“Oh for the love of God! Leave me alone!” I screamed the words, and as they left my mouth, I felt the surge of power explode and watched Amber fly across the open courtyard.
She hit the huge oak tree that dominated the center of the green and crumpled in a heap at its base.
Hey, Tasmyn. I’m just calling to remind you that no matter what, I’m with you, even when you think you don’t want me. The world is going to end before my love for you does. I love you. Call me.
“Oh, God!” The frustration and the anger were gone, swallowed up by remorse and disbelief. How had I done this? What kind of monster was I?
I ran to Amber, my heart in my throat. What if I had really hurt her? What if she was—but no, I refused to think about that. As if through a tunnel I heard shouts of alarm; apparently other students had witnessed this little display.
Amber laid horribly still, her eyes closed. One leg was folded beneath her body, and both arms were flung out, as though she had attempted to fly. Her face was so very, very white, and I remembered the night Michael and I had rescued her from Nell. Had I saved her life that night only to take it today?
I grabbed her hand, my own fingers shaking as I searched for a pulse. Please, Amber, please, I’m so sorry, please be okay…
“Amber! Come on, wake up. Come on. You’re going to be fine.” I spoke through chattering teeth, and then I felt a reassuring pulse in her wrist, and I saw her chest rise and fall.
“What happened? Did someone call 911?” A girl stooped next to me, gaping at Amber’s still motionless form.
Before I could formulate an answer, a boy whom I vaguely recognized from my English class joined us. “I don’t know what happened. I’ve never seen anything like that. It was freaky—one minute she was standing over there, then it looked like someone threw her into this tree.” He too was pale, I saw, his eyes wide in disbelief. “You know, like there was an explosion and she just got totally blasted over here.” He fastened on me. “You were talking to her. What was it?”
I shook my head. “I don’t—”
“What’s going on here?” I looked up as a shadow fell over me, and felt the first hint of relief. It was Mr. Frame, my history teacher from last year. He would be able to take care of this, to help Amber.
The boy held up his cell phone. “I already called 911. We don’t know how it went down, though.” He repeated his story, and Mr. Frame frowned at all of us.
We heard a siren, and within minutes, paramedics swarmed into the courtyard. I stepped back and with shaking hands groped for my phone. I hit the button for Rafe’s speed dial, and when he answered, I began to cry.
“Amber—she’s hurt—Rafe—we’re at school, can you please come? I need you. I-I did something so bad—”
He didn’t even hesitate. “I’ll be right there. Wait for me. Don’t go anywhere.”
As I hung up, I heard a low moan, and one of the paramedics said, “She’s coming around. Take it easy, honey. Keep still.”
I strained to see over the backs of the medics as they carefully moved her onto a stretcher. I felt a hand on my shoulder.
“I think she’s going to be all right, Ms. Vaughn.” Mr. Frame looked at me appraisingly. “Did you… see what happened to her? I imagine there will be questions.”
I flushed miserably and shook my head, unable to meet his eyes. “I-no. We were talking, and then she just—was here.”
He frowned at me, and I realized anew how lame that sounded. I just didn’t have anything else to say. When my silence made that clear, Mr. Frame nodded. “All right. You know, you look pretty shaken up yourself. Why don’t you have a seat and try to settle down?”
I looked after the group of men, wheeling my best friend toward the ambulance that I was sure was waiting in the parking lot. “Should I go with her? And someone should call her parents.”
“I’ll take care of notifying her parents, and no, they won’t let you ride with her. Better off to stay right here.” He guided me to the bench on the other side of the tree. “Sit tight.” I watched him stride away, toward the office.
I don’t know how long I sat there, numb, but it felt like only seconds before Rafe was kneeling in front of me.
“Tasmyn! What happened? God, you look like a ghost. Where’s Amber?”
Wordlessly I gestured toward the parking lot and then dropped my hand and shook my head.
“Tas!” Rafe took hold of my shoulders and shook me gently. “What happened? You’ve got to tell me. I can’t help if I don’t know.” He touched my face, held my chin and looked into my eyes.
