Jessie sat in the front pew with Marion, who took Heather from her. ‘She can sit on my lap.’
Heather stretched out her arms to Jessie. ‘Gamma!’
‘She might need her bottle, Marion; I have it wrapped to keep it warm, in my bag . . .’
As Joshua, in his plain flowing robes, waited with the groom and best man for the bride and Doc to come down the aisle, they sang the inspiring hymn ‘Jerusalem’. They might have been small in number, but this was something they all knew and loved, and they did it justice.
The bride’s small hands were cold and almost numb, so Doc took them in his own large ones and rubbed them to warm them. Kathleen gave him a grateful look. Am I really standing here, she thought, about to make solemn vows? She felt a surge of joy within herself. How fortunate I am!
Sam looked down on her from his considerable height. He was clean-shaven again, after growing a beard for winter, and it made him look younger. He knew she didn’t like the beard, and although she had never divulged why, he could guess.
The ceremony began; it was a simple service, but with meaningful words. Kathleen’s mother’s ring went back onto her finger, and this time she was entitled to wear it. They made their solemn promises and were pronounced man and wife. There were prayers, a short homily from the minister, then the harmonium swelled again and they sang the 23rd Psalm, followed by the final hymn, ‘O Blessed Home Where Man and Wife’.
No bells, but the bridegroom put the warm cape back round the bride’s shoulders, then they filed out of the chapel and there were hugs and congratulations for all concerned. Min and her husband waved goodbye until they had driven out of sight.
‘I didn’t kiss you properly when the minister said, “Now you may kiss the bride”,’ Sam whispered ruefully to Kathleen.
Jessie overheard, and told them, ‘Well why not do it now!’ As they obliged, a cheer went up from the others.
‘I love you,’ Sam murmured.
‘I’m so happy,’ Kathleen replied.
‘You’re crying again,’ he said. ‘Here, take my handkerchief, have a good blow.’
Marion said to Danny, ‘I know you can’t kiss me at the moment as you are holding the reins, but I shall expect you to do the same for me the minute we arrive at the farm!’
‘You’re not using my best handkerchief!’ he teased.
Back at the farm, Ollie the pup was wondering where his family had disappeared to, while old Bob was snoozing as usual by the living room fire. Ollie crept over and insinuated himself between the big dog’s splayed front paws, then rolled over submissively. Bob opened one eye and put one paw firmly over the pup’s tummy to keep him in his place.
*
The wedding celebration was followed by the three birthdays in January, when Kathleen and Sam made their announcement, only to learn that the family had already guessed their secret.
Three months later, in March, Sam, having just finished reading the newspaper, was about to roll it up to use for lighting the fire when Kathleen snatched it from his hands. ‘Why can’t I know what’s going on in the world?’ she cried. ‘If it’s not suitable for my eyes, you shouldn’t read it either!’
There had been no news about the mystery in Croydon since the coroner gave his verdict on the woman found dead at the house. Sam capitulated. ‘Well, there’s no good news, and I’m not sure you should be reading about the suffragettes, who are causing a great deal of trouble, or the bootmakers striking and marching in protest on Parliament – but go on, read it if you must.’
‘I can’t do much else except look after Heather and the dog and cook your meals.’ She was still ruffled. ‘Look how big I am for five months gone – very different to last time. I feel frustrated at not doing my bit, Sam.’
He looked at her pale face and her swollen belly, and said gently, ‘I know it’s my fault; perhaps it’s too soon for you to have another baby after Heather – I should have waited until you were ready.’
‘I am ready!’ she sobbed. ‘I needed to be loved and you have loved me and made me happy again . . . Still, the next few months seem like forever.’
‘Well at least you’ll have the paper to read every day now!’ He smiled at her, and she smiled back. ‘Don’t go on strike like the bootmakers, will you?’
‘I’ll try not to!’ she said, thinking how inspiring Emmeline Pankhurst was: Votes for Women – yes! She wondered what Jessie thought about that. Kathleen missed her so much now that she didn’t see her every day – and the farmhouse, which she still thought of as home. She wouldn’t be working in the strawberry fields this summer, nor helping Danny in the stables. Marion had taken her place.
