by Sara Evans
“Don’t blame the fates, Jade. Own up to what’s yours. Maybe you didn’t know about the annulment, but you could’ve at least told me you were married before.”
“And then what?” She stopped so fast he almost bumped her. “Would you have done some PI work on your lying little fiancée to make sure she was indeed single?”
She started walking for the park’s merry-go-round. Midmorning, there had better not be a crowd.
“I might have checked it out, just to make sure.”
“Ooh, I bet your mom is loving this.” After the merry-go-round, a chocolate shake from Froggers. A big one. Maybe two.
“She doesn’t know, Jade. She mentioned to Dad how interesting it was that you’d been married before, and he mentioned to me—”
“So you opened the investigation?” Jade whirled toward him, faking a belly laugh. “What great communication you have in your family. Does Rebel relish being in the middle? The stoolie? ‘June, Max’s fiancée is a heathen.’ ‘Ooo, Max, your little girlfriend was married.’ And by the way, Señor Nosy, did it occur to you to call and ask me before you went snooping into my business?”
The music from the merry-go-round spurred her forward. Under her heavy stride, yellow-brown leaves crackled.
“Did it occur to you that being married before, at sixteen no less, might not fall under the past-is-the-past clause? And why is this bothering you so much? Why can’t you just say, ‘Gee, Max, yeah, I was married. Sorry, I thought it was annulled.’”
“Hm, I did say that, and you called me a liar.”
“You admitted to lying.”
Jade swung around. “To the state of Iowa, not to you.”
“Yes, to me. You sat in Reverend Girden’s office and said, ‘Nope, I’ve never been married.’ Let’s just clear the air, is there a kid or two you haven’t mentioned?”
“Yeah, Max, I hid them in my bedroom, taking them out to play when you’re not around.”
He pinched her arm. “You could’ve put a baby up for adoption.”
“There’s no baby, Max.” She held steady. “No adoption.”
Mr. Hannity, the park’s maintenance man and merry-go-round jockey, spotted Jade as she pulled away from Max and waved her over. “Come for a ride, Jade? Not many more nice days like this left. That you, Max? Haven’t seen you in the park on a weekday since you was in high school.”
“Ah, Mr. Hannity, now that’s downright depressing,” Max said, keeping up with Jade as she picked up her pace.
A couple of moms were herding their little ones toward the mechanical horse race. Beating out a couple of dirty-faced rug rats, Jade hopped on a chocolate brown pony with a red saddle. Max threw his leg over the pink one next to her. The short pink one.
“Why did you say no in Reverend Girden’s office?”
“Mr. Hannity, let’s go.” Jade smacked the neck of her fiberglass steed.
“Jade, I know I came on strong at the shop, and I’m sorry. But, babe, you need to know we have a technical difficulty.” Max rested his forehead against the gold-plated pony pole. “We can’t locate Dustin Colter. And if we can’t locate him, we’re not getting married a week from Saturday.”
“See what happens when you go snooping?” The ride lights flashed; it was getting ready to begin. “If you’d have left the past in the past, this would’ve never come up and we’d be getting married, no worries.”
“And claim innocence if caught? I suppose so. But we did find out. I could be disbarred if I knowingly marry a married woman.”
Jade sat on her stationary mount, silent. The breeze cooled her face and cleared the heat from her eyes. “Why’d you do it? Investigate without asking me.”
“Didn’t even occur to me. I asked Stella to run a check, and once she discovered your marriage intact, the process took on a life of its own. I wondered, who was this man, this boy, who captured Jade’s heart before me? What was his name? Where did he live? How old was he? The news left a pit feeling in my stomach.”
She couldn’t look at him. “Getting over Dustin was the hardest thing I ever had to do, Max. He caused me a lot of pain. More than anyone knows. And frankly, I planned to never think about him again.” She tapped her engagement ring against the pole. “Hey, Mr. Hannity, is this thing ever going to start spinning?”
“Simmer down, girl. Give a man a chance.”
Two little girls raced across the grass, yelling for Mr. Hannity to wait. They jumped on the platform and stopped by Max and Jade, staring at them with Precious Moments eyes.
