“Thank you Miss London,” I hear him say. As he walks away I am completely consumed by angst.
My hysterical crying must be out of control because the nurse calls for a doctor. “She needs another sedative,” she says.
Through my hysteria I hear a voice just outside my open door demanding, “Let me talk to her. I have to see her. Let me in the fucking room, damn it!”
Luke, oh God, I just can’t right now!
The nurse gives me a questioning look as I slowly shake my head no. The only thing keeping me alive is the small thread of strength that I have left within me. With him I’m far too exposed and vulnerable.
I roll to my side and clutch my arms around myself in abject heartbreak. “I love you Luke,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry. I just can’t do this. It’s too much for me right now.”
I give way to a torrent of tears.
Chapter Fourteen
Realization in Seattle
Seven weeks later
I am sitting in Professor Ruan’s office. She is our faculty advisor, and a renowned authority on wolves. She is athletic and in her forties. Natural good looks, no make-up, short, spiky, sandy-brown hair with a touch of gray—her natural color, I’d bet.
From her desk chair, she leans toward me, a kind smile on her face. “Violet,” she says, “I know you might not be quite up to it yet, but I’ve conferred with several of my colleagues and we all agree that it would be in your best interest to accompany the team on the return trip to Canada. The feedback from the cameras has given us better than expected data. What we need now is a full team effort to study the wolves firsthand. We’re so very close to obtaining government assistance on a major level for our conservation project. Please, you have worked so diligently these past years. It would be such a shame to see it go to waste.”
Quietly contemplating Professor Ruan’s offer, I glance out the window to the park below and try to quell my anxiety about returning to Haines Junction. So much transpired in the time that I was there that I’m uncertain if I have the fortitude to move beyond the heartbreak with Luke and the horror of Damon.
I’ve spent the past seven weeks shuffling between rehab therapy for my two bruised ribs, the psychiatrist’s office where I’m working on putting my mind back together, and the dermatologist for a recent skin graft on my once mess of a leg. Thank God the University’s health insurance plan covered me entirely or I would be completely screwed and in debt for heaven only knows how long.
I know that it’s always harder to do the right thing in life and my highest priority is my research, but I’m skeptical of my ability to bring anything to the team after everything that has happened. On top of it all, I haven’t even spoken to Luke since I left, despite the fact that he’s called me almost daily.
I steel my shoulders and turn to Professor Ruan, resolved. I have to find the strength left within me to finish what I started in the wilderness of the Yukon. The project is just too important to give up on, and maybe I’ll find some closure if I return to Haines Junction.
I give her my answer. “You’re right, Professor Ruan, deep down I want to complete my work more than anything and I genuinely believe that it will help me heal and put any demons to rest.” With an overdue smile I add, “I’ll go back to Canada.”
Beyond pleased she replies, “Excellent Violet, the team is set to leave in just four days, right after Christmas. However, your ticket is open, just in case you want to go back a few days early.” She gives me a polite, knowing look. After the attack, my relationship with Luke became public knowledge. No doubt she is aware of the other implications for me of returning to Haines Junction.
“I wanted to wait until the last minute to ask for your participation in hopes of giving you as much time to heal as possible. Your guidance for the others will be invaluable. Thank you Violet and best of luck.”
No time to think about fear now, girl.
Nothing could possibly be worse than what already happened to me. As I leave Professor Ruan’s office, I find that I’m actually looking forward to getting on that flight as soon as possible. I’m grateful for the chance to make things right. I owe Ross and sweet Janelle a visit. And Luke …
Epilogue
Christmas Eve
“Well thank fuck you didn’t make us work any longer up there today bro,” Hawk says. “You’ve been a total slave driver for the past two months and I’m worn out as shit. Oh great, and now I’m already late to meet Cara at Dad’s house. You sure you don’t want to join us tonight?”
Staring straight ahead, I give Hawk a tight, “Nope, pull the truck over here.”
He glances down again at his watch and says, “You’d better hurry. They close in five minutes.”
I stride into Junction Liquors knowing exactly what I’m after. Its Christmas Eve so I’m buying the good stuff: Woodford Reserve Bourbon. The largest fuckin’ bottle they have. I need it too, although it most likely won’t put a dent in what’s left of my macerated heart.
No amount of liquor has been able to keep me from thinking about Violet and the broken way she looked the last time I saw her. Her screams for me to go away still echo in my ears. I’ve called her countless times and she won’t answer, but I have a hard time being mad at her. She didn’t ask for that sick fuck to mess her up, and I’m sure it did something to her head, possibly leading her to question what we had between us. All I want is a chance to reassure her, but she won’t pick up the damn phone.
Stepping over the piles of snow to get back into Hawk’s lifted truck, I’m exhausted from the emotional war that I’ve been waging with myself. I can’t keep this up much longer. It’s killing me. The more I try to push her out of my head the more she’s right. Fucking. There.
With a glance over his shoulder, Hawk backs out of the spot and asks me, “You all right, bro? When’s the last time you ate a decent meal?”
