Chapter Twelve
Becca
I received a text message from Everett. He wants to see me, and he gave me no indication of why. Reese won’t answer her phone, so I’m going into this meeting blind. I’m trying to move on from Travis, so I hope Ev’s not wishing to have a discussion about his brother.
Once I enter Casteel Motorsport, I glance to the counter. I know I’m not going to see Travis, and although it’s a relief, it saddens me, too. I hope rehab helps him and he can get back to this place. It’s like a second home for him.
Franklin sees me and waves. His smile is sincere, and I recall when Travis used to seem that happy. Geez, can I quit thinking about the guy for two seconds? Clay’s handsome face appears in my head, so maybe there’s hope for me yet.
Everett said to come to his office, so I amble through the store until I reach the back hallway. Reese’s door is shut, but Kyle’s is open on the left. I poke my head in to say hi to him.
“Kyle, how have you been?”
His eye look up and the pen in his mouth drops from it.
“Becca, hi. How are you?” His gaze falls to my hands and arms. Shit. I remember he hasn’t seen me since the accident.
“I’m doing well. I heard you got engaged to Holly.” Ugh, just saying her name reminds me of Molly.
He smiles. “Uh, yeah, and I wasn’t able to convince her to stay working here like Everett managed to do with Reese. She said we don’t need to be together twenty-four-seven. Should I be offended by that?”
His grin shows he’s less nervous now.
I snicker. “I think she still likes you. I mean, she did agree to wake up to your bad breath every morning.”
His head cocks back. “True, so true. Are you here to see your sister? She’s super busy today.”
“No, I’m actually having a meeting with Everett, so I better get back there. It was great seeing you again.”
His smile vanishes and he swallows.
“Uh, listen, I’m real sorry about your accident and your friend. Since Reese was away for the funeral, I had to stay here to work.”
“It’s fine, Kyle, and thank you. I guess I’ll see you later.” I’m swiftly out of his office. Pity. It’s always that same look of pity.
Everett’s door is open, so I stick my head in and tap on it.
“Becca, come on in and have a seat.” He smiles at me with those blue Casteel eyes every brother possesses.
“I can’t lie; I’m curious as to what this is about.” I take a seat in the chair across from his desk.
“Reese told me you’re looking for a job, so I had a proposition for you. She said you needed some experience to get your foot in the door at some marketing firms you’re interested in. We turned our supply room into an office for Holly, but since she left, we have that space available.”
“Oh, I don’t do accounting. Numbers are definitely not my specialty.”
“I wasn’t meaning for you to do her job. I could actually use your help with some marketing. I was thinking you could work here for six months or so. Then, you’d have some experience to add to your resume, and you’d have sample work for a portfolio.”
“Wow. That’s generous of you.”
“It wouldn’t pay a whole lot, but I figure the opportunity could help.”
I nibble on my lip. “I don’t know that working with Travis is the best idea.”
“I thought you might say that, but you’d be back here, not up front in the store, and it’s not permanent. He’s going to have to face some things once he’s finished with rehab, which is right around the corner.
“It would be good for him to get comfortable around you. I mean, you’re both going to be at some of the same functions since Reese and I are getting married, especially once we have children.”
I feel the sucker punch to my gut, and I want to put my arm across my stomach to ease the pain.
Once they have children.
“What are the job duties?”
“We need to get more exposure for the company. I had no idea you were an artist until Reese mentioned it, so I thought you could work up some designs and marketing campaigns for us. I’m too busy to design them myself.”
I smile. The idea of doing graphic design excites me.
“That’s exactly the work I’m looking for. You’re not only offering me this because of Reese are you?”
Everett leans across his desk and clasps his hands.
“Reese doesn’t know I’m offering you a job. She only mentioned you were struggling to find one. I’d like to help you, Becca, but we also need assistance, so you’d be doing me a favor, as well.”
I nod a few times. “OK. I’ll take it.”
“You don’t even know what it pays.”
“It’s more than I’m making now, so that’s great.”
Everett chuckles. “I have to run it by Sarge, but I’ll make sure it’s enough for you to get out on your own again.”
I hurry around his desk and hug him. I shouldn’t do it, but I can’t help it. He’s made my day.
Reese’s door is open as I’m leaving, so I walk inside.
“Sis, hi.”
“Becca, what are you doing here?”
“Everett offered me a marketing job, and I’m going to take it. I mean, as long as you don’t mind me working here with you.”
Reese grins. “Of course I don’t mind, and I might owe that man a kiss.”
I scrunch my nose. “Oh, god, no sexy time takes place in here, right?”
Her eyes drift away, so I hold up my hand.
“Don’t say a word.”
She giggles as my phone begins to ring.
“Shit, sis, it’s Clay. Should I answer it?”
“Do you want to answer it?”
“I think I do. I’ll see you later.” I press the button to answer and step out into the store. “Hello.”
“Becca, it’s Clay.”
“Hi, how are you?”
“I’m doing well. Things are finally calming down.”