*
By April, with three months still to go, Kathleen already felt very uncomfortable, for she had put on more weight this time, and her ankles were swollen. She hoped they wouldn’t have a heatwave in the summer.
Sam tried to cheer her up. ‘I’m going to fence off a piece of land at the back of the barn, which will eventually be the garden belonging to the house. Now that it’s better weather, you and Heather need to be outside in the fresh air.’
Kathleen sighed. ‘How can I keep her amused out there?’
‘I’m thinking of making a seesaw and a swing, as there are two trees I can fix that between,’ Sam replied. ‘It will be a safe place away from the brickyard, away from the dust and bricks being fired. I’ve cut some chestnut spiles ready to attach to stout poles. The wood really is our most valuable asset, eh?’
When he mentioned the house, Kathleen realised there had been no bricks added to it since she had come to live there. I shouldn’t be grumbling, she thought, but I feel so lonely during the day while Sam is busy trying to make a living here. I miss Jessie and Danny – even Marion, who is proving to be nicer than I imagined. I miss the horses at the farm . . . If I didn’t have my little Heather, I’d be even lonelier.
‘You’re in a reverie.’ Sam kissed the top of her head. ‘Did you hear what I said about making you a garden? I’ll buy you a parasol and you’ll be a lady of leisure.’
‘Thank you, dear Sam. I’m sorry I’m crotchety, it’s just that . . .’
‘I know, but it’s not long till July now, is it? Then maybe we’ll have our pigeon pair – a girl and a boy.’
‘It could be another girl. Would you mind?’
‘If it is, can we call her Kathleen after you? Or Kitty, maybe?’ He watched for a reaction.
He was surprised when she said, ‘Oh, my dada called me Kitty so that would be perfect in memory of him. And if it’s a little boy, he can be Sam after you!’
‘You deserve another hug for that,’ he told her, ‘but then I must get back to work.’
*
It was the start of a long, hot, dry summer. Tatsfield school was closed for much of April and May due to an epidemic of whooping cough. Jessie warned Kathleen that it wouldn’t be wise to make her usual visits with Heather, as both of them would be vulnerable to the distressing illness. ‘One whoop from an affected child, even if you are some distance away, is likely to infect you.’ Kathleen understood, but she missed the family at the farm.
One afternoon in June, Kathleen was sitting in a basket chair with a footrest under a leafy tree in the garden. Nearby, little Heather called out as she tried to swing herself while fastened into the special seat that Sam had made her. ‘Mumma! My want you push!’
Kathleen rose with difficulty and went over to the swing. There were delighted cries from the toddler as she swung back and forth. At that moment, Kathleen became aware that visitors were coming through the garden gate. Sam was with them in his long apron and heavy gloves. He lifted Heather from the swing and turned to Jessie, Marion and Doc behind him, who had arrived in the buggy. Kathleen was fretting already. ‘It’s lovely to see you, I must make a pot of tea – Sam, what about more chairs?’
Sam looked at his mother and shook his head, but he was smiling. ‘Sit down, do, Kathleen, and I’ll bring out that jug of lemonade you made
this morning – it’s just the afternoon for a cold drink, eh? A couple of rugs will be all right to sit on, won’t they?’
‘I’ll help you,’ Doc said. ‘The ladies will want to chat, I think.’
Jessie embraced her daughter-in-law. ‘You look well, Kathleen. The garden is coming along, isn’t it? We brought some pots and plants in the buggy, and if you have a trowel, Marion and I will put them in the border.’ Ollie, excited at the arrival of the visitors, jumped up at Jessie, and his claws caught in her skirt. ‘Down!’ she scolded him as she disentangled herself. ‘Let me give my granddaughter a kiss first. I’m glad to see she is wearing a sun bonnet, Kathleen, and you . . .’
‘The donkey’s old straw hat,’ Kathleen said ruefully.
Jessie wore a fetching new muslin gown, and Kathleen saw that she had released her pretty hair from its usual severe knot at the nape of her neck and tied it back with a blue ribbon. She didn’t appear matronly today.
‘You both look so smart,’ Kathleen said to Jessie and Marion.
Marion was walking over to the swing, Heather holding her hand. She turned and said, ‘I was sweltering in my breeches today. Danny likes me in skirts; he is looking forward to watching me pick the strawberries! He says I shouldn’t hide my shapely ankles.’
