Marica and I continued to meet more frequently. It was faintly disturbing to me that I no longer felt that pang of fear when I turned into the Lake Rosu parking lot. It was beginning to feel familiar now.
I had been working on water and fire for more than three weeks when Marica announced that I was ready to tackle air.
Immediately I giggled. The idea of tackling air created such a ridiculous mental image that I just couldn’t help it. Marica, who didn’t often share my sense of humor, merely raised an eyebrow and regarded me with an expression of long-suffering patience.
“Sorry,” I said meekly, biting my lip.
She went on as though there had been no interruption. “You’ve learned to channel passion into fire, to seduce water… and now you must dance with the air. Air takes a bit more discipline than water, but it won’t be won by sheer force of will, as fire is.” She paused for a moment and closed her eyes.
I looked around, waiting for something to happen. We were back in the clearing, after having spent all of our last sessions on the beach. Oddly no one else ever came to Lake Rosu while we were working there, even though we’d had some really pretty weather for this time of year…
I suddenly became aware of a breeze stirring my hair. It had been quite still up until now, and I glanced idly at the gently waving branches. The breeze swelled into a wind, and I caught my breath. Of course—it was Marica.
Her eyes were still closed; she remained motionless. But I knew that she was controlling the now-gusty wind swirling around us. She raised one hand and flicked her wrist slightly. Across the clearing, a small whirlwind formed and darted in and out of the trees.
And then just as suddenly as it had begun, the wind stopped. It was eerily still in the clearing, and Marica cocked her head at me challengingly.
“My turn?” I asked.
“Close your eyes. Feel the air. Listen to it. When you can hear the voice of the wind, speak to it. Tell it what you want it to do. Bank the passion you might use with fire, but be firmer than you were with water. Do it now.”
I tried to feel the air. The deeper my concentration, the more I thought I could imagine the tiny molecules all around me, and I pictured them bumping into each other and causing a breeze.
“No. Remember what I said. Listen to it. Stop trying to manipulate—that won’t work. Focus.”
I scowled and closed my eyes again. This time, I didn’t try to imagine anything; I simply stood very still and tried to hear whatever it was Marica thought I should hear.
For several seconds, everything was still. And then… I thought I heard just the merest sound. It wasn’t quite a voice, but it wasn’t not a voice either. I couldn’t make out words, but I focused on it and pushed out a thought toward that sound.
And then I could feel it: the smallest stirring of air around me. I carefully put more force into my direction, and it became a full-fledged wind. My blouse was blown against me, and I smelled the pines that surrounded us.
Suddenly that scent brought a memory to the forefront of my mind. I was back in the spot, our spot, Michael’s and mine, in that private, protected area between the evergreens and the citrus trees. The pain was all the worse because I wasn’t expecting it, and abruptly the wind began to shift. It was blowing more violently. Small bits of dirt stung my face as the air whistled in my ears. I knew it was my emotions controlling the wind now, and I didn’t care. There was such a relief in this outlet that I didn’t want to stop.
I let it all out, releasing the full brunt of my anguish. A gust hit me with enough force that I stumbled backward and leaned against a tree for support. Branches were creaking all around me, and—
“Tasmyn! Stop!” I opened my eyes. Marica stood in front of me, her dark hair whipping around her face, her eyes both anxious and annoyed. “Too much. Bank the emotions. Control it now.”
Gritting my teeth, I fought to stuff all the hurt back into that part of my mind where it usually hid. It wasn’t easy, but within a few minutes, the windstorm had tapered into a small, steady breeze.
I opened my eyes again and looking around the clearing. Branches and twigs littered the grassy area. I cast a quick, rueful glance at Marica.
“I guess I don’t know my own strength?” I ventured.
She shook her head. “Tasmyn, until you have total control over an element, you haven’t mastered it. Today you allowed your emotions to get the better of you. Do not make that mistake again. It can be a very dangerous proposition.”
I bit my lip and nodded. Marica was shaken. I could hear it in her voice.
“Should I try again?” I asked.
She shook her head. “No. That’s enough for today. Practice when you can, but remember, do not let your feelings interfere. I’ll see you here on Monday.”
I turned toward the path and then glanced back over my shoulder. “Aren’t you coming?”
Marica shook her head again. “I need a little time. There’s a good chance the King witches could gather here this weekend, and I want to clear the area of our work. You go ahead.”
I stumbled through the trees until I reached the boulder and the path. Behind me I could hear Marica’s voice as she chanted in Romanian. I wondered what she was saying.
Hey, Tas… I can’t believe it’s spring again, almost summer. It’s getting pretty warm up here, so I bet it’s beautiful in King. I’m choosing to believe that things are going to be better for us. I’m believing those plans we made are still possible. I love you, Tasmyn. Call me.
In my on-going quest to maintain a decent relationship with my parents, I agreed when they suggested that we go out for dinner. There wasn’t exactly a huge selection of restaurants from which to choose in the King area, and we ended up at the diner just outside town.
It was an unimposing building that served good, hearty food at reasonable prices. I had been there more than once with Michael and our friends or with his family. I pushed these memories aside as my parents and I were seated in a booth near the back.
