One of us moves us to her bed. Probably me. She slips off my cut, carefully setting it on her desk, barely breaking our kiss. My hands run down her back, cupping her ass, pulling her against me. I twist us onto her bed, keeping her on top of me. My hands slip under her sweater and she freezes.
“Baby, I’ll be gentle. I won’t hurt you,” I reassure her.
She snorts and rolls off me to the side. “I’m not a virgin, Blake.”
With a growl, I roll on top of her, pinning her to the mattress. “Don’t give a fuck, Heidi.” But deep down I do. I’m furious. Not at her. I could never be mad at Heidi. She’s the sweetest, brightest thing in my world. Always has been. It’s the whole situation that pisses me off. And I know right this second, I’m never voting her boyfriend, Axel, into the club. No fucking way.
I have no right to be mad. She was never going to wait for me. Especially not after she caught me in a three-way in the middle of her brother’s living room a couple years ago.
“We’re even, baby,” I whisper while kissing her neck.
She groans. “I doubt that.”
Yeah, well I ain’t been a saint. But that shit’s over. I don’t ever want another woman’s hands on me again.
I draw back, peering into her eyes. “Axel?” I fucking hate saying his name here in her bed. Thinking of him in here with her is royally pissing me off. I haven’t been with anyone in a while. It’s not much, but it’s all I have to offer her.
“None of your business,” she shoots back.
“From today on, everything about you is my business.”
She doesn’t answer. Her hand reaches up and tickles over my beard. “This is scratchy.”
I can’t help laughing. “I’ll shave it off right the fuck now, Heidi.”
There’s that little twist of her mouth again. “Don’t,” she whispers.
We keep kissing while I undress her. Slowly peeling off each bit of clothing. I’m fuckin’ excited, happy, scared and hard as steel all at the same time. She helps me toss my shirt on the floor. Those little hands of hers skating over my back and shoulders send shock waves through me. I move down her body enough to run my tongue over one nipple and then the other. She gasps and arches her back. It’s completely silent in here except for the sounds of us.
Her hands fiddle with my jeans. She gets the button undone, then runs her hands over my sides. I struggle to push and kick my jeans and boots off. I don’t want to leave the warmth of her body for even a second.
“There’re condoms in my desk,” she says, while slipping her arm out and pointing.
Like fuck am I using Axel’s goddamn condoms. “I got it,” I grumble, and I swear she smirks at me.
Heidi’s always had an independent—some might say bratty—streak. I love it. I need a woman who stands up to me.
I need her.
As I drag my fingertips down her belly, over her hip and down her thigh, she hums in my ear. This crazy sexy, humming-purring sound I’ve never heard from her before.
I want more.
My hand trails back up her thigh, between her legs. Her heat sears my skin. I hiss when my fingers brush against her. So fucking wet. I circle her clit, and her humming noises turn into moans. I bury my face against her neck. “Heidi.”
My finger traces her slick pussy and teases inside. She lifts, pressing herself into my touch. Next time I want to draw this out. When we’re in my bed. Or maybe I’ll take her away where we can be alone. Where I can spend hours devouring her. Learning everything about her. But now? My dick’s throbbing. I’m worried if I wait much longer, it won’t be good for her.
Her hands shackle my wrist while she keeps me in place. Her forehead wrinkles and her lips part. “Oh, right there. Please, more.” The words come out as breathless pants. She grinds herself against me faster, riding my hand while she comes hard and loud. She’s more demanding and sure of herself than I expected.
I like it. A lot.
I need to be inside her. If it doesn’t happen soon, I’m pretty sure I’ll die.
I should feel guilty about this. Why don’t I feel guilty?
Twelve-year-old me is doing cartwheels inside, that’s why.
Future Heidi knows this is a horrible idea I’ll regret.
I’ve wanted Blake to look at me this way for years. When I found him waiting for me on the other side of the door, I knew this was where we’d end up.
It was inevitable.
The Heidi in the here and now wants what’s been denied for so long. I’ll have to fix the many broken pieces afterward.
Blood thunders through my ears as I come down. My eyes flutter open and I find him watching me intently.
“Beautiful.” To me, his low rough voice is both comforting and thrilling.
Between my legs, his fingers still gently trace circles against my sensitive flesh. “Are you all right?” he asks. I’ve known Blake my whole life, but never this version of him. Sweet, gentle, and determined.
“Blake, that was…” I can’t finish the sentence. I have no words.
He leans down and kisses my nose, then my lips.