Huge and ugly sobs racked my body, and tears gushed down my cheeks. “Rafe… oh, I did something terrible. I don’t know—I didn’t know it would happen—but—” And then it all poured out. I don’t know how Rafe understood what I was saying through my gulps and tears, but I saw his face change from concern to a grim comprehension.
“What’ll I do? I—I’m so frightened, Rafe. I never meant to hurt her. It just—she kept talking and talking, and it came out, I swear I didn’t mean it.”
Rafe sank onto the bench next to me and pulled my face into his shoulder. “Of course you didn’t mean it. You love Amber. She knows that. This isn’t your fault. It’s that witch—she unleashed the power, but she never taught you how to control it, to use it the right way.” Rafe’s voice was tight, and for just a moment, his mind opened to me and I saw that he was picturing strangling Marica.
“Rafe—no, no more violence. Please. I’ve got to get to the hospital, see if Amber’s all right. Will you take me?”
“Yes, of course.” He stood and pulled me to my feet next to him. And then I saw his face darken, and I looked over my shoulder, following his gaze.
Mr. Frame was walking into the courtyard toward us, accompanied by two men. One was dressed in regular clothes, but the other wore the familiar uniform of the King Police Department.
Tasmyn, sometimes I think if I just keep saying it enough, you’ll believe me again. I’ll wait for you. When you realize we belong together, I’ll still be here. I love you. Call me.
“Tasmyn, don’t say anything. Listen to what I’m thinking, and do what I tell you.” Rafe moved to put himself between the approaching men and me.
Mr. Frame reached us first, and I clearly heard his thoughts as he took in Rafe’s protective stance. What’s going on here?
“Tasmyn, this is Officer Burton and Detective Lawrence. They want to talk to you about what happened to Amber.”
Detective Lawrence met my eyes. “We’ve met. How are you, Tasmyn?” There was a wealth of meaning behind his words, and I remembered the last time I’d spoken with him, days after Nell had tried to kill me last year. He had left me that day with a cryptic warning about King, and now I could hear him thinking that I must not have paid very close attention.
I swallowed hard and tried to concentrate on Rafe’s thoughts. Answer him. Tell him how you really are.
“I just watched my best friend get carried out of here on a stretcher. I really want to get to the hospital and see if—see how she is. That’s where we were headed.”
Officer Burton’s eyebrows rose skeptically, and I looked away from him. Detective Lawrence was still watching me closely as he spoke.
“I’m sure. We need to find out what happened to Amber, how it happened, and since apparently you were the last one to speak with her, we’d like to get a statement from you before you go over to the hospital.”
I flicked my eyes to Rafe and heard him think, Just relax. Go with it. Tell them you were talking to her, then you went to leave and the next thing you knew, she was under that tree.
I nodded to Detective Lawrence, and Officer Burton pulled out a clipboard.
“So… were you with Amber? Where were you two going?”
I focused on sharing on the barest facts. “I—we were going home. That is, I was going to my house, and Amber was going to hers. She asked me if we could do something together, and I told her I had a lot of homework.” Te
ars filled my eyes again as I remembered my harsh words. “And then I told her good-bye. I turned to go. A few seconds later, I heard someone yell, and I saw Amber under the tree.” I didn’t have to fake the shudder that accompanied that memory.
“I ran over to help her, to see if she was okay. And there was a girl with me and a boy, too… he said he’d called 911.”
Officer Burton nodded. “We’ve got their statements already. The boy—he said he thought it looked like you were both upset when you were talking with the victim.”
I cringed. The victim. That was my best friend. And if she were the victim, what did that make me?
Focus, Tas. I heard Rafe thinking. Tell them… you were upset. We had a fight. That’s not a lie, and everyone will believe it. Tell them you were angry with me.
I nodded, just slightly. “I was. I—Rafe and I had an argument. I was still thinking about that. I wanted some time to myself, to just think things over. Amber was trying to help.”