I worked hard to keep up a steady flow of conversation if only to stave off the worry that I so often felt from my parents these days. So much of my life and my mind was consumed by everything Marica and I were doing that it was hard to find anything I could share with my mother and father. And they really didn’t want to know about Rafe and our relationship—or whatever it might be called. I noticed that whenever I mentioned him, my mother winced slightly and my dad’s mouth tightened almost imperceptibly.
By the time we finished our entrees and ordered dessert, I was exhausted by the effort to appear normal. I escaped to the ladies’ room.
It was empty, and I stood in front of the mirror, leaning my hands on the sink. The peace and quiet were a welcome balm, and I focused on tuning out all of the low thoughts that buzzed in the minds of the other diners. As I worked on blocking each mind, a familiar sense of warmth and pleasure fell over me like a comforting blanket.
Before I could react, the door to the ladies’ room swung open, and Marly Sawyer stood before me.
We were both speechless for a moment, but I heard her thoughts before she recovered.
Tas! Oh, my goodness, who could have known… look at her… poor thing… what do I say, how to handle…
Being Marly, she did what came naturally and opened her arms. “Tas! Sweetie, it’s so good to see you.”
Before I could even think about it, I stepped into her hug. I felt sobs form deep in my chest, and I struggled to keep them down. But nothing could stop the tears that ran down my cheeks.
Marly pulled back and put her hands on my face. “Oh, don’t cry! I’m sorry. Are you okay? What can I…” Her voice trailed off as she studied me, and I heard her indecision. “Honey, why don’t you come out and sit down with Luke and me? We just got here to grab a quick bite. I know Luke will want to see you—and we could talk.”
I shook my head. “I can’t. I’m here with my parents.”
Marly immediately thought of suggesting that we all sit down to
gether, and I answered what she didn’t say.
“Marly, I wish I could. But it would be impossible. It’s not fair to you and Luke, I know. After everything you’ve done for me, what you’ve been to me… I can’t.”
She didn’t reply right away, but her eyes never left mine. “Tasmyn, Lela told me that all of this—that she doesn’t think you’re trying to hurt Michael, that you think you’re protecting him. If that’s the case, please, just talk to him. Or come over and talk with me. You know my door is always open to you, no matter what. At least, I hope you know that.”
I nodded, but when I tried to speak, the sobs won, and all that came out was a huge, wracking cry.
Marly pulled me close again and rocked slowly back and forth, not saying anything, just letting me cry. Behind us, the door opened again, and an older stout woman stepped into the bathroom. I heard her soft “Oh!” when she spotted us and then wisely turned around to leave.
Marly and I looked at each other, and incredibly, we both began to laugh.
“That poor lady!” Marly wheezed. “What must she have thought!”
“She thought she was interrupting some kind of family drama,” I giggled, still trying to catch my breath. “She thinks I probably just made some deep confession to you.”
Marly squeezed my shoulder. “Oh, Tasmyn, I’ve missed you so much. I know that sounds selfish, but it’s true.”
“I miss you, too,” I whispered. “I wish…”
The door opened again, but this time it was my mother’s concerned face that I saw over Marly’s shoulder.
“Tas! Are you all right?” Alarm filled her voice before she realized that it was Marly with me.
“I’m fine, Mom,” I answered. “I just ran into Marly in here, and we got to… talking. I’m sorry if you were worried.”
My mother’s eyes skittered from my face to Marly’s, questioning. “Okay,” she said softly. “Your dessert is waiting at the table.” She reached out to touch Marly’s arm. “It’s good to see you again.”
Marly’s smiled widened to include both of us. “That’s just what Tas and I were saying.” She wanted to say more, and I heard her vacillating before she finally sighed. “Luke’s going to think I’ve ditched him for a better offer. Nora, come by the nursery some time. I’d love to chat.” She gave me one more quick hug. “Tas, like I said, you’re always welcome at our house. Please don’t be a stranger.”
The door whooshed behind her and my mother turned back to me, questions on her mind and a troubled expression on her face.
“It’s okay, Mom,” I said. And although I was clearly lying, she followed me back to our table in silence.
Tas, my mom told me about seeing you. I wish… well, I was going to say I wish it had been me, but I think you know that. I’m glad she saw you. She said you looked sad and stressed. I’m sorry. If I can do anything to make it better. . well. You know. I love you, Tas. Call me.
As easily as I had mastered fire and water, I expected that controlling the wind would be a snap. But for some reason, my emotions continued to make working with the air difficult.
“Tasmyn!” Marica’s annoyance washed over me. “Bank the feelings. Bury them. How many times must I tell you?” She picked several twigs from her hair and dropped them to the ground. My last attempt to stir a light breeze had unleashed a wind storm that had shaken the leaves and branches from the trees that surrounded the clearing.
I forced a breath between gritted teeth. “Don’t you think I’m trying? It’s hard. I think I have it and then…”
“And then you allow your anger, your pain, your… passion, to rise to the surface and take control. The wind is less straightforward, I’ll grant you that. It does not like to be manipulated, and if you show any weakness, it will take over.”
