He wiped his thumb across his bottom lip, grinning playfully at her. "I obviously upset you today somehow. I wanted to apologize."
"That is not how you apologize."
"I don't know," he teased, his eyes twinkling. "You were very...forgiving."
Aria huffed, but couldn't really argue that point. She'd been completely ready to have sex with him right there in the entry of her apartment. Damn his rugged good looks and deep, growly voice. "I could have been sleeping you know. It's after midnight. I am not a booty call, if that's what you're expecting."
"Wow. Claws out tonight, huh?" He raised a brow as he looked at her.
Aria's shoulders sagged. "I'm sorry. I'm feeling very...I don't know what I'm feeling. And you're really not helping with that." She ushered him into the living room. "Come on in. Let me take your coat."
"Thanks.” He handed her his jacket then rolled up the sleeves of his button-up shirt. He settled down into the couch, patting the cushion next to him. "Join me."
Aria nibbled on the corner of her lip, debating the proximity. She was already feeling distracted by the way he was looking at her bare legs. Finally, she relented and curled up on the seat next to him, tucking her legs underneath her as if she was almost curling into herself. Tension spread throughout her body, nerves fluttering in her belly.
They stared at each other for a moment. Aria's mind was reeling, unable to focus on a single thought, but rather jumping from one to another in rapid succession. This was unfamiliar ground for her.
She'd been in relationships before, but no one had ever made her feel the way she felt when Ben was around. Weightless. Thrilling. Impulsive and exciting. He gave her the confidence to push boundaries, to step over the lines she’d spent a lifetime slave to. When he looked at her, it was limitless and anything she’d ever wanted was suddenly within reach. She hadn't even known such a feeling was possible actually, or that she’d ever felt so limited before.
That’s the thing about building walls around one’s heart—it’s easy to forget they’re there until someone begins chipping away at them.
Relationships had always been somewhat transactional for Aria before. Someone to spend time with, care for...it had always been about the other person and what role she should play. What they needed from her, and how she could give to them.
Ben was someone she shouldn't be with. No doubt about it. And yet, she was beginning to realize he was what she wanted more than anything. She wanted to take back everything she'd ever said about free agents. She wanted strings attached—every damn string.
Ben reached out a hand and pushed a lock of hair from her face. As his cool fingers brushed against her heated face, she nearly forgot how to breathe.
"God, I've missed you." He spoke so quietly, she almost missed it, but the admission both thrilled her at the same time that it terrified her. She was completely in this—head-over-damn-heels—and he only saw her as a fling, at best.
"Ben…don't." She shook her head and looked away, as if the answer to everything she didn't understand was somewhere in her apartment and she just needed to find it. "What are you doing here?"
"I stayed at the office all day today, and all I could think about was you, Aria. Seeing you this morning..." He was the one shaking his head now. "I don't know what I'm doing here either."
"You acted like you barely knew me today."
A frown creased his forehead. "Is that why you were so upset?"
"I wasn't upset," she shot back. Lying. Great way to start, Aria. "I mean, I was just confused."
"About?"
She tossed her arms up and shrugged. "I get that we're not dating. I get that we don't want anyone knowing about our…” She waved one hand between them. “…whatever this is. Was. Is? don't know. But, we are at least friends, right?"
He nodded, his frown deepening.
“Well, you spoke to me like we were just colleagues. If even that.” She was getting more worked up with every sentence, and the unshed tears burning her eyes were getting harder to hold back.
"Aria..." Ben reached for her, pulling her onto his lap and wrapping his arms around her. "I'm so sorry. I was trying to be respectful of your wishes. Keep any suspicions at bay. I do not think of you as a colleague. Hell, I definitely don't think of you as just a friend either."
She sniffed, tucking her head into his neck and inhaling the familiar scent of his cologne. Sandalwood and earthiness. Rugged and brusque. She couldn't get enough.
"What are we doing, Ben?" she whispered, pushing past the lump in her throat.
He groaned. Frustrated. Pained. He was visibly aching, and she was right there with him. "We're being idiots."
"You came all the way over here in the middle of the night to call me an idiot?" she asked, scrunching up her face and letting out a small chuckle. That certainly wasn't where she'd expected their conversation to go. “Gee, thanks.”
Ben laughed and placed two fingers beneath her chin, tilting her face to his. "We're idiots because we're fighting this. Fighting us."
Aria's entire body began to tremble, her heart thumping so loud in her chest that she could hear it in her ears. She slid her tongue across her lower lip, swallowing hard. "What are you saying, Ben?"
"The free agent weekend was a stupid idea. I'm sorry, but it was. We're not colleagues. We're not friends. We're...we're—" Ben paused then shook his head. "Fuck it."
His lips were on hers in seconds. Aria's body exploded with heat as he wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her so tight to his chest, she could barely breathe.
She didn't care. She didn't want to breathe. She'd happily die pressed against his lips and pretending this was her forever—that he was her forever.
He pulled her bottom lip between his, nibbling the soft flesh before letting go and kissing her top lip. She parted her mouth, and his tongue dove in. They devoured each other with such fervor, such need, that she was already on the edge of orgasm just from grinding against his lap.