“Did this fight with your boyfriend have anything to do with Amber?” Officer Burton tried to keep his tone even, but I could feel the growing suspicion. And I heard him think, Love triangle. These kids get so worked up. A girl spat that got out of hand…
“Absolutely not. Amber is our friend, but it’s nothing like that.” I glanced sideways at Rafe. “Rafe and I just had a kind of difference of opinion over something. Ask anyone, it’s not that uncommon for us.”
Detective Lawrence spoke this time. “So you’re saying you have absolutely no idea what happened between the time you finished your conversation with Amber and her hitting the tree? We have two witnesses who claim that she flew through the air, as though she’d been thrown.”
I shook my head, keeping my eyes down.
“Look at her,” Rafe interjected. “Tasmyn said they were talking on the walkway over there.” He pointed across the courtyard. “She and Amber are about the same size. You can’t honestly believe that Tas could physically toss Amber against that tree from there, can you?”
Detective Lawrence shrugged and then shook his head. “No. It doesn’t seem possible.” He regarded us both for a few beats and then turned back to Officer Burton and Mr. Frame. “Frank, would you and Mr. Frame go tell the other witnesses they can leave now? I’ll take a look over here at the tree, and I’ll meet you back at the car.”
After the two men had moved out of earshot, Detective Lawrence turned back to me. “So, Tasmyn. You’ve been here in King how long? Not even two years yet?” When I nodded, he sighed heavily. “And I’ve met you twice in the line of duty. That doesn’t make me happy.”
“This wasn’t Tasmyn’s fault. You can’t hold her responsible for anything that happened here.” Rafe’s voice was full of certainty.
“You’re not wrong, Rafe.” Sam Lawrence didn’t sound happy about that fact, either. “There’s nothing under the law that points to Tasmyn being culpable here. But let’s drop all of the pretense. Something went down, and you both know what it was.”
Rafe and I were silent.
Detective Lawrence shook his head again. “If you two-either of you—are over your head in something here, you could tell me about it. I could help you.”
When we still didn’t answer, Sam shrugged and dug into his pocket. “Okay. Here.” He handed me a small business card. “I gave you my card back after all that Nell business, but in case you’ve misplaced it, hold onto this one. If you think of anything you feel I should know, call me.” He leveled one last sharp glare at Rafe. “You know what I’m talking about, with your family. Whatever’s going on, I can take care of it, as long we don’t let anything get out of hand.” He waved us away. “Go on now, get to the hospital.”
Rafe took my hand again and pulled me away. When I glanced back over my shoulder, Sam Lawrence was kneeling by the tree, but I had the sense that he was a million miles away.
Hey, Tas. I was dreaming last night of that day in the clearing. I was never so scared in my life. Even now, with you so far away and with all your doubts about us, as long as you’re okay, I can hang in there. I’ll be here for you, forever. I love you. Call me.
I convinced Rafe that I was okay to follow him over to the hospital in my own car. The idea of having to return to the school to pick it up later didn’t appeal to me at all. I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to walk past the courtyard again without seeing Amber lying beneath that tree.
When we walked into the waiting area of the emergency room, Mrs. Cole jumped up and hugged me close.
“Oh, Tasmyn, I’m so glad you’re here!” I tried to smile reassuringly at Amber’s mother. She led me over to a seat next to a tired looking man I recognized as Amber’s dad. Rafe trailed behind us.
“How’s Amber?” I asked.
Mrs. Cole began to cry, and my fear ratcheted up a few notches. And then I heard her thinking, My poor baby, thank heavens she’s going to be okay. She’s been through so much…
“She’s going to be fine.” It was Mr. Cole who answered. “A pretty nasty concussion, contusion to the back of the head, bruised up badly, but it could have been much worse.”
I swallowed hard as tears of relief welled in my eyes. “I’m so happy to hear that,” I said. “Did… is she awake? Do you know what happened?” My heart began to pound as I considered all the things that Amber might have to say.
“We saw her briefly, and yes, she was awake,” Mrs. Cole told me. “But we didn’t press her about what happened. She was in some pain, and they were working on getting her settled.” She wiped her eyes and turned to face me. “What did happen? Do you know?”
