“Hello, my name is Sylvia, and I’m a psychiatric nurse practitioner. I’ll be assisting Dr. Cruson today, and your family physician, Dr. Neiman, will be on standby as well. Largely, this will go the same as every other session with Dr. Cruson. The only difference is that I will be present and taking notes. Hopefully, by the end of this session we will have a better understanding of what’s going on and then go from there,” Sylvia said, before turning directly to Cody, and giving him a smile no one would have guessed she was capable of producing.
“How does that sound to you? Does that sound like a plan?” she asked. Cody merely nodded, and then looked at his therapist for guidance.
“Well, now that that’s all settled, I’m going to turn the floor over to Dr. Cruson.”
“Thank you, Sylvia,” Dr. Cruson said, and then turned to his patient, “Cody, as I explained to your mother a short while ago, I would like to meet who you call the other Cody. I understand that so far he has only come out at night, but I would like to test if his appearance is tied to your sleep cycle. So, we have set up a secure environment for you to rest, and possibly reveal this other Cody to us. How do you feel about that?”
Though his facial expression didn’t change, one look at Cody’s eyes presented the feelings of sheer terror within.
“I really would rather not, but I’m willing to do anything to get better. If this is what it takes, then I’ll do it,” he said with words more sure than he felt.
“I guarantee that you will be perfectly safe here. The medical staff is trained to handle a multitude of scenarios, and your mother and I as well as Sylvia will be with you the entire time. You have nothing to fear,” Dr. Cruson added, and Cody simply nodded.
He was then directed to the bed, and told to sleep. With three people staring at him, it took a lot longer than his body wanted it to, but eventually he managed.
“How long does it usually take for an episode to occur?” Sylvia asked.
“Normally within an hour so,” Kelly answered.
“Then we wait.”
***
The moment Cody opened his eyes he was met with something he hadn’t seen in ages: sunlight. Its presence perfectly highlighted the fact that he was in a place he had never been before.
“What the hell?” he whispered as his eyes rapidly darted around the room.
“Cody?” Dr. Cruson called, and widened blue eyes quickly snapped to his location. “Do you know who I am?”
“Of course, why wouldn’t I? You’re my shrink,” Cody said as he rose from the bed. He then realized he was in a hospital gown, and grew agitated.
“Where the hell am I? How did I get here? Who the hell is that?” he asked after he further assessed his location.
“Cody, please remain calm. You are at Beaumont Children’s Hospital in Royal Oak, Michigan. Your mother and I have brought you here to determine what has been ailing you. Sylvia, the woman standing across the way, is here to assist us,” Dr. Cruson slowly explained.
Cody trained his gaze on the unfamiliar woman and noticed that she hadn’t stopped writing since he woke up. He had seen that fast and intense style of writing many times before. Dr. Cruson was notorious for it.
“No fucking way! Is this a mental hospital?”
“No, it is not. You are at a general hospital that has psychiatric services available, if they are needed.”
“Well, they’re not needed, because I’m not crazy!”
Cody then made a move to bolt from the room, and Sylvia discreetly shifted her position to bar him from exiting. Hurriedly, Dr. Cruson stepped in between the two to regain control of the situation.
“Cody, please relax. No one present believes that you are crazy. We are here because a lot has happened, and before we can move forward, we need to all be on the same page. In order to do that, I need to ask you a few questions. They may seem silly or mundane, but it is absolutely important that you answer them truthfully. Are you willing do that?”
For a long while, Cody just stared at him. He watched the psychologist with an intensity that many people would have found unnerving, but Dr. Cruson met his gaze unflinchingly.
“Yeah, I can do that,” Cody finally said, and then walked over to look out the window.
“Thank you, Cody. Please have a seat, and let us begin.”
“I’d rather stand.”
The statement was said with such force that it gave Dr. Cruson pause. In the grand scheme of things, however, he decided that it wasn’t worth quibbling over.
“That is fine. Let’s start with the simplest of questions. What is your full name?”
“Cody Simon Winters.”
“What is your date of birth?”
“April 24, 1999.”
“What are the names of your parents?”
“Kelly Amanda Winters and Robert Clark Winters.”
“Very good. Let’s move on to some slightly more difficult questions.”
Though the timbre and inflection of Dr. Cruson’s voice had remained unchanged, he was growing increasingly concerned at Cody’s deteriorating state. When the questioning first began, Cody was just staring blankly at the outdoors. Now, that had quickly switched to him rapidly pacing from corner to corner with tension visibly coiling within his body.
“What is the last memory that you can recall?”
“Going online.”
“When did this take place?”
“I don’t know. Days aren’t making sense to me anymore. The calendar on my laptop said that it was November 17, 2014.”
“Why aren’t days making sense to you?”
“Because every time I look at a calendar, it’s a damn different day, and I know that it shouldn’t be!”
Now Cody was shaking as he wrapped his arms around himself in what appeared to be a futile attempt to calm down. This gave Dr. Cruson the signal that it was time to abort the session.
“Cody, how about we take a break? It is approaching lunch time, so let’s get a bite to eat, and then perhaps–”
“Ask your questions. I know you. The only time you end a session early is when you think a person is fucked up; I’m not. Ask your questions.”
