by Kitty Neale
Ignoring the call she stumbled into her room, slamming the door behind her, and finding her knees shaking as reaction set in, she slumped onto her bed.
‘Please, Sally, can I come in?’ Elsie begged, opening the door a few inches. ‘Honestly, love, I didn’t mean it,’ she said, edging further into the room. ‘I don’t know what came over me. I’m ashamed of myself, I really am.’ She sat down on the bed beside her. ‘I had no right to use you as a scapegoat or to vent my anger on you.’ She sighed deeply. ‘Sometimes it’s easier to blame someone else when things go wrong. Look, I’m really sorry. Can you forgive me?’
Sally nodded mutely, picking at a loose thread on her jumper as Elsie started talking again.
‘You see, I’ve always had this dream that you and Arthur would marry one day. I’m so fond of you and it would have been wonderful to have you for a daughter-in-law. No, it’s all right,’ she said, stopping Sally’s reply. ‘It seems it just wasn’t meant to be.’
‘I’m sorry, Elsie.’
‘No, love, it’s me that’s sorry. I know things haven’t been right between us lately, and I must admit I think it’s a shame that your spiritual gifts are being wasted.’ She shook her head sadly. ‘But it’s your decision and I’ve no right to interfere.’
‘I didn’t mean it when I said that you’re misled by the devil, Elsie. It’s just that I was upset at the time and it sort of came out all wrong.’
‘Come on now, let’s forget it, shall we?’ she said, squeezing Sally’s hand. ‘And who knows, perhaps I can bring Ann round too.’
Sally turned her head sharply. ‘Oh, I hope you can, Elsie. I miss her so much.’
‘I know you do, just like I’m going to miss my Arthur.’
They sat quietly for a while, each with their own thoughts, until Sally felt the mattress lift as Elsie stood up, her eyes brimming with tears again. ‘Oh God,’ she choked, as she left the room. ‘How will I be able to bear it when he goes to Australia?’
The following morning dawned cold, but clear and bright. Sally was just towelling her hair dry when her mum called out that someone wanted to see her. She frowned, wondering who would call so early, and wrapping the towel turban-style around her head, went to the top of the stairs.
‘Hello, Sally, I just popped round to see if you fancy walking to work with me,’ Ann said, looking up at her from the bottom of the stairs.
‘Yes, of course I would,’ she told her, beaming with delight. ‘Give me about half an hour.’
‘Right,’ Ann smiled back. ‘See you later then.’
Sally rushed back into her bedroom and hastily pulled on a skirt and blouse, unable to believe that Elsie had managed to talk Ann around so quickly. Oh, it was wonderful, she thought, feeling a surge of happiness. She had her friend back.
She bolted her breakfast, listening with half an ear to the radio. Lonnie Donegan was belting out ‘My Old Man’s a Dustman’ and her mum was obviously enjoying it as she sat opposite, humming the tune and tapping her feet.
‘It’s about time you and Ann came to your senses. Are you happy now, love?’ she asked.
‘Of course I am,’ Sally grinned, scrambling from the table. Then, throwing her coat on and tying a scarf around her neck, she said goodbye to her mother and went to knock on Ann’s door.
At first as they walked along there was still a touch of constraint between them, but as they turned into Falcon Road it was dispelled when Sally asked Ann if her mum was any better.
‘Not really. She cried nearly all evening and then started again as soon as Arthur came down this morning. Somehow I can’t help feeling sorry for him. It’s obvious he’s really keen to go, but Mum is making him feel so guilty about it. His face was as white as a sheet when he left for work.’
‘Will he marry Jenny before they emigrate?’ Sally asked.
‘No. Apparently their first priority is to save as much money as they can to take with them. Jenny’s not prepared to compromise on a big white wedding with all the trimmings and is prepared to wait until they’re settled in Australia.’ Ann snorted derisively. ‘Though how she’s got the cheek to get married in white I’ll never know. She’s had more blokes than I’ve had hot dinners.’
‘It sounds like you don’t think much of her, Ann.’
‘No, I don’t,’ she said emphatically. ‘I saw her once in the pictures with another bloke and you should have seen her face when she spotted me. She tried to give me some waffle about him being her cousin.’
Sally stared at her friend in surprise. ‘What did Arthur say about it?’
