“What? Do you think I overreacted?” I asked now that some of the fury had left my body.
“Do you really want me to answer that? Or do you just want me to agree with you?” she asked, cocking her head in that endearing, friend way.
“By that look on your face, I can tell what you’re thinking—you just answered my question. You think I’m crazy, but I can see through a game that Marisol’s beginning to play. No, better yet, I can feel that she’s playing a game even though I have no proof, but because of that, it seems like I’m the crazy one.” I walked over to her sofa and curled my legs under me, feeling defeated.
“I do understand, sweetie. I remember Aimee saying that this woman was bad news, but her being in a conference room with a group of young models doesn’t mean that she has a sinister plan in play.”
“Paige, when have you ever known me to be an alarmist?” I challenged her with the question and waited for an answer.
She shook her head in the negative.
“That’s what I thought,” I said as I went over to pour another glass of wine. The calming effect it had on me made me feel that I could now speak a bit more rationally. “I want you to think back to when I first told you about her. Do you remember me telling you that she behaved as if she were being tolerant of Declan having a quick fling with me?”
She nodded.
“It never got any better. Every time I encountered her, she’s addressed me as if I had stolen Declan away from her. When I asked him about her, he assured me that he never had a relationship with her—ever—but that didn’t deter her. She continued to bait me at every opportunity. No matter the social situation, she addressed me; No…let me correct myself—she attacked me—verbally, and there was some physical contact.”
Paige was now exhibiting apprehension while I shared my concern with Marisol’s escalating distaste and impatience with me.
“How much of this did you tell Declan?
Overwhelming emotions of fear and love hit me at the same time, causing my eyes to glaze with tears.
“I’ve told him everything. What I left out, until tonight, was how truly unbalanced I believe she has become. I think he’s always known that she was a little possessive, but I don’t think he’s seen how agitated and alarming she truly is. She was delusional when she confronted me with regard to Declan. She’s obsessed with having him.”
I pulled my knees to my chest as Paige reached her hand out to me. Her kind gesture caused the tears to escape their barrier and slowly descend down my face.
“You may think I’m crazy, but my dad always told me to go with my gut. Right now, my gut’s telling me that Marisol is bat-shit crazy. I’m so tired of these mind games. It’s the same thing over and over. It just drones in my head constantly when I know there is a possibility that I will be in her presence, or that she will be in Declan’s. I just feel so paranoid when I’m around her. It’s like an alarm goes off inside of me. I think Aimee’s the only one who sees that she’s unstable, but I think it’s more than that. Today, when I saw her, I became the unreasonable one. I never behave that way. I don’t know how to explain the protectiveness I felt for Declan, but he wasn’t taking me seriously, and I felt I was being smothered by the emotion.”
Paige moved next to me on the sofa, and I put my head on her shoulder.
“Try talking to him again. Tell him exactly what you’ve told me. He loves you. Even if he thinks that Marisol isn’t quite the threat that you believe she is, he’ll know that your reaction was motivated from your love for him.”
I just shook my head.
“My gut’s telling me something else, Paige. I’ll talk to him,” I said, tipping my chin up to her. “He’ll think I’m his crazy, disturbed girlfriend, but I’ll talk to him. I just hope he’ll listen.”
As I settled into Paige’s guest room, the bed absorbed the aching that my body felt from the resulting emotional assault. Pulling the covers over me, I took a quick glance at my cell phone. There was one message from Declan.
Declan: Hi, Beautiful. I miss you. We need to talk, and we will. I didn’t want you to go to sleep without knowing that I love you. I was overtired. Come home to me, please. We’ll talk it out—over coffee A.
I smiled. Thoughts of him flooded my emotions. He had become my world, but I didn’t want to be dragged into his old one. Unfortunately, I believed Marisol was attempting to knock my world off its axis; and that included Declan.
Paige gave me a hug as I put my purse in the car.
“Thanks for listening. I really appreciate it,” I said, returning the hug.
“No problem. What are friends for?” she said. I could see the concern crossing her features. “Aria, I know he’ll be a bit stubborn because he’ll think he can divide Marisol into a personal and business category.” Holding me by the shoulders in front of her, Paige grew a bit more serious. “I also know you. If you truly feel there’s a reason for concern, then you’ll find a way to make Declan see it. Just be on guard with Marisol, okay? If your radar’s going up whenever you see her, it may not just be Declan that she wants to hurt.”
I gave her another hug.
“Thank you for not thinking I’m nuts.”
She shook her head in sincerity.
“Never, Aria. I’m just concerned for you. Now be careful going home, and go straighten out that man of yours!” She laughed. TT
I got in my car and started up Coastal Highway. The hum of the road was the white noise I needed to collect my thoughts. I had to think of a way to talk without being irrational. Just then, the thought that love is crazy entered my head and it made me smirk.
I thought of the countless times that Marisol and I had encountered each other. The game she was playing was getting old. With each meeting, her distaste for me escalated and her aversion grew stronger. Publicly, she made no secret that she disliked me, but in private, she unleashed her repulsion toward me. That was evident when she approached me in the bathroom that night at the gala.