“I’m still sad about your dad. I saw several stories on the news showing the remarkable things he did in his life.”
“Yes, he was a good man. I was calling to see if you’d like to have dinner with me tomorrow night.”
“Sure. I just got a job, so we can celebrate.”
“Congratulations. Can I pick you up at six?”
“Perfect. I’ll text you my address.”
As I end the call, I’ve reached my car. I clutch my phone with both hands and look to the sky with a smile.
“Maybe my luck is turning around,” I say.
Travis
Tom is sitting across from me in his high-back chair while I sit on the loveseat. He’s looking through his notes, and I’m curious about what he has written.
“It’s already our third session,” he says with a smile as he looks up at me.
“I wish I could say the time is going by fast for me, but it’s not.”
“During our last session, you mentioned there being another person who you wished you could have at that moment. Who was that?”
“Becca, but it’s hard to talk about her.”
“Why?”
“It stirs up a lot of shit I don’t want to think about.”
“That makes sense, but it isn’t helpful. Things not dealt with fester, boiling beneath the surface, and we might subdue those uncomfortable emotions with distractions such as sex or alcohol, drugs or overworking, but those are temporary fixes. You need to acknowledge and work through the feelings, and I can help you with that.”
Leaning my head back, I look to the ceiling and swallow.
“Alright, whatever. Her name is Becca, and we began dating in the spring. We broke up July 5th, some terrible shit happened after, and we can never be together again.”
I brave a look at him, and his brow pinches together.
“Which part do you want to tell me first? The terrible events that happened or why you two can’t be together?”
“We can’t be together because I’m to blame for the terrible shit.”
“So, are you saying Becca won’t forgive you?”
“No. She wanted to be with me, but I wouldn’t forgive myself. It’s my punishment for what happened to her, to Molly … to my baby Becca was carrying.”
“Hmmm … sounds heavy, especially if you think you should never be forgiven.”
“Once I tell you, you’ll see why I deserve a punishment. We broke up because I didn’t approve of Becca traveling to Europe for two months when we were supposed to be moving in together, taking our relationship to the next level. It pissed me off, so my last parting words were for her to never come back.”
“Lashing out during a breakup is common.”
“She went to Europe with her best friend, Molly. A drunk driver hit their taxi, and the car caught fire. Molly burned up in the flames as Becca watched.”
I feel as if my chest is caving inward like the day I found out. “Becca tried to save her. She suffered burns to her hands and arms. My brother told me some men pulled her away from Molly and the burning car, or she would’ve died, too.”
“I’m sorry. I imagine you knew Molly.”
“I hadn’t known her long, but she and Becca were roommates, and I’d spent some time with her. She was fun, sweet and had a whole life ahead of her.
“Becca found out she was pregnant while in the hospital recovering. A week later, once she returned home, she miscarried.”
“Why do you blame yourself?”
“Her sister was pissed at me over the breakup, so she made a point to tell me Becca left a day early for her trip.”
“Ah, so you believe all this tragedy happened because you hurt Becca when your relationship ended, causing her to change her course of action.”
“Exactly. Had I been supportive about the trip, she would’ve left a day later, and none of this would’ve happened.”
“What do you think would’ve happened instead?”
“Once Becca returned from her trip, she would’ve told me about the baby. I would’ve begged her to take me back and to marry me.”
The tears sting once again, so I blink them away. “We would’ve raised our child together. That I believe. We loved each other, and neither one of us wanted our relationship to end. That was the first fight we’d ever had.”
My fists clench, and my heart thunders in my chest. “It was a stupid, stupid fight that didn’t mean shit until it meant every-fucking-thing when that drunk asshole took our future away from us.”
Throwing my head back against the cushion, I practically growl from the anger and regret.
“Let it out, Travis. It’s safe here.”
I drag my hands down my face, wiping away the tears betraying me, revealing the pain I try desperately to keep buried.
“I love her more now than I did before the breakup because being away from her made me truly appreciate what we had between us and how right we were for each other.”
Tom tilts his head and stares at me.
“I imagine you’ve been told more times than not that the tragic events from the summer were not your fault.”
“Yep.”
“There was never malice on your part. You didn’t wish for any of this to happen. Correct?”
“True.”
“It’s not your fault. If you won’t believe me yet, then let’s focus on what you can do to make things better. I imagine this decision not to be with Becca is hurting her.”
“That’s what she claimed, but then I crashed my truck into a tree while drunk, and she had to save me.” I smirk at him. “That changed her mind about us being together.”
“Something tells me she’d forgive you again. Alcoholism is an illness. You needed help, and now you’re getting it.
“Once you’re feeling more confident in your recovery, maybe loving her would be the best way to make up for what you feel were your wrongdoings.”
He narrows his gaze on me. “But, I must reiterate that by no means do I believe you’re responsible for the tragic events you’ve told me about.”
“Loving her would be a privilege. I don’t feel I deserve it.”
“Maybe she’d find both loving you and you loving her to be a privilege. Just because you can’t believe or see something doesn’t make it false.”