My heart pounds impossibly faster as he reaches into the pocket of his jeans and slips out a gold foil square. Was he carrying that in the hopes that we’d end up here? Or is it one of many he carries around on a regular basis, in case some chick wants to drop her panties for him?
Fascinated and conflicted, I watch as he rips into the wrapper, tugs out the rubber and expertly rolls—
From the floor, Blake’s phone gives off a muffled buzz.
He hesitates. “Fuck.”
I’m practically panting with anticipation. He’s so close. The phone buzzes again, and I groan. He nips at my ear. “Ignore it, Bug.”
Goddammit. Past Heidi remembers the dismissive way he’s called me that for years. How insignificant it makes me feel. How much he knows I hate it and he calls me it anyway. To say it now, when everything’s about to change. When we’re about to. . .no. Just no. I can’t.
I press my hands against his shoulders and push him back. “You should get that, Murphy.”
His eyebrows draw down and his gaze roams over my face. “What’s wrong?”
A breeze from my open window drifts over me, and I close my eyes. “We should go.” I don’t wait for an answer. Instead, I shove my way out from under him and scoop my clothes up off the floor. I’ve been naked in front of one guy in my life—Axel, yet somehow that’s not what’s bothering me. I’m perfectly comfortable around Blake—and that’s what bothers me.
“Um?” His hand reaches out, latching on to mine.
“I can’t do this with you.”
He sits up and I focus on my closed bedroom door so I won’t drool all over his perfectly sculpted body. I swallow hard. I’ve fantasized about seeing Murphy like this for years. Years. And I can’t even enjoy it.
I love Blake with all my heart. But I’m in love with my boyfriend, Axel.
Tugging my hand out of his grasp, I take a step back and slip my shirt on. With some fabric between my skin and Blake’s hungry eyes, I can think straight.
“I’m going to…” I gesture at the bedroom door lamely and scurry out.
When I emerge from the bathroom, he’s fully dressed and waiting for me by the front door. As I approach, he glances up and a pained smile curves his mouth. “You okay?”
No. I’m rattled right down to my bones. “Yeah, I just know people are probably wondering where we are.”
I think he knows I mean Axel is wondering where I am because Murphy’s mouth turns down. He twists the knob and holds the door open for me.
When we pull up the clubhouse driveway, butterflies dance in my stomach. Except for lockdown situations, I’m not supposed to hang out at my brother’s motorcycle club. Most of that went out the window this past summer. The club president—Rock, who’s the closest I’ve ever had to a father—gave his okay for my party to be held up here, since it’s my eighteenth. That and I think since he’s settled down with
Hope—who’s like a mother to me—the guys aren’t allowed to have the wild parties they used to. Blake parks his bike way down the hill. When he shuts the engine down, I get off and shake out my hair.
“Why’d you park all the way down here?”
“I need to talk to you.”
My gaze darts to the house. I know the layout of the clubhouse pretty well. There are no downstairs windows facing this way, but there are plenty of upstairs windows that do. Not that Axel should be in any of those rooms, but still.
“Can we walk while we talk?”
Blake shakes his head in an exasperated way that almost makes me feel sorry for him. I don’t mean to be a brat. I hate disappointing Blake more than anything. Maybe more than anyone. But I’m so damn confused. I need to get away from him. Away from everyone. I don’t even want to go to my party anymore. The thought of seeing Axel, while all the places Blake touched me are still tingling, twists my insides. In a few brief seconds, I lost control and turned into the kind of whore my grandmother always said I’d be.
Blake eases my helmet out of my hands and wraps his arm around my shoulders, guiding me up the driveway. “I meant what I said, Heidi. I want you to be my girl.”
I stop dead in my tracks. “Are you fucking kidding?”
“No, I’m not fucking kidding,” he says so low and determined my skin prickles. Using his bulky body, he pushes me off the driveway into a clump of trees. The emotions swirling in my belly scare me. I want him to do things to me that I have no business thinking about. Starting with ripping my clothes off and pinning me up against the nearest pine tree.
Why does it have to be wrong to have what I want? Why do I have to know that Murphy’s bedded every willing girl in the tri-state area? I don’t want to be one of hundreds.
With Axel, I know I’m special.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Autumn believes true love stories never end. She’s easily amused, a procrastinator, and adores romances with true alpha heroes who cherish the sassy women they fall in love with.
Her past lives include baking cookies, slinging shoes, and practicing law. Playing with her imaginary friends is her favorite job so far.
Autumn prefers to write her romances on the classier side of dirty, and she’s a sucker for a filthy-talking, demanding alpha male hero. The bigger the better.
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THE END
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