by K. C. Crowne
I took a deep breath and exited the bedroom. I practically tip-toed down the steps, as if to make no noise whatsoever.
This place was as secure as Fort Knox, Eli bragged all the time. No one is coming in or out of here without me knowing it.
Which meant there was no sneaking out. Not that I had a car to get me into town even if I did manage to get out the front door. I knew that the place was locked up to keep me safe, but in that moment, it started to feel like a prison.
As I reached the bottom of the steps, I heard voices in the living room. I rounded the corner and found Eli in the chair and his mother comfortably curled up on the sofa. They both turned to look at me with a smile on their face.
“Well hello, dear,” Mrs. Harvey said, sitting more upright. She patted the couch next to her. “Have a seat. Eli and I were just talking about you.”
“You were?” I asked, my eyes darting between Eli and Mrs. Harvey.
“Oh nothing bad,” Mrs. Harvey said. “Just about the good times, that’s all.”
Eli looked down at his hands and I swear his cheeks turned a few shades pinker.
“The good times?” I remained standing at the corner of the couch, my stomach twisting and turning into knots.
“Yes, high school and all that,” Eli muttered. He finally met my gaze, and my heart nearly stopped in my chest. I could be carrying his baby, I thought. Again. I pushed those thoughts out of my head.
“Oh yes, of course,” I said, feigning a smile.
“Is everything okay?” Eli asked.
“Well, yes, but--you know, I’m feeling a bit cooped up these days. I know that we have to be careful until we know for sure if Peter was behind Jenny’s death and all, but I was thinking a little time out of the house would be good for me.”
“Absolutely!” Mrs. Harvey said. “What did you have in mind? Maybe the two of you could check out Felicity’s new restaurant outside of town? I hear it’s really nice.”
“Mom,” Eli said under his breath.
“What? I think a night out would be good for the two of you. Don’t you agree, Charlotte?”
“To be honest, I would really just like a trip to the shops, if that’s alright with you.”
“Oh certainly,” Mrs. Harvey said, though disappointed was clear in her voice. “Whatever it is you want, dear.”
I glanced over at Eli. I knew that he would want to come along, for my safety, but I would have to sneak away at some point to grab what I needed. A little hard when you literally had a private security guard looking after you. I now realized what it must be like for celebrities and politicians, and I didn’t envy them one little bit.
“Would you like to go now?” he asked.
“Whenever you’re ready.” I wanted to go right then but didn’t want to seem too eager or bossy either.
“Now is fine with me,” he said.
I thought Mrs. Harvey might offer to join us, but instead she offered a small wave and a knowing smile. It was pretty obvious what she was up to, and honestly, I felt better without her tagging along. I might be able to convince Eli to let me go into a store alone, but Mrs. Harvey, though well-meaning, was one nosy woman, and she picked up on clues that others would miss. She was so eager for Eli and I to end up together, that any hint that I might be carrying his child would likely be reason for her to celebrate, and I didn’t want to get her hopes up. Even if I was pregnant, there was no guarantee that things with Eli and I would progress much further.
God, the last thing I wanted was to get her hopes up.
Or mine.
Ooo000ooo
“Do you mind if I pop into the pharmacy for a second? I need to pick up something a little personal,” I said, biting my lip and praying that Eli wouldn’t ask too many questions.
“Oh sure, you want me to go with you or--”
“If you don’t mind waiting for me outside? I’ll only be a minute.”
Eli furrowed his brow as he thought it over. He glanced at the pharmacy with the big, open windows on the front. He seemed to scope the place out, basing some of it on memory. “There’s only one entrance and exit,” he said slowly. “I guess it should be fine. I’ll watch the door.”
I hoped that the pregnancy tests were out of sight from the big, open windows, but it was better than nothing.
“Thanks, Eli.”
“You’re welcome. I don’t really like controlling and watching your every move, you know? I want you to have your freedom.”
“I know, and I appreciate it.”
I knew that Eli was only trying to watch out for me, and I did appreciate it. He had never been the controlling type who wanted to know where I was at every second of the day, and I was grateful for that. We were simply in an unusual and precarious situation.
I slipped into the pharmacy, and my eyes darted around. I tried to think where the pregnancy tests might be located. I walked through the store, checking out every aisle when my eyes fell on a familiar face.
“Crap,” I whispered to myself as I hid behind a display of Q-tips and cotton balls. God, sometimes I really hated small towns.
I apparently hadn’t hidden fast enough, however, since Graham’s voice caught me by surprise.
“Oh, hey Charlotte. Eli let you out of the house?”
I cringed as I moved from behind my hiding spot but plastered a smile on my face to make it look like I was pleasantly surprised to have run into Graham.
“He’s outside. I told him I needed to pick up some personal items, you know.” I motioned toward the tampons on the far wall.
Graham offered a crooked grin. “I’ve never known Eli to be afraid of some tampons. He used to pick them up for you all the time, if I remember correctly.”
“Yeah, but that was different-- and it’s not like he was afraid, it’s just, personal for me, you know.” I rambled on, knowing that I made little sense, but hoping Graham bought my story.
