have been there for Lark’s birth, and we would have been together all this time.
We’re together now, though, and that’s all that matters.
“Say cheese.” He laughs, holding the phone up to take a picture of me. I motion for him to wait with one finger then lift Lark into my arms so she’s in the image, too.
Then it’s ruined when Selena jumps in the way, giggling. She’s the worst about photo bombing. Ugh. But she’s been a good sport on this trip helping with Lark, and she did bring Axel so I try not to appear too peeved.
Axel shows us the photo, all blurry smiling faces. I’m going to keep it anyway. I just wish Axel was in it, instead of hiding behind the camera.
“Hey,” I start to say.
“Race you in,” Axel says first, and I take the challenge like I did when we were kids before we were lovers. I release Lark’s hand so she can run in the sand with me. Selena tries to keep up, but her crutches prevent it and she trails behind in last place.
Axel gets there first, even with all the bags he’s carrying.
Damn that man.
I just want to stare at him, and tell him I’m never going to let him go. He’s staring back and the world is silent. The moment is perfect.
“I call first room! And no one gets to complain,” Selena calls, gesturing to her leg with a hand. “Crippled and all, you know.”
Lark pipes up and says she wants to stay with Auntie Selena. I’m about to ask if that’s okay with her when my best friend just gives me this knowing look and pats Lark on the head.
“Are you sure you can manage her?” I’d love to spend the extra time with Axel, but I’m worried about Selena being able to chase Lark around on crutches.
“I’ve got her.” Selena winks. “Just make sure you bring my bags to my room.”
“Will do,” Axel says, wrapping his hand around mine and giving it a squeeze. I squeeze back, then Axel nudges Selena gently with his shoulder. “Now go.”
She starts off, but doesn’t get far before Lark tugs on her loose sleeve. Selena leans down, and I smile as I see them whispering in each other’s ears. Lark gives me a look and stops talking, telling me it’s a secret. I look away, but I’m still listening.
“We’ll play later, Lark,” Selena says. “Just give these two some time.”
They both erupt in a fit of giggles, and Lark tells us we have an hour. Axel and I agree.
The sun is high in the sky and the world is as beautiful as I’ve ever seen it. I look forward to swimming with everyone later. Lark doesn’t want me to know that’s what she intends, but I know how much she loves the water. We’ll try to find her some floaties, or Axel can teach her how to swim. He’s always been better at it than I have.
I sigh. I’m not sure if it’s where I am that’s so beautiful, or who I’m with, but it’s being around Axel that’s making me so happy.
He’s dropped all the bags and holds my hands in his leading us out onto the beach. Towering above me, so strong and masculine, he’s so handsome and I tell him that.
“I know.” He smirks and tilts my chin to make me look at him. His eyes are just so intense. Searching.
For what, I don’t know.
But in this moment, I just need to kiss him.
I rise up on my tiptoes, but he places his hands on my hips and picks me up. Wrapping my legs around him, we kiss and I cling to him as if my life depended on it. He lowers us onto the sand, and before I know it it’s in our hair, covering our skin. It’s a mess, and I don’t care, because for the first time in years, everything is right again.
After a delightfully dirty make out session, Axel implores upon me to go inside and get settled in our room.
“So,” he says, kissing the tip of my nose. “You think you can handle sharing a room with me? Are you ready for it?”
“Never readier,” I respond, and soon I’m pushing open the door to our room. “It’s lovely.”
“Not as gorgeous as you,” Axel says with a laugh. “But yeah, it’s nice.”
I’m laughing out loud again. I can’t help it.
We have a huge bed, adorned in luxurious white sheets. It has four poles with a fancy canopy above it. The windows stretch from floor to ceiling, and I just know the light will be perfect to see each other by in the early morning. In one corner of the room there’s a door that leads to the beach, perfect for midnight strolls by the water.
I wonder what it would be like if he took me on the beach …
At the same time we realize we’ve both been eyeing the bed. It’s so perfect and untouched. Axel and I haven’t been together in so long. We collapse into each other again, our hands roaming each other’s bodies like we’d wanted to on the beach, but refrained. Our clothing falls to the floor, and we surrender ourselves in wet kisses, climbing onto the bed.
“Mhm,” he growls, touching me. He pauses, his hand on my chest. “Are you going to tell Lark?”
“Yes,” I mumble against his lips, pulling him back to m
e. We’re kissing again, his touch no longer uncertain; my answer solidifying what should have been obvious:
I am his.
Our future is together.
I feel his skin caress mine as he moves on top of me. My breath catches at how amazing it feels to be so close to him. Drinking him in, I run my hands over his muscles as I part my legs for him.
“I love you.” He stops kissing me to say what we both already know. I close my eyes, my hand moving to his lower back as I pull him closer to me, needing him now.
“I love you, too.” The words leave my lips softly as his manhood pushes into me, and we become one.
Before, when I thought we would never be right for each other, I’d been so very wrong.
16
Axel
My phone buzzes in my pocket again, and I forget why I always bring that shit with me. It’s annoying, even on “vibrate.” I glance over at Lark and Olive.
It’s work.
Fuck.
Coach keeps bugging me, telling me I need to get the fuck back to the ring where I belong. But this is where I belong.
Olive and Lark hold their arms out trying to balance on the logs they’re walking on. This beach is clear and beautiful, even with some washed up debris. They’re smiling and happy, and that’s all that matters.
I unlock my phone and glance over the texts briefly. Seven missed calls. I ignore them all. I have a match coming up, apparently. But I always have a match coming up. I don’t care.
“Axel!” A little voice calls to me.
I put my phone back in my shorts—I should have left it in the villa—and look up to see my precious daughter smiling at me. She’s about to jump down from the log she’s on. It’s only a few feet up, but she’s so small I worry she’s going to hurt herself.
So I jog across the sand and open my arms to catch her as she jumps to me. I catch her, and she giggles some more.