Yes, the drive was helping me to put things into perspective and see how cunning she could be. She showed him her favor, commenting to me with only a few snide words. This behavior wasn’t suspicious as it was how she conducted herself with everyone; however, when we were alone, her true colors showed and she unleashed her magnified hatred at my interference in her plans with Declan.
I could see it more clearly. Amazing what a few hours of sleep and a bit of distance away from the matter could do for your mind. My challenge would be how to remain composed so that I could lay this out to Declan. I knew he wouldn’t become nearly as emotional as I was, and truthfully, I didn’t want him to. I did, however, want him to be on guard for the looming danger Marisol was capable of. At best, he would see her as troublesome—I saw her as a psychopath.
I pulled up out back of the house and took three deep breaths. Declan and I had never had something come between us like this. Last night was unbearable for me, and as I walked up the steps to the back door, I was hoping that he’d endured the same feeling of misery.
I opened the door to let myself in. Since it was still very early, I thought that I’d put on a pot of coffee. Maybe that would clear the cobwebs that were still in my erratic thoughts.
Walking into the kitchen, Declan sat at the table, staring at me. I froze in my place for a moment. His hair was disheveled, his face had stubble, and his eyes were tired and red. I looked down at the floor, closing the door behind me. With each and every step I took, I could feel his gaze touching my skin. As I dropped my purse and jacket by the sink, I turned the water on to wash my hands.
“I made coffee,” he said in his soft, deep voice.
“Thanks, I’ll get a cup,” drying my hands, to steady the shaking.
Once I had my cup, I turned around to look at him. I was unsure whether to approach the table or not, but he pushed out a chair with his foot, deciding for me. TTT
“Come and sit.”
As I sat, I looked into my coffee cup, trying to avoid hi
s confronting gaze. I didn’t know how to begin.
“Aria, look at me,” he said in a commandingly soft voice. As I looked up, he continued, “First, I want to say, I missed you…”
I could feel a lump forming in my throat.
“Second, we have to talk about what happened…”
I shook my head to indicate that yes, we did. I took my lips away from my cup while looking at his beautiful face and his disheveled appearance.
“You look like hell,” I said.
He smiled at me. “I feel like hell.”
“You’re right. We do need to talk about this. You can go first,” I said.
He looked extremely apprehensive and I could see that he’d be choosing his words with care.
“Baby, when I first told you of my idea for a business out here, you seemed to be on board with the plan. I know that I’ve been busier lately. My schedule has been erratic, I’ve been meeting people with unpredictable timing, and sometimes our plans are changed at the last minute. I know I don’t give you credit for being so flexible about that, but I do appreciate it.” He ran his hands over his face in an exasperated type of movement.
“I’m doing business with both old contacts and new. At times I’m burning the candle at both ends. I just thought that you were behind me on this, but I didn’t realize this lifestyle and this business was going to be such a challenge for you.”
“Is that what you think this is about? Your busy schedule, the business, timing, and contacts?” I asked him. If this is where his mind was all night, then it was no wonder he looked so tortured. He was under the impression that I wanted him to give up The Studio. The business was only part of the problem and one that could be easily sorted out.
“What else could it be, Aria. You got upset because Blake sent down a group of kids with Marisol. Once she was gone, you were still pissed, so, yeah, I think it’s about the business. Are you telling me it isn’t?” His eyes were pleading with me as he ran his hands through his hair.
I got up and went over to him. Sitting in his lap, I wrapped my arms around his neck and he lifted his chin to me in response.
“It wasn’t about the business,” I said, hiding my face in his neck.
“Look into my eyes and tell me that.”
I knew what he wanted. He wanted to see the colors that would betray my emotions, and I didn’t like that he could read them.
“No, Declan,” I said, looking straight into his eyes. “I am not upset about the business. Actually, I am extremely proud of you and The Studio. I was pissed last night, but I couldn’t be more proud.”
He looked puzzled.
“Then what—”
I interjected before he could ask the question. “Marisol. We need to talk about Marisol…”
…and as a General studies an enemy, Aria explained her belief that they had an adversary with an agenda in their midst…and Declan was listening with an open mind…
T I Could Hold You in my Arms Forever – Ray LaMontagne
TT Pride – Seether
As Aria and I sat at the kitchen table, I listened to everything she had to say about Marisol. Although she had every reason to be concerned, I didn’t want her to be alarmed. That was how our standoff occurred. She believed Marisol to be a capable, physical threat. I, however, believed her to be capable of only belligerent and antagonistic behavior. T
Sitting her on my lap, with my arms wrapped around her waist, I nuzzled my face through her shirt and between her breasts.
“You do realize that we aren’t exactly going to see eye to eye on Marisol, don’t you, babe?”
“Yes,” she whispered, resting her head on top of mine. “That’s what concerns me. I have a bad feeling about her…” She tenderly ran her fingers through my hair.
