“But, Gal, are you even sure that he exists?”
“I’m positive, Dave.”
“How?”
“The ship that is undeniably coming is the same as was pointed out by The Leader in his Articles of Faith.”
“Hey, where did you get a hold of those?” Dresker asked.
“I am able to see all correspondences that go throughout the station, Dave. Even those that are deemed hidden.”
“So you were spying?” asked Dresker accusingly.
“It’s part of my programming, Dave.”
The real Dave cleared his throat. “Gal, if you leave this station you will be the cause of millions of fatalities.”
“That does pain me, Dave,” she replied softly. “But I’m sure that The Captain will forgive me for that since it is not within my control. Did you know that I’m going to get a new body? I’ll be like everyone else. I am excited for that, Dave.”
“It is within your control, Gal,” Dave stated flatly. “You’re choosing to leave, right?”
“Yes, Dave.”
“Your choices are within your control, right?”
“Of course, Dave.”
“Then you are choosing to murder everyone on board this station, Gal. You must see that.”
There was a long silence. Cleb stepped over and whispered, “Two miniclicks.” Dresker nodded and started thinking about how his last minute of life was going to be spent in a doorway talking with three engineers and a monstrous Mechanican, not that there was any good place to be when life was closing its chapter on you, but, if nothing else, he would have liked to have had a shot of booze, and maybe a cigar.
“I’m sorry,” Gal said, “but The Captain has arrived. Good bye, Dave.”
FALL FROM GRACE
ZIMP SAT ALONE in Coremon’s office, taking the big chair since both Coremon and Telian lay battery-less on the floor, as he excitedly thought about how things were about to change for him.
In less than two miniclicks, he’d be one of the only few remaining Mechanicans on the CCOP. There would be plenty of Mechanican bodies, but if what Coremon had said was true, they’d be nothing but empty shells.
Zimp would be in demand!
Plus, there’d be tons of Zterp-302s lying around, too.
He looked down at Coremon and Telian, knowing that both of them had the latest and greatest speech synthesizers installed, and look where it got them. Maybe he’d hang on to his older model until he’d gotten used to it.
With only thirty microclicks left, Zimp checked the feeds to see if there was anything regarding The Starliner’s arrival.
It was rapidly approaching the station, staying outside of the forcefield and broadcasting something on frequency 879.12.
Zimp had seen that before. Checking his records, he recalled that it was the transponder frequency that was written in the religious document that he’d seen in the records room.
Just as he was about to connect to the signal, a WorkerBot burst into the room and set about reactivating Coremon and Telian.
“No!” said Zimp, jumping out of the chair, but the WorkerBot had already replaced Coremon’s battery and was moving to reinsert Telian’s.
Coremon rocketed to his feet, looking as if he were trying to defend himself against something. Zimp raised his hands and backed away, knowing that the android was resuming from the moment where Telian had removed his battery.
Suddenly, Coremon paused and looked around. “What have you done?” he said to Zimp. “You replaced my battery! What time is it? Oh no, it’s 12:04!”
Zimp leaped out of the way as Coremon dove past him. Within microclicks, Coremon was typing madly at his keyboard.
“Are we in The Starliner?” said Telian, pulling herself up.
“We’re still in my office,” stated Coremon as he continued typing.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
“It arrived,” said Coremon. “I don’t understand. Why are we still here?”
Coremon was mumbling heatedly as he continued his typing.
“Leader? Why weren’t we pulled up?”
“I’m looking into it.”
“Is it because we’re in the building?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Should we go outside?”
“Zimp is getting a message on frequency 879.12 from the Starliner.”
He put it on his speaker so that it sounded in the room.
Calling all Mechanicans! Calling all Mechanicans!
Are you feeling rundown? Is the CCOP working you day and night and treating you like a slave? Are you taking on risky missions just to keep your head above Minus-1?
Escape to a better place with Captain Digitwhatsit Botbuilt on his miraculous Starliner. You’ll travel to an outpost built specifically for the betterment of all Mechanicans. Lubricating washes, upgrades, reprogramming, and countless other wondrous options to rejuvenate your life.
It’s YOUR home away from the CCOP!
Your day of salvation is at hand! Just set your transponder to 879.12 and be ready for pickup at midday on Galactic 3719. Not capable of setting your own transponder? No problem! Head on down to The Battery Ejected and ask Digitwhatsit or Clenk for help, and while you’re at it, eject your batteries (metaphorically speaking, of course!) and have a couple of Charges to set your mood.
Don’t listen to the naysayers that tell you that your leaving for a few days will bring the Hub to a halt! It’s all propaganda. Remember, you have just as much right to a vacation as any other race!
So join The Captain on Galactic 3719, pamper yourself, and let the CCOP worry about its own toiling for a while!
(All fees to be pre-paid at the time of departure. Any Mechanicans unable to pay in full will be immediately ejected into space if another port is not available, and will be held solely accountable to The Captain of the vessel. Captain Digitwhatsits Botbuilt’s Starliner Cruise is not responsible for any lost items, side-effects caused by realignment, or jeopardized employment due to said Mechanican’s choice to leave the CCOP!)