The brown-eyed girl gazed at Jade. “That’s my favorite pony.”
“So? I was here first. Get another pony. Look, there’s a red-and-black one over there.”
“But I like chocolate.”
Meanwhile, the hazel-eyed child glowered at Max. “The others are too big for me.”
“Well, we’re riding these ponies this time.” Jade shooed the girls with a flick of her hand.
The girls’ eyes welled up, and Jade gave the brown-eyed one a twisted-lip expression. Might as well learn now, life isn’t fair. In fact, it can be downright painful. Best to learn it when you’re young. Walls take time to build.
“That’s it.” Max grabbed Jade by the waist and lifted her off her horse.
“Hey!”
Holding on to her, he motioned at the horses with his chin. “You girls can have our horses.”
“They aren’t real horses, you know!” Jade called over her shoulder, squirming, working her elbows into Max’s ribs. “And that one’s not real chocolate!”
“What’s the matter with you? Act your age.” Max steered her toward one of the sleighs and shoved her in.
“You act yours.” She thumped down on the seat, crossing her arms, setting her stubborn chin away from Max.
He sat next to her as the merry-go-round lights went up and the music began.
Dustin. Of all the blasts from the past. He was not supposed to be in the middle of her relationship with Max. His name didn’t deserve the honor of her breath.
“The other night,” Max started, “you trusted me enough to tell me about your dad. Can’t you trust me about Dustin?”
“It’s not about trusting you, Max. It’s about forgetting. Leaving the past in the past.” She gazed down at her hands. “Guess that’s becoming a cliché by now.”
“What are you trying to hide?”
“Nothing.” She shook her head. All her emotions were settling at the bottom of her soul and the waters of her heart began to calm. “I just want to be happy, Max.”
“I want you to be happy, too. Very. Look, I don’t want you to slice open a healed wound just so I can have the details.” He turned her chin so she’d face him. “But I want you to know, I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you. Please, tell me what happened.”
She peered into his eyes, feeling his words. “No offense, Max, but you don’t know you’ll always be there for me. Daddy said he loved me, then he left. Dustin promised me forever. Shoot, even Mama ran out on us kids from time to time. What really scares me though . . . maybe it’s not you who will run one day, but me.”
Seventeen
Prairie City, June 1996
Jade clung to Dustin’s hand. They’d driven all the way to Deep River without saying a word, just listened to the radio. But they were actually going through with their plan.
A shiver caused her legs to twitch.
“He’s finishing his supper. Two shakes and he’ll be right out.” The wife of the justice of the peace scrutinized them from the kitchen doorway, arms akimbo, lips pinched tight.
“Thanks.” Dustin’s voice cracked.
“Go on in the parlor.” She motioned to the boxy room to the right and disappeared.
The parlor was cluttered with magazines and newspapers, a couple of old radios and two TVs, powered on but muted. The pungent odor of sauerkraut stung the air.
“Are you nervous?” Dustin whispered, hugging her to him.
“A little.”
Jade’s knees shimmied with a nervous chill.
“Are we really doing this?” Dustin released her, peering out the side window.
Stu and Rachel waited outside.
“Well, don’t you kids look nice.” The JP appeared in a faded plaid shirt and worn dungarees. His wispy gray hair was combed forward from the crown of his head, and wiry whiskers grew from the sides of his ears.
“I’m Dustin.” He stretched to shake the man’s hand, his words fast and shaky. “This is Jade. You married my cousin Bart and his wife two years ago.”
“Good for me. Sorry about the mess. The missus is a collector.” The JP shuffled through a stack of books and binders by a wooly brown easy chair. “Gwyn, where’s my book?”
“How should I know?” came through the wall.
“Here . . .” The JP offered up a worn leather binder. “Do you have the license? The Bulls play in fifteen minutes, and I’d like to see the game if it’s all the same to you.” The man scratched his protruding belly.
“Yes . . . yes.” Dustin patted his pockets. “You think the Bulls will win the championship with Jordan back on the team, sir? I must have left the license in the truck.” He started out the door, Jade on his heels.
