“I’m sorry! I know that it doesn’t mean shit coming from me, but I’m truly sorry. I never wanted this. I only wanted to make Cody’s life better than ours had been. To me, that meant providing him with the best opportunities to be successful and removing anything that could negatively influence him. I didn’t want him to grow up poor and living in shit housing with parents working dead-end jobs like we did. Somehow, it went all wrong. This is all wrong,” Kelly cried, and then attempted to touch Robert’s shoulder. Instinctively, he flinched away without looking up. At that moment, if he had had a gun, he didn’t know whether he would shoot Kelly, or turn it on himself. His pain wanted him to put all the blame on his ex-wife, but deep down, he knew that some of it belonged to him as well.
‘I should have fought harder for him,’ he thought as he remembered the time Cody showed up on his doorstop. Instead of closing the door on him, he wished that he had pulled him into his arms, and told him that he loved him. Now, he may never get the chance.
‘I’m so fucking weak,’ he thought as he truly looked at what kept him from his son. The pictures that Kelly took of him had once been the equivalent of the Boogeyman, yet now, they were just blank photographs. If exposing them meant he could have back the time he had lost with his son, he would gladly pay to have then posted on every billboard in America.
“What the hell is taking so long? It’s been nearly four hours already!” Kelly yelled unexpectedly, finally forcing Robert to look up at her. Somehow, without him noticing, she had gotten up, and was now pacing the floor. She appeared to be worse off than he ever seen her. Her makeup was smeared, her hair was in disarray, her face was swollen and puffy and the rings around her eyes could not possibly have been the result of one day. She was obviously going through her own personal hell, and surprisingly, it didn’t bring him joy. He had enough misery in his life, and seeing hers only made him feel worse.
“Kelly?” he called, trying to distract her from her musings. All it did was turn her attention to him.
“Do you know they still haven’t identified that son of a bitch! The car was registered to a Samuel James, but he reported it stolen three days ago, so who in the hell was that with Cody? They ran his fingerprints, but he must have had no priors, because they came back clean. If he was so clean, then why in hell did he go after my boy!”
Not having anything to add, Robert just watched her rage.
“You know what, this is my fault. If I hadn’t gone to that damn conference, I would have been there. I would have seen the face, and he would not have gotten my boy. I bet he’s just some asshole I sued; that’s why I quit the firm.”
That got caught both Robert’s and Sister Mary Ava’s attention.
“Quit the firm?” Robert asked in shock and confusion.
“Yes, I quit the firm. I quit the minute I got the call that Cody was here. You were right, you know? I don’t really know him as well as I should, and I was happiest the year I stayed home with him. A lot has happened since then, but he’s not grown yet, so there’s still time. There’s still time for me to travel, laugh and talk with him. I won’t care if he sleeps all day. I won’t even care if stays in my basement until he is forty-five, still listening to his rap and playing his video games. As long as he’s happy, it’ll all be okay,” Kelly said in a rapid speech. Robert tried to interject, but she rambled on.
“I can only hope that he still wants me. If he doesn’t, that’s okay, too. If he prefers to stay with you, I’ll give you full custody, and I won’t bother you two ever again. If that’s the case, can you find it in your heart to at least send me updates on how he’s doing?” she asked with a smile that didn’t mirror what was in her eyes. Wordlessly, Robert got up, and then pulled her into his arms. Kelly immediately broke down.
“It’s going to be alright. We’re going to get through this. Cody is strong; he’ll pull through,” Robert said in an effort to comfort them both.
“If he doesn’t, I’m going to follow him.”
Silence instantly filled the room.
“Kelly, what are you saying?” Robert said as he pulled back to look at her face.
“If he dies, then I’ll die, too. I have to protect him. I don’t want to leave him alone and scared anymore. Can you imagine how scared he must have been earlier? I can’t allow that to happen ever again. I must follow him. I won’t let him die alone,” Kelly said with certainty in her words, making Sister Mary Ava walk over.
“Kelly, that is not the way. I know it may be tempting, but if it is not His will, nothing good will come of it. You must be strong, gather your faith and let all that you have been given thus far fill you with gratitude. There is a reason for everything, and in time it may be revealed to you, but first, you have to live long enough to see it. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” Kelly said with her eyes averted away from the pair. On her face was a look of contemplation that did not match her response. Robert wanted to press the issue, but in the next moment, the doctor came down the hall.
“Mr. and Mrs. Winters, I have a status update on your son…”
END
The Perfect Son Page 8