“Sure, don’t let me keep ya,” Graham said. “I need to pick up some diapers for the baby.”
I turned on my heels and made a beeline for the tampons, only to realize that the diapers were - wouldn’t you know it - directly across from the pregnancy tests. Because what better reminder of the responsibility you were about to embark on with a positive test than being inundated with baby supplies.
I stood near the tampons at the far corner of the aisle, pretending to check out the different absorbencies.
Graham seemed to be doing the same, only with diapers, further down the aisle.
“You’d think by the second baby, I’d know what I was doing,” Graham chuckled. “I’m going to need to message Emmy and ask for the size again, the littlest one is growing so fast.”
I picked up another pack of tampons and pretended to read the back.
Of all the brothers to be in this situation with, I thought, it had to be the one that likely hated me the most.
“Listen,” Graham said from behind me. “I’m sorry if I’ve been a little cold to you since you came into town.”
With the box of tampons in hand, I turned to Graham in surprise.
“It’s okay. I understand, considering what happened between your brother and me.”
“It’s just-- He really struggled after you left. He almost got discharged from the Navy due to his mental health and all.”
My heart dropped. “I didn’t know that.”
“Yeah, he isn’t the type to talk about things like that. He really loved you, he would have done anything for you,” Graham said. “And I’m afraid he still might.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but no words came out. I wasn’t sure how to respond to that, honestly.
Thankfully, I didn’t have to.
“Ah, that’s Emmy. She even sent a picture so I know exactly which ones to buy now,” Graham said with a smile. He walked over and grabbed the diapers from the shelf. “It’s good seeing you, Charlotte. All I ask is that you please be careful with Eli and know that he would give up everything for you in a hea
rtbeat. Please don’t ask him to do that unless you’re willing to do the same for him.”
With that, Graham waved and walked toward the registers.
And that’s when I realized I was still holding the stupid tampons.
My hands were shaking as I put them on the shelf, and after triple checking that the coast was clear, I hurried over to the pregnancy tests and grabbed several different kinds since I didn’t have time to read all of them.
I hurried to the end of the aisle and checked the registers for any sign of Graham in the lines.
Thankfully, he seemed to have already left.
I waited behind an old man who literally counted out pennies to pay for his Metamucil. I rocked back and forth on my feet, constantly checking the door.
Eli waved to me from the window outside. I waved back but made sure to keep the pregnancy tests tucked to my other side.
“That should be enough,” the old man said in front of me.
“No, sir, you’re twenty cents short,” the cashier said.
“No, I counted it out carefully,” the old man said. “It’s exact. Count it again.”
I sighed and looked toward the door again. Eli gave me a questioning look, as if to ask me what was taking so long. I shrugged and motioned toward the man in front of me.
“See? You’re twenty cents short, sir,” the cashier said.
“No, I know how much I counted only a minute ago, let me try this again--”
Eli reached for the handle of the door and panic struck.
I stepped up to the front and plopped down a dollar bill. “Here, I’ll cover it. Keep the change even.”
“Miss, I don’t need your charity--”
The cashier took my dollar bill and the rest of the old man’s change and cashed him out. The old man glared at me and wouldn’t take the change. He grabbed his items and stepped away from the counter.
I plopped the tests down and blurted out, “Can I get a bag for these, please?”
“Sure,” the cashier said, ringing them up one at a time. I cursed at myself for buying several now. He put them in the bag after he rang them up.
Just as the last one was placed in the bag, I heard Eli’s voice.
“Is everything okay?”
My heart leaped out of my chest, and I flipped around to face him.
“Yes, everything is fine. Sorry, I ran into Graham earlier and we got to talking, and then the man in front of me paid in pennies and--”
“Your total is $35.99” the cashier said.
I swung back around and dropped a $50 on the counter. I knew better than pay with credit or debit cards; those could be tracked.
I grabbed the bag as quickly as possible and stuck it into my purse as the cashier counted out my change.
If Eli noticed anything, he didn’t say.
“Yeah, Graham told me he ran into you, and gave me shit about not buying your tampons. Seriously, Char, you don’t have to be embarrassed about things like that with me.”
“I know, thank you. Can we go home now?” I asked as we moved toward the door.
“Are you finished in town?”
“Yeah, I think so. I got enough fresh air; I think I should be good for a bit.”
“Alright,” Eli said, giving me a strange look as he held open the pharmacy doors for me. “Are you sure you’re okay, Charlotte? You’ve been acting a bit strange all day.”
Probably because I hate lying to you, I thought to myself. But I also remembered Graham’s words - this man would do anything for me. If he thought I was pregnant with his child, the hope it would give him… and then, if it turned out it wasn’t true or if things turned out the way it did before, he’d be devastated.
Eli was one of the strongest men I knew, but he was also incredibly sentimental and loving. He had a heart as big as his body, and he wore it on his sleeve. I had done everything I could to save him from the emotional fallout of the last pregnancy, and I’d be damned if I got his hopes up about this one.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I lied, gritting my teeth. “There’s just a lot going on, as you know.”