With those words, Sylvia finally stopped writing to look at Kelly and Dr. Cruson. Kelly looked as though she was witnessing a horrific accident. Dr. Cruson, however, was wearing a very slight smile. One of the ways he had built rapport with the boy had been to let him speak as freely as he pleased during their sessions, and his latest remark reminded him of the boy he had first met, instead of the one he had been seeing for the past six months.
“Very well. How about you tell me the last memory you can recall before days stopped making sense to you.”
“Before days stopped making sense…”
Cody’s brow furrowed as he gave the task his full concentration. Then, almost instantaneously, his eyes widened in recognition before he collapsed to his knees, holding his head.
“Oh God, why did you have to ask that? Out of all the things to ask, you asked that. You’re killing me, Doc. You’re killing me,” he said while crying.
Completely thrown off his game by the reaction, Dr. Cruson quickly changed the topic, all the while silently cursing himself for not aborting the session as he initially intended.
“Forget that I asked that. Let’s focus on your most recent memory. You said that you last remember going online. What did you do while you were online?” he asked with his voice slightly strained. Cody was still clutching his head, but his hysterical sobbing was abating.
“I searched the internet and did some writing,” he said, sounding exhausted.
“This writing that you were doing, is it something that you do often?” Dr. Cruson asked, remembering the footage he had seen. Never before in any of their sessions to date had Cody mentioned any writings, but the crazed way he had typed on the film made them a topic of interest to the psychologist.
“I write every day,” Cody said slowly with suspicion.
“Interesting, I neve
r knew that. Writing is often a great window into one’s thoughts and emotions. Please, tell me a bit about your writings.”
Instead of answering, Cody turned narrowed eyes towards his mother, whose presence he had largely ignored up until then.
“You’ve been talking to Sean, haven’t you?” he asked with disgust.
“What–”
“Admit it! Sean is the only one that knows I keep an online journal. It’s private and I’ve had it for years without anyone knowing about it, now all of a sudden Cruson is asking about online writing? That’s bullshit, and you know it! Sean, what the hell man? Did you give her my password, too?” Cody ranted, while Kelly was still whirling from going from being an innocent bystander to being interrogated.
“Cody, I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about. Sean didn’t tell me anything. I didn’t know about your journal until you just told me.”
“You’re lying! Why do you always have to do that? Why do you take everybody away from me? Do you really hate me that much? I know that I wasn’t planned, and was never what you wanted, but I tried. I tried so hard, and loved you so much, but it was never enough. I’m never enough for you to love me,” Cody said through sobs.
Completely at a loss, Kelly swiftly approached her son, and then crouched beside his kneeling form.
“Cody, where the hell did you get that idea?” she asked, while also crying, “I love you more than anything in this world, including life itself. I would do anything for you, which is why I’m here with you. You have to listen to me. You’re not yourself right now. Something dreadful has happened, and it has changed you so much. Listen to yourself. This is crazy.”
No sooner than that word left Kelly’s mouth, Cody backhanded her, and she crashed to the floor a few feet away. Quickly, she brought her hand up to her mouth to catch the blood and block the air from reaching the exposed nerve that was once attached to her incisor.
“I’m not fucking crazy! You’re only here to keep up appearances. I’m just a burden to you! I know it, now. I know it, now. I’m not crazy. I’m not crazy. I’m not crazy–”
“Thomas! Christian! I need your assistance in room 106. Bring the restraints!” Sylvia yelled, and seconds later, two large male nurses ran into the room. Cody put up a valiant effort against the two men, but was quickly penned to the floor, allowing Sylvia to sedate him.
***
“Thank you for meeting with me today, Sister Mary Ava, especially on such short notice. I know that I haven’t been to services in over a year, but after getting a civil divorce without seeking the church’s council, I didn’t feel it was appropriate. I have not abandoned my beliefs, however, and I have remained faithful to my husband in our time apart,” Kelly said, while refusing to meet the elder woman’s gaze.
“Kelly, I am not here to judge you. You sought out my council, and it would go against everything that I am to deny you. So please, tell me what has happened,” the religious sister said calmly.
Bravely, Kelly lifted her gaze, but upon looking into the woman’s penetrating stare, her eyes filled with tears, so she lowered them once more.
“I’m not sure where to begin; this whole ordeal has been a living nightmare. The worst of it started in May. Apparently, something happened that had upset Cody so much he attempted to walk to Ferndale. He made it as far as to Birmingham, when he was hit by a truck. He suffered a broken clavicle, three broken ribs, a ruptured spleen and a broken pelvis. He was in intensive care for two weeks, and remained in a coma for an additional week. They told me his chances of survival were slim, but by the grace of God, he pulled through.