I pulled my hair up, away from neck. I was drenched in sweat from the effort, and I was tired of Marica’s harping at me. Now that I had managed to quell the impromptu storm, it was too still, too warm. Without bothering to check with Marica, I reached for the wind again, this time determined to keep it light. Just a breeze to cool me off…
I closed my eyes and felt the air move around me. I steeled myself to keep it light, to control it. I heard the faintest of whispers and tried to ignore them.
…remember the pain…Michael…
The wind picked up just slightly, but I ignored it, concentrated harder on tuning out its taunting. I understood now what Marica meant; if I let it stir my feelings, this element would use them against me.
“Well done,” Marica said, just the faintest note of praise in her tone. “Better, at any rate. But it’s going to take time, Tasmyn, and a good deal of practice.” She glanced around the clearing, and I felt her indecision.
“What are you thinking?” It was a question I rarely had to ask, and it felt odd.
Marica continued to scan the forest around us, almost uneasily. “I think you need practice, Tasmyn,” she repeated. “However, time is of the essence, as they say. And I think we should avoid this spot for the time being. The King witches seem to be more active, and I don’t want to meet them unexpectedly.” She frowned again.
Remembering my conversation with Caroline Brooks, I asked, “Why don’t you ever participate with the King witches, anyway?”
Marica’s lips twitched. “Practicing magiks is not an after school activity, Tasmyn. One does not choose whether or not to ‘participate’.”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. Why don’t you practice magiks with them, then? Didn’t they ask you?”
This time she was not amused. “The King coven and I do not share the same goals. I want nothing to do with them, nor they with me.” She shook her head again, impatient. “We’re wasting time. I want to introduce you to the last element, Tasmyn, but I don’t want to do it here. We should avoid the clearing for the time being.”
“Why?” I asked, but Marica ignored me and began to make her way back to the path in the woods. I followed her, hurrying to keep up. She remained silent until we reached the parking lot.
“Do you think you can get out of the house tonight? Without arousing your parents’ suspicions?”
I was surprised. Marica had never had a problem asking me to keep secrets from my mother and father, but up until now, she hadn’t suggested that I sneak out or openly deceive them.
“What did you have in mind?” I asked, not a little apprehensive. For just a moment, Nell’s warning face flashed before my eyes.
“Earth element. We should begin the lessons as soon as possible, and it is desirable to do it at night.”
I shrugged. “Okay. I don’t really get that, but if you say so…”
“I do.” She was firm.
“Where? If the clearing is out, do you want me to come to your house?”
“Certainly not. My yard is small, and my neighbors can be too inquisitive.” She met my eyes challengingly. “No, for this lesson, we will meet at the Massler mansion.”
I’m pretty sure my mouth dropped open. Not much Marica said or did surprised me anymore, but the idea of going to Nell’s family home did the trick.
“Are you crazy?” I hissed. “We can’t go there.”
Marica smiled slightly. “We can and we will. Nell’s father is away at the moment, and the mystical energy on that property is nearly equal to that of Lake Rosu. It is the perfect place and the perfect time.”
“And just how am I supposed to get there? I don’t really even know where the Masslers live.” I had a vague idea that it wasn’t too far from Rafe’s house.
“Work out some way to get out of your house. Meet me at the gates in front of the Massler home. Wear dark clothing.” She paused, looking at me speculatively. “You can look up the address. I’ll see you there at eleven tonight.”
“How long will I be gone?” I really didn’t want to have to sneak out of the house, and a plan was forming in my mind.
“You will be home by…” Marica cast her eyes upward, considering. “One o’clock in the morning. Will
that suffice?”
“I think so. I can tell my parents that Rafe and I are going to a late movie. I think they’ll give me a break on my curfew for one night.”
She grimaced. “Must we involve the Brooks boy again?”
I threw up my hands. “If you want me to get out of the house, yes.”
“Fine.” Marica turned and strode toward her car. “Tonight at eleven. Don’t be late.”
Hey, Tas. Another day, another call. I guess you might think I’m pathetic. Maybe I am. Cathryn says—that doesn’t matter. I’m not giving up, not today, not tomorrow. I love you, Tas. Call me.
I was really trying to abide by the spirit of my parents’ rules, even if I wasn’t following them all, strictly speaking. So I felt virtuous as I sat in the parking lot by Lake Rosu to call Rafe instead of talking to him while I drove home.
He answered on the second ring.
“Hey.” His voice was husky and intimate, and an odd thrill went up my spine, followed by the inevitable guilt.
“Hi. What are you doing?”
“Just finished my homework for the weekend.” He made a noise between a yawn and a moan, and I realized he was stretching.
“I’m jealous,” I told him, and I meant it. Rafe was actually incredibly intelligent, although he didn’t broadcast it. He breezed through most of his classes and always finished his homework before I did when we were working together.
“Are you home and calling to check in?” he asked me.
“No and yes,” I replied. “I’m checking in, but I’m not home yet. I’m sitting in the parking lot at Lake Rosu.”
“What? Why?” Concern etched his words. “Is the car broken down? Do you need me to get you?”
“No, I’m good,” I assured him. “Just wanted to talk to you before I got home. What are you doing tonight?”
King 03 - Restless Page 13