The rugs arrived and were spread under the shade of the trees. As Jessie sat down beside Kathleen, she asked, ‘Not long now, is it?’
‘Still a month to go. By then you’ll be busy with the strawberries.’
‘My dear, you’re more important than those. You’ll come over to the farm to have the new baby won’t you? Sam has promised to help with the strawberries, and he and Danny can do my job; it will be the usual workforce and they don’t need much supervision. I can spoil my little Heather too, can’t I? And after the baby arrives, Daisy, my help, can look after you. She’s very competent.’
‘But will you have room for us?’
‘You and Sam can have my room, and I will share with Heather. Abraham will be around too in an emergency, and dear Nurse Buss is looking forward to the event.’
Abraham? Kathleen thought. We only ever call him Doc.
Sam hadn’t yet returned with the lemonade, and Marion was out of earshot. Kathleen bent towards Jessie. ‘I wish we still lived at Home Farm with you,’ she said quietly. ‘Oh, I know it’s not possible now, and Sam has made the barn comfortable, but until the house is finished – if it ever is – I feel so cut off from you. The farm will always be home to me.’
Jessie reached up and squeezed her hand. ‘I used to say to Sam that this wasn’t somewhere I could live – in the middle of a wood – so I know how you must feel. But you are happy with him, aren’t you?’
‘He’s the love of my life, you must know that.’ Kathleen’s lips trembled and she brushed away a stray tear.
‘I do know it, but you should tell him what you have told me. You are always welcome to be with us, but it’s not for me to say . . . Oh, here they come; mind you are smiling when they see you.’
*
After the visitors had departed, Kathleen looked in dismay at the chocolate stains on the front of Heather’s dress. ‘I wish Marion wouldn’t give her sweets without asking me first, Sam.’
‘She enjoys spoiling her. I expect she’d like a baby of her own, but she is very involved in the stables now. Doc told me she is entering Red Ruby and Grasshopper in a horse show later this month.’
I could have done that, Kathleen thought, if . . . She glanced down at her baby bulge and burst into tears. Heather looked at her in bewilderment and began to cry herself.
‘You girls!’ Sam said helplessly. Then he grinned. ‘I’ll get Heather to bed, and you put your feet up, Kathleen. It’ll all come out in the wash.’
‘I don’t think the chocolate marks will,’ said Kathleen, smiling now. ‘You always know how to get round me, Sam.’
THIRTEEN
‘I’m taking you to the farm today,’ Sam told Kathleen as she lay in bed, drowsy after a restless night spent suffering intermittent pains.
‘I feel much better this morning,’ she said defensively. ‘The baby isn’t due until the end of the month, Sam. Anyway, I’m not ready to go, nothing is packed.’
‘I can do that, and you know Mother, she is all prepared for the baby’s arrival.’
Just then her face screwed up and she clutched at the covers. ‘Sam, help me!’
When the spasm ceased, he lifted her from the bed and wrapped her in the top blanket. ‘We’ll have to go right away. I think Heather is awake, but we can’t wait to dress her. I’ll put a blanket round her and you must mind her while I bring the buggy round – it was good that Doc said we could borrow it in case of an emergency, eh? I’ll be as quick as I can!’
It was already warm, very different, he thought, from the day young Heather had been born. This is the first time for me, he realised, but my second child is on the way . . .
*
Doc, Danny and Marion had just arrived back for breakfast after the early morning stable duties and milking had been done. It was Doc who opened the door and held out his arms for Heather, who was clinging to her mother. ‘You go on up to Jessie’s room, it’s all ready for you. She’s been sleeping in Heather’s bedroom. I’ll take Heather into the kitchen and they’ll look after her there, don’t worry. Then Jessie will come upstairs with me and we’ll see what’s what.’
The bed was all prepared for the birth. Sam laid his wife gently down and covered her with the sheet.
Jessie came bustling in. ‘My dear, don’t worry about a thing – young Daisy will cope downstairs, and Marion is looking after Heather. Danny is going to fetch the nurse, and Doc is cleaning himself up and will then come and see how things are progressing.’
‘The baby isn’t due for three weeks,’ Kathleen said faintly.
‘Well, Heather was early too, wasn’t she? So don’t worry.’