In only a few months, he made a full recovery with amnesia being the only reminder that he had had an accident. It was right after that, however, when the night terrors began. Like clockwork, he would scream out in his sleep, and everyone guaranteed me that the night terrors were just him reliving the accident, or was a sign that his memories were returning, but no memories ever came. What did come, however…
About two weeks ago, instead of screaming in the middle of night, Cody woke up as, the only way I can describe it, as someone else. He was mean, disrespectful and dangerous, and he wouldn’t go away. Every night that demon would appear, and after attacking me several times, they took him to an inpatient psychiatric hospital about two hours out of the way, and placed him on a seventy-two hour hold. They’ve now officially diagnosed him with dissociative identity disorder, and because there is so little known about it, they really don’t know how to treat him. What they do know is that he has two distinct personalities. There’s the Cody that we all know and love, who’s sweet, kind and intelligent. Then there is the other Cody who is… everything else. Unfortunately, that Cody is the one with all of the memories. That Cody is also suffering from posttraumatic stress disorder for some reason, and they’ve placed him on a slew of medications that I’m not sure I agree with him taking.
Later this evening, I am supposed to pick him up. They wanted to keep him longer, but I don’t want him around all of those crazy people. They’ll only make him worse, so I’m bringing him home. The problem is he is supposed to begin seeing a hypnotherapist tomorrow at three o’clock, but I have a conference that goes on until five, and I cannot get out of it. My absences have already placed so much stress on the firm, so I have to do this.
Normally, I wouldn’t even think of making this request, but can you please sit with Cody tomorrow until I can make it home? I know this is very short notice, but you’ve always had a calming effect on him, and he’s always been so close to you, so I figure it will do him some good. Besides, I really don’t want to leave him alone for hours on end. I don’t trust him by himself, and I really don’t want him meeting a new shrink alone. Can you please do this for us? It would mean everything and more to me.”
For a few quiet moments, the sister sat in stunned silence. She had always wondered about Cody’s whereabouts and how he had been fairing since he and his mother abruptly stopping coming to church over a year ago. Never did she ever imagine that this had been his fate, and she wasn’t quite sure how to process it. One thing she did know, however, was that she could not turn down this request.
“Kelly, I can’t believe you ever considered not asking. It is my mission to be of service to anyone in need, so to turn down a personal request to attend to someone so close to my heart is inconceivable. I will be there. What time am I to arrive?” Sister Mary Ava said as she watched the woman with gentleness in her eyes. Immediately, Kelly hung her head and cried.
“Eight thirty,” she said.
“I’ll be there.”
***
“Hold still,” Kelly said firmly and without inflection as she tightened Cody’s restraints. He winced, and then laughed without humor.
“I love you, too,” he said mockingly.
His comment got no reaction from Kelly, and the same as before, she kept her face blank as she bound his feet to the footboard, before making her way to his right arm. Cody watched her intently as she moved from corner to corner, but she never met his gaze.
“You know, you can’t ignore me forever. Even if you try, I’ll still be here,” he said after several minutes of her silence. Finally, with coldness in her eyes he had only seen once before, she looked at him.
“I am not ignoring you. I simply refuse to entertain a vengeful, malicious sub personality of my son; therefore, we have nothing to discuss,” she said, and then returned to checking over her handiwork. She was resolute in her decision to not allow this Cody to hurt Sister Mary Ava after she had so kindly agreed to assist them. Cody, however, was even more confused than before.
“Really? So that’s what you’re telling yourself to help you sleep at night? I don’t act the way you want me to, so I must not be your son? Well, you’re wrong. I am your son, even if you don’t want me to be. I’ve always been your son, even when you weren’t my mom,” he said, with his voice finally revealing an emotion different from anger or amusement. Kelly merely turned awa
y from him.
“Sleep,” she commanded firmly as she gathered her things, preparing to leave the room. Cody silently watched her, and after receiving silence once more, his eyes welded with tears.
“Right,” he said softly as he thought over his predicament. Not even twenty-four hours ago he was informed he was mentally ill, forced to take several pills, and was now strapped to a bed with the only person that had control of his life planning to leave him behind as quickly as she could. It terrified him, and he wanted to go away to a time and place he felt save. The first memory that came to him was when he had been a small boy of only three years old. A song had been sung to him to quiet his fears and help him sleep. Ironically, the person that starred in that memory was the same one who had just turned her back on him.
“Fly little bird, fly high and high
Dream far and wide, go touch the sky
Fly little bird, don’t fear the wind
I’ll make sure…”
Cody sang, before his voice drifted off in sleep. The one good thing about his predicament was that the other personality was always trying to claw to the surface, so falling into dreamland could be quickly accomplished by simply ending his never-ending battle to remain awake. Unfortunately, he did not see the frozen figure standing only a few inches from his door.
“I’ll make sure your wings don’t bend
Fly little bird, I’ll be your guide
I am with you, you’ll never die”
Kelly finished, before turning to look at her son. She then staggered over to him, before falling into a chair that sat at his bedside. She hadn’t sung that song in twelve years, and its reemergence made her think back to how it had come to be.
“Mommy, Daddy, look, a bird family! Mommy bird, daddy bird and baby birds!” Cody said excitedly as Robert held him up to get a better look. The minute his feet touched the ground again, he ran over to Kelly.
“You’re mommy bird and I’m baby bird,” he said with a huge smile. Not quite paying attention to who she was addressing, Kelly said the first thing that came to mind.
The Perfect Son Page 4