‘He believed her story and had a go at me for trying to cause trouble.’ She shrugged. ‘Since then I’ve kept my mouth shut.’
‘I had no idea that Jenny was like that. Why would she go out with other men when she’s got Arthur?’
‘’Cos she’s a tart,’ Ann retorted. ‘God, I could kill her for taking my brother away.’
‘You’re all going to miss him so much,’ Sally said sympathetically.
‘I know, but I can’t believe that he’s really going. It’s too much to take in, and I don’t think it’s hit me yet.’
Sally hooked her arm through Ann’s. ‘Yes, I know what you mean. It seems unreal somehow.’
They walked along quietly for a while in a companionable silence. Then Sally, feeling a surge of relief, squeezed her friend’s arm, saying, ‘Ann, I’m so glad that things are all right between us again. I’ve really missed you.’
‘I’ve missed you too, but please, Sally, don’t ever say anything about my mum again.’
‘I won’t, I promise.’
Ann smiled. ‘Right then, let’s put it all behind us and start again. Now come on, I know you got engaged, so how about showing me your ring?’
Taking off her glove, Sally held out her hand.
‘It’s lovely,’ Ann whispered. ‘But are you sure you know what you’re doing, Sally? Are you sure he’s the right one for you?’
‘Look, let’s make another pact. I’ve promised that I’ll never say anything about your mum again. Now perhaps you’ll agree not to say anything about John? He is the right man for me, and I love him. Please, Ann, can’t you accept that?’
‘All right, Sally, you win.’ She heaved a sigh. ‘If you really love him, I’ll just have to make an effort to like him, won’t I?’
‘Oh Ann, you make him sound like a monster. He’s wonderful, and once you get to know him a bit better, I’m sure you’ll get along fine.’
‘I hope so, Sally, I really do,’ Ann said, but there was still a trace of doubt in her voice.
Chapter Twenty-Three
On Sunday Sally sat in her gran’s room facing her across the fireplace, feeling overwhelmed by a strange sensation as she watched her twisting newspaper into firelighters. It felt as though this isolated moment in time had been imprinted in her memory and she would remember it for ever. Her gran took another sheet of newspaper, rolling it tightly from corner to corner to form a long neat tube, and flattening it from end to end between her fingers. She then folded it neatly in half, plaiting it, one piece over the other until it resembled a concertina. Fastening the ends neatly, her hands black with newspaper print, she threw it into the coal-bucket, unaware of her granddaughter’s gaze as she grimaced and flexed her fingers.
‘Are you in a lot of pain, Gran?’
‘No, it’s not too bad,’ Sadie told her, smiling bravely. ‘But I think I’ve made enough lighters for now.’
It was then that Sally felt a sudden surge of rebellion, recalling Elsie’s words. Yes, she thought, Jesus had healed the sick and sent His disciples out to do the same. Surely John couldn’t expect her to sit by and watch her gran suffer like this! How could easing her pain be evil? She closed her eyes, searching for words from the Bible, trying to remember all the tracts John had pointed out, but instead only remembered how Jesus had restored a blind man’s sight and, amongst other things, cured leprosy.
She stood up abruptly, her shoulders stiff with
resolution. ‘Gran, come on. I’ll give you some healing.’
‘What?’ Sadie spluttered, her voice high with surprise. ‘Are you sure, love? I don’t want to cause trouble between you and John.’
‘Yes, I’m sure. Elsie’s right, you shouldn’t be in all this pain when I may be able to help you.’
Will it work, Sally wondered, as she stood behind her gran, lifting her head in a silent prayer. She had been rejecting her spiritual gifts for so long, would she still be able to summon the help she needed? She inhaled deeply, controlling her breathing as Elsie had taught her and allowing herself to become a channel for the power that came through her hands.
‘I can’t believe it.’ Her mum’s voice penetrated her concentration.
She opened her eyes, startled to see her mother and aunt standing in the doorway, both looking flabbergasted. Glancing at the clock she was amazed to see that twenty minutes had passed.
Her gran stood up, smiling with delight. ‘Oh Sally, it’s wonderful, my pain’s almost gone again!’ she exclaimed.
Just then, there was a loud knock on the front door and they all looked at each other in surprise. ‘I’ll get it,’ Mary said, hurrying back into the hall.