‘I ought to fetch her things,’ Sam remembered.
‘Not now, Sam, there might not be time. You need to be here with Kathleen now.’
Doc leaned over the bed; he smelled of soap and his hands were red from scrubbing.
Sam stepped back next to Jessie. Doc finished his brief examination and then smiled at Kathleen. ‘Everything is going well. Did you realise that your waters have broken? Sam, hold her hand and rub her back when the pains come. I’ll go and wait for the nurse; she won’t want me interfering unless it’s necessary.’
‘I must see that Marion is giving Heather breakfast and remind her no sweets until afterwards,’ Jessie said.
For a few precious moments, Sam and Kathleen were alone. ‘I love you, Kathleen,’ he whispered. ‘I can’t bear to see you suffer.’
She managed a smile. ‘It will soon be over,’ she said, hoping this was true. ‘Sam, I know I’ve been fractious, but I couldn’t help it—’ She gave a sudden gasp.
‘What is it?’ he asked anxiously.
‘Time for you to . . . rub my back . . . Don’t go . . .’
‘I’m not going,’ he assured her. ‘I will always be here for you, my darling, I promise.’ He thought of her as that, but it was the first time he’d said it aloud.
‘I wish you had been with me last time,’ she managed.
‘But I was, Kathleen, I was! At the bottom of the stairs. I saw that Danny was outside your bedroom door, and I could hear a panic going on in the room.’
‘Heather had the cord round her neck, but Nurse saw to it – I have every faith in her, Sam. So you cared about me even then and I never knew! But this time you— Oh dear! You will be with me all the time, won’t you?’ She was panting with a new wave of pain.
‘Shush,’ he said. ‘I won’t leave your side, even if they want to throw me out.’
Nurse Buss was panting too, coming up the stairs, because Jessie had urged her to be quick. They came into the room just in time to see the baby emerging and Sam ready to catch the slippery little body in his hands.
&n
bsp; Nurse turned to Jessie. ‘Sam must move over until I’ve done what I have to do. It’s a messy business, but he didn’t pass out like some men I’ve had to deal with. He’s done well, Jessie, you can be proud of him.’
A knock on the door. Jessie opened it to see Danny with the big jug of hot water. His eyes widened at the sight before him. ‘He didn’t . . .?’
‘He did, Danny. Put the jug on the washstand and make yourself scarce.’
‘It’s another girl; all is well,’ Nurse announced. ‘Has she a name?’
‘Kitty,’ Sam and Kathleen said together.
‘I’ll go and spread the good news,’ Danny said. He turned away so they wouldn’t see how affected he was.
Later, they all crowded round the bed to welcome Kitty into the family. ‘She’s got a look of you about her,’ Sam said to Jessie proudly. ‘Not much hair, but the same colour as yours and Danny’s, it seems . . . She’s not dark like Kathleen, Heather or me, but she’s lovely, isn’t she?’
Heather, in Marion’s arms, wriggled to be put down. ‘Mumma,’ she said uncertainly.
‘Let her sit beside me, then she can see the baby properly,’ Kathleen said. She was cuddling Kitty in what Sam thought was a maternal way, not awkward as she had been with Heather, but then this baby was the result of an act of love, unlike . . . He banished such thoughts firmly.
‘This is your little sister, Heather. Her name is Kitty,’ Kathleen smiled.
‘Nice,’ Heather said. She put her thumb in her mouth as if she was uncertain.
‘Now off you go, all of you,’ Nurse said. ‘My patient needs to rest. Later you can bring her a bowl of bread and milk. Yes, you too, Sam,’ she added.
‘Where’s Doc? He’s not here,’ Kathleen realised.
Jessie turned at the door. ‘Nurse told us just family.’
‘But he is family! I want to see him; he was so kind and helpful.’
‘I’ll bring him with me when I come up with the bread and milk,’ Sam said. He was wondering if he would be allowed to share her bed tonight. There was so much he wanted to say to her, about how happy she’d made him. ‘I must go home for a while, to fetch yours and Heather’s things. I will ask the men to carry on as usual with their work, and also to see to the horse. I hope Ollie isn’t making havoc downstairs, but old Bob seems to tolerate him, doesn’t he?’
The Winter Baby Page 10