“Bring the signed notes from your parents. I’m guessing neither of you is eighteen.” The JP arched his eyebrows as he dropped his chin to his chest.
“Yes, sir. Our parents gave their permission. We do have the notes, and a license.”
“Yet you came to see me, a Deep River JP.”
“Yes, sir. My cousin recommended—”
“So I heard.”
Jade squeezed Dustin’s arm. Blowing out a long breath, he squeezed her hand three times. I. Love. You.
“Our best man and maid of honor are outside. They can come in, too, can’t they?”
“Unless they have X-ray vision and can witness through the walls.”
“Right.” Dustin took a step and banged into the door, nodding to the JP. “Be right back.” He smashed the handle on the screen door and darted onto the porch.
Scurrying down the steps, Jade laughed. “Are you scared, cowboy?”
The JP poked his head out the door. “Don’t forget the fifty-dollar fee.”
At the truck, Dustin opened the driver’s side door, then swooped her into his arms. “No, I’m not scared. We’re getting married, baby.”
“Pinch me, I’m dreaming.” She buried her face against him, inhaling all of his goodness.
Could this boy really want her? Straight-laced, smart, clever Dustin Colter, last year’s prom king runner-up and, as he said, “wrestling stud”?
Stu, his best friend, and Rachel, Jade’s best friend, jumped out of Stu’s Camaro.
“Stu, I need the license.” Dustin dug around his glove box. “Didn’t you see me put it in here?”
“Look at you, Jade-o. Last fall, he’d just asked you to homecoming.” Rachel slipped her arm through Jade’s, smiling her trademark hooked smile.
“Shannon Bell cornered me in the restroom. Remember?”
“She was so jealous.” Rachel laughed. “Thought she had Dustin in her hip pocket.”
“This is insane.” Jade’s legs shook, and the hem of her flared skirt brushed her knees. Wild. Exciting. But insane.
“I need the parents’ notes. The JP wants to see them.” Dustin’s head popped out from the other side of the truck. “Rach, weren’t they with the license?”
“Men, good grief. Step aside.” Rachel crawled into the cab, her feet sticking out over the seat, her flip-flops slipping from her toes.
Looking back now, Jade knew she’d fallen in love with Dustin during homecoming. He never left her side that night, refusing to let other boys cut in. Turning down girls who asked him to dance.
When the DJ played Elvis singing “I Can’t Help Falling in Love,” Jade nestled her head on Dustin’s chest and whispered the lyrics to his heart.
As he drove her home that night, she convinced herself the midnight hour had come and her Cinderella evening was only a fairy godmother dream. Monday morning, she’d be girl-in-math-class again.
Eight months later, he proposed by a moon-washed lake after prom. Watching him by the truck, laughing over something with Stu, Jade’s muscles twitched under her skin and the ground seemed to shake beneath her feet. As much as she wanted nothing—no fears or doubt, no Granny-tainted wisdom— to rob her of this perfect night, she had to remind Dustin one more time.
“Let’s go.” He grabbed her hand. “Got the license, the signatures, the money. Times a-wasting. Bulls are about to tip off.”
“Dustin, wait.” Jade tugged on his belt loop, dragging him toward the thick-rooted tree in the front yard. “Let me talk to you for a second.”
“Gorgeous, can it wait?” He walked with her, stealing kisses and sneaking peeks down her top.
“Stop, listen.” She wrestled with his hands. He’d better pay attention, because after tonight, she’d never mention this again. He’d have no excuse. “Dustin.”
He backed up with a heavy breath, fixing the tuck of his shirt. “What’s up? Make it quick. I’m ready to get married.”
“I just, um, wondered, you know . . .” Jade’s urgent, desperate statement caught in her throat. “You could have anyone, Dustin. Any girl in Prairie City. Are you sure you want to marry me?”
“Is that what this is about?” He sobered, sliding his fingers around her neck. Heat bumps ran over her skin. “I love you, Jade. I want to marry you.” His kiss was soft at first, then hungry, wooing her to him.
When he released her, she felt mushy and ready to surrender. “But marriage?” She stammered out the last of her argument. “You’re only seventeen. I’m sixteen. This is your senior year.” The power of Jade’s challenge startled her, and she understood her words could convince him to change his mind.