‘No, no, go away!’ they heard her shriek, and Sally saw her mum stiffen at the sound of a man’s voice, urging Mary to let him in.
She followed as Ruth rushed into the hall, seeing her blanch with shock when she saw Ken, his shoulder on the door, trying to stop Mary from shutting it in his face.
‘Ruth!’ he shouted. ‘I’m not here to cause trouble. I only want to talk, for Christ’s sake.’
‘Let him in, Mary,’ she said, her voice flat.
‘What, are you mad?’
‘Just open the door,’ she replied, her face set and cold as though carved in marble. Then, stepping forward, she added unemotionally, ‘There’s nothing he can do to hurt me now. Let’s hear what he’s got to say.’
As Mary stepped back, allowing Ken into the hall, he removed his trilby hat, smiling softly. ‘Thanks, Ruth, you’re looking well, and surely this isn’t little Sally,’ he said ingratiatingly. ‘Well, you’ve turned into a right little beauty, haven’t you?’
‘Sally, go to your room.’
She stiffened. ‘No, Mum, the days when I had to keep out of his way are long gone. I’m not a child that has to be hidden away any more.’
‘I want to talk to yer mother in private. Do as she says, Sally, and go to your room,’ Ken demanded.
Ruth bristled. ‘How dare you!’ she snapped, colour returning to her cheeks. ‘The time has gone when you could give us orders. No, Sally’s right, you can say what you’ve got to say in front of all of us.’
Sadie had come out of her room, saying nothing until they had all gathered in the kitchen. Then, throwing a look of disgust at Ken, she said scathingly, ‘Huh, bad pennies always turn up.’
‘Nice to see you too, old girl,’ he grinned, seemingly unconcerned.
‘Just say what you’ve come to say, Ken,’ Ruth snapped. ‘And who said you could sit down?’ she added as he pulled out a chair from under the table.
‘Now then, Ruth, there’s no need for nastiness,’ he placated. ‘Can I sit down?’
‘No, you can’t. Now what do you want?’
He puffed out his cheeks with exasperation, his eyes flicking around the room. ‘You seem to ’ave done all right without me, gel.’
‘Yeah, I have. When you left me it was the best thing you ever did,’ she retorted.
‘My sister’s well rid of you,’ Mary told him haughtily.
At the tone of her voice, Ken’s manner changed. He straightened his shoulders and slowly turned to face her, saying with a sneer, ‘Don’t come the high horse with me, Mary. Your husband obviously decided to get his oats elsewhere too. I saw him with his lovely wife just recently.’ He grinned maliciously at the expression on her face, adding, ‘Yes, a lovely blonde piece he had on his arm. And their son – he’s a smashing little nipper, and the apple of his father’s eye.’
Sally saw the colour drain from her aunt’s face, her eyes like saucers as she stared at Ken, but before she could respond Sadie moved forward, her face livid. ‘You bastard!’ she shouted. ‘My daughters ’ave suffered enough. Now get out! Go on – get out of here!’
‘All right, old girl, calm down,’ Ken told her. ‘Look, I’m sorry, Mary. I assumed you knew about Harry’s new wife,’ he lied.
‘I’m his wife,’ she snapped. ‘We’re still married.’
‘According to Harry, you were divorced years ago. You’ve got a right one there. Not only a pervert, but a bigamist too.’ Then, ignoring the impact his words had on Mary, he turned his attention to Ruth. ‘While we’re on the subject of marriage, that’s what I’ve come to see you about. You’ve made it pretty obvious that you don’t want me back, so I want you to give me a divorce.’
Sally watched in amazement as her mum’s hands balled into fists, her stance rigid as she squared up to him. ‘Get out!’ she screamed. ‘You’ve got a nerve to turn up here after six years, upsetting my sister and asking me for a divorce. Well, you can go to hell.’
‘Now come on, Ruth. I’ll make it worth yer while,’ he urged.
‘I said get out!’ she screeched, bright red with anger.
Ken’s face tightened momentarily and Sally stiffened, remembering his violence. But he sucked in his breath and said, ‘All right, calm down, I’ll go. But you ain’t heard the last of this. I’ll be back.’
As he turned to leave the room, Mary seemed to shoot out of her chair. ‘No, wait, wait!’ she shouted, running across the room and grabbing his arm. ‘Where did you see him?’ she urged. ‘Where did you see Harry?’