I mumble, “Whatever, save it. Not in the mood.”
Hawk stays silent the rest of the ride to my cabin. As he rolls into the driveway I try to open the passenger door and hop out. Damn. He punches the lock before I can escape with my bourbon.
He twists toward me and says, “Hey.” He looks sincere, which is unusual for Hawk.
I really don’t want to hear any of this shit.
“I really hope to see you at Dad’s tomorrow. We all do, Luke. It wouldn’t be the same without you there, man. Oh, and answer your door in an hour and don’t fuck around about it either. I’ve sent you a prepared dinner ’cause I know you won’t make anything for yourself, you lazy bastard!”
I shake my head back and forth and try for a weak grin as he slaps me playfully on the shoulder. “Now get your sorry ass outta my truck. You’re in my girl’s seat and she’s a hell of a lot better looking than you!”
Arrogant little brother.
I lift a hand to wave as he backs down my steep, snowy drive.
Hating the silence of the cabin with a passion, I move through the living room in pursuit of my two priorities: shower and Woodford.
Feeling better after getting the sap and pine smell off of me, I’ve just finished building a massive fire when the knock at the door arrives.
Dinner. Bless Hawk, that sentimental goof.
Still fresh from the shower, I’m only sporting black Adidas track pants and bare feet as I swing the door open wide and stare out into the night air in utter shock. It takes me a minute, but I manage to say, “What the hell?”
Smiling her wistful smile, she’s far more ethereal than I ever remembered. Oh my fucking God.
I feel like a corkscrew is twisting in my heart with such intensity that I almost fall to my knees in pain.
“Hi Luke. Um, may I come in?” she asks in a shy voice.
Unable to respond, I simply step back and let her walk slowly past me. She is wearing the red coat I bought her and carrying two full brown paper bags of what appear to be groceries.
Setting them down right in the middle of the living room, she turns to me with
tears in her pretty doe eyes.
“Luke, please don’t ask me to leave before I say what I need to say. First, I never thanked you for what you did. You saved my life, Luke. I wouldn’t be standing here today if it weren’t for your intuition and brave actions. From the bottom of my heart I thank you for that. Also, I hope that you can accept my sincere apology for not seeing you or returning any of your many calls after what happened. I was, I mean I am still so messed up over what happened that I could barely hang onto my own reality, much less involve you in my horror. I just couldn’t subject you to that, especially after the nightmares you must have had to deal with on your own. I just didn’t want to add to it. Thankfully every day that goes by is a bit better. One day I hope that it will all be a distant memory.”
She pauses and takes a step toward me. “The one constant for me is the depth of emotion that I feel for you, Luke. It grows stronger each day and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that as long as I live I will never meet a man who is as unique and perfect for me as you are. I love you Luke, oh God, I love you so much.”
I’m so stunned that I’m immobile.
She completely breaks down and wraps her arms around herself as sobs wrack her tiny frame.
Through streaming tears she continues, “Hawk called me. I was at the airport in Vancouver and he told me I needed to see you. I was planning on it anyway. He told me that you would be here on Christmas Eve so I came straight here in hopes of making things right between us.”
She cocks her head in question, not understanding why I’m still frozen in place. “Luke?”
My voice isn’t cooperating and I can only manage a hoarse whisper, “Come here baby, I wanna hold you.”
She responds immediately and seconds later is wrapped in my arms. I breathe deeply into her beautiful hair. “I love you too, angel, so damn much that it nearly killed me. We’re meant to be. You know that, right? Just like two puzzle pieces.”
“Oh Luke, my magnificent man, I love you so much that my heart has trouble keeping up.”
She sobs against my bare chest as we hold each other tight. After long moments she lifts her stunning eyes to mine. “Luke, I want a fresh start for us. I want what we had together before ... before everything happened. We were given a rare gift when we found each other and it would be a tragedy to end it. What do you think?”
I stare straight into her gorgeous green eyes and respond in a clear voice, “That’s a good thing angel, ’cause I’m never letting you get away from me again. We’re going to work through this mess together. We’re stronger as a team. Je t’aime, mon ange.” Her wide eyes glitter as I repeat in English, “I love you, my angel. No one will ever love you more.”
I feel her heart beat rapidly against my chest and watch her eyes dilate with desire.
I slowly lean down to take her perfect pink lips in a darkly possessive kiss.
* * * *
Christine Edwards grew up in the Deep South on Hilton Head Island, SC. At an early age she developed a passion for the arts that led her to earn a bachelor’s degree in Art History from the College of Charleston in South Carolina.
Christine has a special place in her heart for reading and writing erotic tales. To date she has published two novellas along with two full-length novels including Claimed in Canada and Naughty in Norway (coming soon from Fanny Press). Her main focus is on loving, multi-faceted relationships involving intense alpha males and feisty heroines.
She adores snow skiing, traveling the world, and spending time with her amazing family.
Christine currently resides in the sleepy coastal town of Beaufort, SC.
You can find her on the Web at edwards.fannypress.com.
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