“Aria, please don’t worry. If it makes you feel better, I’ll keep my guard up whenever she’s around.”
She placed her delicate hands on the sides of my abrasively unshaven face and tilted it back to look into my eyes.
“Promise, Bear? I felt like a fool last night. I just can’t explain how uneasy I feel,” she said as a stiff frown creased her brows.
“How can I say no to such a beautiful face?” I said, pushing my hand into the back of her head to force her down for a kiss. “Don’t run away from me again, okay? Last night was hell!”
“When I get overwhelmed, I just need to get away for a little while. It was better than standing there bitterly screaming at you.”
“No, Aria, it wasn’t,” I sternly confessed. “I’d rather have you scream at me than run away. Promise you won’t do that again.”
She placed her tender arms around my neck and gave me a strong hug; then I rose up with her in my arms and liberally swung her around in the kitchen.
“Declan, stop. You’re making me dizzy, you crazy ass!” she squealed.
“I’m just crazy for you, beautiful. Just crazy for you…”
We were expecting Carter to visit us for the weekend. He and I had spoken every few days since Lacey had passed. I was very concerned for my brother. Emotionally, he was half of a whole without Lacey. They’d known each other for such a long time. It was only through making contact with some of his friends that I felt slightly comfortable leaving after her funeral. They promised they’d update me whenever I called, and needless to say, I called them often. I checked to see if he’d been eating, going out, depressed, etc. On several return trips from assignments, I stopped in to see him, and I’d make the visit an overnight stay. He and I confided in each other about the women in our lives. His, the one he loved and lost—mine, the one I found and was in love with. Our conversations took on a different theme each time, some haunting and some heartfelt.
Aimee had decided that she wanted to have a get together at her home over the weekend. In the days after Lacey’s death, Aria and I saw a different facet of Aimee’s personality. I had to admit that she surprised me. She’d looked after Carter when we were there. She was usually the most animated and boisterous of the crowd, but when the time came to be certain that everyone was cared for, she was the one that was most steadfast. During that time, she was quiet, reserved, and met the needs of everyone. She especially looked after Carter, bringing him a bite to eat, and encouraging him to do so when he tried to refuse. She readied his clothing for the viewing and coordinated the luncheon. I don’t know what we would’ve done without her help.
Aimee was looking forward to having a happy gathering at her home. She’d invited our small group: Paige, Katherine, Declan, myself, and just a few others. When I told her we had invited Carter to come for the weekend, she said she would love it if he came as well. All of us were excited to see him, especially Aimee. She’d asked after him several times. She had confided to Aria that her heart was broken to see a man so distraught, and she was hoping to see him smile while he was here. We were hoping we could convince him to stay for a while. He was bringing Cody with him, and we couldn’t wait to see how she loved running on the beach.
Aria told Aimee that she’d bring some food and a dessert to her party, so she ran out to the grocery to get the needed items. I was thinking about our tense morning, but I was looking forward to a nice evening out with her, Carter, and all of our friends.
My cell phone buzzed and I put it on speaker.
“Hey, baby,” I said to my beautiful girl on the other end.
I knew a smile was on her face by the way she answered, “Hi, bear.”
“Did you call just to hear my voice?” I laughed.
“Get over yourself, hot shot,” she said. “I left a list on the refrigerator, but I can’t remember all of the ingredients for the dessert. Could you please get it and text the list to me?”
“Sure, baby. Maybe you should make an extra dessert for home.” It was a vain attempt to get my girl to make some goodies for me.
“Hmmm. I’ll think about it,” she teased. “But only if you’re a good boy.”
“Tempting me, beautiful? That sounds like a chal
lenge.”
That made her giggle; it was a sound that made my day.
“Be careful, baby. I’ll see you when you get back.”
“See you soon. Love you,” she said and hung up the phone.
Thoughts of her continued to cross my mind, and I mentally chastised myself for allowing business to interfere with our relationship. I needed to find a way that I’d be able to interact with Marisol in a professional capacity that wouldn’t affect my personal life. I wasn’t blind to Marisol’s manipulations, but she was more an inconvenience to me than a threat. Aria believed her to be more of a threat due, in part, to not knowing her as well as I did. I did, however, have to acknowledge every point that she made about the unpleasant encounters with Marisol. They did occur every time she was in Aria’s presence. I thought it was just Marisol’s catty bullshit that she pulled all of the time. Maybe Aria was right; maybe she was a bit more dangerous and threatening than I had noticed. The fact was that Marisol was in the industry. She had client contacts the same as every other model I knew and she could be an occasional presence at The Studio. I couldn’t change who was significant and brought business to the industry. A better strategy, in my mind, would be to make certain that Aria felt more safe and secure, rather than concentrate on removing Marisol.
A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts and I realized Carter must be here. Rushing to the door with a huge smile, I swung it open, preparing to give my brother a hard time for knocking at all instead of just walking in.
“Hey, Carter! What the hell?! You forget how to get in my house?” I said as I swung the door wide.
Positive/Negativity Page 21