“Yeah, I know. But I’m always here to talk if you need me.”
“I know, Eli,” I said softly. “Thank you.”
Ooo000ooo
Safely back at home, I made a beeline for my room. I locked the door and went into the attached bathroom, pulling out the pile of tests. I dug through until I found one that simply said “Pregnant” or “Not Pregnant” as I didn’t want to deal with deciphering pink or blue lines and wanted no misunderstanding.
Once I had one picked out, I took the test and waited the excruciating few minutes, careful not to disrupt the test as it sat on the countertop. I didn’t even look until the time went off on my phone.
Alright Charlotte, this is it, I said to myself as I took a deep breath.
I stared down at the test, picking it up to make sure I read it clearly.
Pregnant.
My heart literally stopped, and it felt like I froze as the rest of the world sped around me. I felt dizzy, and I had to sit down on the toilet because my knees felt weak.
Pregnant.
I knew from my research that false positives were rare, but just to be sure, I took the second test in the package.
And again, it came back positive.
My head was spinning, and I had no idea what I was going to do. I did the math, thinking back to my last period, and the last time I’d been with Peter… it had been months, honestly, because I just wasn’t that into him anymore. Which meant that there was only one possible father for my child.
Eli.
I had been so careless when we hooked up. We should have used a condom, but it all happened so fast and it just felt so safe. Clearly, we weren’t safe enough though.
A knock on the door caused me to jump up from the toilet and nearly scream out loud. I managed to mutter a “Yes?”
“Hey, it’s me, can we talk?” Eli’s tone made me think it was serious. Did he somehow find out about the pregnancy tests? I knew I would have to tell him, eventually, but I was still dealing with it all myself. I needed to figure out where we stood with each other, and I just needed the world to calm down for five minutes so I could breathe. I needed to think. This wasn’t something I wanted him to find out because I blurted it out. There was so much to consider, and I wasn’t in the right headspace to deal with that.
“Sure, give me one second,” I called back.
I tossed the used pregnancy tests in the trash can, making sure to wrap them in toilet paper first - just in case. The other packages were tossed into my toiletries bag, and I zipped it up. I double checked that there were no signs of the tests anywhere before I let Eli in. I didn’t want him finding out that way.
I made myself count to ten and take a few steady breaths, then I unlocked it and opened the door.
“Everything okay?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow.
“Yes, everything is fine. I was just--” I tried to think of something, anything, and my mind drew a blank. Finally, I blurted out, “I was laying down. I have a headache.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said. “Can I get you something for it?”
“No, I’m fine. Usually just rest helps.”
“I can come back later if you’d prefer?”
My mind raced - what did he want to talk to me about? I didn’t think sending him away would be good for my anxiety.
“No, come in,” I said. “What did you want to talk about?”
Eli walked into the room, and I motioned for him to sit in the chair. I went over to the bed.
“The police in Tennessee aren’t getting back to you, are they?”
“No, they don’t seem to be all that responsive, why?”
“Well, I talked to Teddy, and he suggests we file a police report in person. Get everything in writing, just so we’re clear they have a record of it and all.”
“So you’re saying we go to Tennessee?” My stomach turned, and I wasn’t sure if it was f
rom the idea of possibly running into Peter again or because of the baby growing inside of me. Maybe a little of both.
“If you would be open to the idea, yes. Of course, I’d go with you, so you wouldn’t be doing this alone.”
I thought about Jenny. How she had been so young and full of potential, and how all of that was stripped away. I wasn’t sure if a police report would do much good now, after the fact, but it was better than nothing.
“If there’s any way I can help bring justice for Jenny, then yes, I’m willing to do it.”
My mind went to the child growing inside of me, and reflexively, I placed a protective hand on my still-flat belly. I quickly removed it once I realized what it might look like.
I had to think about my child now too. I needed to be careful. Avoid stress. Avoid Peter. None of that would be easy, but it could be done.
“Just a quick trip back, to the police station, and then back here,” Eli said, as if he read my mind. “I mean, if you want to come back here, that is.”
“I still don’t feel safe in Tennessee with Peter, especially now,” I said.
“I agree, and I’d feel a lot better having you here. I can protect you in Tennessee too, I wouldn’t leave you alone, but the distance from Peter and being here, in a house that I know is secure, puts my mind at ease.”
I looked up and met his gaze. He was so protective of me, even after all that I had done to him. I knew he would be just as protective of the baby, likely more so if he knew.
And my heart swelled at the thought of it. For a brief moment, I felt intense joy at the thought of having his baby, even though we had no freaking clue what we were doing and I was in one hell of a mess.
“Alright then, let’s do this,” I said.
Chapter 14
Eli
Charlotte offered to pay for the trip. She even forced me to take her card. I wasn’t planning on using it. I had more than enough to cover this trip - plus some. My dad dying and leaving us with more money than we’ll ever need in a lifetime meant I could pay for things like this without thinking twice about hitting the “buy” button. I knew Charlotte was well off, even without Peter, but her life was about to drastically change. She’d need whatever money she had to settle down, get a new home, and secure her new life - wherever she decided to end up.