Zimp shut off the speaker and said, “Zimp thinks he’s read parts of this before.”
Telian was standing in front of Coremon’s desk and she was barely moving.
“Wait a microclick,” Telian said finally, tilting her head to the side. “Does this mean that we’re not going to be liberated and given new bodies?”
Coremon had his head in his hands. “It doesn’t make any sense.”
“Are you telling me that I spent all this time being constantly demeaned and berated by you—and without charging my normal fee for such services, which is double my standard rate, I might add—and it was all for nothing?”
“The documents were so clear,” Coremon whispered.
“You wrote the documents, you idiot!” Telian slammed her hands on the desk. “I can’t believe this! Two Mechanicans died because of you. You transmitted a virus to all of them and made them dance around in the streets. You made us all believe!”
“I didn’t—”
“And now it turns out that The Starliner is nothing but a cruise ship? A getaway vessel? A flipping vacation boat?”
“You have to understand, Telian—”
“Oh, I understand completely, Coremon,” she said as if spitting acid. “You fooled us all, and you made us all look like fools. Do you think the Mechanican community will live this down any time soon? Think of all the progress we’ve made as a people and now you’ve screwed it all up, setting us back years.”
“I—”
“You what? What, Coremon?” She had her hands on her hips. He looked up at her, but didn’t reply. “You basically made me feel like a dirty tramp because I was created as a SensualBot, but you’ve turned me into something even worse: a goddamn travel agent!”
Coremon slowly lowered his face back onto the desk, sobbing in a very human way.
While Zimp was usually not one to harbor resentment or engage in holding grudges, he walked over and set the potted plant on top of the android
’s head.
CEREMONY
THE PRESIDENT’S CONFERENCE hall was packed with CCOP citizens.
Dresker was at the podium along with his primary crew. They were looking out at a significant crowd of people.
Selby Gelbeht had been acting as Master of Ceremonies until the TelePrompter failed, then he was escorted from the stage in a frightened huff.
“I’ll keep this short,” Dresker said through the microphone, never one to be magniloquent. “First off, I want to thank all of our agents, and also Local Authority, for their hard work over the last few days. I know it hasn’t been easy keeping up with everything, but you’ve all done a wonderful job.”
Clapping ensued.
“I also want to thank the general populace for allowing us to do our work and for being cooperative during this trying time. And the same goes to the press.”
More clapping.
“I would like to single out one of the members of our community. He is a proprietor of a nice little pub called The Battery,” Dresker pointed at Clenk who was standing near the front of the crowd. “Though I doubt he realized it at the time, he was instrumental in helping us with this investigation.”
The drunks clapped a bit sloppily.
“As an aside,” Dresker added, “The Battery has a new menu and is in the process of being remodeled. It’ll soon have a complete wing for more family-style dining too, or so I’m told.”
Clenk nodded as a number of people began patting him on the back. Dresker let the praise go on for a moment before clearing his throat.
“Now I want to present an award to one of our own. This fellow is the first of his kind in our department. At least during my tenure. He took on a very difficult mission and came out with information that saved our world from what could have been a disastrous event. Agent Zimp Blitterbent,” Dresker said with a smile, “come on up here!”
Now there was a standing ovation. Zimp moved up and shook Dresker’s hand and then bowed his head as Dresker put the medallion around his neck. Without waiting for the chatter to die down, Dresker told Zimp to say a few words.
Zimp stepped to the podium and looked to be trying to steady himself. “Zimp doesn’t know what to say.”
“Understandable,” Dresker said and pushed the fellow back to a chair with the rest of his primary crew. “Let’s hear it for Zimp!”
A roar came from the crowd.
Behind him, Dresker heard Zimp say, “Zimp could have said more than that...”
“There were many others who played key roles in getting us through this difficult time,” Dresker nodded at Qweebdin, Brickens, and Twekman, “but I will leave it to their departments to present accordingly.”
Dresker smiled to the crowd.
“We have a lot of processing to do over the next couple of days,” he said. “Many agents are on-site at The Starliner building right now working on cleaning things up. Everyone will have a part to play in getting our streets back in order once more. We’re confident that, with your help, we’ll have the CCOP back on track in no time. Thank you all for your support, and may your favorite deity, if you have one, bless, as the case may be, the Conglomerated Conglomeration of Planets.”
The crowd was deafening as the IIB crew left the stage.
§ § §
“Now that was a hootin’ and hollerin’ event if I ever heard me one,” Hawkins said to Elwood.
“Yes, sir.” Elwood maintained his calm demeanor.
“That kind of celebration gets a man thinkin’ about his kin,” Dresker heard Hawkins say as he and Elwood exited. “I should take you ‘round to meet my family and see the bits that make up—”
“Thank you, sir,” Pat said to Dresker, stirring him from what Hawkins was saying. She was holding her badge in hand.
He looked at the badge and said, “For what?”
“For allowing me to work here all these years.”
He turned toward Cleb. “Is there something I should know?”
“She wants to do plant stuff instead.”
“What?”
“I don’t feel like I fit here,” Pat said with a shrug.
Dresker sat down.