“So what? I’ve always known what I wanted. Be the baseball team’s pitcher? Earned the spot in one season. Want a new truck? I tossed hay bales for three summers to pay for it. When I switched from football to wrestling, everyone said I came too late to the game. Went to regionals my first year. I knew, Jade, here.” He slapped his hand to his heart. “I could do it.”
“But this is marriage, Dust. Not sports. Not a truck.”
“The first day I met Stu, I knew we’d be best friends for life. And that was way back in fourth grade. I signed up for AP classes, and everyone said it’d be too much with sports. My parents, my counselors, my coach. So far, I’ve never gotten anything below a B.”
Jade tugged at his shirt sleeve, loving his reasoning and that it was overpowering hers. “Marriage, Dustin. Marriage. Fifty percent of them fail in this country. My mom’s on her third.”
“My parents were high school sweethearts. They’re still going strong. Jade, I’m telling you, I know you’re the one I’m meant to spend my life with. I have no doubt.” He kissed her with a confident touch. “Outside of Stu, you’re my best friend. I wake up thinking about you. Go to sleep wondering if I’ll get to see you before the first bell. Last week I had Mom take the phone out of my room so I could study without being tempted to call you every five minutes.”
Her heart bounced at his confessions. “I kiss your picture at night and pretend you’re holding me, telling me everything is going to be all right, that I’m safe with you. I love you, Dustin. But I’m not so rosy-eyed to believe young love always lasts.” Jade, don’t blow this. He loves you. What would her days be like without him? Brooding and dark, a Transylvanian dungeon.
“Remember during homecoming? You asked me why I invited you,” Dustin said gently, running his finger under her chin and along the edge of her jaw.
“Yeah, and I still can’t believe you chose me.” His touch created chills on her warm skin and caused her eyes to mist.
“I asked you because I was tired of watching you from afar.” He grinned. “The girl I pushed out of a corn field when she wrecked her granddad’s truck. The girl I tried to casually bump into between
classes for the next year, or sit next to during lunch. I changed math teachers so I could be in your class. Should’ve seen the counselor’s face when I gave her my reason. Something stupid like, ‘Ten o’clock is my best hour for math. Peak time for my brain.’ By homecoming, I’d just gotten tired of pretending. Jade, you don’t know it, but you’re one of the coolest girls in school.” He grinned, entangling his fingers with hers. “It’s one of the reasons you are so cool. Beautiful, wide-eyed, innocent. Listen, I’m sworn to secrecy as a guy, but the locker room talk . . .”
“I’m talked about in the locker room?” Ew.
Dustin held up his free hand. “You’re the girl all the guys want to end up with one day. I just discovered you first.”
“Hey, you two, save it for the honeymoon. What’s going on over there?” Stu banged his fist against the side of Dustin’s truck. “Let’s go. I’m hungry.”
“Stu—” Rachel’s smack and his “ouch” punctured the night. “Does everything have to be about you?”
“Be right there . . .” Dustin tugged Jade toward the JP’s porch. “Stu’s right, we can talk on the honeymoon. All one night of it.”
“Dustin—” Jade planted her heels, ready to march out her final thought. “You can have me without marrying me.” Did he get what she was too shy to say? In their eight months of dating, they’d come close to making love many times, but Dustin was always the one to stop, shove away. Not like this, Jade. “We don’t have to be married, you know. We can . . . do it.”
Mama’s over-the-shoulder advice was a distant echo in her mind. Jade-o,explore your sexuality. Sixteen isn’t too young. I was seventeen in the Summer of Love, you know.
“I know.” Dustin bumped her body with his. “But I don’t want it to be that way, Jade. You deserve better. You’re worth more.” He squeezed her fingers. “I want you, bad. Lots of nights I wondered why we didn’t . . .” In the light from the porch, she could see the shine of his eyes. “But it never felt right. Guess it was the way I was raised, going to church and all. This feels right. Marrying you. The way it’s supposed to be. I don’t want to just ‘do it.’ Any lug head can ‘do it.’ I want it to mean what it’s supposed to mean.”