"Bedroom," she said, gasping for air when they came apart. "Now."
He growled, his eyes fiery and eager, then scooped her up in his arms. They continued to lock lips while he carried her to the bedroom. Laying her down on the bed, he then pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it across the room.
Aria was already wiggling out of hers, completely nude underneath except for a small pair of beige panties that she really wished she hadn't chosen to wear tonight.
"Fuck, Aria." His eyes roamed her nearly naked body as he pushed back and unbuttoned his pants, stepping out of them. "Beautiful. Just like I remembered."
"It's only been a month," she breathed, squirming on the bed because surely any moment her body would erupt in flames. He was as chiseled as she remembered, and his manhood was full and wanting before her. Her body pulsed in anticipation, her sex clenching with eagerness.
"It's been longer than that." He gripped the top hem of her panties and slid them down her legs in one quick motion. When she spread her legs, he groaned again and almost melted forward onto the bed. "Too fucking long."
"Please, I can't wait," she begged, gripping his biceps and pulling him toward her.
He pressed his body over hers, pinning her to the mattress. Making his way down her neck, he placed soft kisses over her skin before reaching down and grabbing her knees. He pushed them apart, bending them around his waist.
She clutched her knees to his hips as he pressed against her entrance. With one long thrust, he completely filled her and she gasped at the shock of his size. She wasn't sure she'd ever get used to him, but she didn't regret a thing.
"Jesus, Aria...you're so tight." His lips were to her ears as he began thrusting in and out of her. "So damn perfect."
Aria wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling her to him and kissing him with such fierceness, she almost felt dizzy. "Harder," she gasped. She wanted more. She wanted everything. She wanted to feel his strength, his power, his command. She wanted him to take her—claim her.
Tears slid down the sides of her face at his confession. She tightened her grip on him, and kissed his neck. Bringing her lips to his ears, she whispered, "I'm yours. I always have been."
He pulled back just enough to look at her—eyes wide. She wondered if he had actually been worried she'd say no. As if there was any world where she wasn't completely wrapped around his finger.
"This is real?" he asked, an ache in his voice that shattered her completely.
"We're so fucking real," she replied just as her body began unraveling around him, waves of pleasure shooting through her as her back arched off the bed.
He held her tight to his body, waiting for her to subside, then quickly pulled out and finished on her lower abdomen. "Fuck. We need to buy more condoms."
"Or I can just go on the pill?" she offered. Feeling him inside her like that? There's no way she could go back. "I'm clean."
"I'm clean, too." He raised a brow, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "And I like your idea. A lot."
"I'll call for an appointment in the morning," she called out to his retreating back as he headed for the bathroom.
Aria already felt exhaustion creeping over her. An hour earlier, sleep had seemed impossible and now she was struggling to keep her eyes open.
When Ben returned a minute later, a warm, wet cloth was in his hand. He gently cleaned her then returned with it to the bathroom.
She curled into the sheets, her eyes drifting closed until he crawled under the covers behind her and wrapped his arm around her waist. "I've missed this bed.”
"Mmm," Aria moaned, pushing her body back against him, wanting to feel every inch of his body pressed against her. "I've never seen your house, you know."
"We can spend tomorrow night there if you want. I have to warn you, though. It's nowhere near as cozy as yours."
"Tomorrow night?" A smile spread over her lips. They were making plans.
"And the next night, and the night after that, and the night after that..." He trailed off, kissing her neck instead. "I want you in all my nights, Aria."
"What about your days?" she asked, because that was going to be a lot more complicated. They still couldn't be an official public, or make their relationship common knowledge. "What are we, Ben?"
He paused, quiet for a moment. "I know what I want us to be. I want it to be you and me, together. Exclusive. I want to go on dates and send you flowers and hold your hand in public."
Aria's heart soared, but reality quickly pulled it down. "But we can't. Not until after the movie is released."
She'd already agreed to help Travis, and their rumored dating was really helping the movie promotion. Not to mention the hit her reputation would take if her love life went public—dating the director, her co-star, and the producer? Really hard to come back from that mudslide.
"It's only a few more months. We could keep the secret until then."
Aria giggled, kind of liking the sound of that. "A secret romance."
"From the press, at least." Ben cuddled her tighter to him. "We could tell friends and family."
"My mother wants you to come over for dinner," Aria told him, remembering her mother's demand.
"I'd love to."
Aria heard him yawning behind her, and she yawned next. "Will you be here in the morning?"
"I'm going to be mysteriously sick from work tomorrow," he mumbled into the pillow. "I'll have to stay in bed all day."
"That's unfortunate," she teased. "I can nurse you back to health."
"God, yes."
Aria closed her eyes, lifting his hand from her waist up to her face and curling into it. They were as wrapped around each other as two people could possibly be, and she was more than ready to spend every night like this.
If she could be patient for a few more months, he could be her forever.
Chapter Eighteen
"We can't drive in together," Aria admonished him. "How obvious would that be?"
Ben laughed and tossed a balled-up pair of socks across the room at her. "You're taking this secret romance thing very seriously, huh?"
She batted away his fabric missile with ease. "And you're acting like we should be shouting it from the rooftops."
