by C. J. Anaya
“What are you talking about?”
“No one has shared with Musubi the real cause of your injuries. He is under the impression that your father beat you again. I took Kenji aside, and he disclosed everything that happened after I left you at the ruins.” She looked at me guiltily as she began to pace beside the mat on the floor. “Another nekomata attack, Saigo’s fatal injuries, your own father stabbing you in the chest.” She stopped before me, looking angry and feeling responsible. ““I should have pulled you and your brother from the palace much sooner. If I hadn’t been so desperate for the location of the arrival of that damn gold shipment none of this would have happened.”
“Akane, I agreed to join this cause. I agreed to help in whatever capacity I was able, and I do not regret my decisions. They were mine to make, regardless of what you requested. In the end, I think you’ll find that those events have brought about a small miracle of sorts.””
I reached within the inner pocket of my kimono and withdrew the small bundle, unwrapping the white linen and revealing a pitch black dagger. The curved edge glistened wickedly in the early morning light.
She stared at it in utter disbelief.
“Is that—”
“Yes. A weapon from the underworld.”
She took it from me almost reverently. I was happy to see it go. It felt wrong to keep it in my possession, as if it had a life of its own and an evil mind controlling it. Akane stayed silent for several moments, examining the weapon.
“Do you realize you just gave the rebels the key to defeating your father? One tiny scratch is all it would take. With your father dead the rebellion would be over, and you would be free to rule in his stead until Saigo is of age to take over the empire. You just gave me the only weapon capable of killing your father.”
I nodded solemnly.
“The question is, how to draw him out from the palace, considering he never leaves the damn place. We’re still faced with the same problem.”
“If it had been within my power to use that weapon and stab him myself I would have done so, but he is never alone. His guards are always flanking him. However, I think once you hear what else I have to share with you, you will find that it makes much more sense to infiltrate the palace rather than draw him out.”
“What have you discovered?”
I related in great detail what I had learned from the nekomata in my father’s study. Akane’s pallor only grew worse with each new detail.
“Musubi’s suspicions were correct,” she mumbled. “The emperor has Hachiman, and who knows how many other kami held within his dungeons. What’s worse is the castle is most likely being ruled by the recently restored kami from the underworld. Do you have any idea how many nekomata have partaken of your blood?”
“I’m assuming the number is exceptionally high. My father has been stealing my blood for much longer than we originally thought,” I stated. ““I also have no idea if they will leave my father alive or continue to use him for their own purposes. I think it’s safe to say the rebels have a new enemy to concern themselves with. We have to rescue those kami being held prisoners in the dungeons and rid the palace of Amatsu’s followers before we can consider what to do about my father.”
“I agree with your assessment. We must discuss this news with Musubi and decide where we go from here. He’s going to have a million questions as to how you retrieved this information.”
“I will have a story ready for him. I promise you.”
Akane gave me an encouraging smile and slid the dagger from the underworld into her saya.
“There was another matter I wished to discuss with you, Akane.”
“I don’t know a thing about romance, so I hope this has nothing to do with how you plan on wooing Musubi.”
I let out a soft laugh.
“It’s nothing like that, though I’m not gaining much ground in that department, either. Any suggestions from you could only help at this point.””
She smiled. “If I were you, I would mount a surprise attack full of unrelenting kisses whenever the opportunity presents itself.”
I laughed out loud at that. “I appreciate the combative tone of your advice. In this case, catching him by surprise might be the only way to push through his emotional barriers. I have something completely different to discuss with you, however.”
“I am at your disposal, Princess.”
“You and I know that I am a quick learner when it comes to fighting, but I will never harness the skills of the samurai in time to truly defend myself against a nekomata, though I might be able to take on a few soldiers.”
She raised an eyebrow at that.
“Fat soldiers,” I amended.
A faint smile lifted the corners of her mouth.
“I know you are aware of the method I use to gain intelligence from my father’s enemies.”
“Yes, you transfer their memories and absorb them. They become a part of you.”
“What if I could do that with your memories? What if I absorb every single lesson you received from Musubi and all of the combat experience you have had within my own mind in order to become a skilled fighter now? Tonight.”
Akane looked troubled. “I thought this killed the person from whom you transferred these memories.”
“That is merely because my father wouldn’t allow me to give those memories back, and also because he had me transfer every memory within their subconscious. He wanted them to die, but all I have to do is absorb your fighting knowledge and then give it back to you. My mind and spirit will remember the information, and your memories will be returned to you. I don’t know if that means my body will automatically know what my mind knows. I won’t have the same muscular build that you have due to all of your training and combat experience, but the knowledge will be there. What do you think?”
Akane blew out a steadying breath. Nervous tension ran through her body followed by excited anticipation.
“I think I trust you, and that this is most definitely worth attempting if it means you’ll be able to defend yourself at an experienced samurai level.”
“I only wish I’d thought of this sooner.”