I hesitated. Without knowing what Amber was going to say, it was hard for me to tell her parents anything. I decided it was safest to stick with the same story I’d told the police.
Mrs. Cole frowned as I finished. “Tasmyn, you don’t think it was any of those awful girls who gave Amber such a bad time last year, do you? I know Nell Massler is put away, but could it have been her friends? They were just terrible to Amber.”
I shook my head. Tempting though it might have been to place the blame on Casey, Liza or Julie, it wasn’t right. They had all carefully avoided any involvement with Amber or with me since Nell had been… removed from the situation.
Rafe stood abruptly. “Tas, I’m going to grab a drink. Can I get anyone anything?” Both of the Coles shook their heads. I watched Rafe turn down a hallway, and a disturbing suspicion took root.
Jumping up, I excused myself to the Coles, telling them I needed to check in with my parents. I followed the same hallway Rafe had taken and catching up with him, grabbed his arm.
“Don’t do it, Rafe,” I said in a low voice.
He looked down at me, expressionless. He wasn’t even going to bother to deny it, I realized.
“Please,” I breathed. “I know you’re trying to protect me. I know you think it’s the perfect answer. But—you can’t. It’s not fair to Amber, and I deserve whatever she decides to say or do.”
“No, you don’t.” The steel was back in Rafe’s voice. “It’s her. She’s the one responsible for Amber being in the hospital. She set you up for this. You know it’s true.”
He wheeled around and pulled me into a darker alcove. “Don’t let her get away with this, Tasmyn. I’m trying really hard not to say I told you so—but let this prove to you that the witch has been using you all along. Break it off. Don’t see her again. And let me take care of Amber.”
“I—no. Not Amber. Let me take the consequences, Rafe. I deserve them. You’re right. I’ve known for a while that Marica wasn’t good for me. I couldn’t stop. It’s like I’m addicted to her, to what she’s teaching me. It made me feel… special, powerful. But I knew, deep down, that it was wrong. And so I need to go through whatever Amber says or decides. She’s been nothing but a wonderful friend, and this is how I repay her.” The tears were there again, and Rafe caught them with his thumbs.
He smoothed my hair back, ran his fingers over my neck and then finally pulled me clos
e to him. I felt tenderness in place of the usual passion and urgency. When he leaned back, there was resignation in his eyes.
“I fall into that category, too, don’t I?” he said quietly. “Not good for you. Something you’re addicted to.” He moved his hands up to frame my face and leaned very close to me. “But I could be, Tas. Really. I could be so good for you. Get away from Marica, and we’ll work together. You can develop your powers with me. I can try to help you control them, or Gram could—”
I began to shake my head. Rafe cursed low, under his breath, and then he pulled my lips to his. This was a kiss of utter desperation. He moved a step forward so that my back was against the wall, and I was pinned beneath him. With my head between his hands and his mouth open over mine, I couldn’t move and could barely breathe.
I squirmed, trying to break free. Rafe only kissed me more aggressively and dropped his hands to hold my sides. He molded his fingers against my ribs and then slid them to my back, and up under my shirt.
Panicked now, I struggled to get loose at the same time that I worked desperately to keep my mental powers under control. Every bit of me was yearning to push him away the same way I had Amber—
“Rafe!” I finally got my mouth free. “Stop. You don’t want to tick me off, not now.” I spoke through a clenched jaw as I panted, focusing on calm.
Rafe stood back, but only slightly. He dropped his head into his hands, leaning back against the wall. I couldn’t hear his thoughts—he was blocking me—but I could feel his anguish, the pain and the longing. The love.
And as we stood there, it struck me all over again, with new clarity, how unfair I’d been to Rafe. I had been spending time with him, kissing him, allowing him to kiss and hold me, because I could feel the strength of his emotions, and I didn’t want him to be hurt. I had done to him what I knew I couldn’t bear if Michael had done to me: I was with him out of a misguided sense of obligation. I had used him to comfort me after the pain of my break up with Michael, and I had allowed him to think that there was more between us than there ever could be. Even my attempts to be honest and clear with him had been half-hearted. I felt utterly ashamed but also astonishingly free.
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