Ben crossed the bedroom and took her in his arms. Kissing her cheeks and then her forehead, he sighed. "It does kind of suck. It's only been a day, but I feel like I could stay in this bed with you for years."
Aria murmured softly against his chest. "I know. You can't call out sick two days in a row though, and I'm not sure my body can handle another full day sex-a-thon."
"Never know until we try," he teased.
Yesterday had been one of the best days of his life, maybe almost as good as their weekend together. He'd called out of work, and they'd spent the day in bed with delivery food and sex.
A lot of sex.
Damn it, he wanted her again now even though they'd just had a quickie in the shower while getting ready for the day. "Shit, Aria. You might be my drug. I can't get enough of you."
She twisted away from him with a flirty smile. "You're crazy."
No argument here.
They quickly finished getting dressed and headed down to their separate cars. He'd go to the office as usual, and she had the photo shoot for the movie promos.
"Are you going to stop by the shoot today?" she asked, leaning over the top of her open car door.
"Maybe." He stepped closer to her, his hands in his pockets. "Tell me you want me to."
He wasn't asking, and he liked the way her eyes darkened and her cheeks flushed when he did so. She'd resist it, but she loved when he was commanding, and he loved that about her.
Aria shrugged, but the corners of her lips were tilted north. "I wouldn't hate seeing you."
"And tonight?" he asked, not taking her bait. "I'll text you the address to my place, and meet you there when you're done with the shoot."
"I might be able to pencil you into my calendar."
Ben kissed her goodbye, chuckling against her lips at her continued attempt to act nonchalant. "You better, baby." I love you. The words almost tumbled out of his mouth, but he held them back, shocked at how natural the urge to say it felt. "See you later," he said instead.
She looked hesitant for a moment, then nodded. "See you at work, boss."
Ben laughed and headed for his car parked a few spots away. Climbing into the driver's seat, he took a moment to take in a deep breath. The hole he'd been feeling in his life for months, maybe years, was gone. Even the brief period of time he'd been married to his ex, he'd never felt like this. He'd never felt complete.
With Aria, he felt whole. He felt invincible. She had so quickly become everything to him, fit perfectly into every part of his heart, and he'd do anything he could to keep her there. It was absolutely risky and insane, considering how quickly he'd fallen for her, but that didn't diminish the truth.
When Ben finally arrived at work, a few people asked about his absence the day before, but he feigned a stomach bug because people didn’t tend to ask follow-up questions of those things. The morning went by quickly as he attempted to catch up on the work he'd missed from the day before.
He was just starting to think about lunch when his office phone rang.
"Hello?" he answered.
"Hey, baby," the familiar croon of his ex-wife came over the line.
Ben's jaw clenched, his fuse already shortening at the very idea of having to talk to a woman who'd hurt him so viciously. "What do you need, Marion?"
Needing something was the only reason she ever called nowadays.
"Need?" She feigned hurt, but he didn’t buy it for a second. "Oh, Benny, come on. Can't a lady just call to catch up with her former lover?"
"Former husband," he corrected. "Never was that much love between
us."
"Hurtful," she continued. "But not entirely wrong. We had a good thing going back then. You've got to admit both of our careers flourished together—the eternally sexy diva with her hot, young playboy. We were quite a pair in this industry."
"Until you tore us both down with that tabloid shit storm." Of course, the takeaway from their marriage for her would be about business. Everything was a transaction to get what she wanted.
"A woman scorned, Benny...you know the saying."
Ben's jaw clenched tighter. "Right." Her lack of remorse was unsettling. He'd done nothing to deserve her wrath, except not love her. “Making me look like an idiot kid who fell for a-Mrs. Robinson-type didn’t work in either of our favors, Marion.”
Marion sighed through the line. "Benny, can we have lunch? I'd really love to see you and catch up. Talk about more…pleasant…topics."
Shit. If she wanted to meet up, then she needed something big. Probably money. He’d already paid a hefty sum in the divorce that she easily could have lived off for years, and yet, nothing was ever enough for her. He may have been portrayed as the cougar’s boy toy in the media back then, but he had always been the real breadwinner and brains of the operation.
Thankfully, he was older now and no one mistook him for a boyish nobody anymore. He’d worked hard to cut his ties in the press with Marion, and was finally beginning to be judged for his own merits. "I'm busy, Marion. I've got a new job and can't be taking lunch breaks right now."
"I heard. Head of Shepherd Films...congratulations, Benny." Her voice softened even further, almost lilting with overt sexuality. What was her angle? "I also heard you have a new film casting soon."
Ah, there it was.
He rolled his eyes, letting out a long exhale. "And you want me to cast you? Is that why you're calling?"
She huffed. "Benny, I'm insulted. I would never ask for favors. You know how seriously I take my craft."
What a load of bullshit. She'd only ever starred in B-List movies, and was now on reality television shows regularly. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but in Marion's glory days, she'd been rumored to be the next big thing. Her shitty attitude and diva behavior ended that almost before it began—not to mention their divorce splashed across Page Six making both of them look like a big joke in their May-December romance gone south.
NUDES: A Hollywood Romance (Exposed Book 1) Page 10