‘He lives in the same town as me, as it happens.’
‘Yes, but where? Please, Ken, please tell me.’
‘Well now,’ he drawled, his confidence back, ‘that all depends on yer sister. If she’s prepared to see reason …’ His voice trailed off.
Mary turned to Ruth, still clutching Ken’s arm, mute appeal in her eyes.
Seeing the expression on her sister’s face the fight seemed to go out of Ruth, and slumping she said, ‘All right, Ken. You win, you can ’ave your divorce.’ She sniffed then, adding, ‘In fact, I’ll be better off without you. But only,’ she stressed, ‘if you tell us where Harry is.’
Ken grinned in triumph. ‘It’s funny really, because although I knew that, like me, he lives in Blackpool now, I didn’t have an address.’ He strolled back across the room, pulled out a chair and sat down, smiling when this time, Ruth made no protest. ‘However, as I was driving out of town one morning, I happened to spot him leaving a house on the edge of town, his pretty wife waving to him from the doorstep.’ He flashed them a wide smile. ‘Now, how’s that for a bit of luck?’
When Ken left there was an aftermath of strained silence. It was as if both Sally and her gran didn’t know who to sympathise with first. Strangely they all ended up sitting around the kitchen table, each with their own thoughts.
It was Sadie who broke the silence. ‘Mary, I think it’s time you told us what went on between you and Harry. I mean, how on earth can he be married to someone else, and with a child too?’
‘He can’t, Mum, at least not legally.’ A child, she thought, it was unbelievable – and did the child’s mother know that she and Harry weren’t divorced? She felt bile rise in her throat. My God, he wasn’t fit to be a father. Taking a deep breath, she cast a glance around the table and seeing the worried expressions on their faces, nodded. ‘Yes, perhaps the time has come to tell you about my marriage, but I’m afraid it’s a long story.’
‘Wait a minute, Mary, do you think Sally should hear this?’ Ruth said worriedly.
‘For God’s sake, Mum. I’m not a child,’ she protested.
‘No, it’s all right,’ Mary intervened. ‘Sally and I have already talked about it so there won’t be any surprises for her.’
Ruth’s eyes narrowed as she looked at he
r daughter. ‘Well, you’re a dark horse. You kept that quiet.’
‘That’s because I talked to her in confidence,’ Mary told her. ‘And perhaps when you’ve heard what I’ve got to say, you’ll understand why.’ She took a deep breath before continuing, ‘Now, I’ll try to keep it as short as possible. You see, it started on my honeymoon …’
She saw the compassion in their eyes as she described her married life. ‘Then, Mum, when you decided to live with Ruth, it all became too much. That was the start of my nervous breakdown. Not only was I washing my hands all the time, I became moody and obsessive, scrubbing the house day and night, trying to get it clean.’ She shook her head, adding, ‘No matter how hard I tried, it always looked dirty to me.’
‘Oh Mary,’ Sadie choked. ‘I feel terrible. I would never ’ave left if I’d known how bad things were for you.’
‘How could you have known, Mum? I’ve never been one to show my feelings and I kept everything locked inside. I must have been heading for a breakdown for years. Anyway, Harry couldn’t cope with it, and things came to a head the day you found me.’ She tightened her lips. ‘You see, only that morning, he walked out on me.’
‘But I don’t understand. After what you’ve told us, weren’t you glad to see the back of him?’ Sadie asked.
‘Yes, of course I was. But I hated myself more than I hated Harry. I blamed myself for what he had done to Sally.’ Her voice low now, she murmured, ‘And that’s why I took those pills.’
Sadie, on the point of speaking, was silenced as Ruth asked, ‘If you’re glad he left, why are you so desperate to find him now? Anyway, if he’s got a kid he must have had this woman on the side for a couple of years. Sod him, I say. He still sends you money every month and the rent gets paid on your house.’
‘My God, Ruth,’ Mary said, ‘it’s got nothing to do with money. Can’t you see, I want him stopped? He’s a paedophile, and my stomach churns with the thought of how many other children might suffer at his hands, as Sally did.’ She drew herself up. ‘But I may have got him now. I can’t prove he’s a paedophile, but if he really has married this woman, I can at least prove he’s a bigamist.’