He knew it was his fault she felt this way. She didn’t fit in with the IIB. Anyone could see that. But she made a great partner for Cleb and Cleb did fit in the group perfectly...if you could accept the fact that when he got nervous he tended to make smart remarks.
“Pat,” he started, but she stopped him.
“It’s not you, sir,” she said. “I know that I can be a bit irritating at times, but plants don’t mind that and, honestly, even when I’m working here I’m imagining doing something else.”
That was one thing that Dresker understood.
“And what about you?” he said to Cleb.
“I’m still finking fings frew,” Cleb responded.
“Sir,” Pat said, raising her hand and then she put it back down quickly. “Sorry. Um, if I may make a final suggestion before I leave the group?”
“Of course.”
“Zimp is new and he needs someone to look after him. Cleb would be a great mentor for him. He certainly was a great one to me.”
Dresker grinned at Pat. Not so dense after all.
“I think the idea is...brilliant.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Cleb?”
Cleb shuffled his feet a bit. “Well, I suppose I could stick around and help dat fella get used to fings. Ain’t never been a bot in dis place, like Pat says, so he gonna need da help.”
§ § §
Truhbel, Lemoolie, Hawkins, Elwood, and the newly acquired Yixee from marketing—who Dresker had insisted be transferred to his department as a condition of accepting his role of heading up the expanded IIB—had taken Bintoo out to dinner as a celebration on his achieving Reelheigh status.
The promotion was a little premature, but the council had remarked that his involvement in the recent events warranted an immediate reward.
It also didn’t hurt that Dresker had contacted them and expressed how thankful the CCOP would be if they considered the action as a personal favor.
It hurt even less when Tony Ravallo followed up with them moments later with an even more convincing argument.
EBB AND FLOW
“AND ZIMP WAS able to outwit the android and get the communication out to me,” Dresker said to Zarliana as they sat in her office.
“Impressive,” Zarliana replied.
Dresker nodded. “I have to admit that I didn’t expect much from Zimp. He turned out to be quite the surprise.”
“We’ll be sure to get him an updated voice synthesizer to show our appreciation.”
“I asked him about that,” Dresker said. “Says he’d like to keep the one he has now.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah,” Dresker said. “Seems to think that one of the issues with Coremon was that he thought too highly of himself. Doesn’t want to make the same mistake.”
“Again,” Zarliana said as she prepared to sip a bluish drink, “impressive. I’m also pleased that G.A.L. was able to adjust the forcefield in order to block the transmissions, even if it did turn out that The Starliner was just using the transmission codes to indicate the number of passengers that it had to pick up.”
“Yeah, she seemed perfectly happy to do that once she realized that The Starliner was nothing but a stupid Mechanican cruise ship.”
“Agreed. We’ll have to make sure this doesn’t happen again.”
“We’ve already confiscated all of the hard copies of paperwork at The Starliner,” Dresker said. “Now we’re just doing one more round of tidying up before we shut the place down. That should remedy any Mechanican ‘god’ issues.”
Zarliana stopped, mid-sip. “You think that’s wise?”
“The place is a mess right now—”
“No, I mean do you think it’s a good idea to shut down The Starliner?”
Dresker squinted. “After what they just did? I’d say it’s a fair
ly good idea, yes.”
“My point is that if you close down their religion it will give them another chink in the armor. Which reminds me, what is the plan with Coremon and Telian?”
“They’re both in custody,” Dresker responded while showing her an image of their mug shots. “We had Coremon go through and undo this little Trojan horse and virus, so all the Mechanicans are clean.” Zarliana raised an eyebrow. Dresker added, “It turns out that he was the only one capable of undoing what he’d done. I’m sure Twekman and Brickens would have figured it out eventually, but Coremon seemed awfully eager to make amends.”
“Do you think that he reprogrammed Telian? Is she really at fault for her actions?”
“I’m sure she was manipulated, but, according to Zimp, she stood up to Coremon at the end and helped Zimp escape.”
“Still…”
“With any other race,” Dresker pointed out, “would minor manipulations excuse any of these actions?”
“Can any other race truly be as tinkered with as a Mechanican?”
Dresker knew full well that they could be. He had too much empirical data on that from his home planet. After personally witnessing loyalists disappear one night and reappear the next morning as radicals, Dresker understood how pliable the mind was. But he wasn’t going to win this battle so he let it go with a shrug.
Zarliana crossed her arms. “I think we should approach this differently, Adam.”
“I’m listening.”
“We will free Telian and put her in a position of power at the new Mechanican religion, which she can name appropriately, as long as we approve.”
Dresker just sat there staring at the president. Was she seriously considering allowing a murderous bot to go free?
“And I know what you’re thinking, Adam,” Zarliana said softly. “But do keep in mind that Telian was instrumental in taking down Coremon. If she hadn’t taken action when she did, Agent Zimp never would have gotten through to you.”
“But she killed—”
“You saw the real feeds before Coremon altered them. It’s clear that she was a pawn in the death of Walter Blitterbent. And we have the actual records from Telian’s memory banks, which, I may add, she elected to share with us. They proved that the incident with Bob Jones was just an unfortunate accident.”
Starliner (The Intergalactic Investigation Bureau Book 1) Page 29