“Yes, but then you never would have shared all of that time training with Musubi. Need I remind you that my purpose for having him train you is two-fold?” She gave me a saucy grin.
I shook my head and motioned for her to sit on the cot. “Let’s get started then.” She obediently sat down on the edge, and I stood in front of her, placing my hands on her temples and closing my eyes. I connected to her ki and took a moment to simply stare at it. Her ki was beautiful, far different from any I had ever encountered. It seemed to shine more brightly than most. “What I am going to do right now is sift through your memories to find your first lessons with Musubi, and then I will go from there and transfer those memories to my ki.””
“Will it be painful?”
“No, although you might feel as if you are reliving a few memories as I pull them from your subconscious.”
“I think I can handle that,” she said.
I focused intently on the memories flashing in front of me until I came upon the first memory Akane had of Musubi. I tried to transfer only the memories of her lessons with him, but all of the interactions involving Musubi became another way for me to know him. During their training sessions he was patient, but firm, and a bit of a father figure to her when he visited her at the home he placed her in. I was able to see the simple things he did to lift others’’ spirits by giving food to the woman Akane lived with or playing in the dirty roads with local children from the village. Musubi was larger than life in her eyes and the only family she had, though the woman she lived with was kind and attentive.
I transferred every single memory that held a trace of Musubi, fighting alongside him, their conversations, his instructions, everything. I absorbed how it felt to fight with the same kind of level and ease that Akane expertly fought with now, and my ki committed everything to memory within my mi
nd. Once I gleaned all that I could, I gently returned those memories to her with great care, making certain that no damage occurred to her brain in the process.
I still felt curious about Akane’s origins and couldn’t help but go back further to the earliest memories she had as a baby. Scrolling through a person’s memories is like flipping through pages of a book. There is always a beginning with the end not fully written until the life of that person fades from this side of the veil. When I reached Akane’s earliest memories as an infant, I was surprised to discover that there were thousands of memories that predated her birth in this life. Simply put, her birth in this life was not the beginning of her book of memories.
I flipped through the memories that predated her birth and nearly screamed in horror as I experienced her life ending through her eyes as she fell from a great distance to sharp, jagged rocks below. I stopped and scrolled back even further to try and understand what was happening. I needed to live through the entire incident from her perspective.
Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw next.
Katsu stood in front of her with an indifferent, almost triumphant, expression on his face. “I knew you never loved him. Just like any human you are quick to switch your loyalties to whatever circumstance betters your situation.”
“I cared for him,” she cried, though it felt as if I was the one speaking, “and I will always consider him a dear friend, but I feel nothing more than sisterly affection for him. I didn’t refuse him without good cause.”
I could feel Akane’s heart breaking as if it were my own. Shattered in pieces by Katsu’s rejection of her.
“You did exactly what I stated you would do, exactly what I warned him you were capable of. He needed to see what he risked his immortality for. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t expose you for the unfaithful, loveless woman that you truly are?””
Akane cried uncontrollably, and I with her. I wanted to smack Katsu across the face for his stabbing words and unfeeling heart. She was baring her soul to him and he was ripping it in two.
I skimmed faster through the argument, not wanting to hear any more of Katsu’s insensitive words. He eventually turned away and left her. She stood up on shaking legs and moved to chase after him, but was intercepted by a nekomata of all things. My heart stuttered and nearly stopped. What in the world was happening here?
Akane screamed and stepped back, running in the opposite direction. Reaching the edge of a steep cliff, she stopped and flailed her arms out to prevent herself from falling. She regained her footing and turned around just as the nekomata crashed into her, sending her flying over the cliff’s edge.
I immediately severed my connection to her, not wanting to experience her terror or feel her pain with the impact of her body at the bottom of the ravine. I opened my eyes and stared at Akane. I didn’t realize there were tears cascading down my cheeks until she reached to brush them away.
“Mikomi.” She stood, her alarm evident on her face. “Did you damage yourself? Was this too much for you?”
It took me a moment to respond. Sweat poured from the sides of my temples, as tears continued to seep from my eyes.
Though the entire affair hadn’t happened to me, it didn’t prevent me from personally experiencing it. Akane’s heartbreak at the hands of Katsu and her painful death was not something one could easily recover from.
“Akane, have you ever had any dealings with Katsu? Have you met him?”
“No, I can’t say that I have. Mikomi, you’re scaring me. What on earth is wrong?”
“Tell me of your earliest memories. Do you remember your mother or father?”
Akane glanced at me, clearly troubled. “I remember nothing of my parents. My earliest memories are of foraging in the streets for food and looking for shelter. Mikomi, you must tell me what’s wrong. Were you not able to transfer the memories you needed?””
I took deep, calming breaths and tried to settle my emotions. I could still feel Akane’s terror and heartbreak and wanted to do nothing but sit down and cry. This discovery held significance, but I didn’t understand what exactly I had uncovered. Her ties to Katsu were troubling. Perhaps her fall from the cliff’s edge had damaged her ability to remember her past. But then why did these memories pre-date her birth in this life? Unless, she had lived more than once, which, according to Katsu, was a possibility.