“Slick, Tom. Your word wizardry is quite impressive.”
He lets out a laugh and swings the leg he has crossed over the other.
“Work on forgiving yourself, Travis. Pay respect to those who can no longer live by living your life to the fullest. Experience a rich life for Molly, and help Becca do the same.”
“It sounds so easy.”
“Then don’t make it hard. Your father’s death was from heart disease. Car accidents are called that for a reason. Becca and Molly’s accident was not your fault.”
Tom glances to the clock. “Our time is up, but please think about what we discussed.”
Chapter Thirteen
Travis
It’s Saturday, and I’m watching televised motocross in the commons area of the rehab facility. There’s a flat-screen across the room from where I’m sitting on one of the four couches. They make a square, and a massive coffee table rests in the center on a thin blue rug.
There are also a few tables and chairs set up around the rest of the room. People are playing cards at them or putting puzzles together.
I’m trying to make the time pass faster until visiting hours this afternoon. Everett is coming to see me, and I can’t wait. It’s been weeks since I’ve seen his face, and I’m used to seeing it every day.
Until now, I hadn’t agreed to let anyone visit, but I’ve since got over my cockiness. Before coming here, I wouldn’t have dreamed I’d miss Ev’s words of wisdom, but I kinda do.
Clive comes over and joins me. I know I can forget watching TV now. He never shuts up, but the old man’s growing on me.
“Got any visitors coming today?” he asks in his southern drawl.
“Yep. My brother Everett. What about you?”
Clive’s smile fades. “I don’t know a damn soul who’d come visit me. I’ve managed to piss off anyone who’s ever cared.”
“That’s a shame. Do you have any kids?”
“One daughter, and I got two granddaughters, as well. That’s what I’ve heard, anyway. I’ve never met 'em. I always did want a son, but it wasn’t in the cards. I would’ve fucked up raising him, too, so it’s for the best I didn’t have one.
“I do have two ex-wives who drove me crazy. What about you? Don’t you have a girlfriend wanting to come visit ya?”
Letting my head fall back against the sofa, I look away from him.
“No. I managed to fuck that up. I guess we’re not so different.”
“There’s a big difference between us, boy. I bet you could make it right, whereas it’s too late for me.”
“The past can’t be changed, and the problems between Becca and me can’t be fixed.”
He’s quiet as he nods. “OK, but you can always start over.”
“Have you tried that with your daughter?”
“Yep. A few times actually. They only give you so many chances, but something tells me you haven’t even taken the second one.”
“No. I fucked up that opportunity, too.”
“You’re probably carrying more anger than she’s holding toward ya. If you forgive yourself and straighten your ass up, I bet she’ll forgive you, too.”
My hand slides through my blond hair as I contemplate his words and fantasize about getting my shit together enough for Becca to want me again.
“Maybe she would.”
“Of course, you’d need to wait a while. AA strongly discourages forming romantic relationships early on in your recovery,” he says in a mocking tone as if he’s quoting words he’s heard a million times.
“She’s gorgeous, Clive. Becca’s so damn beautiful and not only on the outside. She’s sweet as ever, funny and a
dventurous. If I wait long, someone else will snatch her up.”
“Hmm … then maybe you need to become her friend. She might wait around if she feels she can trust you again.”
I smirk at him. “Maybe you should take your own advice. Get your shit together, Clive, and be your daughter’s friend.”
“Maybe I do need to take my own advice or shut the hell up, right?” He laughs and as usual, everyone hanging out in the room looks our way. For a frail guy, he’s boisterous.
“I think they should put you on the payroll here. You’ve helped me about as much as Tom.”
“Good ol’ Tom. Now, there’s a fella who’s never gettin’ a woman as long as he wears those plaid sweaters.”
I laugh. “Amen to that.”
***
I sit down at a long white table in the cafeteria. There are a dozen or so patients in here eager to see their family or friends.
I stare out the large window that makes up the upper half of the wall on the far side of the room. I soak in the light, not taking it for granted.
We don’t get to go outside much, and I miss it. That sun shining reminds me of my parents’ property that Everett now owns. I miss riding my bike and hanging out with my family there.
Everett comes through the door and spots me. As he treks toward me with a smile, I wipe my sweaty hands on my jeans and stand to hug him.
“How are ya, baby brother? It’s great to see you.”
“I’m good.” Ev sits across from me at the long white table.
“Bro, you look better than I’ve seen you in a long while.”
“Yeah, I feel a lot better physically, and my head’s clearer, too.”
He grins. “Damn, that’s good to hear. I’m happy for ya, and everyone in the family sends their love. Peyton said to tell her uncle Travis that she lost her first tooth, and the tooth fairy brought her two dollars.”
There’s an ache to my chest from the absence of my family, and my eyes tear up.
“Tell everyone I miss them, too. Oh, did you get my truck fixed?”
“It’s in the body shop now, and the guys will work under the hood when we get it back to Casteel. It should’ve been totaled out, you know.”
Fail to Trust (The Casteel Trust Series Book 2) Page 8