When a soul dies before it accomplishes its purpose in this life it is given a new life to try again. But how was she involved with Katsu in her previous life and why? I held no answers, but felt it unwise to avail her of this information when she would have no memory of it unless I unlocked the memories for her. I didn’t think it right to do so considering how her previous life ended. Why cause her to relive such pain?
I had to puzzle it out on my own.
“No, I was able to access everything applicable to our circumstances. I think I’m simply overcome with all of the violence you’ve had to endure.””
Akane scrutinized me, unconvinced by my explanation. She held my arms for a few more seconds and then released me.
“Let’s test your memories and find out how much you’ve absorbed.” She pulled out her sword and handed it to me, then she grabbed a long, narrow blade from her back and balanced it back and forth between her hands. “We’ll start with basic defensive moves and see how you perform.”
I barely had time to register her quick frontal attack due to my swirling emotions and questions concerning Akane’s connection to Katsu. Fortunately, the memories I absorbed activated my body’s defensive instincts. I brought my sword up and deflected her blow, but allowed her momentum to carry her forward as I stepped at an angle and spun my body to the right, forcing us to switch our original positions. I stood ready as she pivoted her footing and brought her sword backward, swinging low toward my ankles, creating a sweeping slash that I vaulted over while rolling to the right side in opposition of her swing.
I jumped to my feet, ready for her next move.
Akane took a moment to study my form and then smiled in awe. “This is incredible. It’s like you’ve been fighting for years.””
Breathless, I let out a short laugh and toppled to the ground. “Just give my muscles a second to heal before you pummel me with more advanced fighting moves, otherwise I’ll never be quick enough to fight you off.”
“Yes, the knowledge is there, but your body must build stamina. I’m happy to inform you your trainings with Musubi are still a necessity. Though I have no idea how we’re going to account for your sudden growth in skill.”
“You leave that to me.” I stood shakily and returned her sword. “I can show improvement gradually enough. Even if it is at a more accelerated pace than most people. If I have to defend myself against a nekomata again, Musubi will most likely not be present either way.”
“True, though that thought is disturbing, but at least I won’t worry as much as I did before. Now, there is something else I would like to experiment with if you are up for it.”
“That is?”
“I know that your powers give you the ability to heal. Can you explain that process for me?”
“My ki connects with another’s and then I give their ki instructions on how to rebuild and repair the damage. It is a step-by-step process.”
“So when you connect with someone’s ki, you essentially have full control over the functions of their body.”
“I guess I do, though I’ve never actually looked at it that way before.”
“Would it be possible, for example, for you to instruct someone’s ki to inflict pain?”
I raised my eyebrows in surprise. “Inflict pain? I suppose it is possible, but I’ve only ever taken pain away. I don’t know if I——no, wait.” I thought back to my second encounter with a nekomata during my engagement ceremony to Katsu. When reaching for the nekomata, I had prevented his advancement by visualizing pain to slow his movements. “I think I might be able to do something like that, but I would hate to
employ it. Causing pain to others isn’t a skill I wish to master.”
“Not even if it means defending yourself and the people you love?”
I let her words sink in as the possibilities of what she said whirled before me. All this time I’d had the power to defend myself against my father, against the nekomata and anyone else who wanted to do me harm. I felt like a simpleton for not having thought of it myself. I’d been missing the obvious with frequency as of late. I looked up at Akane. She seemed satisfied as she realized I understood her intent.
“Your second line of defense,” she said. “If you encounter an opponent you cannot best with the sword, your next move is to blind them with pain. Practice on me.”” She stepped forward and offered me her hand.
“Absolutely not. I could never hurt you, Akane.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re only hurting me for a few moments so you can learn how to do it. We must experiment with this new idea, and I am here, a willing test subject.””
I shook my head. “I don’t like this. I am not comfortable hurting someone with my gift even if they deserve it.”
“That kind of emotion is sure to get you killed. An enemy is an enemy whether you feel they deserve to be defeated or not. You will have to suspend your compassion and mercy for those moments when you are healing. Defending your life and that of your loved ones is the only thought that should drive you if you are engaged in combat.”
I bit my lower lip, uncertain if I could compartmentalize my own moral ideals in order to purposely cause harm with my gift. Akane placed both hands on my shoulders, forcing me to make eye contact.
“Mikomi, the end result will be no different than delivering pain with a tangible weapon such as your sword. No matter the methods you employ, you have to be prepared to defend yourself. You must practice this.”
She released me and then held her hand out toward me again. I attempted to shake myself free of my own perceptions concerning my gift, acknowledging it as a potential weapon for the first time in my life. Reaching for her hand, I connected to her, but still I hesitated to give any command other than one of healing. I knew Akane wouldn’t relent until I had done exactly what she suggested.